Loudspeaker: Welcome to the most evil students in the HP books awards!
Cows: Moo!
All: ::Claps::
::We look around the stadium. We see the presidents and Prime ministers of the Americas- as well as the audience- staying by force of the cows. A huge banner reading "Cows for Europe and Asia" adorns the stadium::
::Host walks on to the stage::
Host: I'd just like to show you the award! ::Shows award, which is a fake-gold piece of paper that reads "Evil" on it"
All: ::Claps::
::Host leaves::
Loudspeaker: Please welcome Hermione Granger!
::Hermione walks on to the stage::
Hermione: I'm here to present-
Loudspeaker: Wait a second!
Hermione: What?
Loudspeaker: Did I pronounce your name incorrectly?
Hermione: No.
Loudspeaker: O.K.
Hermione: I'm here to present the award for the most person mostly likely to betray there house and friends and become evil. And the nominees are-
Loudspeaker: Colin Creevy! Draco Malfoy! Parvati Patil!
Hermione: Wait a minute- I thought Malfoy was already evil.
Loudspeaker: -----
Hermione: O' Well. And the winner is- ::Opens envelope:: Colin Creevy!
::Colin Creevy walks on to the stage as Hermione walks off::
Colin: Um…
(5 minute pause)
Colin: Um….
::Cows attack Colin because he's taking so long::
All: Yippee!
Loudspeaker: Please look at the TV.
::T.V turns on::
Newscaster: Hey, all! This is a news bulletin. Apparently, the cows are now trying to take over Europe and Asia. They have already taken control of the Americas. The cows are now going to make a speech.
A Cow: Moo! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All cows: Moo!
::T.V turns off::
Loudspeaker: Please welcome Parvati Patil!
Parvati: I'm here to present the award for the character that acts evil but really isn't. And the nominees are-
Loudspeaker: Draco Malfoy! Gregory Goyle! Vincent Crabbe!
Parvati: And the winner is -::Opens envelope and becomes stunned:: Draco Malfoy.
::Parvati runs out to tell the producer that he or she made a mistake, but is "accidentally" run over by a 18-wheeler truck::
::Draco Malfoy walks on to the stage::
Draco: I don't have anything to say.
::Draco walks off the stage::
Loudspeaker: The cows have concurred Iceland, Turkey, Hungry, and India!
Cows: Moo!
Loudspeaker: Please welcome Ron Weasly!
::Ron walks on to the stage::
Ron: I'm here to present the award for the guy who is most likely to end up marrying an evil girl. And the nominees are-
Loudspeaker: Gregory Goyle! Vincent Crabbe! Colin Creevy!
Ron: ::Opens envelope:: Gregory Goyle!
::Goyle walks on stage::
Goyle: ::grunt::
::Goyle walks off stage::
Ron: ::Still on stage:: I forgot to leave! ::Ron leaves::
Loudspeaker: Please welcome Lavender Brown!
::Lavender walks on to the stage::
Lavender: I'm-
::Suddenly, a 10-ton weight falls on to Peter Pettigrew::
Lavender: Well that was unexpected. Anyway, I'm here to present the award for- um- something. Oh yeah, the most evil past student. And the nominees are-
Loudspeaker: Severus Snape! T.M Riddle, A.K.A Voldemort! Peter Pettigrew!
Lavender: And the winner is- ::Opens envelope:: Peter Pettigrew.
T.M Riddle A.K.A Voldemort: But, But, I killed people with a huge giant snake! Actually, only one person, but I petrified others…
Lavender: Too bad.
Loudspeaker: Peter Pettigrew just died due to a 10-ten weight so he can't except this award.
All: ::Huge claps and cheers::
Fudge: ::Stands up:: But he died, um, 15 years ago-
::Suddenly, a huge 20-ton weight falls on to Fudge::
All: ::HUGE claps and cheers::
All of the cows: MOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Loudspeaker: Please welcome Harry Potter!
::Harry walks on to the stage as Lavender exits::
Harry: I'm here to present the award for the most overall evil student. And the nominees are-
Loudspeaker: Draco Malfoy! Gregory Goyle! Vincent Crabbe! Pansy Parkinson! Millicent Bullstrode!
Harry: And the winner is- ::Opens envelope:: Volde- hey, wait, who changed the envelope?!?
Voldemort: ::Looking around innocently:: It wasn't me.
::T.V suddenly turns on::
::On the T.V screen, we see the prime ministers, presidents, Kings and Queens, etc., who rule all the countries in Europe and Asia::
The people on T.V: We all surrender!
All cows: MOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
~ The end ~
Disclaimer: Everything except for the leaders of the Asian, European, and American countries, the loudspeaker, the 18-wheeler truck, the weights, The T.V, and the cows belong to the writer J.K Rowling. The T.V belongs to whatever company owns it, the leaders of the Asian, European, and American countries belong to themselves, and I own the loudspeaker, the 18-wheeler truck, the weights, and the cows . You can have what I own, except for the cows.
A/N: O.K, I have a huge obsession of cows…