CONFESSION
"S-Sasuke-kun!" Sakura exclaims, surprised to see the man standing in front of her.
After years of trying to avenge his family and learning the truth about it, Sasuke finally decided to come back home. He was instrumental in ending the Fourth Shinobi World War, thus gaining the trust of Hokage and the villagers, although it didn't make him free from punishments completely. He was cut off from all missions and couldn't leave the village for six months. After his punishment was over, he travelled around the world to see how much damage has been caused and to see the world with a whole new clarity.
Ever since he came back from his journey, he busied himself with things that Sakura knows nothing of. This is the first time she sees him in a long time.
"Sakura," he nods calmly. "Can we walk?"
She stares at him blankly. She's surprised, confused, and has no idea why the hell would Sasuke ask her for a walk all of a sudden. She blinks and quickly snaps out of it. "S-sure! Wait here, I'll go grab my stuffs. Just a sec," she says, hurrying toward her office.
Sasuke watches as she half-runs to her office and closes his eyes. He can't believe the fact that he just asks her for a walk after years of trying to avoid her. He wouldn't be here if it wasn't for his sensei, Kakashi.
A week ago, he was renovating his house when Kakashi came by. He helped him with some stuffs and they spent the afternoon talking. Well, Kakashi did most of the talking with Sasuke giving minimum response here and there, but still.
"You're different," he said.
"Different how?"
"You're no longer so closed off. Sure, you still act like a baby who doesn't know how to form a sentence, but you didn't dismiss my attempts on conversation either. I've been here for like... an hour. That's a record for you, Sas," he said smiling. Sasuke had no response. "You're starting to open up about yourself. You start to let people into your life."
"Hn."
"and maybe, it's time to let her into your life," he added knowingly.
Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Her?"
Kakashi sighed. Even his brightest student becomes a dull when it comes to this stuff. "You know damn well what I'm talking about, Sasuke. She really cares about you. She saw you in your darkest path and still has faith in you. And don't tell me you don't have feelings for her, I noticed how you two interact. Besides, aren't you the one who said you'd see her when you got back?"
It was Sasuke who sighed. He glanced at the clock and closed his eyes. "I think you should leave. I have other things to do."
Kakashi chuckled. "Well, I'm glad that I've used your time limit as best as I can. I'll leave, but I suggest you think about what I said." He smiled at him and left.
Sasuke stared at his sensei.
He already apologized to her but even he knew it wasn't enough. It was just difficult for him to deal with his former teammate that he maybesortofalittle have feelings for. After years of hurting her, he knew Kakashi had some points and he had to see her eventually. It took him a week to find the courage and walk up to her.
She comes back and snaps him back to reality. "Let's go."
They walk toward the forest in silence. Sasuke haven't said a single word while Sakura was trying her best to kill the silence by asking a lot of questions. After some failed efforts to start a conversation, she decided to shut up and wait for Sasuke to speak up.
Sasuke glances at her. Between the two of them, he's not the talkative one. He decides to start with something simple. "How are you?" he asks.
"Great! I've been busy, though. There are a lot of things to do after the war. Healing all the injureds, rebuilding the villages, administrations, mostly. Maintaining relationships with other countries. And now that she has time, Tsunade-sama is teaching me some new jutsus other than medics," she explains.
"What about you?" she asks back, obviously curious. "I heard you move back to your house."
"Yes," he nods. "I'm rebuilding the house and the district."
"That's good. What about your apartment?"
"Sold."
"Oh." Sakura remembers the times when she visited his apartment. The first was when he was injured badly after the fight with Haku and Zabuza to bring him some foods. The second and last time was when he left the village. His apartment was already empty by then. She swallows before asking. "What have you been up to then?"
He doesn't answer immediately. "Not much," he says.
"Um... why were you in the office anyway?" she asks. "Did you see the Godaime?"
"Yes, and the rest of the council."
She looks confused. Just when she was about to open her mouth, Sasuke answered. "Here," he says and hands her some pieces of papers.
She examines them carefully. There are some registration forms for Hokage officer, ANBU, and Konoha Military Police Office. "Job offers?" she asks.
"Yes." he says tiredly.
She cuckles. It's a very normal thing for shinobi to look for jobs. But after all they've been through, there's something so funny and weird about Sasuke looking for jobs. "Are you taking one of these?"
He doesn't answer.
Sakura carries on. "What are your plans?" she asks, genuinely curious.
He sighs. "I'm not sure."
"Well, I can help you decide if you-"
"We're not here to talk about it," he cuts off and sits on the rock, gesturing for her to follows. She does. "Kakashi came to me the other day. We talked a lot, and I was thinking..." he trails, looking more nervous than ever. He takes a deep breath. "I was thinking about what you said earlier."
"Earlier?"
"Back when I left the village," he explains. "You said you wanted to come with me and... be with me," he says and looks up at her. Testing the water to see her reactions.
Sakura's face reddens but she remains silent. She has no idea where this conversation is going.
He takes another deep breath. "You told me how you feel about me and I never said anything back."
"You said 'arigato' and 'I'll see you when I get back," she cuts off, reciting the words Sasuke said to her.
A small smile formed on Sasuke's mouth. He knows she won't make this easy. "Yes. I said that, thank you for remembering."
Sakura smiles and encourages him to keep talking.
"I never really said anything relevant. I'm not sure if you still have feelings for me, but I thought I owe you this," he says, looking straight into her eyes.
This throws Sakura off balance. "O-of course I still have feelings for you!" she answers quickly. "You think I no longer have feelings for you? My feelings would never-"
He lifts his hand, telling her to shut up. "Listen to me," he commanded.
That shuts her up.
"You were always clinging to me ever since we were kids. It bugs me. And then we were teammates and you keep bothering me. It was annoying."
"G-gomen..." she stutters.
He smirks. "But I got used to it. And when you tried to stop me before I left, telling me that you wanted to come with me to help me avenge my family... I thought you were stupid but I was genuinely touched. For a briefest second, I was actually thinking about taking you along."
She blinks in surprise. She never knows about this.
"But it was never my priority. I was all set to avenge my family. It was my one and only lifetime mission and you were messing up my plans. Beside, it was too dangerous."
"Is that why you didn't want me to come?"
Sasuke ignores this. "The past time, I needed to figure things out for myself. And now, I have to rebuild my life. I'm not sure I can deal with this."
Sakura looks hurt. "I'm messing up with your plans again, aren't I?" she asks sadly.
"No, see, this is exactly what I mean." He looks frustrated. He rubs his face tiredly. "I'm not good with words when it comes to expressing my feelings. I always end up hurting you," he says, looking defeated.
Guilt peeks through Sakura's chest. She offers a small smile and places her hand on his knee.
He continues. "Look, you were never part of my plan. But I can't help it."
"You can't..."
"I'm drawn to you, that much I know," he admits. Sakura blushes. "and maybe-maybe I want the thing that you want. But love, romance, relationships... those kind of life aren't for me, Sakura."
Sakura waits. She's not sure where this conversation is going. Sasuke just confessed that he has a feeling for her but his next words sounded like rejection.
"I have to rebuild my life. My whole life, I was focused on killing Itachi. Now that he's gone and I've learned the truth, I have to start thinking for myself. Figuring things out, finding out what I wanna do with my life. Maybe-maybe I want you in my life. I think I do. But I need time to just... think. I don't wanna end up hurting you... again."
Sakura waits, unsure of how to respond to probably the longest and most honest statement Sasuke's ever made. "Sasuke... what are you trying to say? If... if you don't want me in your life, then why are you telling me this?" she asks sadly.
He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, trying hard to communicate what he really means. He shakes his head repeatedly. "It's not that. I'm saying this because I owe you. After everything you've done for me, you deserve to know that however you feel for me... it's not one sided. But I don't think I'm ready for that kind of life," he explains. His eyes locked to Sakura's in an intense gaze. "I don't know how to do this, Sakura."
Sakura tries to process everything. Sasuke has a feeling for her. He might later wants her in his life but right now he's lost, confused, and he needs time to think for himself. But he wants her. Isn't that everything she always hopes for?
She blinks away her tears and takes a deep breath before answering. "I'll wait."
Sasuke looks up.
"I'll wait, Sasuke. I'll wait for you until you're ready and I'll be here whenever you need me," she continues. "I don't know how to do this either, Sasuke. I might know from watching movies and Ino but I don't know how to do this with you. And it's okay, we'll take things slow. We'll learn how to do this together and we'll make this work," she says. Her eyes wet with tears.
Sasuke looks at her for a long time. This is the girl who's been loving him since they were kids. What started as stupid crush developed into a genuine feeling as they spent more times with each other. This is the girl who's seen him in his high and his low and be okay with it. This is the girl who's seen him in his darkest path and drags him away from it. And she's crying right now.
A little part of Sasuke wants to wipe away her tears and hugs her but it was too much for his pride. So he does the only thing he can. "Stop crying," he says and gets up. He waits a moment for her to calm down and starts walking toward the village.
"Are you coming or not?" he asks impatiently.
Sakura chuckles. She wipes away her tears and walks toward him.
