The Downfall of Legolas Greenleaf

By

'Oh my God the sky's not falling AGAIN is it ?' (Klael)

Disclaimer – Legolas isn't my character. I think that's everything, except I'm not making any money for this or anything I write. Today I am bored so I am writing this story in a vain attempt to get away from my homework, I thought it up two minutes ago running through the rain so if it is substandard I am sorry but I thought you might like it. If you don't understand references to Herbal Essences don't worry, it's an 'in joke'! When I can be bothered I have two more fics in the pipeline so don't hang around.           RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!! QUICKLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leggy the Elf (Long hair, short attention–span) was walking through one of the new 'something for everyone' shopping stores made possible by the removal of all things evil from Middle Earth. (e.g. Sauron – Lord of the Ring and Five times Staring Contest Master)

          Unfortunately for Leggy this particular store was actually a 'Something for everyone except Legolas and just about any other self-conscious elf' ; it must have been designed by a dwarf!

          Old (very!) Leggy had just about given up on finding the only place outside of Rivendell that sells Elven/Herbal Essences™ Haircare Products when he spotted a shop:

"The Only Shop Outside of Rivendell That Sells Elven/Herbal Essences™ Haircare Products"

That looked good!

So did the "Free Samples, esp. if you're called Legolas" sign in the window. In fact, it was perfect, so he walked right in.

****

The first thing Leggy noticed when he stepped inside was how dark it was, so he groped around for a light switch.

As the light flickered on far above him he noticed it was far darker in the hole he was falling down, but there was a nice sparkling below him.

****

Being skewered in various places by very pointy objects usually leaves a normal nerve cell to transmit some very nice, tingly, yet painful feelings to the brain and helpfully inform it that it can turn off now because there's no point.

You will be pleased to know that Legolas didn't feel a thing.

****

"Wow," said the frightening figure dressed in pink with a green afro (no clichés here!) "That one was easier than the dwarf!" and carefully stepping over the hole, he walked down the road away from the shop.

The End.