A Letter from You
Beta :AnotherFMAfan
Dear Edward:
"Hello" is always at the beginning of a letter, but I don't think you can see this, and for you, I don't need to be polite, right? So I just left it out. But then, why the hell did I write this letter? I even don't know where you are or where I can send this to you! Maybe paradise? God knows I never wrote such a stupid letter to Hughes. Probably just because I'd seen his corpse, but haven't seen yours. It's ridiculous that I attended your funeral when I never saw your body.
I still can feel the pain where you slapped my palm when we met last time. That's the first time you were nice to me, and I could see the determination and confidence filling your gold eyes that made me think we could become good friends after we came back from our battles. But the story never had a happy ending. I told Riza that the world is not perfect, so that's why it's beautiful, but when I found you had disappeared, I knew I had just lied to myself.
I killed the Fuhrer, yeah, though I lost my eye because of Archer. He is a bastard. But it's worth it, since I used an eye to save many lives, right?
And you, you used your life to save your brother's, it's equal then.
It's equivalent exchange after all. Yes, you succeeded. Alphonse has a body now, though it is a ten-year-old body. It's a shame that he lost the memories of when you traveled together to find the Philosopher's Stone. However, he's still lucky.
We searched for you everywhere, but never found a hint of you. Two years later, Mrs. Rockbell decided to hold your funeral, which made us lose all hope.
It's a shame that I will never have the chance to tease your height anymore; that has made me lose so much fun. Little brat, without you, there is no one to get me into trouble, no complaint calls, and no you. What a peaceful world!
Just why the hell have you left me as well—after Hughes died?! Perhaps you didn't know, but I did -and do- look at you and your brother as members of my family, otherwise I would never search for you around the whole country just to protect you.
I thought after that we could get along well, not that I thought we didn't before. I want to see your first drink, teach you how to drive, how to flirt with girls...when your father will never be here to teach you, I will do these things. Look, it will be an exciting moment when you take your first drink! Well, I have to say, don't touch cigarettes like Havoc, they will kill your lungs.
Hey! I know you like the Rockbell girl- despite of her acts of violence, she is still smart and sexy. Such a good girl. But you are so shy. I think I can teach you how to make her love you to death. You know, I am the famous Flame Alchemist, who is an infamous womanizer in Central. I am so kind that I don't mind adding a competitor in a field besides alchemy.
Just where the hell are you, Ed? We can't find you...everyone wants to see you again.
You little bastard—
After you disappeared, I found I love to say this word, which you used to call me when you became angry with me. Thinking back, you love bad language so much that every sentence you said could contain a "fuck" or something. I really don't who made you become such a fan of bad language. Maybe some hooligans you ran into during your travels. It's so easy for adolescents to form some bad habits anyway. The weird thing is that Alphonse wasn't like you, even when he was always stuck with you. He is always so nice when you always managed to be rude. You two are like the poles of the earth. As your guardian and
commanding officer，I should have looked after your language. I always said a charming gentleman should demonstrate his grace. Now I really regret that I didn't notice it.
I shouldn't have let you go to Lior, then Al wouldn't have, and so he wouldn't have become a Philosopher's Stone—you wouldn't have had to sacrifice for each other. We could have made a good plan. We could have found another way to achieve our goals. You were so smart that you have never let me down.
God, maybe I shouldn't have let you fight by yourself that day. I should have gone with you to find Al, then we could have beat all the homunculi together. You would still be alive, and Al would get his body back.
Forgive me for this stupid fantasy.
I always think, why can't good men have a happy ending? Hughes was my best friend, and he was a good husband and father. And you are a good boy too. But both of you died before me, who has killed so many innocent people at war. I am the person who deserves to die.
Better think of a place to send this crap.
Yours sincerely,
Roy·Mustang