Title: Phone Conversations (Chloe and Lois)
Author: SmileeFace
Fandom: Smallville
Pairings: Chloe/Oliver, Chloe/Lois(Bonding), Clark/Lois?
Rating: Right now they're PG
Disclaimer: I do not own Smallville/DC or the characters. I am just playing with them.
Summary: Ok, so I've had a couple of stories started. I just decided to post them and see how everyone likes them.

A/N: Chloe never married Jimmy. Actually, Chloe and Jimmy never got back together from their break up at Valentine's Day. Davis has not entered the picture. And Chloe has moved to Star City and is working for Oliver and the League. Chloe has also developed some hard core relationship commitment issues. And Lois and Clark have begun their epic romance.

Lois said to Chloe over the phone in an exasperated voice, "You know what, if Prince Charming were to knock on your door right this minute and ask you to go with him so that he could give you happily ever after; you'd respond with complete and utter suspicion. You'd ask him where he got the white horse? Why did he choose you? What made him think that you needed a man to give you happily ever after in the first place? What makes this guy tick?

"You'd tell him, 'thanks but no thanks. I think that Snow White down the street could use a Prince and a happily ever after, though.' Then you'd slam the door in his face.

"Look Chlo, if that doesn't scream commitment issues, I don't know what does?" Lois finished her speech.

"What?" Chloe replied completely perplexed. "What is so wrong about doing a back ground check on Prince Charming...everyone is hiding something. I just like knowing what I am getting myself into before I jump into the water. And for the record, there is no such thing as happily ever after...it's just a story that we blind little girls with so that they can over look the faults of the men that they fall in love with. We intentionally blind these girls to the truth and we wonder why the divorce rate is in such a state. Every one of those girls who grew up believing in happily ever after has been divorced at least once...cruelly having the fairytale blinders ripped from her eyes during a messy divorce battle. And please, don't even get me started on love. That is a WHOLE other can of worms all together."

Laughing at Chloe's harsh assessment of the world's divorce rate and preparing her rebuttal to such an outlandish statement, Lois shook her head sadly when she realized that there was nothing she could say that could change Chloe's opinion on this matter.

"Ouch, maybe it's time for you to go talk to a professional about this. It's obviously not a healthy out look and it seems to me that you may need some professional help getting over your commitment issues. If you even have to ask what's wrong with doing a background check on a potential romantic partner, your issues are more intense than I suspected and you have proved my point ten fold. I love you, Chloe and I don't want to see you unhappy any longer."

"I truly do not understand why everyone thinks that I need to have a man...a romantic interest in my life to find true happiness. If it has to do with sex then that's not a problem I can handle those urges myself or go find a man to help me with them at the local bar...men have no problems helping with those kind of womanly issues; it's the actual procreating and sticking around to raise the child that they have a problem with. Having a man for comfort...hello, I have yet to met a man who can give the kind of comfort that one of my friends can give to me. Intimacy...yeah, I think I addressed that issue, the bar down the street gives me plenty of different options for that issue."

"Chlo, intimacy and sex are two completely different things..." Lois was about to go into the differences between intimacy and sex when she heard Chloe sigh over the phone...Lois could almost picture Chloe rolling her eyes in frustration as she prepared herself for the lecture that she thought she was on the receiving end of. Lois decided that she wasn't even going to address this subject any longer. She decided that it was time to change the topic.

"So, Chlo, how's the new job working out for you? Enjoying working for Oliver out there in Star City? You know how much Clark and I miss you here." There, subject changed...pointless debate averted.