There is no Christmas in the Central Shadow Realm. Why would there be? Our Christmas is derived from a key event and a religious doctrine that never happened in the Shadow Realm. In turn, none of the other holidays humans know have a place in the Central Shadow Realm - no landing of the pilgrims means no Thanksgiving, after all.
But do not think that the calendar is completely gray and lifeless within the Central Shadow Realm, empty of festivity and celebration. At the center of the year, the founding of the Central Shadow Realm is celebrated with a day off of work. And at the year's end, on the twenty-first day of the twelfth month, the monsters commemorate the creation of the Shadow Realm itself. They remember the day that the world they know and all that lies within it came into being.
This day is known as All Shadow's Beginning.
Shadow Realm: Holiday
A Central Shadow Realm story
-Four minutes after ten in the evening, twentieth day of the twelfth month, 5179-
The Council Building was in its typical end-of-session meltdown, the various aides and bucreacrats seeking some way to get hold of a Council member's time before they were unavailable. Endless streams of monsters poured up and down the halls, carrying folders full of paperwork to be filed, proposals to be looked at and signed, legal documents of dubious value, and the other assorted trivialities of government work.
Two Aswan Apparitions floated down the main hall, both clutching overstuffed clipboards containing meaningless data to their chests and seeking Exodia's attention, with little hope of actually getting it. They passed a little too close to a Dreamsprite with a cart of transcripts, and she veered to avoid colliding with them. In doing so, she steered directly into a Legendary Jujitsu Master, whose coffee tipped over and fell onto the transcripts. The resulting fight could be heard three doors down.
Not for the first time in her life, Ophelia reflected on how useful being so short could be. The Queen's Double walked up to the cart and then dipped her head before passing under it, coming out the other side without missing a step. A Mine Golem with a mop came up to her, and she spun around him to continue on, adjusting her headband. At this point she allowed herself a smile.
Ophelia's smile vanished as she rounded a corner and ran directly into a large, metallic leg. It was a moment before the stars in her eyes faded out, and she groaned a little before standing up. Stupid karma, she thought.
"My apologies," the leg's owner said in a familiar monotone. Looking up, Ophelia saw that the leg belonged to the Machine King, as she'd expected. "I am waiting for one of my aides to bring a copy of the minutes from the meeting today. I had a question to ask Messiena before we broke for All Shadow's Beginning."
Right, the Queen's Double thought. We break for the holiday in a few hours. "So what did you have planned for All Shadow's Beginning?" she asked, wondering what a machine did with its free time.
There was a moment's pause and a sound like a quarter dropping into a slot before the machine replied, "I have agreed to attend a special performance of The Innocent Gear at the Satellite Club."
The Innocent Gear? That's not one I've heard of, Ophelia thought. "Really? What is it about?"
"I am not certain myself. The Cosmo Queen invited me to join her at the performance, and I had nothing else planned."
Many, many questions rose in the Low-Level Representive's head, and she only managed to answer, "Uh-huh..."
Before the silence could truely get uncomfortable, the Machine King then asked, "Have you heard anything of what the other representatives have planned?"
Ophelia adjusted her headband, giving a silent prayer of thanks to the Gods. "Escalus has a police fundraiser," she said. "The Legendary Fisherman is going to Toon World, D'ampton left for the Dragon Lairs a few days ago, and Sellick is spending the day with his sisters."
"That would explain why he was asking Kalvelos to destroy him earlier." There was another pause, then that dropped quarter sound before the Machine King added, "What did you have planned yourself?"
This time it was Ophelia's turn to pause, and she eventually answered, "I have some plans..."
"I presume they involve the Kagemusha of the Blue Flame who regularly visits your office," the machine added.
It was a moment before Ophelia could stop sputtering long enough to say anything. How did it figure that out? A few deep breaths passed before she blushed, rubbed the back of her head, and admitted, "He prefers to be called Reynald."
The Machine King nodded, making no further comment. It merely stated, "Do not let me hold you up further. Happy All Shadow's Beginning."
"You, too!" And Ophelia took off at a dash, looking up to a clock. Ten after ten, she thought. Plenty of time to get there.
She bounced past a Decayed Commander who was heading for Pumpking's office. The zombie stepped out of her way, then looked to the Machine King and asked, "Where's she goin'?"
"To see her boyfriend," the Machine King answered.
The zombie blinked, scratched a crumbling spot on his armor, and muttered, "She's got a boyfriend? Huh. Guess there really is someone for everyone."
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-Twenty minutes after ten in the evening, twentieth day of the twelfth month, 5179-
The first rule of any police force is that there are always cops on duty. Even during the holidays, someone must be on watch. This is, after all, why people trust the police - because they're always there. Granted, some people will never trust the police under any circumstances, but they can be discounted.
The Central Shadow Realm Police Force was as subject to this requirement as any other force, and so the shift of cops destined to be on duty during All Shadow's Beginning began to file in. This shift, among the least desired in the whole of the calendar, had long since gotten the nickname "the Poor Bastard shift".
Three Science Soldiers, having come into an unexpected stretch without orders, were playing cards with an Element Magician in the break room. The Element Magician, R-31T (she went by Reit), looked at her hand and then up to her opponents. Why, she thought to herself, do I agree to play cards against monsters who don't have faces?
An Unfriendly Amazon, Detective Aysev, moved up behind the Science Soldiers at that point. She looked between their hands, her expression shifting from amusement to dismay to disgust.
"I fold," Reit said as she tossed her cards into the center of the table.
As one, the Science Soldiers turned to Aysev, and their visors glared red.
"Hey, you guys have an unfair advantage," Aysev said. "Besides, we don't get paid enough to gamble. That and Dupin wants anyone not on other duties to help shift some old evidence into permanent storage. It looks like you don't have anything else to do..."
Steam poured out of the helms of all three Science Soldiers, and they got up as one, trudging back into the perpetual chaos of the main office.
Reit wiped her forehead, her headwear shifting, and then pocketed the money she'd had on the table, as well as the money the Science Soldiers had forgotten to take with them. "Thanks," she said.
"No problem. You on the Poor Bastard shift?"
The Element Magician sighed and nodded, getting up. "I got in early," she said. "The shift proper doesn't start for another ten minutes, so I had some free time. You aren't, I see."
"Lucky guess," Aysev said.
"Not really. You aren't wearing your gunbelt."
Looking at her hips, the Unfriendly Amazon raised an eyebrow and then nodded. "Oh, forgot about that."
"How about your partner?" Reit asked, cleaning up the cards.
"He told me to pick him up from the lab once I was set to go," Aysev answered. "Care to join me?"
"I might as well."
The two stepped into the hallway, and then stepped back to let a Roboyarou with a recording device run past. Apparently he had orders to deliver. They made their way through the tangle and then into the lab in question.
A Masked Sorcerer and a Sasuke Samurai were sitting at a lab table, an Obnoxious Celtic Guardian leaning against the wall. In the center of the table sat a piece of floor tile with a series of scorch marks crossing its surface, a picture of a cracked and burned floor beside it, and a magifying glass hung over the tile.
The Masked Sorcerer was muttering to himself, "Seriously... the one day in a year I get assigned double shifts and it's on All Shadow's Beginning. How exactly is that fair?"
"Oh, grow up, Ninef," the Obnoxious Celtic Guardian said. "A couple of months after I join the force and I got the Poor Bastard shift, too. Fate is just odd like that sometimes."
"But three years in a row? I swear Dupin gets a kick out of torturing the lab boys."
The Sasuke Samurai looked up and said, "And what, exactly, would you do with the free time?"
There was a pause, and then Ninef chuckled. "I'd spend it drinking cheap beer," he said. "Guess you have a point. Since that raises the question, what would you be doing, EZ?"
EZ - E-013-Z, the Obnoxious Celtic Guardian - did not answer, as that was when Aysev cleared her throat and made her presence known. Reit did, however, notice his cheeks redden.
"Ah, Aysev," the Sasuke Samurai said. "I see you're ready to go."
"That I am, Geefor," Aysev replied. "You?"
Holding up one finger, Geefor turned to Ninef. "Zaborg will want the burn mark analysis by the twenty-fourth. That's when the case is going to trial."
"Yeah, yeah," the Masked Sorcerer muttered, waving a dismissing hand. "Go on, then. Enjoy not being on the Poor Bastard shift, see if I care. Lawn ornament."
There was a sound like a Gadget Soldier under a Limiter Removal, and Reit realized with a feeling of utmost worry that it was coming from Geefor. Clearing her throat, she asked, "So, Geefor... What are you doing for All Shadow's Beginning?"
The noise died down, and the Sasuke Samurai readjusted his topknot as he said, "There is a police fundraiser dinner scheduled for the evening. I understand Inspector Gonzap will be giving a speech about next year's priorities, and I make it a point to keep up on them."
"Yeah," Aysev added, "it's part of his job description - 'memorize the boring stuff so his partner doesn't have to'."
"Well, one of us has to, Aysev."
Reit laughed for a moment, caught her breath, and then asked the Unfriendly Amazon, "And you, Detective?"
There was silence, and the Element Magician wondered if she was the only one who felt the temperature drop. Then Aysev said, her usual attitude missing, "Let's go, Geefor. The trains leave in fifteen minutes."
The Sasuke Samurai nodded, a look of concern on his face as he jumped down from his chair. The two monsters left the lab and made their way through the hall.
Reit looked after them, then turned to EZ and asked, "Did I make a mistake?"
"Well, kind of," EZ said, "but it's one of those that you make without any idea it is one. Detective Aysev did something last week that was a first for the CSRPD."
"What did she do?"
Ninef answered her now: "She's the first CSRPD officer to actually request the Poor Bastard shift."
For a moment it seemed as though the world had changed colors. Reit blinked, and all she could say in response was, "Really?"
"Really," EZ said. "Dupin couldn't see a reason why, so he turned her down. She wasn't very happy with that, but she didn't appeal, either."
"When I heard about it, I asked one of the Injection Fairy Lilies what she was up to," Ninef added. "According to her - and I know this is honest information, because I paid her a pack of Painted Flowers - Aysev wanted the shift because, and I quote, 'it was better than spending All Shadow's Beginning alone again'."
The Element Magician could only stare, trying to take that in. Then the buzzer went off announcing a shift change, and she nodded to EZ and Ninef before going back out into the chaos and wading through it, heading for her superior's office. As she moved, she thought, How lonely do you have to get before you start asking to work on the biggest holiday of the year?
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-Thirty-three minutes after eleven in the evening, twentieth day of the twelfth month, 5179-
Sellick, Harpie's Brother, Beast and Winged-Beast Representive on the Shadow Council, sat at a table in his sisters' house. Behind him, Camille, Nell and Anita, the Harpie Lady Sisters, were very loudly discussing their holiday party plans. Sellick himself stared at the bottle of beer before him.
Dark World, he thought to himself, is a paradise compared to siblings.
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-Fifty-five minutes after eleven in the evening, twentieth day of the twelfth month, 5179-
The trains run at almost every hour of the day and night in the Central Shadow Realm, but some stops are only serviced at very odd hours. In part, these are the stops that the trains are nervous about - the Armory in the Work Quarters, the elevator to the Major Offender Lockup, and the like. On the train schedules, such stops are referred to as "Irregulars".
Of all the Living Quarters, only one stop was off the regular list and on the Irregular list, and that was the Low-Level Zombie Habitation Quarters. Once it had served the purpose its name stated, but that was before the Ha Des Business Syndicate had come into the limelight and chosen the district as its center of operations. Now the few low-level zombies who still stayed there did so in deep fear or out of desperation, and the great majority of the district was either in ruins or a very, very dangerous place to be by day. It was rumored that anyone killed in the Low-Level Zombie Habitation Quarters after dark had "Suicide" listed for cause of death.
A train pulled into the station at the Low-Level Zombie Habitation Quarters, and the door slid open, revealing only one passenger. The passenger, a Queen's Double, stepped off of the train and quickly moved behind a lamp post. A pair of Archfiend Soldiers, one holding a package of suspicious nature, boarded the train. The one with his hands free lit a cigarette as he stepped into the train, and the doors slid shut behind them.
Looking around, Ophelia headed out of the station and down the street. Her hands were in her pockets, and one hand went up to straighten her headgear again. Something wet hit the back of her hand, eliciting a sigh from her. Rain? she thought. Couldn't the Shadow Realm give me a break on the weather, at least? I don't mind there being no snow; my legs are too short for that to be appealing...
Her thoughts were cut off by a very strong hand with very sharp nails taking hold of her shirt. It lifted her up as she yelped, and she swung around to look a giant of a monster in the eyes. The monster, a fiend, had glowing white eyes, yellow skinn, and a leonine cast to his face; he wore a green cape around dirty, spiked golden armor, and a surprisingly clean white mantle around his shoulders.
The fiend grinned, sharp teeth showing, and said, "Just in time, little Ophelia..."
After a moment, the Queen's Double hugged the fiend around the neck and cried, "Uncle Balter!"
Most warriors would have panicked at the thought of hanging helplessly from the grip of a Dark Balter the Terrible, but Ophelia knew she was in no danger. She had known this one for literally all of her existence.
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- Fifty-seven minutes after eleven in the evening, twentieth day, twelfth month, 5179 -
The Low-Level Fairy Living Quarters was, in comparison to some of the other parts of the Central Shadow Realm, somewhat more liveable. Given that this involved comparing it to the barely-contained warzone of the Low-Level Zombie Habitation, the flame-scarred pits of the Low-Level Pyro and Thunder Living Quarters, and the cramped, crumbling mess of the Low-Level Spellcaster Living Quarters, this was praising with faint damn, but it was still something worth bragging about. The streets were dirty, but anyone who was forced to sleep in them during the evening (and tonight a number of fairies, through bad luck and poor choices, were eking out what warmth they could in the alleyways) would find at least some promise of safety.
Tucked into a corner between a grocery store with its barricades up and a hole-in-the-wall spell cube shop sat a building that looked like part of the Higher Plane had tipped over and dropped it in. It stood a good two stories high, with (fake) parapets jutting from its roof and sturdy wooden doors on the front, currently open. The building shone white as the street lights hit its thick coats of paint, and the red trim on its doorway stood proud with no sign of weathering. The entire building was modeled after a Shine Castle, and looked the part.
In front of the building stood a sign, with the three-color circle (yellow, blue, red) at its top:
"Church of the Gods
All Shadow's Beginning Midnight Service
FREE TO ALL"
Tonight they'd dropped their usual requests for donations. As a result, a number of the poorer denizens of the quarters were streaming in, most out of a hope that it would be somewhat warmer inside.
Inside the church, a number of monsters had already lined up and filled the pews, holding hands and singing a hymn to the Gods in Pure Tongue, the fairy language. Those who didn't know the words swayed to the music, their eyes shut and their heads raised. A Protective Soul Ailin fluttered in and, finding nowhere to sit, landed on the shoulder of a Forgiving Maiden, who smiled and patted her back.
On all sides were artwork of the Gods - Ra drawing the Shadow Realm forth from nothingness, Obelisk holding off the Great Leviathan, Slifer tearing the old world apart. At the front of the room sat an altar, behind which a Whirlwind Prodigy currently stood, leading the song; at his side a Spirit of the Harp played the melody.. Behind him there was a great mural, showing the three Gods - the Winged Dragon of Ra with his wings spread, shining with great light; Obelisk the Tormentor, arms folded and his armor dark with the sins punished; and Slifer the Sky Dragon, curled on himself and with steam pouring from both his great mouths, lightning crackling around his form.
The song slowly reached its conclusion, and the Whirlwind Prodigy stepped down, the Spirit of the Harp following him. A Hysteric Angel climbed the steps past them, carrying a book under one arm. He checked his watch and set the book on the altar before saying, "Please be seated."
The assembled monsters sat down as one.
Opening the book, the Hysteric Angel began to read:
"Before anything, after everything, for all known time, there are the Gods. Ra, who creates; Obelisk, who maintains; Slifer, who destroys. They have created worlds and they will destroy worlds; they bring life forth and send it on when its time is past.
"For time uncounted and time uncountable, there was nothing. An endless, unknown emptiness constituted the whole of reality, with no boundry or meaning. It was the unformed, the Chaos, the Unborn Shadow.
"Then there was a single spark, a light born from nothing and consumed by nothing in short order. But that spark sent out light in all directions, and the Gods saw it rise, as they see all things. That light caught their eyes, and so they descended. And in this empty void they saw promise.
"Ra reached into the Unborn Shadow with his claws, the light pouring from his being and driving away the Chaos. His great hands shaped the nothingness and gave it substance, in doing so causing it to turn from nothing to something. From the Unborn Shadow, Ra fashioned the boundries and the meaning, giving it a form and a name. And Ra called his creation, the world he had made, the Shadow Realm.
"Obelisk now took the world Ra had created, and he breathed out onto it, his breath carrying the power of Fate. As the great fog of his breath rolled over the Shadow Realm, what was once an empty plane grew the seeds of life, the power of spontaneous generation. There was a lump in the matter, and as the breath passed over it, that lump was scoured away. From it rose Exodia, the Forbidden One, the destined leader of all monsters.
"But as he rose, Slifer saw a potential for great evil in him, and he lashed out with his tail. That evil was knocked away from Exodia, and it took form as Exodia Necross. The two began to do battle, and from here we know the tale."
The Hysteric Fairy looked up from the book, and he extended a hand to the monsters in the pews. "For the Gods created all things, monsters and material, and today was the first day. Today is All Shadow's Beginning, the birthday of the Shadow Realm."
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-Three minutes after midnight, twenty-first day, twelfth month, 5179 -
In the Level Four Spellcaster Living Quarters, along a certain road about ten minutes by foot from the train station, the bar known as the Missing Number was open for business, one of the few places that was still open on All Shadow's Beginning. The sign over the door bore no name, just a circle of nineteen lights, flashing on and off in turn.
The owner of the bar, a Magicial Scientist named Cordner, believed that there should be a place for any monster that had nowhere else to be on All Shadow's Beginning. He himself, after all, was one of them.
A sign by the door brore a Summoned Skull in a circle with a line through it, the words "Level 5 or lower only" under the picture. In the bar proper, an Ancient Lizard Warrior took sips from a bowl of whiskey as it sat in the corner, dreams of faded glory in its head. A D.D. Crazy Trainer sat atop his D.D. Crazy Beast mount, an empty bottle of beer on the table in front of him and a full one in his hand. His monster raised its head from time to time, and he poured it a shot. Flanking either side of the bar proper were a Lava Battleguard and a Swamp Battleguard, the two silent and strong.
Cordner poured another measure of rum into the glass before him, and then pushed it across the bar. The Insect Knight sitting there, I-003-C (Ituoh), took the rum and drank it, mandibles clicking. Its sword sat on the empty stool beside it, and his shield leaned against the bar beside its foot.
"I don't get it," Ituoh said, a hint of clicking in its voice as it spoke; Shadow Realm Prime was a little tricky for insects to learn, and the effort to keep from reverting to buzzes and clicks was clear on its face. "I joined the army ten years ago, and I've done well in every exercise. My commanding officer told me just the seventeenth she was putting me up for promotion after the holiday. And then I come into my bunk yesterday and all my stuff is gone! I asked Vivicee about it, and she told me that she'd seen a new recruit, a Creator Incarnate, running off with it." It drank the rest of its rum.
Cordner waited a moment, waving to a Malice Ascendant that floated into the bar. "And?" he finally asked.
The Insect Knight clicked its mandibles a few times, but then cleared its throat and got out, "The Creator Incarnate was burning everything I own. Ten years in the army, everything I'd ever gotten out of it... ashes. I beat the hell out of him and asked why, and he told me, 'I'm not having some insect's stuff on my foot locker'. The bastard got the bed next to mine." It groaned, buzzing its wings for a moment, and then went on, "He got busted by the MPs for it, Gilford tore him a new one and they threw him out of the army, but that isn't going to get my stuff back. Bastard hit the ashes with a Mystical Space Typhoon when he was done. Even magic can't fix that."
"What all did you lose?" Cordner asked, turning now to get the Malice Ascendent's order. He then poured a gin-and-tonic and slid it down the bar, where the zombie caught it.
"Two commendations," Ituoh began, the membranes pulling down over its eyes. "Both my spare sets of armor and my Tailor of the Fickle cubes. The books I had in my foot locker - the Creator Incarnate broke into my foot locker, for the love of the Gods. My bedroll. The jigsaw puzzle I was working on... The only thing that brother of the Terrorking didn't burn was my medals, and that's probably because they wouldn't burn!"
The Magicial Scientist then asked, "So he didn't burn your medals?"
Reaching into the pouch on his hip, the Insect Knight set three medals on the counter, pointing them out. "A Heart of the Brave - got that one when we were called out for the 5176 Cyber Dragon attack... damn thing nearly took off my foot. The one with Exodia's head is the Five-Year Service medal; the Crossed Arrows pin on it is for ten year's service. And the one shaped like a fist is the Perfect Warrior medal - they gave me that one after we fought off a Dark World incursion out on the Wastelands three years ago."
"Ah, yes, I read about that in the paper," Cordner said. "So you didn't lose your medals. You said you'd lost everything you had from your ten years in the army, but you still have the memories attached to these medals. All you lost were possessions."
Ituoh blinked a few times, then drained its rum and looked at the medals again. "I guess you have a point. That's... that's a heck of a way to look at it."
"If there's one thing I'm good at, it's ways to look at things that you haven't tried. You have to be good at that to get a liquor license in the Central Shadow Realm."
The Insect Knight chuckled in its usual raspy way, only to look to the stairs as the sound of footsteps coming down became clear.
Cordner looked as well, thinking, Please, Gods, do not be those Ryu-Kishin Clowns again. I already threw them out once this week.
An Unfriendly Amazon came around the corner, walking up to the bar without a word. She set herself on the stool next to the Insect Knight and tossed some money across the counter.
Oh... It's her. I should have expected as such. It is a holiday, after all. "Good evening and/or morning, Detective Aysev," Cordner said, pulling a bottle of Yebichu Beer out of the ice sink behind him. "Happy All Shadow's Beginning."
The warrior didn't answer, instead taking the beer and popping the top off.
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-Seven minutes after midnight, twenty-first day of the twelfth month, 5179-
Everything had gone quiet in the Beast and Winged-Beast Living Quarters, as the nocturnal monsters began to prowl through the endless jungles without a sound. An All-Seeing White Tiger looked out from the rock it was currently perched upon, hearing footsteps coming from the distance. Something had crossed the border from the Dinosaur, Reptile and Insect Habitat, and the tiger thought for a moment its dinner had come to it.
Then the monster in question came into view. It was a large, bipedal lizard in steel armor, with blue hair in a topknot and sharp axe blades on his forearms. He carried a large jug in one hand and a lantern in the other.
The tiger settled down, snorting. There was no eating the Rude Kaiser. That was a rule established long ago.
With the dim light from his lantern to guide him, the Rude Kaiser followed a well-worn game trail, his scaled feet sending up an orderly series of thuds with each step. He passed by a trampled stretch of foliage where a pair of Dark Zebras had bedded down, the scorched terrain of a Great Angus, and the shredded-leaf nest of several Bubonic Vermin, heading up the game trail to its conclusion.
It led as all game trails do, to a massive clearing at the forest's heart. It was currently empty, but the Rude Kaiser knew it wouldn't be for long. He knelt down and brushed away a pile of leaves, exposing a rudely dug hole, stained with dark fluid.
The forest shook, and several Blue-Winged Crowns flew off into the distance. Two trees parted, and a gigantic, pink-skinned monster stepped into the clearing, growling. Its purple fur was on end, and saliva dripped from its great jaws as it glared down at him.
"Just bringing you the usual gift," the Rude Kaiser said, pulling the cork on the jug. He then knelt and began to pour its contents into the hole as he had several times before.
The strong smell of very good sake wafted up from the hole, and Behemoth, King of All Animals, relaxed its pose. It then lowered its head and began to lap at the puddle of alcohol in the hole.
Raising the now nearly-empty jug, the Rude Kaiser took a swig from it himself and said, "Happy All Shadow's Beginning, big guy."
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-Thirty minutes after midnight, twentieth day of the twelfth month, 5179-
Of the Zombie Habitation Quarter penthouses, only one held a monster other than a Vampire Lord. That one belonged to the only Despair in the Dark that had managed to learn what "civilization" was. All of the others held the feudal nocturnal monsters. One in particular had called one penthouse in particular home for three thousand years.
So the Shadow Realm is another year older, the Vampire Lord Galbrade thought as he looked out a window onto the rest of the city. I wonder exactly how old it is... We will never know. Our calendar started with the creation of the Central Shadow Realm. How many millenia passed before the day we came together to build this city? He traced vague symbols on the glass with his fingers. This city and I... we are so much alike. We both feed on those weak enough for us to draw vitality from. As I look out onto this vampiric city, all I can think is...
"Galbrade!" a female voice called, and then footsteps approached the bedroom, accompanied by a quiet humming. It sounded like a Harpy Lady Sisters song.
...that it is impossible to get a few quiet moments to brood anymore. Galbrade sighed, adjusted his cloak, and then turned and opened the door. A Vampire Lady stood on the other side, her face in a giddy smile and-
"Shanoa, we discussed this last night," Galbrade said, resting his head on one hand. "I told you some twenty times - I do not look good in yellow. The silks I always wear will be fine for the party."
The Vampire Lady's smile turned to a disappointed pout, and she jabbed Galbrade with the hanger she was holding. An extremely yellow suit hung from it. "But all of the Vampire Lords will be wearing that!" she said, following Galbrade as he slid past her and moved down the hall. "I want you to stand out!"
Taking a glass of chilled Niwatori blood from a passing Reborn Zombie (one that had very good timing), the Vampire Lord sighed. "I am three thousand years old, Shanoa. There is a law on the books that prevents me from coming too close to a plant monster for fear of wilting them. Trust me, my dear, I will stand out perfectly."
"Come on!" Shanoa said, moving up alongside him. Her fangs were just barely showing in her mouth, giving her a Rescue Cat look. "You should stand out on the surface, too! Aren't you tired of being invisible until you want something?"
"It has served me well so far." Galbrade sipped his blood, wondering once again why he chose this Vampire Lady to be his bride. The front runners were loneliness and desperation, with a stealthy drugging with Pot of Generosity being a close third place.
By now the two monsters had entered the parlor, and another Vampire Lord came up to the two, his hands rubbing together nervously and his eyes down. Galbrade allowed himself a smirk - this was his youngest offspring, Julius, and he had yet to grasp that he was no longer bound by blood to serve his creator. Of course, he had just awoken from being a Red Moon Baby a few years ago.
"Is there something going on, Julius?" Galbrade asked, hearing Shanoa hand off the yellow suit behind him. Thank you, Sacred Ancestor.
The younger Vampire Lord nodded, straightening his back a little. "One of Orlok's servants called," he said. "It's official. All of the Vampire Lords will be at the party. Including Samedi's successor."
Shanoa gently flicked Galbrade's shoulder with one of her fingers. "And here you were wondering why going to this party was a good idea!" she said. "Didn't you want to meet Samedi's replacement?"
"Not particularly," Galbrade replied, taking another sip of the blood afterward. "When you have done the same with literally every other Vampire Lord since you were created, the novelty wears off." He turned to Julius. "Are you certain he said every other Vampire Lord?"
Julius nodded and said, "He specifically mentioned Malkav and Kardok."
The elder Vampire Lord ignored the Vampire Lady snorting behind him, one hand going to his chin. He then finished his blood and handed the glass to the same Reborn Zombie he had taken it from. "I believe there are only a few minutes before the party, Shanoa," he said, turning to her. "Shall we go?"
Confused, Shanoa nodded, and then let out a little start as Galbrade took her hand and headed for the door. Julius bowed to them as they headed out, and the elder Vampire Lord made a mental note to teach him confidence one of these days.
"What brought this on?" Shanoa asked as they stepped out into the late-evening gloom, where a Supply holding a black-enamel rickshaw waited. "You wanted nothing to do with this party a minute ago!"
"Malkav will be there," Galbrade replied.
The Vampire Lady snorted again. "That lunatic?"
"My dear, 'that lunatic' is the only one of the lot who can actually keep my interest for more than five minutes these nights."
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-Thirty minutes after one in the morning, twenty-first day of the twelfth month, 5179-
Dupin, once known as Freed the Matchless General, stood alone in his office at last. He'd given the usual orders and issued the usual warnings, with an extra degree of force behind them in order to make sure the Poor Bastard shift wouldn't try to shirk their duties. One hand ran through his mustache, and he sighed, feeling the job settle on his shoulders as it always did at this time of year.
The chief of police always worked the Poor Bastard shift. It was one of the things his subordinates respected about him.
For now, however, he had his usual ritual to carry out. Turning to his desk, he pulled open one of the drawers and took out a large glass, larger than his usual one. He also took out a bottle of brandy, one that he'd had aged for twenty years. There were a number of bottles of brandy in a storage building in the Work Quarters, each a year apart in age, which he had lined up for just this purpose.
Uncorking the brandy, he held the bottle over the glass and shut his eyes. "Wagnard, the Dark Magician, who died during the First Dragon War," he said. He then poured a small amount of brandy into the glass.
"Gaia the Fierce Knight, who went mad during the Second Dragon War and died in 5178," he said, pouring more brandy into the glass. He did this with each name he spoke. "Inspector F-221-V, Total Defense Shogun, the first cop to ever make Inspector, who died in 4312. Inspector Zedar, Blast Magician, the man who caught the Great Phantom Thief, who disappeared in 5012. Detective I-086-C, Mataza the Zapper, instrumental in solving over a hundred murder cases, who died in 3910. Detective E-433, Dawnbreak Guardna, key to keeping peace in the Rock Habitation Quarters for four centuries, who died in 3699..."
With each name, the glass filled up just a little bit more. And with each name he spoke, memories floated through Dupin's mind. The smirk on Wagnard's face when he was teasing Saint Joan (who wasn't dead, and thus not in his reverie, but who had left for the Higher Plane as Guardian Angel Joan millenia ago); the sheer joy Gaia took in battle; F-221-V's dry sense of humor; Zedar's habit of eating roasted almonds when he was patrol; I-086-C's voice singing an old folk song; E-433 breaking up one of many arguments in the hallway.
As long as he could remember all of these things, Dupin thought to himself as he finished speaking the names, the monsters he had worked with over the years would never really die.
Setting the brandy down, Dupin held up the glass. "Most people don't remember who you are anymore. You're all old stories in books and paintings in the halls. But I still remember all of you, and I remember how much I enjoyed knowing you when you were alive. So let me say it to you, like I do every year." He paused, and sighed. "Happy All Shadow's Beginning. This is for you."
He took a long, quiet sip from the glass, and then left it on the table. There was no one else in the room, but at the moment, he did not feel alone.
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-Thirty-one minutes after seven in the morning, fifth day of the second month, 4939-
In the Low-Level Zombie Habitation Quarters, two monsters were on the morning patrol, making their way along the crumbling streets and shaking the protection money out of what shopkeepers were still in the district. The smarter of the two, a Tiger Axe, kept his Ookazi gun at the ready, while the Opticlops following him tumbled an Energy Drain cube between his fingers.
Neither of them were ready for a Queen's Double to suddenly tumble out of the doorway of a condemned bookstore, but that was what happened. She pitched into the street and rolled in front of them, curling into a terrified ball and whimpering.
The Opticlops was the first to recover, tapping his foot against her. The smaller monster shivered, and he grunted, "Huh... Newcomer. Lookit how short this 'un is."
"She's a Queen's Double, Exgee," the Tiger Axe said in reply. "They're always short." He then looked closer at her and muttered, "Still, she's short even by their standards. Let's see... Aura says her number is RT-341."
RT-341 moved a little away from them, her eyes shut tight and her head buried in her arms.
"She ain't gonna do any good," Exgee (XG-67-F) said, poking the little warrior and watching her twitch. "Let's just kill her and get it over with. It'd happen sooner or later anyway."
The Tiger Axe grinned and pointed his Ookazi gun at her, undoing the safety. "I could use some target practice anyway."
That was when a pair of powerful hands grabbed the two patroller's heads and drove them together, sending up a sound like a Patroid hitting a wall at sixty miles an hour. The two monsters swayed for a moment before crashing to the ground.
"Morons," their attacker said. It was a Dark Balter the Terrible, en route to the train station, and he spat on his unconscious subordinates as he stepped over them. "What has Ha Des told you? You never kill new monsters. It cuts our prospective customer base."
As he came up to the little Queen's Double, she looked up, let out a squeak and tried to scramble away. Balter (they were all called Balter) scooped her up and began to rock her, stroking her hair. "Calm down, little one," he said, looking into her eyes and speaking softly. "You're in good hands. I'm not like those idiots. I don't hurt the helpless."
RT-341 shivered a bit, but then leaned against his chest, mouthing a few words - it sometimes took new monsters a while to pick up Shadow Realm Prime.
"There we go," Balter said, heading for the train station with her in his arms. "You picked a bad spot to emerge in, you know that?"
The Dark Balter the Terrible never let go of her until they reached the Beginner's Hall. It got him some very strange looks on the train, started a number of rumors in the Fiend Living Quarters and made the papers the next day as a "golden moment" story. Once she got a living assignment in the Low-Level Warrior and Beast-Warrior Living Quarters, he pulled a few strings to learn her phone number and kept in very close touch with her.
Contrary to what some monsters thought, when Ophelia got onto the Shadow Council, it was not with the backing of the Ha Des Business Syndicate, but Balter did make the offer.
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-Midnight, twenty-first day of the twelfth month, 5179-
Throughout the Central Shadow Realm, every clock throughout the city clicked twelve. A thousand bells rang, one after the other after the other, sounding twelve times and reverberating throughout the city. Everywhere in the city, it was clear that a new day had begun. But this was not the usual sort of day.
Balter smiled, one hand stroking his charge's head as he set her back on the ground. "I can say this officially now," he said. "Happy All Shadow's Beginning."
"And Happy All Shadow's Beginning to you, too, Uncle Balter," Ophelia replied, hugging his legs. "How's work going?"
"Eh, we've had some issues lately. Some young punks have decided it would be fun to cut into the traffic for Poison of the Old Man, and it's taking a lot of time and effort to convince them that isn't a smart move. Then there was a police crackdown in the Aqua, Fish and Sea Serpent Living Quarters; they got our hydroponics guys, so we can't make our bootleg magic cubes as cheap as we could..." Balter sighed. "How about you? They let you vote on something of worth yet?"
Ophelia sighed as well, leaning on him. "That would require them to think of me in serious terms, and they aren't willing to do that yet. I still think everyone puts earplugs in when I start talking. I mean, I've tried to make the speeches less boring, but they still don't seem to care."
"Keep trying," Balter said, patting her head. "You know you've got a lot of people in your corner."
"Forget my 'corner'. I could have people marching through the streets and they probably still wouldn't care."
Chuckling, Balter took hold of her shoulder and walked along, heading towards a certain, nondescript storefront. "Ophelia, you're what, two hundred years old? You have to remember that just about everyone else on the Council is better than twice that age. After five hundred years or so, monsters stop giving a damn. Ha Des is what, five thousand or so? You try getting him to see from your perspective one of these days. It's like asking him to use you for his dinette set."
Even though she questioned why they were walking up to a boarded-up building, Ophelia just listened. She had never managed to interrupt Uncle Balter when he got going on a topic.
"The real trick," the fiend went on, "is building up your arsenal. Do things for people that they'll have to pay you back for, and when you really need it, you'll have a set of favors to call in. The trick to this city is to have a good sense of when to call those favors in. For example, I know a Cyber Magician who can't gamble worth a damn, but who can't bring himself to stop. It seems that I have to renegotiate his debt for him once a week..."
At that point, the Dark Balter the Terrible knocked thrice, twice, and then thrice again on the boards over the door, and a magic cube came into view. He pressed it, opening a shimmering blue gate.
"Last time I got his ass out of the fire, he set me up with a Monster Gate," Balter finished.
The Queen's Double looked into the gate, and then up to her benefactor's face, asking, "Where are we going?"
"The best place in the city," the fiend said as they walked through the gate.
The Monster Gate's other end opened, and the Dark Balter the Terrible stepped out, the Queen's Double following him. She looked around, trying to work out where they were.
In all directions, she could see only a peaceful, quiet field. Corn stalks twice her size stood in orderly rows, ears of corn jutting from each one. To her right sat a long line of tomato vines wrapped around long poles, and beyond them sat broccoli and cauliflower, with what she thought was a potato field nestled between the two. Greenhouses lined the edge behind her, various fruits barely visible within them.
Ophelia looked up to Balter again, clearly confused. "The Farm Towers?" she asked. "This is the 'best place in the city'?"
"Well, not when you're directly in the middle," Balter replied, leading her along. "It's over..." And he stopped. "Here."
At that point, they were standing on the edge, and Ophelia, as those on the edge of tall places are wont to do, looked down.
The Farm Towers broke the cloud barrier, and so the rain only fell below. Down below, everything was so small as to barely exist. The Council Upper Quarter had only one spark of light within it, the CSRPD building; all the rest was darkness. The Council Lower Quarter sprawled out behind it, lights blazing all along the surface like a halo around the Upper Quarter. She turned to either direction, and could see long chains of light throughout all the different living quarters. At the farthest end, she could see the Work Quarter glowing like a distant fire.
Ophelia's eyes went wide, and all she could say was a muttered, "Oh, my Gods..."
"The best part is that this still isn't the best place in the city," Balter said, hand on her shoulder - there was a sturdy railing around the edge, but as Ophelia had to prop herself on it to see clearly, she was still in a little danger. "There's one more element."
"What would that be?" the Queen's Double asked, letting herself drop. Then she saw someone coming.
Even if she hadn't long since memorized this Kagemusha of the Blue Flame's aura, she would have known who it was. He didn't carry a weapon, unlike all the rest of his kind; he kept that in his apartment. He wore a silk sash around his waist, and his expressin was always faintly embarassed, unlike all the rest of his ilk.
"Hey, Ophelia," the Kagemusha of the Blue Flame said, handing her a large closed box. He blushed a little as he did.
Reaching out, Ophelia took the box, and then gripped her boyfriend's waist very tightly. "Reynald!"
"Happy All Shadow's Beginning," he said in reply, holding her gently. "Go on... open it."
The Queen's Double disengaged, and then flipped open the box.
Inside sat three things. One was a magic cube, its aura registering as a Heart of Clear Water. The other two were silver bracelets, studded with rubies and sized perfectly for her wrists.
Ophelia nearly dropped the box; Balter took it from her and handed the bracelets to Reynald, who slid them onto her wrists. She stammered for a few seconds, and then pulled him down to her and kissed him hard, clinging to his chest.
"And now," Balter said, unnoticed, "this is the best place in the city."
There is little in the Central Shadow Realm that can truly be called beautiful. It is a city of prejudice and dead ends, of pain and struggle. What beauty there is must be protected fiercely.
But on All Shadow's Beginning, everything, in a way, becomes beautiful. It is the day honoring the very act of creation, honoring all life and all land. Conflict seems to fade away, and the facts of life in the Shadow Realm dissipate, replaced with peace and harmony, if only for one day and night.
So it is in the Shadow Realm, and in all places life flourishes.
To all those in this world and any other... Have a beautiful, joyful holiday. No matter what it is.
END
-Twelve minutes after five in the evening, twenty-first day of the twelfth month-
"We thank the Gods for what we are about to receive..."
"Hold on a minute, Don. Cliff's head isn't bowed."
"Cliff? Something the matter?"
...I could have been at Club R right now chatting up an Invader of the Throne... Why am I here?
"Gorg, hit him."
WHAM!
"...sorry."
"Now where was I? Oh, right... We thank the Gods for what we about to receive..."