(A/N) This story is dedicated to Hokata Yuy for writing the best ShikaTayu story up to date. Happy Holidays!
I had originally intended this to be a one-shot but unfortunately, I like to be able to squeeze three very important things when writing AU; Beginning - Plot - Ending. These three things are the fundamental things of writing and I find it hard to include everything when writing and AU one-shot which is why this will be a multi-chapter.
Disclaimer: All the characters of Naruto are copyrighted property of Kishimoto-sensei. I would like to take credit for the plot and scenario of this story but alas, claiming copyright is a troublesome thing to do.
Merry Christmas
December 24
Christmas. To Christian Catholics and Protestants, this was a holiday where you celebrated the birth of Jesus Christ. To the Pagans, Christmas was a festival to celebrate the coming of Yuletide. To the people of Japan, it was merely a pleasant time of the year when people traded gifts and ate cake together, sort of like a second birthday. To Nara Shikamaru, Christmas was nothing more than a major pain in the ass. He didn't mind the spirit of Christmas, of course. He enjoyed the decorations just as much as any other guy and people being happy and wishing everybody around them luck or something like that was generally a good thing.
Christmas shopping, the bustling crowds that always came with the former, relatives and friends who nagged at him to join in on the festivities, snow and extreme cold were however not good, in Shikamaru's opinion. He was never one to do a lot of shopping but his conscience had an annoying tendency of telling him to at least buy something for the people close to him. This meant that he had to take a subway train packed with other late Christmas shoppers like himself all the way to Shinjuku and then walk around for hours to find what he thought his "loved ones" wanted and then take the train all the way back to his apartment along with several heavy bags. Nothing short of troublesome.
His relatives and friends were even more troublesome. Of course, he'd go through the trouble of buying them gifts, he could handle that. However, he didn't understand why they wanted him to meet with them all at the same time every single year. He could easily ask someone to pick up all the gifts and deliver them to wherever the festivities were held but no, they wanted him to go there personally and spend time with them. The fact that he'd be forced to take a train even further than to Shinjuku and practically to the other side of Tokyo while carrying all the gifts made the ordeal all the more troublesome. Last year, he had managed to skip out of the little get-together with the excuse that he was too busy studying but that wouldn't work this year, seeing as he had already graduated university.
The young man suddenly shuddered as a gust of wind hit him, prompting him to pull his jacket a little tighter around himself. That was another thing he disliked about Christmas and winter in general; snow.
While others might like the slight change in scenery where the streets suddenly become coated in a fine layer of fluffy snow, Shikamaru would rather keep the summer-scenery around all year round. Gazing up at the dark evening sky, the young man gave a slight sigh as he thought of how the sky looked in the summer. Blue with several clouds spread out here and there. That was his ideal sky. In the winter however, he was faced with a sky that was almost constantly gray in color. He liked clouds, he really did, but there's no fun with them if you can't make them out as anything else other than a nation-covering, gray blanket.
The scenery reminded him of smoke, an enormous cloud of smoke blocking the view of the sky. The thought prompted another sigh from Shikamaru, seeing as smoke reminded him of cigarettes, something he was currently craving, which was why he was out and about in the cold weather on Christmas Eve on his way to the convenience store.
Shikamaru was a rather intelligent man but he didn't need even half of his wit to understand that smoking was a bad habit but he had his reasons for pursuing the poisonous fumes.
Finally, the small store loomed into view and the usually lazy man started to walk a little faster, figuring that the sooner he got his cigarettes, the sooner he would be back in the warmth of his apartment. Not even glancing at the homeless person sitting on a small chair right next to the entrance with a cap laid out in front of them, he marched right into the store.
He was a man on a mission; he could deal with bums on another occasion.
He suppressed a groan when he realized that there was a fairly long line to the counter, meaning he would have to wait still. Opting for a sigh instead, he figured he could at least take in the warmth of the convenience store. It was definitely better than being out in the cold. He started scanning the shelves lining the small isles, deciding that he might as well check for anything else he might need seeing as he was there. Walking down one of the isles, he quirked an eyebrow as he noticed a small display of Christmas cakes. A little late for that, he thought, considering it was already Christmas Eve. 'Must be leftover merchandise.'
Scratching the back of his head, he thought about it for a few moments before he plucked one of the small boxes from the display, thinking that he might as well. He looked around some more but found nothing of immediate interest so he took up residence at the end of the now slightly shorter line.
Shortly thereafter, he accepted his change and a small bag filled with his merchandise. He almost breathed a sigh of relief as he exited the store, greeted by the tunes of a flute. He gave a small smirk, feeling like laughing at himself. The homeless person had been playing the flute all along and he had been too caught up in his nicotine addiction to even notice it, despite the music being anything but quiet. Heck, he had even heard the sound of the flute inside the store but hadn't paid it any attention.
Shaking his head at how dulled his senses were becoming, he dropped the change the clerk had given him into the cap lying in front of the flute-playing bum as he passed him, thinking that he should probably try and cut down on the cigarettes just a little.
"Hey, shithead!" Said a woman's voice as he walked off, already opening one of the cigarette packets he had bought. So much for cutting down. "Hey, I'm talking to you!"
He thought the woman was talking to someone else and so he kept walking…until somebody caught him by the shoulder that is, forcing him to turn around and come face to face with the bum he just handed his change to.
He blinked at her, seeing her face for the first time. With her baggy, torn clothes and her long, greasy red hair hanging into her face like that, he had at first thought that she was a man.
His senses really were becoming dull.
"Fucker! You think you can just laugh at my music and then fucking ignore me?" She looked rather angry. Her face, flushed by the cold, looked kind of funny when coupled with her red hair.
"Huh?" Shikamaru blinked dumbly at her, not following her accusations one bit. He may have been smart but he never did understand women.
The redhead pushed him, almost sending him to the ground. She was about an inch or so shorter than him and a bit on the skinny side, judging by the way her clothes were practically hanging off her frame, but she obviously wasn't a weakling and judging by her temper, she was packing quite the personality. "Don't fucking play dumb with me, you shitty rat! You were fucking smirking at me back there!" She glared fiercely at him as she grabbed him by the front of his jacket, her other hand holding her flute so hard that Shikamaru thought it might snap in two. "If you've got any complaints about my music then say it, shithead!"
Shikamaru was steadily getting annoyed by her attitude, which was evident in his twitching eyebrow. Heaving a sigh, he grabbed her hand and forced her to let go of him, "I wasn't smirking at you, I was just thinking about something funny." He turned around to leave, muttering, "Go back to playing your Christmas carols, troublesome woman."
He heard her making an angry sound, somewhere between a growl and a snarl, "Ah! You weren't even listening, were you?!" She called to him furiously, causing Shikamaru to rub his forehead tiredly. He just wanted to go home without a fuss but the homeless girl apparently had other ideas. "Hey! Wait the fuck up!" She ran past him and positioned herself in front of him, now donning the cap she was using earlier to let generous people drop their change in. "Don't fucking walk off like that, you fucker!"
Sighing at her colorful language, Shikamaru veered past her but she kept up with him, now walking backwards so she could glare at him with full force, "What do you want?" He asked in annoyance.
She narrowed her eyes at him and he half-expected her to hiss her reply at him but her voice actually got louder instead, giving her the appearance of a spoiled child, "I want a fucking apology!"
He didn't really understand why he should apologize to her but as stated before, he never did understand women, even less so their logic, so with a roll of his eyes, he grumbled out, "Fine, fine, I apologize now leave me alone."
She gritted her teeth, apparently not satisfied, "You fag-fucker! You're supposed to mean what you say!" He had thought he meant what he said but apparently, his annoyed face had told her otherwise.
He rubbed his temples in annoyance before pulling out a cigarette, hoping for the smoke to make the girl go away or at least rid him of his upcoming headache. If he was lucky, both his wishes might come true.
"Hey! Are you fucking listening, you fuckhead?" She growled at him, shattering his hopes of the smoke driving her off.
His left eyebrow twitching in irritation, Shikamaru took a slow drag of his cancer-stick before turning to face the girl who was now trudging along next to him, having nearly tripped over her own legs when she walked backwards. "Don't you have anything better to do other than making my life hell?"
The girl gave a roll of her eyes that almost reminded Shikamaru of himself. "Oh, sure! In fact, I need to run off home to my wealthy family and order the maids around to do the dishes and prepare for a Christmas party tomorrow!" Her voice was dripping with so much sarcasm that Shikamaru actually winced. He should have known better than to ask a homeless person that kind of question. He would probably have felt bad about it if the girl wasn't so very much like a rash; the more you scratch it, the worse it gets.
Digging into his pocket, he pulled out a few bills and thrust them at her, hoping to bribe her away, "Here. Buy yourself something to eat and leave me alone."
For a second, the fiery redhead looked like she might accept the money but then her expression turned vicious once more, "Fuck you!" She slapped his hand away, sending the bills drifting off in the wind. Shikamaru almost felt like scolding her for wasting money like that but he felt that it would be too troublesome, "I don't need your fucking pity, asshole!"
Shikamaru gave another sigh of irritation, really starting to find this girl annoying, more so than when she first called out to him, that is, "Fine, don't buy yourself something to eat. At least leave me alone." He picked up his pace, now having another reason to get home quickly, other than the cold air.
His words were like fingers and the girl was the rash being scratched by those fingers, "Fuck you!" She was baring her fangs at him, matching her strides with his perfectly as she glared furiously at him, "Asshole! Shithead! Faggot!" She kept throwing insults at him at a rapid pace, swearing like a drunken sailor.
Shikamaru figured that if she was indeed a rash, then he should just ignore her and she'll eventually go away.
How wrong he was.
She was still throwing insult after insult at him when they reached his apartment house; a simple three story building with a staircase on one end leading to the upper levels. Shikamaru felt a small flicker of hope. Once he walked through the door to his apartment, he'd be free of the red-headed menace. His cigarette had burnt out a while ago and neither the girl nor his headache had gone away. His luck was really looking bad but at least his home would provide him with a wall that she couldn't pass through.
To his obvious displeasure, she actually followed him up the stairs and by now she seemed to be running out of direct insults, seeing as she'd started with the old cliché of insulting his mother instead.
By the time he reached the door leading to his salvation, she was practically breathing down his neck, leading him to believe that his home might not provide the sanctuary he so wished for. No doubt, she would stay outside the very door now facing him for hours to come, spouting her insults and other obscenities.
He rested his forehead tiredly against the door and closed his eyes, contemplating the idea of calling the police so that they might rid him of his problem. No, that would bring more problems than solutions. He knew how the police worked, there would be routine questions given to him, the one giving them the call, and that would take time, time he'd rather spend sleeping.
No, he needed a solution now. His mind was already working overtime thinking up scenario after scenario of approaches he could take and countless responses he might receive from the girl that had bypassed his earlier ideas. He nearly swore out loud when he couldn't think of something that would rid him of her immediately. When playing shougi, he could predict his opponent's moves while still planning several different strategies. He had never met someone who was good enough to beat him at the game yet. The problem was, when playing a game there were rules which restricted the players' movements and that made it easier for Shikamaru to plan ahead but when he was dealing with a person there were countless of different things that might happen. Of course, there were different probabilities that he could rank his solutions after but this girl had proven to be rather unpredictable.
"Hey! Why the fuck are you-!" The girl's sentence was suddenly cut off by a loud rumbling noise. At first, Shikamaru thought that a very large amount of snow had just slid down the roof but then he realized it was the girl's stomach growling. Looking over his shoulder at her, he found her standing there with a blush on her cheeks and her hands on her belly, glaring angrily at him as if daring him to make fun of her.
One of his most unlikely to succeed ideas pushed itself to the front of his mind, encouraging him to give a sigh and hold his plastic bag out for the girl, the bag still containing his cake, "Here, I don't really like cake anyway." He was almost eighty percent sure that she would react just like she did when he offered her his money but he figured that he should try. Maybe offering her food directly would be too tempting for her to resist.
She blinked at him, her glare softening ever so slightly but it was still there. Slowly, she accepted the bag and peeked inside it. He could have sworn that she grinned in a giddy manner as she saw the small box inside but when she looked up her face was completely blank save for a small frown on her lips.
Quirking an eyebrow, he asked her, "What? You don't like strawberries?" He tried very hard not to let the corners of his lips curl into a small smile.
Her glare returned full force, "Who the fuck doesn't like strawberries?" She growled, reaching into the bag to pull out the box containing the cake. Shaking it around a little in front of her, not enough to ruin the cake but still enough to make a point as she complained, "I can't just fucking eat it with my fingers, asshole!"
This time, both his eyebrows shot up and Shikamaru actually gave a small chuckle. For a bum, she was surprisingly aware of hygiene, "Troublesome woman." Turning back to the door, he unlocked the door and stepped inside. "Wait here, I'll donate a spoon."
Practically in a fit of joy because he would soon be left alone, he kicked his shoes off and threw his jacket off to the side. Shikamaru's apartment was rather big and well-furnished, not exactly looking like the home of a bachelor just out of university. Then again, he had been pretty quick to get a job so it wasn't that much of a surprise that he'd found an apartment with a living room, a bedroom a small but functional western-style kitchen and even a small walk-in closet. Hell, he even had a shower in the bathroom. He shuddered as he remembered the time before graduation, living in that small room with neither kitchen nor shower. He had been forced to make a rather long trip to the bath house every other day.
He rummaged around the kitchen, grumbling as he dug through all the many different utensils. His former girlfriend had insisted that he bought everything that could be of use in a kitchen, never mind the fact that he preferred instant ramen and other fast food over direct cooking, saying that it was less troublesome to prepare. But nay, she wanted to be able to cook for him every time she came over, even though they could just as easily eat out.
He shook off the memory of the troublesome woman, pushing her memory into the 'past' section of his mind where it belonged as he finally found what he was looking for. To anyone else, it might look like a regular tea-spoon, but to Shikamaru it was a key; a key that would open the door to his ideal evening. It would bring him peace, quiet and-
"Heeeeh, you've got a pretty nice place here, for a shithead."
Shikamaru's brow twitched and he sincerely hoped that her voice had not been so close to him as it sounded. Slowly turning his head, he looked out into the living room to see the redheaded girl look around his home with what appeared to be great interest. "I thought I told you to wai-"
"Ohhh, presents!" His sentence was cut in half like a badly cooked noodle by her almost happy-sounding voice. Snickering to herself, the irritating woman started to dig through the bags in which he kept his newly bought Christmas presents, even taking out a particularly large box and shaking it, trying to identify the contents by the sound.
Shikamaru gave a displeased frown, not exactly enjoying her barging in like that, "Hey, don't just go rummaging through other people's things."
She turned to him with a glare and a slight pout which looked very out of place on a rough-looking girl like her, "Don't be such a fucking prude, it's not like I'm gonna open it."
Shikamaru sighed, palming his face, "Look here, you-"
Again, he was cut off, "Whoa, nice computer!" She dropped the present she had just been inspecting and walked over to what he considered to be his 'office area'. How she had managed to not notice the computer when she first entered the apartment was a mystery to Shikamaru. Inspecting the flat-screen monitor with a slight grin, she threw another comment at him before he could speak, "Heh, you must be pretty loaded if you can afford high-tech stuff like this."
The young man resisted the urge to slap his own face. Only an amateur would judge a computer's price and performance by the monitor. "Listen, just take the spoon and the cake and get out of he-"
"What the fuck? A suit?" She had walked into his bedroom and was now peeking into his walk-in closet, staring at his business suit with what appeared to be mocking glee. "What? Are you one of those office slaves who do the same thing day in and day out? Fucking pathetic!" She gave a laugh, now going about prodding his bed, as if testing if the softness was to her tastes. Shikamaru dearly hoped she wouldn't try lying down on it.
Eyebrow twitching in irritation, he walked out of the kitchen with the spoon in his hand, the very spoon that was supposed to have easily brought an end to all this, "I don't want to hear that from a street-bum. Besides, I'm not an office worker, I work from home." Rubbing his temples, he gave another small sigh, "I only wear the suit when I'm meeting with clients and stuff."
Looking up from her investigation of his bed, she blinked owlishly at him, "Clients?"
Crossing his arms, Shikamaru leaned his back against the doorframe to the bedroom, looking equally as annoyed as he felt, "I'm a private investigator. I guess you could call me a detective."
The girl raised an eyebrow, smirking in a skeptical manner, "What? Like that Sherlock Holmes guy?"
Giving a slight smirk in response, Shikamaru shrugged, "Something like that, though it's not like I get to solve many big crimes like Sherlock. I usually just help clients with juridical stuff, like a lawyer. I've helped the police with a few small-time jobs, helped one or two clients find some missing family member but that's it, I don't get to work that much but that's fine by me." He blinked. Why the hell was he telling her all this? Telling her stuff about himself meant that he would be an acquaintance of hers and he did not want that.
She scrunched up her face, her eyes narrowing as she looked down a little, seemingly deep in thought, "A lawyer?" The look on her face and her questioning voice almost made Shikamaru want to smirk and ask her if she actually knew what a lawyer was but he decided that instead of provoking her again, he should try once more to get rid of her.
"Yeah. I'm not officially a lawyer but I've got the education of one. Thanks to that, I know just what laws you're currently breaking by trespassing in my home and what kind of punishment you'd receive if I called the police, which I will unless you get out of-"
"What's your name?" She asked him as if he hadn't even spoken.
Knowing each other's names meant they'd really become acquaintances so Shikamaru tried to steer clear of having to answer, "My name shouldn't be of any interest to you, seeing as you're leaving. Now." He held the spoon out for her to take and jerked his head towards the bag with the cake she had left in the living room. He was really getting tired of her company, longing for solitude.
She glared defiantly at him and he expected her to start cursing at him again but instead, she surprised him by saying, "I'm Tayuya." She said it as if telling him her name meant that he was obliged to tell her his. "Now tell me your fucking name."
Shikamaru glared back at her tiredly, wanting nothing more than to just throw her out but she had really struck gold by telling him her name. She might not know it but Shikamaru had been brought up to at least try to be polite, even though he rarely succeeded. When someone tells you their name, you tell them yours; those were the words currently nagging at him in his head. His mother had done her best to beat a little mannerism into him and as much as he wanted to refuse the girl's, Tayuya's demand, he found himself answering with a loud sigh, "Nara Shikamaru, now get out."
Tayuya raised an eyebrow, "Nara?" She smirked and Shikamaru instantly knew what was going through her head, "'Shika'…maru?" Here it comes, Shikamaru thought with a groan.
The annoying woman burst out laughing, clutching her sides, "A-A d-deer from…Nara!" She slumped down on his bed, practically laughing her ass off in the literal meaning.
Shikamaru reached up to rub his forehead, feeling his headache intensifying. It was bad enough that the first part of his given name meant 'deer' but to have a family name that's the same as a prefecture famous for their wild deer herds made the matter all the more troublesome. This wasn't the first time someone had made fun of his name but he was sure it wouldn't be the last time either. That didn't really provide much comfort though.
"If you're done laughing then get out of here, I'm tired." He turned to leave the bedroom, thinking of getting himself something for his headache.
With his back turned, he failed to see the grin on the girl's face as she replied in a surprisingly cheeky manner, "Hell no."
The young man hung his head, feeling defeated for some reason. He heaved a heavy sigh, "And why not?" Even as he asked that, he felt Tayuya brush past him. She threw her large and dirty jacket on his couch, revealing a torn red t-shirt that looked to be three sizes too big for her.
"You really wanna throw a poor girl like me out in the cold?" She asked innocently as she grabbed the plastic bag from the floor and headed into the kitchen. Well, as innocently as someone as foul-mouthed as her could, at least.
"Yes, I do." Shikamaru answered without missing a beat, following her into the kitchen where he found her sitting by the table, a fork in her hand and a smirk on her face.
"Heh, too fucking bad, 'cause I'll be spending the night here, whether you like it or not." She opened the small box containing the cake and stared down at it with hungry eyes, "Tough luck, shithead."
Shikamaru couldn't stop himself anymore. With a loud groan, her turned around and walked straight over to the opposite wall in the living room and started to bang his head against the wall, the sound of his head connecting drowning out the sound of Tayuya's snickers.
After a few minutes of constantly banging his head against the wall, he stopped and just leaned his forehead against the surface of the wall tiredly. Ironically, it had helped cure his headache and clear his head. He knew that the best course of action would be to call the police, that way he could at least get rid of the annoying nuisance who called herself a woman. The biggest problem with that idea was that he had no illusions about the girl at this point; he knew that she would raise hell if someone tried to remove her from there against her will.
He almost felt like crying over his dilemma but he refrained from doing so. Men don't cry and Shikamaru was a man, hence he would not cry.
He looked down at the spoon in his hand, glaring at it angrily. It had been his key to salvation but it had failed him. With a grunt, he threw the spoon over his shoulder and headed for the bathroom, thinking that a shower might make him feel better. He didn't bother with worrying about whether the girl would try to steal anything. He simply didn't care anymore. Besides, the only thing directly worth stealing in his apartment was his computer and he was pretty sure that she didn't want to carry something that heavy around. She might steal the presents of course, but that would be fine with him, that way he had an excuse for not showing up at the get-together tomorrow.
He spent a good thirty minutes simply standing in the shower, letting the water slide off his body as if hoping that it would wash away his problems. Maybe if he stayed in there long enough, the girl would just pick something easy to steal and then 'escape', effectively leaving him alone and blissful. Of course, he knew better than to believe that and so, with a sigh, he turned off the water and started to dry himself off with a towel.
When he left the bathroom, dressed in a simple t-shirt and a pair of shorts, he looked around almost suspiciously. As far as he could tell, everything was still where it was supposed to be. In other words, she hadn't stolen anything from the living room and he didn't keep anything of value in neither the kitchen nor the bedroom. It was safe to say that she hadn't stolen anything at all.
So why the hell was it so blissfully quiet?
Figuring that he'd be stupid if he thought that she'd left, he walked over to the kitchen door and peeked inside. He was met with a widely grinning, flushed face mere inches away from his own, "Hey, fucktard…" Shikamaru nearly stumbled backwards as Tayuya's breath hit him, reeking of alcohol. "You were in there for a damn long time. What? Were you 'pleasuring' yourself or something?" She gave a snicker, wobbling a little as Shikamaru leaned back with a grimace, "Fucking pervert…"
Looking past her, Shikamaru confirmed his suspicions. On the table stood the sake bottle he had received at least a month prior as a thank you gift from one of his clients. It looked like she had drained quite a bit of its contents already.
Apparently still sober enough to be observant, Tayuya raised a glass full of the beverage in front of her as she spoke, "What? The cake made me thirsty…"
Shikamaru sighed, rubbing his temples, "So you decided on the only alcoholic drink I have instead of juice, water or coffee?" If a foul-mouthed, homeless, trespassing woman was troublesome then a foul-mouthed, homeless, trespassing woman who was also a drunk was probably the equivalent to hell on earth.
Tayuya gave him a look of boredom, her eyes lidded halfway as she shook her glass back and forth. Shikamaru was surprised that she didn't spill a single drop, "Hey, it's not like you can't buy more of it. Shit, this is just some cheap crap, you know." Even though she said that, she seemed to enjoy the taste of that 'cheap crap' when she proceeded to gulp down half the contents of her glass, letting out a long breath afterwards, "Not even good enough to wash away my problems."
Rolling his eyes, Shikamaru stepped past her and into the kitchen. He refused to acknowledge the fact that he had tried to 'wash away' his own problems mere minutes earlier, though with a more sober method. "Tch, if you're gonna freeload off me then you could at least ask for permission before doing so." He picked up the bottle, contemplating for a second if maybe he should pour some for himself. His lapse of judgment didn't last long and so he put the bottle back in the fridge where it belonged.
Tayuya snickered, leaning drunkenly against the table, "What? You mean you wanted me to stick my head into the shower so I could ask for 'permission' before drinking?" She laughed, waving a hand in front of her face, "Sorry but I don't want my innocence ruined."
"What innocence?" Shikamaru asked with a roll of his eyes, "If you mean the kind of innocence you'll find in kind, pure-hearted girls then I think you must have been skipping school while they were handing it out to the good students."
He headed out into the living room, intent on going to bed. Drunk or sober, he didn't want to deal with that troublesome woman anymore. Before he could even reach his bedroom, however, he felt something heavy strike him in the back and at the same time he heard Tayuya yelling out a loud and slurry, "Fuck you!" He hit the floor hard and gritted his teeth, wincing as he tried to roll over so he could get up. The second he was on his back though, he found himself pinned to the floor by the drunken redhead, who glared down at him.
"Just 'cause I'm drunk doesn't mean I can't kick your ass, you shitty rat!" She yelled at him, sitting straight up as she straddled his waist. Her expression turned less fierce and her head kept tilting from side to side, her eyes suddenly unfocused.
Shikamaru sincerely hoped she didn't have to puke, "R-Right, I get it, now get off of me." He didn't like the idea of having his face covered in barf; that would mean he would have to take another shower and that would be troublesome.
She narrowed her eyes and tried to glare at him though it was a little hard to do seeing as her eyes kept flicking around, "Hey…don't fucking tell me what to do…" She leaned down, putting her face dangerously close to his. Shikamaru was once again subjected to her alcoholic breath attack and he was trying hard not to grimace, thinking that he might provoke her, "You're…a lawyer, right?" She asked him unexpectedly.
"Huh?" Shikamaru blinked, some of the girl's hair tickling his face.
She frowned angrily when he failed to answer her question, "You said that before…didn't you? You're…like a lawyer…" She was swaying from side to side, looking like she was riding a horse and in the danger of falling off, "I've got a job for ya…" She mumbled.
Shikamaru managed to raise an eyebrow in response to her unexpected announcement, "A job?" He'd met strange clients in the past, everything from jealous wives who wanted him to follow their husbands and catch them in the act of cheating to kids who wanted him to find a lost pet but this was the first time he'd been approached by a homeless girl.
She nodded, though it looked more as if she was trying to make her own neck snap, "Uh-huh…" She tilted her head to the side and peered at him through lidded eyes, as if she was trying her outmost to read his expression.
Shikamaru gave a mental groan, his eyebrow twitching. There was one thing he needed to ask before finding out what the 'job' entailed and he was pretty sure he wouldn't receive a good response, "And…how are you planning on paying?" He didn't need his high IQ to guess that the girl pinning him to the floor was just a little short on money.
The girl in question gave a grin so sly Shikamaru almost expected her to sink her fangs into his throat. Giving a low snicker, she leaned down even further, her forehead resting against his, "Your pay will be…me leaving. Until you're done with the job, I'm staying…"
Shikamaru felt his world crumbling around him. 'Staying', that word was echoing through his head so loudly he felt like his skull was going to split. She was staying? As in, staying here? She'd be staying with him in his apartment until he finishes her so-called job?
"H-Hold on a min-!" There was no way he would agree to the job, he didn't even need to hear the details regarding what he'd be required to do, the thought of having to deal with this woman for an unknown amount of time was enough for him to turn her down, "There's no wa-"
She cut him off by placing her palm over his mouth, effectively silencing him as she glared directly into his eyes, "If you won't do it then I'll just be living here for the rest of my life."
She was blackmailing him…and she was enjoying it. Somehow, she knew just how irritating her presence was to Shikamaru and now she was using it to her advantage. This was why women were so troublesome. In Shikamaru's eyes, they were all manipulative bitches. His only option now really was calling the cops but something, a little voice in the back of his head, told him that something as silly as police-officers wouldn't be enough to stop her from making his life a living hell.
As soon as she removed her hand from his mouth, he started to protest, "Hey, you-!"
Before he got to say anything else, Tayuya slumped against him, burying her face in the crook of his neck, mumbling in a way that made him shiver, "No arguments…" She shifted a little, one of her arms coming to rest around his neck.
Shikamaru paled when he realized that she was planning to sleep in this position, "H-Hey-!" He tried to push her off but as he did, the arm around his neck tightened uncomfortably and she refused to let go. Not in the mood for being choked, Shikamaru stopped trying to push her off. Soon enough, he felt her steady breathing on his neck and he was confident that she'd fallen asleep, prompting him to try and push her off again…and he received the same response as earlier.
Closing his eyes, he let out a defeated sigh, "Troublesome."
December 25
"Ino, are you sure this is such a good idea?" Chouji asked is old friend as he walked next to her, munching on some chips.
The girl in question turned to give him an annoyed look, "What are you talking about? Of course it is! What kind of friends would we be if we let Shikamaru laze around all alone on Christmas?"
Chouji scratched his head, trying not to smile, "Really good friends, considering how annoyed he gets during Christmas." He still held the memory of last year's incident close to heart; Shikamaru had practically barricaded the door to keep anyone from bothering him. Sure, he had decided to do some serious studying for once but that didn't mean that his mother would accept the fact that he wouldn't come home for Christmas without a fuss.
He had heard that Shikamaru still had nightmares about that. Seeing Nara Yoshino breaking through a door and practically foaming at the mouth could do that to a person.
Ino turned her nose up and harrumphed, "I promised his mom I'd make sure he went along with the get-together this year." Suddenly, she gave a smile. The way she could go from moody to cheery so quickly could be scary, "Besides, I'm his unofficial secretary; it's my job to take care of him!" Chouji was about to point out that she herself was the one who gave her that title and that Shikamaru always said he preferred to work alone but he wisely kept his mouth shut. "That lazy bum, I hope he's kept his apartment clean. I don't wanna end up cleaning up after him again." Ino grumbled.
Chouji chuckled, shaking his head, "Knowing Shikamaru, he's probably tried his best to keep the place as spotless as possible to keep you from nagging at him." He gave a full laugh, picturing his best friend frantically running around his apartment and cleaning dust with a toothbrush.
Ino glared at him for a moment but soon joined in with the laughter, knowing full well that Chouji was right. Even though she was busy laughing, she still slapped her friend's hand away as he tried to sneak it into her bag, no doubt trying to steal a quick sample of the cake she'd brought.
"Ow!" Chouji whined, rubbing his hand as he threw Ino a sad look, hoping to sway her conscience. It didn't work.
"Don't even try, Chouji. You got yours this morning, this is Shikamaru's share." Ino smirked and moved the bag to her other hand, out of reach from her gluttonous friend who whined.
"Aww, come one Ino, just a quick bite, Shikamaru won't notice."
Ino turned her face away, smirking in an almost satisfied way, "Nope, this is all Shikamaru's. Knowing him, he's probably been living off of cup ramen and instant curry or something equally bad for his health." She giggled, holding the bag to her chest, "What would he do without me, huh?"
Chouji raised an eyebrow at her, a teasing smile spreading across his plump face, "Heh, you're acting like a love-struck girl on Valentine's day, only that it's Christmas." He snickered, opening up a new bag of potato chips, now that his plans to sneak a taste of Shikamaru's cake were spoiled.
Ino blushed violently, her face beat red as she took a step away from Chouji as if afraid of him, "Wha-wha-wha-what're you saying, Chouji?" She forced a loud laugh, "M-Me and Shikamaru? No way!" She waved one of her perfectly manicured hands at him, as if batting away his comment, "Shikamaru and I are just friends, like you and me!"
Chouji chuckled, shaking his head, "Whatever you say, Ino." He turned to face her fully, grinning from ear to ear, "Oh, by the way, you do know that cake is just as unhealthy as cup ramen and instant curry, don't you?"
Chouji was nursing a lump on his head all the way to Shikamaru's apartment house.
When they finally reached the building, Ino rung the bell to Shikamaru's apartment and they both waited.
No answer.
Ino furrowed her brows, "That's weird." She tried knocking instead.
Chouji tilted his head and crossed his arms, a thoughtful look on his face, "Maybe he's out?" He looked down at his wristwatch, "It's already afternoon, after all." He didn't really believe that theory himself. Shikamaru never got up before noon if he could help it and it would then take several hours for him to leave his home if he was planning on doing something.
Looking annoyed, Ino started to bang her fist against the door, "Shikamaru! Up, up and awake!" Chouji couldn't help but snicker at the old 'hero-chant' Ino always used to shout whenever she went to wake Shikamaru as a kid. The three of them had been through a lot together, their families having been really close for generations.
Ino was getting impatient and so she tried the handle. The door swung open with a small 'click'. Ino looked at Chouji, surprised. Shikamaru was lazy, yes, but he always made it a point to lock his door whether he was home or not.
Shrugging, she pulled the door open fully and stepped inside, thinking that maybe he had forgotten something for once. "Shikamaru!" She called out cheerfully, kicking off her shoes as Chouji followed her inside. "Time to get-" She stopped dead in her tracks, the bag with Shikamaru's cake falling to the floor.
Chouji was about to scold her for being so careless with something so very edible but the he saw her reason for stopping so suddenly. On the floor in Shikamaru's living room lay two people, one being Shikamaru himself and the other being an unknown girl, all tangled up together.
Chouji suddenly noticed that Shikamaru's eyes were open and had very visible bags under them. He looked as if he had aged several years over night as he weakly uttered, "H-Hey…"
The girl taking up residence on top of him stirred, mumbling something about everyone being so noisy before she looked up, opening her bleary eyes.
She looked at the two newcomers who stared back at her. She blinked at them and they continued to stare at her. Suddenly, she broke out into a slight grin, Saying what she apparently thought as being the most appropriate thing to say, "Merry Christmas, fuckers."
(A/N) For those of you didn't understand the jibe about Shikamaru's name; it's a pun. His whole name is a pun. The first kanji in his name, Shika, means deer and Nara is a prefecture in Japan famous for having a herd of Sika deer.
While I am infamous for being late in updating, I feel I have gotten back in the loop of writing and so I will try to provide you with regular updates of this fic.