Author's Note: Wrote this for BonesBird on Tumblr. Decided to expand it a little bit and clean it up for posting.
The Columbia Program
"Tom Paris!" B'Elanna hissed, standing outside the holodeck. She ignored the curious looks that she got from the Delaney twins as they walked by. "If you are using that Columbia program, I am going to shove you out an airlock. It's not the same as masturbation, no matter what you try to claim!"
"What're you talking about?" Tom asked, popping up behind her.
She jumped. "If you're out here, then who is in there?"
Tom shrugged, his eyes twinkling mischievously, thinking he was about to bust his best friend for using the holodeck to have sex once again. They stepped inside only to hear a deep moan. "Oh, Erika. I love it when you touch me there, but you're in Jonathan's way. He has the magical touch. Oh, Jon-a-than!"
Tom and B'Elanna scurried away from Tuvok's latest fantasy before they were pulled in once again.