A/N: Set a few years after Aizen had been defeated

It was a Friday night. And Friday nights meant FNDS. FNDS? Well it stood for Friday Night Drinking Session(s). Yes, the 's' was necessary . Sometimes, one drinking party was not enough and the usual crew had to go for two or three in a row, hopping from bar to bar like a bunch of bees pollinating flowers. A sloppy and oddly mismatched bunch of bees indeed. The core group of drinkers, who would turn up almost without fail, were Matsumoto, Hisagi and Kira. Once in a while Renji, Kyoraku and Ukitake would join them. Owing to work and illnesses, their appearances were sporadic. The odd Shinigami might find himself dragged into their group if he wasn't careful, especially when Matusmoto felt that they needed more souls to liven things up. It was much to this group's surprise when Kuchiki Rukia of all people turned up at one of their usual bars one Friday night.

The Lieutenant of the 13th Squad sighed as she grabbed a chair. She ordered a bottle of sake, popped the cap and promptly and downed the contents. The present Shinigami traded looks. Rukia seldom drunk, and when she did, it was in small, controlled amounts. Seeing her down a bottle of the stronger stuff was down right alarming.

"Rukia-chan, what's up?" Matusmoto asked, pushing another bottle of the sake closer to her. Hisagi snorted. Matusmoto had an ear for gossip. Anything Matusmoto felt she needed to hear would probably sell well in the Seireitei Communications, especially if he got to it faster than the Shinigami Women's Association's monthly magazine...

Rukia sighed, downing a huge cup of sake, putting her head on the table with a loud conk. "Today," she declared, "was the worst day of my life!" Another sake bottle lost half its contents. Matusmoto and Hisagi leaned forward eagerly. Kira sighed. His buddies were really pieces of work.

"Is the world trying to test my endurance for bull today or what?" She whined, clumsily grasping for more sake to drown her sorrows.

"Were the new recruits that bad? I didn't meet mine, Taicho sent me to the World of the Living. He was ranting about me corrupting them or something." Matusmoto asked, digging for more.

"Don't even start. Ukitake-taicho was unwell today and I had to brief them..." She muttered, eyes closing at the horror of the morning.

The day had started out promisingly enough. 20 new recruits were waiting at the Division's main office. They were to be properly introduced and inducted into the place that would be home to them for many years to come.

The first thing she realized about the recruits, was that all of them were about to faint from excitement. They were bouncing off the walls while she needed a cup of super strong extra black coffee before she could properly begin the day. With the coffee machine broken down, she had to do without. She furrowed her eyebrows. Was there something she was missing? Pushing that thought aside, she rounded them off into one of the training halls and began her introduction speech.

Half way through, a pair of the newbies started giggling behind their hands. They were trying to conceal their mirth, but failing miserably. Well, she though dryly, we know why they aren't in the Second Squad. A quick look at their way was enough for them to sober up, and she continued her speech. Soon enough she reached the part she detested the most- warning them about respecting the captains and lieutenants of the Gotei 13. Her dislike for forcing the new recruits to respect her was showing on her face. Respect should be earned, not forced. But rules were rules and they were required to go through this; if not the more, ah, enthusiastic Shinigami might get the wrong idea. With a sigh, she began the well rehearsed speech.

"There are a few things to note when it comes to the Captains and Lieutenants-" She was soundly interrupted by none other than her red haired best friend crashing through one of the open windows, narrowly avoiding the newbies. He landed with a showy somersault and flashed her a grin. The Shinigami stared openly. More than a few females were whispering to each other, no doubt about the 6th Squad's Lieutenant. Rukia had to admit, he wasn't bad looking, but for him to have a group of die hard fans, the thought was hilarious.

"Renji! What the hell! I told you not to do that this year!" She sighed. Her patience wore thin as year after year, Renji found new and sometimes rather amusing ways to crash her lectures without fail. The previous year involved a hole in the roof. Prior to that year, he all but hid in one of the spaces underneath the hall and made ridiculous noises when she spoke, causing her to think she was hearing things.

"Shut up squirt. You're probably boring them with it. Sit down and let me help you out a bit yeah?" He said, a wink directed at the 20 wide-eyed students. Their response was enthusiastic. He grabbed the short Shinigami from behind and then placed a hand over her mouth, to the astonishment of her young charges. Were the Lieutenants so friendly with each other?

"Right. Some simple rules," he began, ignoring the squirming Rukia in his arms. The amount of respect she was commandeering was slipping out of her grasp. Crazy ass Renji. Can't anything get in his thick skull? She cursed soundly.

"Rule number one. Rukia here is your Lieutenant, so listen to her or you'd be at the receiving end of a stack of paper work. Hell, listen to anyone who ranks higher than you and hopefully you can spare yourself from the paperwork." Rukia kicked him in the shins but he still didn't let her go. That's not the way to do it! The newbies laughed at his warnings.

"Rule number two. If you joined this division, or any division so you can get close and personal with the captains or lieutenants, give up. Espcially if it's Rukia here." He said with a wicked grin, Zabimaru's polished sheath gleaming in the morning sun. Some of the guys paled. Oh how he loves terrorizing those Shinigami who think the world of themselves. "Just so to add, if any of you get fresh with her, Kuchiki-taicho would shred you." Rukia protested. She can handle herself fine. Damn that red headed bastard for ruining her reputation as a Shinigami!

"Rule number 3. If Kurosaki Ichigo comes barging in for no good reason, especially into Rukia's office, you have the authority to run him through cos-" His one minute of fame had ended as abruptly as it started, thanks to a well aimed Kido spell that happened to be Rukia's favorite (Hado#33).

Renji was smoking, Rukia was fuming. She had endured his crap for years already, and this time he was over stepping the boundaries. Ichigo had been Soul Society's savior, he can saunter into the Soutaicho's office for all he wanted.

"Renji," she hissed, grabbing his the front of his shirt and pulling him down to eye level. "We're gonna have a nice little chat later, shall we?" She asked sweetly, the class watching the exchange as if it were a drama serial, but completely missing the fury in her eyes. Man would the rumor mills be running! Renji and Rukia? Or was it Ichigo and Rukia?

Letting the dazed man go, she continued on her lecture, as if Renji had never happened.

Of course, rumors about the exchange flew about in no time flat, the recruits being terrible gossips. With each retelling, the story got more and more dramatic. When Ukitake walked into his office later on the in afternoon, the version that reached him was that Rukia was showing the new shingami around when out of no where Ichigo appeared and started making out with her. Not long after, a jealous Renji flew in from the window (his informant was really particular about Renji flying in) and the two started flinging kido spells at each other, resulting in Renji looking like a bomb blew up in his face.

The captain smiled inwardly. Renji and Ichigo were the worst people in all three worlds when it came to Kido. It was after all, a rumor. But in all lies there are elements of truth. The question to be asked is, what was true? With a sip of his herbal tea, Ukitake drew his own conclusions and decided that he must intervene for the sake of his poor Lieutenant's heart. He sent for her, and began phrasing what would be a very interesting conversation.

To cut the long and awkward conversation short, Ukitake had basically thought Renji and Ichigo were fighting for her affections. He then spoke of 'young love and it's problems', also adding in many stories from his experiences. Rukia was shocked at the least. Renji was so going to get a beating of a lifetime for this. After a particularly embarrassing one that involved Kyoraku-taicho, sake and a candy box, Rukia pulled a the 'too much work to complete' excuse and escaped. But not before Ukitake let her off early to 'sort out the affairs of the heart'.

Fuming, she went to find Renji to beat the living daylights out of him. When he was found, her Nii-sama had punished him nicely enough with a 50 page report on damages and injuries when a more racy version of the gossip reached his ears. Rukia sniggered. Trust him to be on top of all the gossip in Seireitei.

However, she herself was not spared. Byakuya really meant well and wanted to ensure his sister would find someone suitable. (Read as : not Ichigo or Renji. Preferably some one of a decent class and had manners). In due course, a famous Kuchiki lecture had to follow. It included Byakuya haltingly trying to convince Rukia that there were better men out there that deserved her attention.

By the end it, it was way past evening time and she had accomplished nothing the whole day. Thinking about the pile of paperwork waiting for her was really testing her endurance. Curse paperwork and that no good Renji, and that idiot Ichigo, and her Nii-sama for misunderstanding, and Ukitake for being so sick, and basically all of Seireitei! She needed a drink, damn what her brother may think! As she trugged into the nearest bar, she had unknowingly left a trail of ice and snow behind her.

"Screw the world," she said, giving up on explaining everything. She didn't have the endurance to hear the Gossip Queen of Seireitei make a joke of the whole situation. She just grabbed the sake and drunk it as if it were water.

"Ah, I see." Matusmoto said knowingly In her career as a Shinigami, she had seen worse cases of gossip than Rukia's. Nodding, she wordlessly got another drink for her fellow Lieutenant. Hisagi looked at them as if they had sprouted two heads.

"Men like you won't know," Matusmoto said as wisely as she could while drunk. Turning to Rukia who was more than drunk, she continued. "Now was it Renji or Ichigo you're really in love with?"

OMAKE

"DANCE! SODE NO SHIRAYUKI! FIRST DANCE! TSUKISHIRO!"

"Wait Rukia-chan I-"

The next morning, Hitsugaya led his soldiers out into the field for mass training when a small commotion broke out. He pushed to the front and saw a very interestingly made ice sculpture that was in the liking of his Lieutenant. It was even colored to look like her!

"My my, I find this aesthetically pleasing. Leave it be and carry on with your drills." He said.