A/N: This one's for Amgine! I had no intention of doing an April Fool's fic, but once it was suggested/requested by Amgine, I thought about the possibilities. I thought it had potential to be funny, but when I started typing, it got serious. Oh well, I guess we never know where the story will take us once we get going. It's not the best, but I think it's decent for something that I put together in 2 days.
Disclaimer…Not mine, but you already knew that.
April 1st…Also known as April Fool's Day, one of my favorite days, for obvious reasons. It's no secret that I'm the jokester of the Planeteers. The best part is none of the other Planeteers ever remembers April Fool's Day. I guess it's not a big deal in other countries. It's not a huge deal in the States either…unless you're a prankster like me, then it's almost like Christmas.
Ma-Ti is my first victim. Once he's out of the way, I'll recruit him to help me with the rest. He's my protégé. He looks up to me, and I know it, so letting him be a part of my plan will make his day. For a kid that grew up in the rainforest, Ma-Ti has an unusual fear of snakes. They freak me out too, but I grew up in the city, so I have an excuse. But before I can set my plan into motion, first I have to come up with a believable story as to why I'm getting up so early. For all of the things that I love about Linka, the one thing that I hate is that she is such a light sleeper. I can't even get up in the middle of the night to use the restroom without waking her. I feel guilty every time. Even if I roll over in the middle of the night, it wakes her up. After the fiasco that sleeping in separate rooms caused a few weeks ago on Easter, there's no way I was going to go there again. Besides, I didn't need her getting suspicious of me.
I slide out of bed, put on my swimming trunks, and grab my board. Just as I suspected, Linka wakes up.
"What are you doing Yankee?"
"I'm going for a swim. The waves out there are perfect."
"What time is it?"
"6:30."
"What on Earth are you doing up so early?" She asks.
"I don't know. I woke up at 6 and just could not fall back to sleep. I guess the idea of some sweet waves has me pretty wired. You wanna come?" I knew she'd say no. She's an early riser, but not this early. And she'd definitely not want to go swimming this early."
"Nyet. I need a few more hours of sleep. I cannot believe you are not still tired."
"I slept like a baby last night…that was great by the way…I feel well rested and ready to go. I'll probably need a nap later on, but right now, I'm too excited to sleep. I'll catch ya later," I say as I lean over to kiss her cheek.
She was already falling back asleep because all I got in reply was a "Humph."
I grabbed the things I needed to pull off the ultimate prank and quietly closed the door.
When I got to Ma-Ti's cabin, he was sound asleep. Perfect. I pull out all the rubber snakes that I had bought and lay them on top of him. Luckily, unlike Linka, Ma-Ti can sleep through anything. I guess he's used to weird sounds in the night, being from the rainforest and all. I guess I'm the same way. I've learned to sleep through sirens, shouting, crashing objects, and all the other noises that come with city living…and an alcoholic father. Anytime it rains or storms on the Island, I could always sleep through it. Not anymore though because now I've got Linka waking me up with, "did you hear that Yankee?"
Now for the best part; I stand outside of Ma-Ti's window with a fake snake tied onto the end of a stick and dangle it over his face until it touches him. He starts to stir and wipes at his face. This time, I let the snake lie on his chest and then pull it up so that its face is resting on his chin. His eyes open and he screams (like a little girl, I might add), and jumps out of bed brushing all the fake snakes off him. My hysterical laughter soon catches his attention.
"Wheeler! You…..jerk!"
"April Fools little buddy!"
"Aww, I should have known that was coming up. I always forget. One of these years, I will be prepared for you," he says.
"Sorry Ma-Ti, I gotta do it though. You can go back to sleep now."
"Yeah right, I do not think I will be able to sleep for a week now. My heart is pounding. Besides, I want to see what you have planned for the others."
"I'm gonna need your help. This one's pretty elaborate."
I tell him my plan and what he needs to do.
"Are you sure that is such a good idea Wheeler? That is pretty mean."
"Mean? How?"
"People will be worried and scared."
"Don't worry Ma-Ti, it'll only be for a little bit. And once they realize it was just a joke, all will be forgiven," I say.
"If you say so. But I think this one may have crossed the line between humorous and malicious. I mean, you are playing with people's emotions. Think of what this is going to do to Linka. You are going to get yourself in alot of trouble."
"She'll be fine. I might get hit a few times, but she'll forgive me…she always does."
"Ok. I do not feel comfortable being a part of this though," Ma-Ti says.
"Aww, c'mon little buddy. I thought you wanted to learn from the master?"
"I do. But I thought you would have other things in mind, like the snake thing, whoopee cushions, or something creative like what you tried to do a few years ago with the leaf full of water and the teddy bear."
"Yeah, that one was a dud and backfired on ME."
"You better hope this one does not backfire as well."
"You worry too much Ma-Ti. Chill. No one will know that you were in on this. All you have to say is that the last time you saw me, I had asked you if you wanted to go surfing with me and you haven't seen me since. They don't need to know that you knew what was going on," I say.
"Ok."
I leave Ma-Ti and head down to the beach. I can't believe I'm doing this, but I scratch up my board and jam it between some rocks in the jetty. Then I sprinkle some red food coloring on it to give it a bloody look. This is gonna be great. I head up to the cliffs where I have a perfect view of the beach and wait.
It took a few hours, but I hear Kwame calling my name.
"WHEELER…DO YOU WANT BREAKFAST? WHEEEEEEEEEEEELER?!"
Actually, I could go for some breakfast. I didn't think that part through. I should have brought snacks with me.
Then I see Gi coming out to the beach to meet Kwame. I see him shrug his shoulders and she shields her eyes from the sun as she looks out into the ocean. She also shrugs her shoulders and they head back inside. Gee guys, thanks for your concern…enjoy your freakin' breakfast.
A half hour later, I see Linka and Ma-Ti coming outside. She is also looking out towards the water. "WHEELER! WHEELER?!" She and Ma-Ti are talking and I wish I knew what they were saying.
"You might want to end this now before it goes too far Wheeler."
I nearly jump out of my skin.
"Geeez Gaia! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"
"Now YOU know how it feels. I'm serious Wheeler. What you're doing isn't funny."
"It's an April Fool's prank Gaia. Once they realize that, everything will be fine. The only reason they'll be mad is because I tricked them…AGAIN," I say.
"Ok. Just don't say I didn't warn you."
"I won't. You'll see."
Geez, why is everyone so uptight. The only thing I should be worried about is, how am I ever gonna top this one! Kwame and Gi have now joined Ma-Ti and Linka on the beach. They're all talking now, and now they are splitting up. Let the search party begin! Linka and Ma-Ti are climbing out onto the rock jetty and looking around.
"WHEELER! WHEELER, WHERE ARE YOU?!" Linka yells.
Ma-Ti looks up to my hiding place and spots me. He just shakes his head. He and Linka start walking back to the beach when she suddenly stops and starts jumping down the rocks to get to my board. Here we go!
"GI, KWAME, OVER HERE!" She screams.
They come running back to see what she's found. When they get there, they help her pull my board out of the rocks and they all start searching around the jetty, yelling my name.
"WHEELER, ARE YOU OK?"
"WHEELER, ANSWER ME"
Ma-Ti pretends to try to contact me using his ring. I see him put his hand to his head, wait a few seconds, and then shake his head. He's good. See, he was worried that this was a bad idea, but he's getting into it.
"DAMMIT YANKEE, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO SURFING BY YOURSELF SO EARLY IN THE MORNING?"
Aww, she really does care. They continue to look around the beach and out into the ocean. This is good. Linka drops to her knees and yells "WHEEEEEEEEEELER!!"
The others rush to her side and try to pick her up but she pushes them away and yells,
"THIS IS ALL MY FAULT. I SHOULD NOT HAVE LET HIM GO ALONE. I SHOULD HAVE GONE WITH HIM AND AT LEAST WATCHED HIM. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF."
No need to beat yourself up Babe, it's all part of the plan.
Ma-Ti and the others close in around her to give her hugs and comfort her, and once again, he looks up at me. I give him the thumbs up signal and then head to my next position.
When I get to the west side of the island, I make sure to rip my shorts, dump the remaining red food coloring on them (good thing I grabbed one of my least favorite pairs), mess up my hair, and throw some sand on me to make it look like I've been through hell.
Five minutes later, I hear "Bozhe Moy, WHEELER?!"
"Oh no! He's unconscious!"
"Is he breathing?"
Once I sense someone is kneeling next to me, I hold my breath.
"Nyet!"
I feel her fingers on my neck, searching for a pulse.
"He still has a pulse though," Linka says.
She tilts my head back and as soon as she puts her lips on mine, I grab her and begin kissing her. She quickly pulls away with a shocked expression on her face.
"What the…"
"APRIL FOOLS!" I yell.
"CHORT VOZ MI WHEELER!" She yells, and then she SLAPS me. Hard. It actually hurts…alot. I was expecting a light punch to the arm, or a shove, but this hurts like hell!
"Owww, damn Linka. It was only a joke. Lighten up."
"LIGHTEN UP?! WE WERE WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU. JOKES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY. THIS STUNT YOU HAVE PULLED IS NOT!"
"Aw, c'mon. You guys should know by now. On April 1st, don't believe anything I say or do. You only have yourselves to blame."
"No Wheeler. Linka has every right to be mad. We all do. We thought you were dead or seriously injured. That is no way to treat your friends. I am hurt that you would have such disregard for our feelings. I cannot imagine how Linka must feel. She was blaming herself for letting you go surfing," Kwame says.
"Ok, I'm sorry that you were scared, but you have to admit, I had ya big time! You're not mad at me are ya Gi?"
"Yes, I am. You really scared us Wheeler. Think how you would have felt if you thought something bad had happened to one of us. Now think about how you would've felt if you thought something bad had happened to Linka. Now do you get it? See what you put us through?"
"Yeah, I guess. I'm sorry guys. I just thought it was the ultimate practical joke. I never considered that you'd freak out like this."
"You did not? Tell me Yankee, how did you think we would react to thinking someone that we love was dead!" Linka says.
"Ok, ok. It wasn't as funny as I thought it was going to be. I didn't think it through. I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you Babe," I say as I pull her towards me.
"DO NOT TOUCH ME…EVER!"
"Oh come on. You're over reacting."
"Nyet, I am not. I think the others will agree with me. I cannot be with someone who does not take into consideration other people's feelings. Especially mine. How could you do this to me Wheeler? I love…loved you. I could not bear the thought of losing you, but you leave me no choice. I cannot stay in this relationship. I thought you had changed. I thought you had matured. I was wrong." And with those words, she turns and walks away.
"Linka wait. You don't really mean that. I'm sorry. I'll do whatever you need me to do to make it up to you…to all of you. IT'S APRIL FOOLS, IT WAS JUST A JOKE!!"
She kept walking.
"Ma-Ti, tell them. Tell 'em it was just a joke."
"Ma-Ti, did you know about this?" Kwame asks.
"Uh, no…I did not know. But it was a joke…a bad one…but I do not think he would have gone through with it if he knew it would end like this," Ma-Ti says.
"That's the problem with you Wheeler…you don't think and now you've lost the best thing that's ever happened to you," Gi says.
"Come on Gi, let us see if Linka needs us," Kwame says as he and Gi leave Ma-Ti and I behind.
"I screwed up little buddy."
"I tried to warn you Wheeler. I am sorry."
"I gotta talk to her. She can't just give up on us like that."
I run back to the cabins. When I get to Linka's, I see a pile of stuff outside the door…my stuff. All of the clothes and toiletries that I had kept in her room were thrown carelessly on the ground, but she was no where around. I picked up my stuff and headed back to my room. I see her coming out of it with all of her stuff that had accumulated at my place.
"Linka, put that stuff back. You know you don't mean what you're saying. I know you. You don't give up on anything that easily. You can't do this," I plead.
"I can, and I have. I am giving the birds to Ma-Ti. I cannot have them there to remind me."
"I'll take them."
"Nyet. I still want to visit them. I cannot do that if they are with you."
"Sure you can," I say.
"Nyet. Not if you take them back to New York."
"What? Why would I be taking them to New York?"
"Because my friend, we have come to a decision that perhaps it is best if you leave the Planeteers," Kwame says from behind me.
"WHAT?! You're kidding right?"
"Sorry Wheeler. Linka said she was leaving because she couldn't be around you any longer. We talked her out of leaving, but on one condition…you had to go. It was difficult, having to choose between the two of you, but given the circumstances, Linka hasn't done anything to deserve leaving the team. She's the victim in all this," Gi explains.
"Ma-Ti? You don't agree with them do you?"
"I am sorry Wheeler. I wish it did not have to be like this. I am going to miss you," he says.
"You can't do this. I'm sure Gaia wouldn't approve," I say.
"I'm sorry Wheeler," Gaia says as she appears. "I gave you the opportunity to do the right thing, but you wouldn't listen. The others voted and I am honoring their wishes. I don't want to do this Wheeler, but you leave me no choice. I need your ring back."
I'm numb. I can feel the blood rising to my face. I can't hear anything except my heart pounding. The pulsating is going through my ears and I can hear my blood rushing. My throat is closing up and I can't breathe or speak. My mouth is opening and closing, but words aren't coming out. I see them all staring at me…waiting for something. Then I notice that Gaia is saying something.
"Huh?" I manage to get out.
"Your ring Wheeler. Give it to me," she says.
"Oh. Yeah. Ok. Here," I say as I slide it off. "I guess I'll just go pack." I turn to walk into my room.
"Wheeler?" Linka says.
I turn to face her, hoping that she's changed her mind, that she doesn't want me to go.
"Yeah," I say hopefully.
"Here," she says as she holds out the necklace I gave her for Easter.
"No. That's yours. Remember what I told you it meant? I still feel that way. I always will."
"I do not believe it. If that were true, you would not have hurt me like you did," she says.
"I never wanted to hurt you…any of you. I thought you guys would understand. I would never have done something like this if it weren't April Fool's Day."
No one said anything. They wouldn't even look at me. So once again, I turned to go back to my room and pack.
"APRIL FOOLS!" They all yell.
What? I whip around and look at all of their smiling faces.
"What?" I ask out loud.
"You heard us Yankee. April Fools!" Linka says.
"You're not kicking me out?"
"Nyet, you can stay. And not only are we letting you stay, we also knew all along that your little 'disappearing act' was a joke…a bad joke. Which is why we came up with a plan of our own to fool you instead."
"Ma-Ti, did you rat me out?!" I ask.
"No…well, yes. But I was one step ahead of you the whole time. I knew you would be planning something, I just did not know what. I also figured that you would come to me with your plan to fool everyone else because you do it every year. So a few days ago, I warned the others that April Fools Day was coming and that we needed to be prepared for your joke. The plan was that once you told me your plan, I would tell the others so we knew what to expect and not believe you. Once I knew what you had planned though, I could not believe you would be so mean. So instead of just being prepared and knowing you were joking, we decided to turn the prank around on you."
"So my friend, the master has been deceived by student. Excellent work Ma-Ti," Kwame says.
"Yeah, I didn't think we'd ever be able to fool you Wheeler, but we got you good!" Gi added.
"Yeah, yeah. You got me. I concede defeat. I'm just glad you guys aren't really that angry with me. I was so upset, I thought I was going to puke!"
"Say it Wheeler, say 'Ma-Ti got me and is the champion jokester this year,'" Ma-Ti says.
"Fine, Ma-Ti got me and is the champion jokester this year. There, are you happy?"
"Very."
Everyone laughs as Gi, Ma-Ti, and Kwame walk away. I laugh too. I'm not a sore loser. I'm just relieved that I'm not in trouble…or so I thought.
"Actually Babe, YOU'RE the champion. I really believed you were angry and breaking up with me."
"I was really angry with you Wheeler. We may have known it was a joke, but if we hadn't known, I would have been so worried about you. What you had planned was NOT funny. I do not know what I would do if something ever happened to you. I never thought I would ever feel this way, but if I lost you…" she says as tears start to fall.
"I know Babe. It wasn't funny. I get that now. I don't ever want to lose you either…and when I thought you broke up with me, I felt…empty," I say softly as I lean my forehead against hers, cup her face in my hands, and wipe away her tears. I hate to admit it, but I'm starting to tear up too.
We stand there for a few minutes, head to head, nose to nose, composing ourselves. I want to kiss her…forget about this whole day, and start all over again. I'm waiting for her to make the first move though. She pulls away and takes a deep breath. Uh-oh. Here comes the part where she rips me a new one.
"What you did, it was stupid, immature, selfish, and heartless."
"I know, I know, I know, I know. I promise...I swear on my LIFE, I will never do something that stupid again. And I meant what I said before, I'll make it up to you," I say as I pull her into my arms.
"How?"
"First, I'm going to take these things of yours and put them back in my room because you're not going anywhere. Then I'm going to take this necklace and put it back on you. Then I'm going to do this…and take this off, and do this…and a little of this…"
"Wheeler…"
"Are you starting to forgive me….and this…"
"Maaaaaybe," she says.
"Maaaaaybe is not good enough…how about this? Does this make it better?"
"Hmm, not quiet. Keep trying."
"Whatever you say. You know Babe, I never planned on making you or the others mad. I mean, I knew you might be upset at first, but I didn't think you'd take it so seriously. I guess I forgot that the rest of you don't appreciate April Fool's Day like I do."
"Wheeler, stop talking."
"I'm just trying to say…I'm sorry. When Gi told me to put myself in your place, if I thought something bad had happened to you…I would have gone nuts. I should never have done anything that would have hurt you. So I promise that I'll always do whatever it takes to protect you. I'll always put your feelings above my own, and I will NEVER intentionally do anything to upset you ever again. Ok?"
"Ok. But can I add something to that?"
"Anything," I say.
"Never, ever, play another joke on me again unless, I will LAUGH at it."
"Deal," I say as I continue trying to make amends.
A few hours later, I wake up from that nap that I knew I was going to need when I woke up way too early this morning. I feel like starting the day over again. Like pretending this morning never happened...well, except for the making up part.
"Hey," I say as Linka rolls over and looks up at me.
"Hey," she says sleepily. "How was your nap."
"Nap? What are you talking about? It's morning," I say as I brush her hair out of her face. I wonder if I can get her to think it was all just a dream. The look on her face says she's considering it. Then she looks at the clock.
"It is not morning! It is 12:30 in the afternoon!"
"Umm…April Fools?" That earns me a slap on the arm. "Owww."
"Do not be such a baby," she teases.
"I'm not. I don't know if you realize this Babe, but you pack quite a punch. My face still hurts from when you slapped me earlier," I confess.
"Let me see." She turns my face and examines it. "Oh my, Yankee. I think it is starting to bruise! Bozhe Moy, I am sorry!"
"It's ok. I deserved it…I guess."
"I guess I put a little more power behind it than I intended. I was so caught up in the emotions, I forgot that I was only supposed to be pretending to be mad at you. Forgive me?" She asks as she places a kiss on the injured cheek.
"Yeah. Geez, now I know how my mom felt!" I joke.
"That is not funny!"
"I know, bad joke."
"You seem to be full of them today."
"Yeah, I'm not doing too good am I?"
"Nyet."
We lay there in silence for a few minutes. For me, these are the best moments. I've got my arm around her and she's resting her head on my shoulder. She's drumming her fingers on my chest while I twirl her hair around my finger.
"I love you," I say.
"And I love you."
"I just realized I hadn't said it yet today."
"You know Yankee, every holiday, you have done something to make it memorable, and I have loved every one…until now. This isn't even a real holiday, and while it was certainly memorable, I wish we could forget it."
"Really? I was thinking that this would be something that you would use against me all the time to win every argument, but if you're cool with just forgetting it ever happened, then that works for me!"
"Hmm, I did not think about that. I think I will use that!"
"Aww, man. Me and my big mouth."
"Speaking of your big mouth, I am getting hungry. Are you?" She asks.
"Yes."
"Do you want to go get some lunch?"
"No."
"Well then what do you want to do?"
"This," I say as I pull her closer and kiss her.
"Mmm, that was nice…but I'm still hungry!" she says.
"How about you stay right here and I'll go get us something to eat?"
"Room service, eh Wheeler?"
"Sure. To make it up to you, I'll be your slave for a week. I'll do whatever chores you want. Laundry? Dishes. Cooking? You need it done, I'll do it for you."
"Just a week?"
"Two weeks?"
"Keep going."
"Three?"
"A MONTH!" She proclaims.
"A month?! Ok, ok. I'm your loyal servant for a month. Is a ham sandwich good enough for you ma'am?"
"That is fine. Now hurry!"
I leave the room, but as I close the door, I hear her say "Little do you know Yankee, you will be my slave for the rest of your life."
"Hey, I heard that!" I yell back.
She's right though. I am hers forever, and I couldn't be happier at the thought. If she can forgive this practical joke, she can forgive anything. Lucky for me...I tend to screw up alot!
The End
A few years ago, some friends and I came up with an April Fools joke to play on a friend of ours who was from England. It involved telling her I was in the hospital after being bitten by a rabid squirrel. Needless to say, she was worried, but when we revealed it was just an April Fool's joke, she didn't get it and we found out, they don't really do April Fools over there (according to her). All was forgiven once we convinced her she was over reacting and shouldn't be mad at us. We all thought it was funny. I guess we've got a twisted sense of humor.