Training the latest recruit to the Turks had been interesting to say the least. For one thing, the kid wasn't exactly a recruit in the 'they'd recruited him' sense of the word. No, Asher Aspani, the would-be Asher of the Turks had sent in an application.

As far as Reno knew, the Turks found you not the other way around. Commander Veld had a knack for finding lost, desperate souls with skills that could make them of use to Shinra and nowhere else to go: orphans, criminals, and others who found themselves in trouble and hard times…Then there were a few people trained from birth to be something set apart: the big game hunter, the military academy's star pupil, the heart breakingly beautiful girl raised by Shinra itself to one day be its weapon. Shinra had found Reno; without them he'd be just another slum kid with nothing but crime to earn a living.

Without Shinra, Asher would be just fine. His mother was C.E.O. of the Aspani Piano Company and his father was a world renowned Paleontologist and the former mayor of Bone Village to boot. Reno had had a good look through Asher's file when Veld first assigned him to train the kid. The first thing Reno thought was: pretty, his big blue eyes and messy bond hair made him look sort of innocent, boyish if not down right feminine. The second thing he thought was: What was this pretty little rich boy doing asking to be a Turk?

He admired the Turks, apparently.

So what? There were always misguided morons who thought being a Turk was glamorous or some shit. Veld usually put their applications straight through the shredder. Why not this one? Reno was pretty sure he knew. He'd screwed up on his last mission, nearly got himself and one of the rookies killed. Now Veld was punishing him by making Reno waste his time testing an applicant who had no chance..

Veld was all about teaching lessons. Asher's lesson would be "do not waste the Turks' time". This wasn't some club you could join because you'd exhausted all the thrills money could buy. What Reno was doing wasn't training; it was a series of tests designed not only to make the kid fail but to make him go home crying.

Fair enough, waste of time but more entertaining than paperwork. However, Reno hadn't expected to take a liking to the kid. Asher wasn't at all what Reno'd thought he'd be, he wasn't snotty or stuck up, just…honest, friendly and enthusiastic as fuck.

The first day Reno had been assigned to 'ascertain' Asher's ability in hand-to-hand combat, which translated into beating the shit out of the kid. If Veld wanted him to kick some kid's ass, then he'd do it. He wouldn't kill him, but he'd definitely make him regret coming here. It wasn't like Reno had led the lamb to the slaughter; Asher had come willingly, thinking for some reason he was cut out to run with wolves.

"It's nice to meet you, sir," Asher said before Reno led him into the sparring room, "thanks for training with me. It's an honor, really, I'm a huge fan."

Reno didn't know what to make of that. Veld had told him the deal. Asher was going to fight a Turk who'd been instructed to not hold back short of lethal force, and he was still happy about it? Reno couldn't help but chuckle at that. "You're funny," he said. "Now come on, I want to see how long you last."

He lasted a hell of a lot longer than Reno had expected. At the end of the day Reno still won, but damn, that kid gave him a fight. He was fast, but he didn't let speed make him sloppy. One thing was for sure; this Asher knew how to use nunchaku as good as any pro. In the end Reno had to zap him with his E.M.R. to knock him off guard and get a swing in with the rod. Sure, after the fight Asher could barely get up from the training mat but the kid was good. Asher even managed to give Reno a weak grin when it was all said and done. After Reno healed him with a cure materia he invited him out for drinks.

From that day on, Reno started to sort of root for the kid.

"All right, Sunshine, let's see what you can do," he would say, and another day of brutal 'training' would commence. Reno had to hand it to him, Asher might be a lamb trying to join a wolf pack, but so far he'd not only managed to avoid being eaten alive but to keep up with the best of 'em.

All the same, Asher was a ray of sunshine, no doubt about it, and did a ray of light really belong in a department that worked in the shadows? Combat prowess aside, Asher seemed well…harmless; he was too nice to ever seriously hurt anyone, much less kill.

There was a departmental legend that no one was allowed to join the Turks unless they'd killed. Given the sort of lives a lot of their recruits left behind when they'd joined, the majority of them had blood on their hands, but that wasn't the case for everyone. No two Turks were the same, but none of them were as innocent as Asher seemed.

Maybe that was why Veld decided to turn that rumor into a rule when it came to testing Asher. If he couldn't kill, then there was no point wasting any more time on him. Once you were in the Turks there was no turning back, but Asher was still on trial. That meant he hadn't been given any classified information. He was still free to walk. After what Veld had in store for him today Reno fully expected him to walk and better now than later.

Everyone had to kill on Shinra's orders eventually, and Veld wasn't going to hiring Asher for a job he couldn't do. While most Turks killed their first man for Shinra while on assignment, Asher would be expected to see the ugly side of what they did before he ever took a mission. After today, Asher would understand exactly why a little lamb like him should walk away while the wolves were feeling charitable.

Reno planned to be nice about it. If Asher didn't want to do this, it was fine. Better to find out now, right? He still felt bad, though, when he saw how excited Asher seemed that morning.

"What's on the schedule today?" Asker asked.

"Weapons proficiency," said Reno, "I know you're good with those nunchucks, but I want to see how you handle a gun. Veld said you know a thing or two about fire arms?"

"Yeah," chirped Asher, "I was trained with rifles at school, then I took a class on handgun use with a private instructor before applying to the Turks, just in case it was a requirement. I wanted to be the best candidate I could be."

They arrived at a door, but it wasn't the entrance to the firing range. It led to the interrogation rooms.

"Good then," said Reno. He handed him a holstered gun and opened the door. "Put that on, don't worry, it's loaded. The man inside is scheduled for execution. Kill him."

Asher looked confused, but stepped inside. Reno did not follow but took another door to an adjacent room from which he could watch through a one-way mirror. Inside the room a man was handcuffed to a chair, blinded folded.

Reno pressed the intercom button to repeat the order, and tell Asher that if he didn't think he was up for it that was fine. He could put the gun away and they would go back to Reno's office where he'd explain why Asher didn't make-

A gun blast rang out and the man slumped dead. Asher had stepped into position and taken the shot before Reno could say shit.

Asher hadn't balked at the order. He'd carried it out and now he was putting away his weapon calm as anything. Reno moved to meet Asher in the hall outside the interrogation room, his mind still reeling.

What the hell? Yeah sure, there'd been a chance Sunshine could do it but even if Asher carried out the order Reno thought he'd at least-

Reno was pulled from his thoughts by Asher's voice. He must have seen how shocked Reno looked because he seemed pretty worried.

"I…did all right, didn't I?" asked Asher.

Again Reno just stared, at a loss for words. "Uh…yeah it was a nice shot…" But what the fuck, seriously? "I just…thought you might hesitate or something. You never killed a guy before, right?"

"Of course not," said Asher, "but why would I hesitate? He was sentenced to die and you gave me an order. I'm not going to question you, Sir. I'll do what's necessary and trust your judgment."

"You don't even care who he was or if he deserved it?" asked Reno.

"I don't think it's my place to say who deserves to die," said Asher, "I mean, if there's a situation where I have to make a judgment call I can do that, but it's not about what he deserved, it's about what's necessary. If he was sentenced to die then it was necessary." Asher nodded as he spoke.

Reno hadn't expected that. Sure, a lot of Turks had killed before they ever joined up, but for them killing had been a matter of survival. Asher had taken a life because he was ordered to and had done so without hesitation. Reno was more than a little concerned about the kid's mental heath but then he heard him throwing up in the men's room a little while later. Delayed response, kept calm until the job was done…Reno would include that observation in his report to Veld.

_

In the men's room, Asher slumped over the toilet, throat raw and eyes soaked with tears.

When Reno had told him to execute the man, he'd been…a bit shocked but there hadn't been any other option after that; Asher wasn't going to back down. He would not say he couldn't do this. Asher had raised the gun, focusing on taking aim but he could barely keep his hand still and then he fired. It happened so fast, but it at the same time it was like some slow motion horror film.

Asher reached up to flush, and then slumped against the wall.

Every time he closed his eyes, the scene replayed. Taking the shot, and all that blood; the look on the man's face contorting into pain the moment before he died.

At least the shot had been clean. Then it was done and he could exhale.

After that he'd focused on the gun. He holstered it, careful to keep his finger off the trigger and the gun pointed in a safe direction. Then he left the room, doing his best not to run or slam the door behind him.

Reno met him in hall, looking as troubled than Asher felt. Had Asher done something wrong? Asher knew getting into the Turks wouldn't be easy but it meant everything to him. He had to prove that he could do this! That he was just as capable as any other person on the planet and more driven than many.

Reno had been bothered that Asher hadn't hesitated. Was he supposed to? Reno had given him an order, right?

An order to kill a man in cold blood…As Asher lay slumped in the bathroom stall the image flashed before his eyes, replaying the scene. Asher leaned over the toilet to retch again, his whole body trembling.

"You all right?" he heard Reno's voice.

"Fine!" he cried. He didn't want Reno to see him like this, face red and streaked with tears. Asher heard Reno coming closer and he stood, trying to wipe his face off.

When Reno saw him, Asher didn't see any disdain in his eyes. "You want to come lie down in the break room? I can get you some water."

"I'm fine," said Asher, "I—"'

"Killed someone," said Reno, "and if that comes easy to you then you've got something wrong in the head. Being shaken up like this isn't weakness, Asher, it's being human. Contrary to what people might think the Turks don't hire monsters that like killing. Honestly, you had me worried there for a bit, shooting a guy like it was nothing."

"I don't like killing," said Asher, trying not to wince as the image replayed again. "But won't I have to kill? Like in the army?"

"Probably," said Reno, "can't say. We try to avoid unnecessary body counts when we can but sometimes there ain't no good solution. It gets easier…sort of…but it's not supposed to be easy from the get go." Reno put an arm around Asher to steady him as the he made his way to the bathroom sink.

Asher finished washing up as Reno spoke. "Don't we have to trust Shinra?" asked Asher. "Isn't our job to protect the company and do whatever we need to toward that end?"

The young Turk moved to follow Reno out of the washroom, more than willing to take Reno's offer to lie down and drink some water.

Reno led the way to the break room. "How do you know so much about the Turks anyway?" he asked.

"Reading," said Asher, "I thought it through before making my decision to apply. It was between this and the army." He took a seat on the couch and shrugged. "Either way I'd end up killing people. Sure it might be easier to shoot someone who's shooting at you at the time, but the results are the same, and if I'd refused to shoot that man he'd still have been killed."

Reno went to the sink and filled a glass of water as Asher spoke. He handed the cup to Asher and took a seat in a nearby chair. "Guess you've got a point," he said, "so how come you didn't go army? Ain't many people applying to join the Turks. Didn't you want the glory of SOLDIER?"

Asher nearly choked from laughing as he took a sip of water. He cleared his throat and tried to keep from laughing because it didn't seem right to laugh at a time like this, but sometimes humor was the only way to keep from crying. "I could barely manage a bat in ballgames as a kid could you imagine me with a sword? A little blond kid holding a weapon bigger than he is, no one would take me seriously, it's ridiculous. Then again, maybe it's no more ridiculous than a guy like me making it into the Turks, but even if I don't make it, no one can say I didn't give it my all."