Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, simply put, I just don't. Don't force me to say this every single time, it's like a little knife into my heart...

Note: Whatever tips you see written here, I just made up. I am a girl but yeah don't completely trust this stuff, okay? I don't want to be held responsible for any broken, disappointed hearts.

How to Get the Girl

"So guys what do you think I should do?" Nobunaga pleaded, "I really like Tetsuya but she doesn't seem to notice me at all."

"Easy," Inuyasha and Miroku replied.

Nobunaga lit up. "Really? What should I do?"

Miroku smiled, "Come back tomorrow, there's just too much to tell you all right now."

Nobunaga glanced at Inuyasha who merely gave him a look and then turned away. Nobunaga sighed and walked away.

...tomorrow...

"So what do I do?" Nobunaga jumped up and down excitedly.

Miroku beamed as only one who believed to be a total expert in the field of women could. "Just follow the steps in this book and Tetsuya will beg to be with you." He tossed him a purple notebook.

Nobunaga glanced at Inuyasha.

"If you really want it," Inuyasha huffed and pulled out a red notebook.

Miroku glanced curiously at Inuyasha. "You wrote one too?"

"Got nothing better to do," Inuyasha remarked.

Nobunaga was flipping through both notebooks when he found something alarming. "They're both so different!" He gasped, "Who's advice do I follow?"

Miroku sighed, "Mine obviously, does Inuyasha look like someone who understands the female mind?"

Nobunaga looked up at the gruffly dressed, messy and slightly dirty guy who was known as the school bad boy. He wasn't often approached by anyone other than his friends because he scared most of the school shitless. He glared and scowled often and was found sulking up in the treetops on a daily basis. As far as anyone knew he had never even had a girlfriend, most figured none of the girls interested him at all.

"You're right..." Nobunaga replied and nearly pooped himself at the glare Inuyasha shot him.

Inuyasha scowled, "Oh and Miroku's track record is so perfect. When was the last time a girl actually responded positively to any of your lecherous crap?"

"I don't ever remember any instance of that kind," Nobunaga answered.

"At least I have a track record," Miroku huffed.

Nobunaga looked between the two of them for a moment. Then he got an idea. "Why don't you guys prove to me your advice works? Both of you use your own advice to try and get a girl. Whoever gets their girl first wins and I follow their advice, okay?"

Inuyasha and Miroku traded looks.

Nobunaga bit his lip. "Wait, do both of you have any girl in particular you'd actually could test your advice on?"

Miroku smirked as the image of the luscious Sango came to mind. Inuyasha, on the other hand, merely blushed and looked away.

Nobunaga took their reactions as a 'yes'. "This is great!"

"W-wait, I haven't agreed to anything yet!" Inuyasha cried.

Miroku smirked, "You afraid that I'll win, Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha whipped towards Miroku. "Hell no! It's just-"

"Just what?" Miroku rose both eyebrows.

Inuyasha turned away. "Never mind."

"So you guys will do it?" Nobunaga asked.

Miroku smirked, "Absolutely." Inuyasha just nodded very vaguely.

"My dear friend, although this may be a friendly competition, don't think that I won't, pardon my language, kick your ass in this," Miroku smiled as he held his arm.

Inuyasha latched onto it and shook it. "You're gonna lose worse than Elmo in a wrestling match, okay? Especially if you think that you can snag Sango with your idiotic pick-up lines."

"I presume that it's the fair Lady Kikyo, you're after?" Miroku retorted.

Inuyasha went deep red. "K-keh, you can presume whatever the hell you want," Inuyasha crossed his arms over his chest, "I-it ain't any of my business."

Nobunaga beamed, "This might just end well for all of us! Well I got to go home now, see you!"

"Wait, Nobunaga watch-" Inuyasha sighed as Nobunaga walked headfirst into a tree, "-out for that tree."

Nobunaga got up and smiled, he merely brushed off the dust and went on his way.

"Clumsy, isn't he?" Miroku remarked.

"More like a fool," Inuyasha answered then called, "Wait, Nobunaga, DON'T, THERE'S A-" Inuyasha slapped his forehead as Nobunaga walked into another tree, "tree over there."

Miroku laughed, "Definitely a fool."

...

Inuyasha lay in his room, his bangs covering his eyes. "I can't believe I agreed to this." Inuyasha felt so stupid. "This is never gonna work." He bit his lip. "I'm so gonna make a fool of myself...in front of her."

"I presume that it's the fair Lady Kikyo, you're after?"

Inuyasha scowled, "How on earth did that lech ever figure out...?" Inuyasha had tried to be very discreet in his 'observations' of Kikyo. He watched her using the reflection of her image on the window. He usually sat alone though. He had never even talked to her once. And whenever she walked by, he managed to compose himself enough to 'ignore' her presence. No one else in the school knew, how could Miroku have...unless... Inuyasha hurried jumped off his bed and slid his hand around the floor under his bed. Nothing.

"That asshole has my di- journal!" Inuyasha cried. He only wrote in it every other day, so if it was gone for two days he wouldn't notice. Miroku must have taken it yesterday when Inuyasha had left him and Sango in his room to get them cookies. That means Sango probably knows too...and if she told Kagome...and Kagome told her friends... Inuyasha found himself hyperventilating. Calm down Yash, Sango wouldn't blab something like that and Miroku...couldn't have told anyone else...he wouldn't...still... Inuyasha ripped out his cell.

...at Miroku's house...

"And by Friday, she'll be mine!" Miroku had just finished setting up his plan for the week when his cell phone rang.

"Hello," Miroku answered.

"Don't hello me, you stupid asshole," Inuyasha snapped, "Don't you know not to take people's stuff, especially their private stuff!"

Miroku smiled, "You noticed it was gone? But don't you write tomorrow?"

"Shut up, okay?" Inuyasha replied, "Give it back right now or else I'll cut you up into little pieces."

Miroku chuckled, "Fine, fine. I just have one question-"

"My guidance counsellor recommended it," Inuyasha replied curtly.

"Okay...I'll be right over with your diary," Miroku remarked and hung up before Inuyasha could respond. His guidance counsellor recommended it? It was probably true, that guy had a weekly appointment with her because of his 'many issues'. She could have recommended it as a way to sort out and manage his 'feelings in positive and productive manner'. Miroku chuckled, "Inuyasha's got a diary..."

How do y'all feel about it so far? To be honest, this one was supposed to wait until after I finished Bundle of Joy and Falling Star....but I'm getting seriously bored. If you review fast you'll get the next two chapters in no time!