Title: No One Messes With Riza Hawkeye
Author: Whiskey Bloodsbane Pincher
Genre: Humour
Rating: K+/T
Pairing(s): Very, very, very vague mentions Royai and EdWin.
Summary: Ed and Roy learn the dangers of quarreling in Lieutenant Hawkeye's vicinity.
a/n: Yup, I've decided. Random drabbles are my forte. Especially during exams. And oh my gods, I love Royai so much adsghfrh. That's got nothing to do with this drabble but I just had to xD
So, yeah, enjoy my lovelies!
NO ONE MESSES WITH RIZA HAWKEYE
Ed and Roy were fighting again. Well, Ed was the one screaming obscenities and Roy was just making snide comments on his short stature, but they were still fighting nonetheless.
And this time too-
"WHO'RE YOU CALLING A BEAN-SIZED PIPSQUEAK?"
-it was over something-
"Are you deaf, Fullmetal? You, of course."
-so freaking menial-
"YOU'RE A FREAKING BASTARD, COLONEL!"
-that it pissed Riza off.
Her face remained impassive as always but she silently seethed inside. What were these two idiots thinking making a ruckus in a public train? If only Al were here. He was the only one who could pacify his brother. But, no, he was busy. Riza suspected that the of the large box emanating what suspiciously sounded like kitten mewls he had brought back to the hotel last night had something to do with it.
"I dare you to say that again, shrimp."
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MICROSCOPIC SHRIMP THAT RIDES MOSQUITOES AS IF THEY WERE FREAKING PEGASI?"
"I did not say that."
Riza's trigger-happy finger twitched. She was so close to putting a bullet in their brains. As the two continued their petty squabbling, her temper gradually grew higher and higher. But the two men did not notice the vein pulsing in her forehead.
Meanwhile, the other two had reached a completely different topic.
"Just because you don't have the GUTS to actually ASK WINRY OUT-"
"OH YEAH? YOU'RE NOT THE ONE TO TALK AS YOU STILL HAVEN'T PUT THE MOVES ON LIEUTENANT HAWKEYE YE-"
A loud bang interrupted Ed from finishing his sentence. Roy and Ed turned their heads in Riza's direction in unison and then slowly up to the ceiling.
A small bullet-sized hole was smoking up there.
"That's enough,"Riza said loudly but firmly, her arms held aloft towards the ceiling, the front of her gun still smoking.
The two subjects to her murderous gaze paled considerably, and gulped.
Suffice to say, the rest of their journey went in dead silence.
Because, after all, no one messes with First Lieutanant Riza Hawkeye.
useless author's useless a/n: Well, that's it.
R&R if you liked this!