Title: The Fundraiser
Author: Liz (insomniac159)
Pairing(s): None
Warnings: It's not AS smutty as you're used to, but you know me. I can't write smut. The idea behind the story is also very unrealistic, but unrealistic is what I live for. Enjoy!

Cuddy was rummaging through the many papers on her desk, obviously frustrated. It probably had something to do with the upcoming fundraiser or the fact that House had 'accidentally' spilled the janitor's bucket of water as she left her office earlier that morning, causing her to slip and fall. It was most likely the latter. Still, the point stands that Cuddy was frustrated about something, and House's presence would only make things worse.

As if on call, House immediately entered Cuddy's office (was there a light that went off every time Cuddy was frustrated?) to find her digging her way through piles and piles of papers. "Why Cuddy!" he exclaimed. "What's all that you've got there? You seem busy."

"I am," snapped Cuddy in her rudest voice possible.

"Well then," said House cheerily, "Why don't you let me help you out?" Cuddy's little fall in the Clinic earlier that morning had given House a marvelous idea for the upcoming fundraiser. Cuddy, however, would no doubt disapprove of the idea.

"What in the world could you do to help me… besides getting your ass in the Clinic now?" Cuddy shot him daggers.

"Oh come on," whined House. "You seem really busy; let me help with the fundraiser."

"What? YOU want to help with a FUNDRAISER?"

House shrugged nonchalantly. "I had a good idea, that's all."

Cuddy eyed House wearily. What more did she have to lose? Sadly, not that much. "Fine," she said. "But if you screw this up, so help me—."

House grabbed the file that was in her hands, a file that Cuddy had been using to organize fundraiser details. "Oh relax, will you?"

Cuddy sighed and gave House a dramatic roll of the eyes as he exited her office.

&-&-&-&-&

Cuddy was a little worried when she read the very vague notes and details that House had given her describing the fundraiser later that month. For whatever reason, he had planned it during the daytime instead of after hours, and he had planned for it to be on the college campus instead of the hospital's ballroom. Other than that, Cuddy had no idea what was going on with the fundraiser. She knew she shouldn't trust House, but something deep down told her that she somehow owed it to him for offering to help.

&-&-&-&-&

It was the day of the fundraiser, and everybody dressed casually, as suggested by the tickets and invitations. They all gathered around outside on the college's campus. Perhaps Lisa Cuddy had decided to go with a barbeque theme for this fundraiser instead of her usual classy ones? Who knows, it could be fun, right?

Chase and Cameron walked up side by side looking around for any sign of what was going on today. Suddenly, they saw a group of college students (mostly male) approaching the crowd. Cuddy was getting pretty desperate, wasn't she? Without warning, though, one of the students pulled out a garden hose and sprayed Cameron.

Cameron gasped, but Chase took the opportunity to admire how wonderfully Cameron's wet shirt was clinging to her chest at that moment.

"What the hell is going on?!" shouted Cameron in shock with her mouth wide open.

The college students seemed confused. "Dr. House said there was a Wet T-shirt Contest here today."

Chase and Cameron's eyes widened as they watched the students spray nearly ever woman in the crowd. Unfortunately, Cuddy had a white shirt on.

"HOUSE!" shouted Cuddy as the students continued to spray people and throw dollar bills at each other. Cameron was taking in quite a bit of money.

"Oh come on," said House. "Look how much money you're getting!"

Cuddy picked up a hundred dollar bill and several twenties that had been tossed her way. Well, it may not be the most orthodox fundraiser, but it was bringing in money. She quickly stole the garden hose from the college students and sprayed House.

"Hey!" whined House, who was now dripping from head to toe.

Every single female college student quickly ran in his direction and started tossing money in his direction. Cameron even threw in a few.

House grinned as he picked up the money around him.

"Don't even think about it," said Cuddy with strict eyes. "It's a fundraiser, remember?"

House frowned and dropped the money back into the pile around him. Cuddy would no doubt collect it later and cash it in for some unnecessary equipment for Oncology.

&-&-&-&-&

Everyone quickly returned to their offices to change into dry clothes after being soaked at the so-called fundraiser. It definitely wasn't one of Cuddy's usual fundraisers, but it certainly was one of the most memorable. What confused everyone, though, was why Cuddy had chosen a Wet T-shirt Contest as a fundraiser.