Disclaimer: Naruto is the intellectual property of Masashi Kishimoto, the song "The Night Santa Went Crazy" is the property of Weird Al Yankovic, I think that's all that needs to be said.
Too all report-happy trolls who might be reading this, since this is a song parody and not a songfic, it doesn't fall into the area of copyright infringement and thus, is not prohibited by the Terms of Service, so I wouldn't click on the "Report Possible Abuse" button if I were you.
Regardless, I hope this one-shot gives you a good holiday chuckle. I wanted to write and post this before Christmas itself showed up, but at least I posted it before midnight on Christmas Day. Enjoy.
P.S. Don't let the lyrics below fool you; I'm not a Sasuke-hater. This whole thing just clicked together last Spring and I've been waiting to put it into fic form.
Begin music
Down in old Oto, Orochimaru was plotting ploys.
Against the Hidden Leaf girls
And the Hidden Leaf boys
When Sasuke busted in
Nearly scared him half to death
Kusanagi in his hand
And cheap sake on his breath.
From his head to his feet
He was covered in kunai
Like a tall dark handsome drunken
Yuletide sam'rai
And he smiled as he said-sharingan in his eye-
"Thanks for training you all, now you're all gonna DIE!"
The night Sasuke went crazy
The night emo went insane
Realized he was gettin' the raw deal
Somethin' finally must have snapped in his braaaain.
(Brief interlude)
Well the hideout is gone now
With debris in Timbuktu
Everwhere you'll find pieces
Of Orochimaru
And he tied up his henchmen
And he held the nins hostage
And he ground up Kabuto into ninja sausage!
He got Sakon and Ukon
With some old-fashioned senbon,
And he slashed up Tayuya like a poor little Muton!
And he handsigned a katon
Barbequed Kimimaro
And he took a big bite and said "Itomakidasu!"
(Refrain)
The night Sasuke went crazy
The night Uchiha went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk a-
-round Otogak're
Without stepping in ninja guts
There's Konoha's ANBU and the Niju Sho-o-tai
There's a van from the eyewitness news
And Deidara's clay birds circlin' round in the sky.
And the kunai are flyin' the body count's risin' and everyone's dyin' to know
"Oh Sasuke Whyyyyy?"
My, my, my, my, my, my...
You used to be such an
Emo guy.
(Interlude)
Hey there Konoha
Now Sasuke's doin' time
In the Hidden Leaf's prison
For his infamous crimes.
Hey little fangirl
Don't you cry no more tears.
He'll be out on good behavior...
IN SEVEN-HUNDRED MORE YEARS!
But now Karin's in therapy!
And Juugo's still nervous!
And Suigetsu's got a job working for the...
Postal Service!
And they say Sakura she's on the phone every night
With a lawyer, negotiating the...
Movie rights!
They're talkin' 'bout...
(Refrain)
The night Sasuke went crazy
The night Uchiha just flipped!
Broke his back for some...
Jacko look'like!
Sounds to me like he was kinda getting' gypped! (Whoa!)
The night Sasuke went crazy
The night emo went insane!
Realized he'd been gettin' the raw deal
Somethin' finally must've snapped in his brain. (Whoa!)
Somethin' finally must've snapped in his brain
Tell ya
Somethin' finally must've snapped...
In his bra-a-ain...
Xxxxxxxx
Merry Christmas to all...but hopefully, you're not gonna die. Otherwise, have a Happy Christmahannukahkwanzaadan.