Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
I wrote this fic after listening to 'The Black Parade' – My Chemical Romance. That wasn't the inspiration but it got me in a philosophical mood. The inspiration came from the anime 'This Ugly Yet Beautiful World'. In it the main character, who is not human but a mass of energy in human form, asks 'Why do you humans honor those who are gone? Are you afraid that you will be forgotten?' Or something to that extent, I liked the idea and I thought Itachi might have the same thought process.
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Why is it that so many of us struggle to remain alive after our death? Why must we suffer so and agonize over the realization of an inevitable truth? This flesh, like these eyes, will fade and be forgotten. We know this but even armed with that knowledge we will fight with all of our remaining light to be a wisp of memory in the future. Is it simply human nature to yearn for attention or is it a defense mechanism used to learn about ourselves?
When I saw my brother that night, collapsed among our fallen family I felt something well up inside me. I did not leave him alive simply because I thought him unworthy, no, I left him to test something other than my abilities. I, unlike so many others, have trouble feeling remorse and guilt. I also struggle with the knowledge that people want to leave behind a legacy. It was my hope that little Sasuke would act as my guilt; that he would live in a way that I could not. It was also my hope that by leaving in such a way I would be remembered. It just seemed to me that in order to understand this innate need I would first have to ensure that it had a chance to happen.
It is possible, that I could have left behind a legacy as a good shinobi. But a record such as that would soon be buried by countless others who made great strides to be heroes. It is no hidden fact that infamous beings will long outlive the beings of good. It is easy to blur the names and faces of those who have done the right thing but it is nearly impossible to keep the shadows of horror away. The same principle applies to almost everything. Do you remember more of your dreams or your nightmares? Do your peers most often recall your triumphs or your shortcomings? Are you better remembered by losing a comrade or bringing them all back?
The decision of whether or not to kill an innocent man, woman, or child comes second nature to me. But these little decisions concerning morality and life trouble me. It's as if the answers are smoke and my only means of catching them are my hands. My brother, troubled though he may be, seems to fair a bit better than I. His betrayal of Konoha and his subsequent allegiance with Orochimaru did alarm me but everything seemed to work out all right in the end.
When word came that he was dead, or supposedly so, I did not know what to make of myself. At first I vowed to myself that I would remember his name until my end and even then I would be sure to pass it on. Even if I cannot grasp the ideals behind remembrance I know he can and would want someone to die with his name on their breath.
But then I thought a bit harder on this news. It lacked a certain quality. It didn't seem as final as it should have been. And then I realized it. My heart was still intact. I have heard it said, even as a child by my mother, that the death of a loved one would affect the heart. I was told that should a precious person suddenly depart from this world your heart would flutter in a painful way then it would weigh heavily until the truth was discovered. As a child I had just assumed that it was one of mothers' silly musings, that it was something to be stored away and never really thought about again.
But my heart does not feel as if it is going to escape from my chest. Instead it seems rather content in its place, beating away without any acknowledgement of the Leaders news.
The rain will let up soon and Kisame and I shall be on our way once more. Perhaps leaving behind a legacy is better suited for someone who watches the sky rather than someone who watches the world. A tear is shed for my brother but nothing more. He is alive, and he will watch the sky again another day. But for now, the storm has passed and I have someone else's legacy to work on.
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This is supposed to take place at the end of chapter 364…I think that's it. The one right after Dei dies and they're out in the rain. Anyways, I hope you liked it. Yes I will be updating "Life Cereal" soon for those of you reading that. I just wrote this out of boredom. When a muse strikes you, you must take advantage of it, yosh!