In Noctem
Carry my soul into the night.
He stood motionlessly in front of the Great Hall, listening to the octaves of the school choral singing a bitter sweet melody- his life theme, a single song expressing everything he had ever wished and hoped for, every single disappointment, grief and agony.
May the stars guide my way. I glory in the sight, as darkness takes my day.
Professor Flitwick directed the students to sing aloud these verses like a mirror to his soul, his ardent thoughts and desires. Oh how he wished they would stop. 'Please', he silently begged, 'please stop'. But deep inside he didn't want them to stop, he wanted them to get on with their singing, for it caused his heart to break, but he welcomed this pain, he yearned for it after all this time of numbness.
All those years he had been living for only one purpose, everything he had done for Harry, whom he so devotedly hated. But he refused to think about it, since it would cause him even more pain. He leaned towards the great portal so as not to miss a single line.
Sing a song, a song of life, made without regret.
‚I have to go' was flashing through his mind, but eventually decided against. It felt so good...
Severus rested one hand on the wooden door, trailed the ancient ornaments with his bare fingers, while listening to the song of his life. He knew what he had to do but was so afraid, even if he once vowed to protect him; he had vowed to protect her son from harm. Lily...always Lily.
'I'm doing my best, Lily', he whispered almost unnoticed,
'I try, Lily, I try.' Silver pearls were running down his cheeks. 'I'm doing this for you. Always, Lily, always you.'
He decided to linger in the doorway for a little while longer. He seriously didn't care about anyone seeing him there. He was sick of keeping his countenance.
'Always you.'
Tell the ones, the ones I loved, I never will forget. Never will forget.
And he collapsed in front of the Great Hall, sorrow running through his every limb. The choral faded away but their voices would echo through his veins forever.