One Shot Series
Also know as:
One Shot Fanfics I'd Make into Novel Length Ones if I Had the Time, Motivation, and Drive.
(also something to amuse whatever is left of my dead rotting fanbase.)
A/N: So I had this thought about ten minutes ago, that is ten minutes ago as of 6:42 p.m. April 1st. That I should just say screw it, and make all those lingering HP fanfiction idea's I dream up while at work into one shots. Why? Because I'd like to get them down in some form to see what people think, and two because sadly I know for a fact that I will never actually write them down completely finished polished up and looking good (not to mention edited with grammatical errors corrected.)….Kind of like the two fanfics I've already started and have been working on since I was in high school…
(a lot of notes ahead, fair warning.)
So I mainly write fanfiction myself because I'm tired of not finding stories out there that I want to read. I have read so many fanfictions that I know what I would like to happen, and in turn those become the stories I write. What I do not understand in this world of copy and paste fanfiction is how people are completely at ease with writing unoriginal work that they publicly admit is unoriginal. Ignoring the fact that ALL fanfiction is by its very nature unoriginal, I am so tired of reading so much trash fanfiction that I have decided to post MY version of some of my favorite situations….
So here is the first one shot.
Harry/Draco fanfictions where Gay=effeminate. Just because Draco likes boys why does that have to mean he's all about accessorizing and nail polish and he cries when the sky isn't blue? Why is it that Draco is the girl while Harry is the boy, maybe I got confused somewhere along the way but I thought since they were gay that meant there were two boys in the situation? And just because it will come up eventually I personally have no problem with the emo trend in music and clothing, but it's rather ridiculous when every single one has to do with suicide, cutting, and so much angst it deserves its own unique genre.
In short, where did the creative part of creative writing disappear too? Cause I would sorely like to join it on its absurdly long vacation. Thank you.
And for those who might be wondering, this is not a farewell to or to writing fanfiction. Truthfully I might eat all these words and actually make all of these into epic fanfictions one day. I just heavily doubt it. So please enjoy and let me know of what you think.
And above all, thank you for reading, thank you most especially for reviewing, and please continue to do so. I enjoy it, and still do.
-Sises
Mr. Potter
To Harry Potter, there was little else that provoked such a sigh of sheer relief and joy then the end of a Potions class; especially when it was a double potions class on a lovely warm Friday afternoon in late spring. Sadly there was at least another ten minutes left of the class, and even if Harry was finished with his potion, Snape wouldn't let him leave a second early. That though didn't stop Harry from snatching his book and parchment, quills and ink and throwing them hap hazard into his book bag, Harry was then just about to vanish what was left of his potion when Ron bumped into him causing his wand aim to go array. Harry's vanishing spell meant for the remains of his potion missed his cauldron entirely and flew across the room.
"Ron." Harry whispered urgently.
"You almost made me vanish someone's face, careful where you're flailing about like that." Ron managed to look apologetic as he began waving off a rather frightening column of smoke that was being emitted by his cauldron.
"Sorry Harry, but I'm having some trouble with my polishing potion, were you supposed to add three flamox toes or just two?" Harry quickly vanished his potion remains correctly, before peering over at Ron's. Where Harry's potion had at least been similar to the velvet blue the book mentions a polishing potion should be, Ron's was an angry vile looking green color. Harry thought it reminded him of a creative mix of drain cleaner, chemically based shampoos, and spoiled soup. It was also creating smoke that was steadily becoming thicker as time went on.
"Truthfully Ron, I have no idea, I added two myself." Both Gryffindors turned to look at their female companion who was quietly reading her potions textbook beside them. Hermione having finished her potions a good deal sooner then anyone else, had already bottled it, turned it in, cleaned up and was now patiently waiting for both Harry and Ron to finish. Looking up from her book she gave a short look at Ron's smoking cauldron before rolling her eyes and huffing her shoulders in a very Hermione-ish way.
"You were supposed to add two flamox toes, and one alligion eye Ron, I'm guessing you forgot the eye and instead added another toe to alleviate the mistake?" Truly Harry thought, if he didn't love the girl as a sister he'd probably find her as much of a bossy know it all as most everyone else did.
"Well that sounds about right yeah." Hermione only shook her head in exasperation, before turning to Harry.
"Yours is looking good Harry, but I think you forgot to add your seven counter clockwise stirs after you took your cauldron off the flame, that's why the potion is looking so light and watery. I think though if you had added some ginger root it might of thickened things up and adding a special bit of sheen to your polish" Harry and Ron both gave a thoughtful nod as if what Hermione had said made perfect sense to them. Ron having decided a failing grade for one day wasn't that bad, was just about to erase the contents of his potion from his cauldron when a looming shadow stopped him in his place. Harry turned in time to see Professor Snape looking as imposing as ever, the only thing about him alive with emotion were his dark eyes.
"Well, what have we here? Miss Granger instructing you two on making your potions and yet you still come up lacking? It is a sad state of affairs when cheating doesn't even help you." Harry was about to think up a quick retort when Hermione started speaking.
"I wasn't instructing them on anything Professor, I was only giving some advice on what they did wrong. It wasn't cheating it-"
"Miss Granger as you are not a teacher I shall let you know that most of teaching is instructing students on what they have done wrong." Hermione swallowed the rest of her sentence as she sat back in her seat. By this time nearly the whole class had abandoned their potions in order to see what was going on between Snape and his three least favorite students.
"Now Mr. Weasley that's a zero today for having failed so utterly, five points off your grade today miss Granger for attempting to cheat, and a zero for you too Mr. Potter for not having done anything at all."
"Actually Professor I did do my potion, its right here." Harry picked up a vial of blue potion that had been on his desk. Snape spent nearly an entire second analyzing Harry's potion vial before dismissing it with a wave of his hand.
"It's a poor example of a polishing potion at best Potter, so you still get a zero for today." Then without so much as another word Snape turned around and walked quietly up to his desk. Over on the other side of the classroom Draco Malfoy was busy trying to keep in the suppressed laughter that Snape had evoked in him. His white hands were wrapped around his middle as he was silently shaking.
Harry gave the boy a sneer and a subtle hand gesture that was missed by most of the class, who had turned back to their own work once Snape walked away.
Draco gave Harry his own rude reply before turning around to finish up his work. Harry still staring at the back of Draco's head was busy thinking up the most effective way to harmlessly set the blonde's precious hair on fire when he felt the air knocked out of him. While staring at the back of Draco's head, Harry failed to see that Draco was in the process of removing his heavy black school robe due to the stifling heat of a class room with fifteen burning cauldrons. As he slid his robes off his shoulders revealing his Green Slytherin tie and standard uniform, Harry was momentarily stunned when he at first thought Draco wasn't wearing any pants. Harry shook his head to clear it of its strange momentary hallucination, only to notice that Draco was definitely sporting nothing below the waist except for a pair of black silk boxer shorts and his polished dragon skin shoes. Harry found himself briefly noticing the stark paleness of the other boys leg's when Draco quickly rewrapped his robes around himself again. Turning around quickly the boy had a shifty look on his face as he checked to see if anyone had noticed his strange situation. Harry for one had the most wonderful idea come into mind, and couldn't help the positively evil grin that took hold of his face. Draco who had been scanning the room for anyone suspicious, guilty, pleased, or otherwise interested faces was quick to see the grin on Harry's face. His own face which had been sporting rather pink cheeks now turned into a full on glare as his hand seemed to move towards a pocket near his waist.
Harry quickly tapped both Ron and Hermione on the shoulder, smirk still in place he put a finger to his mouth issuing them to be quiet, and quickly looked back at the seemingly murderous Draco Malfoy who held a rather tight hold on his school robes. Hermione and Ron both in the middle of putting the last of their things away looked curiously over at Harry who was busy deciding if this act he was about to commit fell under acceptable levels of harassment, or just plain hell damning cruelty. Deciding he didn't care one way or the other Harry took one last look at the murderous look of anger on Draco's face before speaking loudly to the whole class.
"Professor Snape! What is the punishment for breaking school dress code?"
Complete quiet ensued, never in six years had anyone remembered Harry Potter asking Professor Snape a question in potions. Snape himself seemed rather flabbergasted at the new precedent and took a moment to respond.
"What are you blathering on about Mr. Potter?"
"Dress code sir, I was wondering what the punishment for breaking school dress code was sir, because Malfoy hasn't been following it all day." Small whispers started up in the class room, as did several curious looks between both Draco and Harry, particularly by Ron and Hermione who were unable to tell exactly what kind of trouble Harry was getting himself into.
"Mr. Potter what do you mean breaking the dress code? Draco is clearly wearing his Slytherin robes, shirt, tie, and shoes. What lies are you making up now? Five poin-"
"I'm not lying Professor, Malfoy isn't wear any pants." Snape paused. His glaze moved slowly from Harry to Draco, who quickly shook his head, tightened his hold on his robes and threw one last glare at Harry.
"He's lying Professor, why wouldn't I be wearing any pants?" Harry had to give the boy credit, his voice didn't waver and if he didn't know better he would have believed him. Except for the fact that it was quite obvious that his hand was clutching his robes from the inside of his pocket.
"Yes…yes of course, once again Mister Potter, I would ask that you not tell lies about other students."
"I'm not lying professor Malfoy came to class without any pants on and-"
"I did not Potter!"
"You did too I saw!"
"Shut up Potter! This is quite ridiculous and I-" in the midst of the three of them shouting at one another all at once, no one noticed when Ron pushed Harry aside to get a better view of Malfoy, reach out his wand and vanish Draco's robes from right around his body. That is no one noticed anything until Hermione let out a shriek of laughter that caught everyone's brief attention. The next second all eyes were turned on Draco who even after admitting a brief shout of indignation managed to transfigure himself a set of robes to replace the just disappeared. But no one was able to miss the brief look they had of Draco's pale legs and the black silk boxers with the small silver Slytherin insignia that he wore underneath them. No one knew what to do, Professor Snape even seemed to be in a momentary trance of confusion. The next moment as Harry was sending his best victory grin Draco's way, Snape spoke once more.
"Alright, this is ridiculous, all of you class is over get out of this room immediately." Harry Ron and Hermione, and Draco too truth be told, were all surprised that Snape was going to play dumb through out the entire incident, and Harry himself was about to complain when Hermione started pushing him incessantly towards the door.
It was as he was halfway through to the corridor, when Snape yelled once more for Harry and Draco to stay behind. Bidding Hermione and Ron a cheerless farewell Harry turned right around and walked back towards Snape's desk, wondering what sort of punishment he was about to receive for pointing out that another student was breaking the rules.
Snape for his part gave off no indication of what he might be thinking, and waited for both students to walk up to his desk, his eyes seeming to bore into both of them at the same time.
"Now, explain this, specifically where Mr. Malfoy, are your bloody pants? And how Mr. Potter here knew you were not wearing any pants this morning?"
"It's Potter's fault professor, he vanished my pants."
"I did not-"
"Shut up Potter! Alright Draco, but then why did you not go and get another pair of pants before entering my classroom? Have you no sense of decency Mr. Malfoy?"
"He did it while we were in class Professor, I'm not entirely sure when exactly, but I would of know if I hadn't been wearing pants before coming into class sir."
Harry was near simmering with rage at the unjust way in which everything was going, not that he was entirely surprised at the outcome since it did involve Snape. But for once he was entirely guiltless, he knew for a fact that he hadn't done anything to Malfoy's pants, the only time he had used a vanishing spell was when he was vanishing his potion…Harry thought about when Ron had bumped him in his first attempt to vanish his cauldrons contents, and suddenly remembered how his aim had gone wild. Had he actually vanished Malfoy's pants on accident? He had to half congratulate himself if he had, bloody brilliant idea that he should of thought about years ago, if only it wasn't about to put him in detention for something no one could prove.
Snape actually seemed to be buying the impossible story, and slowly directed his eyes towards Harry.
"Alright Mr. Potter, why don't you give me your story as fantastic and impossible to believe as I'm sure it is?"
"I didn't vanish his pants sir." Snape raised an eyebrow.
"Oh? And then how exactly did his pants disappear then? How did you know about them no longer being on his person?"
"I didn't vanish them! How could I? He was wearing his robes all class. Was I supposed to vanish them while he had his robes down to his shoes? I noticed when Malfoy took his robes off for a brief second. That must have been when he noticed as well because he put them back on rather quickly sir." Snape seemed to ponder his statement for a moment, no doubt finding some way in which to lay blame on him. Harry in a fit of anger, decided he may as well earn the detention Snape was going to give him arbitrarily.
"If your suggesting sir that my wand aim is good enough to hit Malfoy's pants while he was bending over his cauldron with maybe an inch of pant leg showing, then I guess I might have to take such a compliment." Snape sneered down at Harry.
"Twenty points from Gryffindor for your cheek Potter, now get out of here. You too Mr. Malfoy I don't want to see either of you again today, and if I ever have to see a single student with a shred of clothing less then what is required by school code I will be looking at the two of you cleaning my cauldrons for a week. Now get out."
Harry relieved and surprised that all he was getting was a few measly points taken away, was more then happy to leave the dark classroom.
Minutes later walking down the last dungeon corridor, Harry was on his way up to the Gryffindor common room to tell Hermione and Ron about the entire conversation in the Potions classroom, and his possible part in why it all happened. Suddenly though Harry felt a hand turn him around, and roughly push him up against the stone wall. His startled "Hey" was interrupted when the stone collided unforgiving against his back.
Looking around Harry noticed that it was Draco who had attacked him so randomly.
"What do you want Malfoy? I didn't do anything to your damn pants!" Harry saw the sneer on the boys face and wanted to hit him. Every year it was him and Malfoy, him and Malfoy getting into the same shit, the same stupid tripe all the time.
"The fuck you didn't Potter! What the hell trying to get me in trouble with something so lame as dress code! And I want my fucking pants back too, those were fitted Italian trousers flown over on broomstick! That shits expensive!" It took Harry a moment to actually register exactly what Draco had just said before he burst into laughter.
"What the fuck are you laughing at Potter!" Harry took a few deep breaths to calm himself wiping a bit of moisture from his eyes.
"You wear fitted Italian pants? I knew you were a snob I never knew you were gay Malfoy!" Harry watched as Draco's face went from shocked anger to something almost like embarrassment quickly to a horrified look before it went back to anger. Harry in that moment had a shining revelation. Malfoy doesn't take kindly to assaults on his sexuality.
"You-you-"
"You really ARE a fag Malfoy?! Wow I never would of guessed actually, though I don't know why it makes so much sense!" Harry tried his best to keep a straight face as he pushed his way past the stunned looking blonde Slytherin, and continued walking down the corridor. He had made it maybe ten feet before hearing Draco yelling at him once more.
"Get back here Potter!" Turning around Harry gave Draco his most ridiculous grin ever before replying
"Or what Malfoy, are you going to hit me?" with that Harry raised his hands as if to prepare for a fistfight, but at the last second he let his right wrist go limp, and allowed his hand to dangle non-threateningly in the air. Giving one last chuckle for the blondes expense Harry turned around once more and started walking away, thinking fondly on the look on Draco's face when he had laid that last insult at him. Harry Potter 3 Draco Malfoy 0. Life is looking good today.. This time he barely got three feet before he felt himself being turned around by the blonde, and before Harry could so much as utter a startled "Hey" he felt a fist colliding with his face, forcing him to the side, and down on one knee. His glasses had been swung clear off his face and were now sitting somewhere else on the cold stone floor.
Surprise was the first thing Harry felt, as he regained his wits. Harry having never took much stock in Draco's physical prowess, was more then surprised to find that the smaller boy could actually throw a decent punch. Glancing up at the shorter blonde, Harry squinted through the blurriness of his vision to note that Draco himself seemed rather pleased with the outcome of the attack.
"Ready to take that back and give me my FUCKING pants now Potter!" Harry feeling that the day couldn't get much better unless he was given a good reason to punch Malfoy in the face, answered in kind with his own punch. Vision being bad from not having his glasses, Harry's punch missed Malfoy's nose and instead hit in directly in his left eye, causing a howl of pain from the Slytherin.
With that the two boys went at it, punches and jabs thrown in with a recklessness that can only be seen in a proper school yard fight. Harry himself was quite pleased with the turn out, as he was sure he had gotten more then a few good punches in before someone came along to interrupt the entire thing. A loud bang companied by a burst of bright light, stopped the fight before it had really done much damage at all. A female's shrill voice yelling for the two to stop, caused the boys to back up several feet apart.
"What kind of lunacy is this? Two seventh years both of upstanding report brawling in the middle of a corridor? I would like to think students of your age would have more sensibility and maturity to do such a thing, but when it comes to the two of you, it seems standard rules never apply." Harry having expected Snape to be the one to come across the scene, was only partially relieved to find that it was Professor McGonagall instead. Having more or less done fine this year, getting into much less trouble then normal, Harry did feel a tad embarrassed by letting the old witch down.
"Normally I would like an explanation as to the reason behind these events, but with the two of you it hardly matters, if I wasn't in such a hurry I would drag the two of you back to my office my your ears, but as matters stand, you both will have detention tonight after dinner. Come to my office straight afterwards and I shall find you something suitable to do."
Harry nodded politely to the head of Gryffindor, before walking calmly in the direction of the great hall. He vaguely heard Malfoy say something about the Hospital wing, but was more listening for McGonagall's response.
"Mr. Malfoy you are fine, stop acting like such a child and be on your way."
Harry smiled all the way to lunch.
Dinner was always a more interesting affair when there was news to share. Harry having already told Hermione and Ron the events regarding both the potions class, and his small tussle with Malfoy, was now reliving the event for his fellow Gryffindors: Dean, Shamus, Neville, and Ginny.
"-and as I was leaving, McGonagall was telling Malfoy not to be such a priss, and to stop complaining!" The table was lit up with laughter again as Harry finished his tale. More then a few students had congratulated Harry on "giving one" to Malfoy. Hermione it seemed was the only one who didn't find the matter amusing.
"Harry though I don't mind it when Malfoy gets what he deserves, you really shouldn't tempt fate that way, you could of gotten in more trouble then just a detention."
Harry waived off Hermoine's fears with a casual wave of his hand, complete with dinner roll he was busy spreading butter on.
"Don't worry Hermione, I didn't get into too much trouble, and Malfoy has a nice shiner to ward off all the women with." Ron finishing a large gulp of his pumpkin juice, turned to Harry and added his own advice.
"You got yourself a nice little bruise going on your jaw too Harry, who would of thought the ferret had such a good arm on him?" Harry for the seventh time that evening, briefly touched the sore spot on his jaw where Malfoy's fist had connected with it. True, Malfoy did have a stronger punch then one would of first suspected. And here I thought there might have been something to that whole gay thing…
Back at the Slytherin table, Draco was for once not reveling in a good Potter thrashing story. In fact Draco had been rather quite all evening, and some of his housemates that considered themselves to be close to the blonde, found this to be rather unsettling. Pansy Parkinson, a girl of average at best looks and below average intelligence was currently trying to flirt with the silent blonde over her goblet of pumpkin juice.
"Good to know you gave that Potter what he deserves Draco, I always knew you were a real man, and knew when to show it to weaklings like those silly Gryffindors." Draco for his part wasn't evening paying attention to the girl, he was in fact reading through a potions book on his lap, while unbeknownst to most of the school, stirring a small goblet of simmering potion on the bench next to him.
"What exactly is that again Draco? I didn't think you were one to be doing school work at dinner." Blaise Zabini asked, always the quiet one, Zabini was quite good at collecting seemingly irrelevant information for those who didn't pay attention. Draco though being naturally wary and distrustful of pretty much everyone, didn't answer the boy either, but continued to stir his potion, adding the last ingredient, a small pinch of mint leaves. Draco smiled to himself when the potion immediately stopped smoking, just as the book said. Scanning over the text he checked to see if he had missed any steps, not a particularly difficult potion, even the smallest mistake could leave his potion poisonous, extremely potent, or just as useful as water.
This will get that damn Potter back, he won't fucking know what hit him. Make my pants vanish…let's just see what detention has in store for us tonight…
After dinner, Harry gave his quick good-byes to both Hermione and Ron, and made his way up to McGonagall's office, wondering what his detention would entail. Making his way through the corridor, Harry tentatively knocked on the door, half hoping that the witch wasn't there, leaving him free to "wait" until he could reasonable say he thought his detention wasn't taking place.
Sadly though he heard McGonagall clearly ask him to enter barely a second after his knock, and opening the door he noticed that Malfoy was already there, standing next to McGonagall's desk. Professor McGonagall herself was sitting down at her desk, casually grading papers, Harry assumed they must be first or second year papers, as he hoped she wasn't so careless with her grades when it came to her more advanced classes. Malfoy, still sporting his black eye looked more or less the same as ever, bored to be there. Harry noted with amusement though that he was at least wearing his pants, an identical pair to the ones he had lost in class.
"Now, I believe I have some up with a suitable punishment for the two of you, I had heard from Professor Snape that there was something of an encounter between the two of you in Potions this afternoon, and I am going to assume that was more or less what sparked the fight earlier. Now I could both give the two of you a lecture on responsibility and acting like adults, but it never seems to work. So I believe I am just going to have the two of you clean the quidditch locker rooms, all four of them, the entire locker rooms, showers too, tonight, without magic."
Harry was stunned for the briefest moment before finding his thoughts again.
"But Professor! That's going to take ages!" Harry looked down at his watch before turning back to his head of house. "And it's already nearly 8 o'clock!"
Draco mumbled something about "servants work" before McGonagall held up one small hand to stop any further protests.
"First of all Mr. Malfoy, some 'servants work' might do you some good, second Mr. Potter, yes it will take some time, but as it is a Friday evening, you don't have classes in the morning, so you both can sleep in to your leisure, also maybe some old fashion manual labor will tired you two out. Perhaps it is nothing more then excessive energy that has kept the two of you so high strung. What with the quidditch season over, I understand if you both feel like you need something to do with all that energy. Let us see what comes out of this shall we? Now, your buckets and cleaning supplies are already waiting for the two of you down at the pitch. I will take your wands, and in the morning you can have them back."
Harry was trying to think of something that might save him from several hours of needless cleaning, but couldn't think of anything. As the two of them made their way out of her office, Professor McGonagall spoke once more to them.
"And I will be personally checking the locker rooms myself to make sure you did as instructed, if I find that you two did not do an adequate job, you will find yourselves back down there tomorrow evening as well."
With those parting words of hope, Harry resigned himself to a night of massive cleaning.
Walking slowly after Potter as the two of them made there way to the quidditch pitch, Draco would of normally wished for pretty much anything to come along and distract him, if not take him away completely from the task he was going to be forced to complete. Washing locker rooms…urgh, you think they could at least think up a punishment that would challenge us as students…But that was until he saw his shining distraction and moment of amusement come around the corner, and it went by the name of Pansy Parkinson.
"Draco! There you are, I was wondering where you got off too. You disappeared without saying a word to me." Draco not in the mood in the slightest to put up with Pansy's perverse and pathetic attempts to endear herself to him, decided harsh was probably the nicest way to let her down, if not just the most amusing.
"That's because I didn't really want to share anything with you, I don't particularly care what you think I might be doing. Or who." Pansy seemed too surprised by the usually stoic boys cold words. Her eyes lit up with something Draco assumed to be pain before shifting into a more usual look he was used to: anger.
"Draco Malfoy you are nothing but a pig, and a spoiled child. You care so little for the people around you, I could go off and date a poor pauper of a blood traitor like Weasley and you probably wouldn't so much as bat an eyelash you're so stuck up in your own life!" Draco only shrugged his shoulders as he walked past her towards the schools entrance.
" That's because I don't give a damn Parkinson." Not caring really what her answer to his retort was, Draco continued on, only hearing what he thought was a stifled chuckle come from Potter up ahead.
"Shut up Potter! Mind your own business!" He only heard the boy's laughter even louder in response.
Down at the quidditch pitch, things were pretty much as Harry had thought they would be, quite horrible. Two buckets, each complete with a mop and several sponges for scrubbing were sitting next to the entrance to the students locker rooms. Without so much as a word to Malfoy , Harry picked up one of buckets and walked down the hallway, stopping at the first locker room on his right, which happened to belong to the Ravenclaw's. Pushing the door with the purple and bronze raven emblem open, Harry thought best to start at the most arbitrary spot he could, so he chose the showers. Starting to douse his mop in what seemed to be an ever full bucket of soapy water, Harry went about the monotonous job of mopping tile. A task he had done more then a handful of times in the Dursley's kitchen. So engrossed with his mopping Harry didn't notice when Malfoy came into the room only a moment after him, he did notice though when a second mop came splattering down next to him.
Stopping more in stunned surprise then anything else, Harry took a second to admire the vision of Draco Malfoy doing manual labor, before saying something.
"Well I guess I was wrong, and here I thought you wouldn't know how to use a mop Malfoy." Malfoy continued with his mopping.
"It's a mop Potter, any simpleton can understand the idea behind soap, water, and scrubbing dirt away. Except perhaps Weasley, but I never did take stock in his intelligence much."
Harry, deciding now wouldn't be the best time to defend his best friends honor, decided to let the comment fly.
"Well what are you doing in this locker room? You could at least start on a different one, so we don't have to see each other the entire night."
Malfoy continued to mop away, as if he rather didn't care if he was even here or not. Harry thinking back to the scattered bits of the conversation he heard between Malfoy and Parkinson, thought maybe Malfoy didn't really care what he was doing or where. Harry had always thought Malfoy and Parkinson were an item, blessed to spend the rest of their miserable lives together spawning horribly ugly and rude children like the spoiled rich pureblood sycophants they were.
Harry noticed that Malfoy still hadn't answered his question, but he had stopped his mopping. Harry watched as the smaller boy rooted around in his pockets for a moment, before taking out what looked to be a small potion vial. Malfoy removed the small stopper from the vial, before turning to look over at Harry.
"The reason Potter that I don't plan on staying in some other locker room all night, is because I'm curious what this does." And before Harry could so much as duck, Malfoy tossed the contents of the vial at him. A light stream of shimmering blue liquid flew out of the small vial and splattered Harry all over his face and clothing. Bracing himself for the feeling of some sort of burning hot potion, or boil inducing draught, Harry was quite surprised when the potion made him feel cooler more then anything.
"Wha- what the fuck Malfoy! What potion was that, a calming one? I don't know what kind of revenge that is, but the worst you did was stain my robes." Indeed besides the rather refreshing feeling (Harry could only liken it to the feeling of having strong mint flavored gum in his mouth.) that the potion brought on, Harry noticed that there was a rather dark splotch on his tie, shirt, and even his hand. Not able to see properly, Harry assuming there must be some on his face as well.
Malfoy for his part looked confused, taking what looked to be a torn piece of parchment out of his pocket he continually glanced from the parchment, to the vial, to Harry, his facing looking confused.
Harry no longer really caring what Malfoy was up too, decided to remove the now stained articles of clothing, before Malfoy decided to throw anything else on them. Taking his robe off, Harry placed it on a hook on the wall, he unstrung his tie and placed it too on the wall. Starting on his shirt Harry carefully removed all the buttons before slipping the shirt out from his trousers, and then placing it on another hook, and then going back to his mop.
While Harry was off removing his stained clothing, Draco was busy looking over all the ingredients of the chaffing potion, and mentally checking his facts and steps taken. How the hell did this go wrong? It says right here, three mint leaves, a dash of table salt, meshron root…I added it all! I even stirred the damn thing for twenty minutes!
Mumbling to himself the unfairness of it all, Draco decided though a failed attempt, it wasn't anything too bad. Putting both the vial and parchment away he was still rather ticked at the whole event, and more to make a mess then anything else, Draco violently brought his mop out of his bucket, sending soapy water all over the adjacent wall and floor for nearly seven feet. It was with a feeling of small joy that Draco realized he had managed to douse Potter ever so much with the soapy water. This was also the first time Draco noticed that Potter wasn't wearing a shirt. Temporarily wondering if perhaps his potion did work, Draco felt he may as well ask.
"Why exactly are you shirtless potter? This isn't exactly a gentlemen's club now is it? Were you feeling a little itchy under those clothes?" Draco noticed that for all his jibs about Potter being scrawny and thin, without his shirt, Draco was forced to admit the Gryffindor was actually more in shape then what he had expected.
"Merlin's balls Malfoy, I took my shirt off because you stained it with your lousy potion, stop throwing a fit and get back to wo-rrh-k." Draco raised an eyebrow at the obvious slur in Potters speech. Draco watched as Potter began to shift awkwardly, his skin getting a rather red look to it. Draco smiled, it seemed his potion just took a little time to get working is all.
Harry's shifting turning into actual fidgeting, his hands started to clench as Harry fought to control what it was that was happening to him.
"Malfoy what was that potion you tossed on me?" Not caring at the moment that Malfoy had gotten one up on him, Harry was more curious as to why he was feeling this particular feeling. Like his body's temperature was slowly rising, bringing with it a most uncomfortable tingling feeling.
Harry was finding the air in the locker rook to be quite uncomfortable, as if the humidity had risen unexpectedly. He clenched his hands together at his sides, not wanting to give in to the temptation to rub his hands over his skin to alive the strange sensations on them.
"Relax Potter, its nothing too horrible, just a bit of chafing potion to make your clothing feel like there's insects crawling around inside." Harry tried to ignore the look of satisfaction on Malfoy's face. Turning around Harry looked in vain for something in which he might be able to use to stop the potions effects, or to pummel Malfoy with. He didn't find much, except his mop. Harry hated the exposed powerless feeling being without his wand gave him, like a child lost in the woods with no idea what to go or how to get home.
"Well your potion making sucks Malfoy, this definitely isn't a chafing potion you doused me with…its…much different then that." Harry glanced turned towards the showers, and he imagined the shower heads looking innocent and all together unremarkable, but his eyes lit up. Maybe he could wash the potion off of his skin. Walking towards the showers Harry was trying to ignore the rather painful way his shoes felt rubbing against his feet.
"Please Potter, what would you know about potion making? So the potion didn't take effect right away, few potions do! Its probably just a bit stronger then one would of expected! Calm down and just feel horrible for the next few hours, while we finish our work." Malfoy tossed Harry's back a look of bewilderment as he saw the taller Gryffindor head towards the showers.
"What are you doing Potter? You can't just wash the potion off! You have to wait out the effects."
"I'm still not confident you know what the hell your talking about Malfoy, this potion isn't doing what you think it is, and I for one really need to get this off of me."
"I didn't fuck the potion up Potter! I followed the directions perfectly, just because you couldn't make a potion to save your ass, doesn't mean we all are as inept as you are!"
"Well maybe the soap you splashed on me during your little temper tantrum screwed with the potion then!"
Draco was about to laugh at the boy's pathetic comeback when a thought came to him. The soap could of changed the properties of the potion…soap is nothing more then a chemical formula anyways, and so even ordinary muggle soap could prove disastrous results when unknowingly mixed with a potion. And magical soap could have virtually any effect at all when mixed with a potion. Draco's eyes lit up in slight apprehension. If this soap is magical virtually anything could happen to Potter! He could of burst into flames for all I know! Looking down at his bucket, Draco didn't notice anything overtly magical about the suds in his water, they looked plain to him. Dipping a hand in them he noticed they didn't feel any different either. They don't sparkle, it doesn't feel warm, or particularly oily or anything really. Draco's look of apprehension didn't dissipate though. He took one more look at his bucket before looking up to see that Potter had dissevered behind the wall separating the showers from the rest of the locker room.
"Potter wait!" but before he had even got the words out, Draco heard the sound of the shower turning on, quickly followed by the sound of Potter letting out a loud yelp.
Ignoring whatever thoughts were going through his head, Draco all but ran towards the showers to see what had happened to the Gryffindor. Turning the sharp corner, Draco was greeted with the sight of a naked Harry Potter all but cowering from the stream of water coming forth from the silver shower head.
"Malfoy what are you doing!" Potter screamed at him, not even looking embarrassed by his state of undress.
"Wondering what the hell you're doing Potter! Why are you screaming and why exactly are you naked!" Draco forced his eyes to stay above the boys nose, not even trusting them to look at the boys collar bone for fear of seeing something he didn't want to see.
"I'm naked because I'm trying to take a shower to wash off this shit you put on me Malfoy! And I'm screaming as you put it because the water is bloody freezing!" Draco decided to ignore most of the boys sentence and concentrate on the facts.
"Why are you washing it off with cold water? Warm water is whats going to wash the potion off, if there is anything left to wash off."
Draco watched as the boy shyly put his stained hand in the water. Though the water did wash the stained blue of the potion away, as soon as it had gone Harry pulled his hand back in with a muttered oath.
"Turn the water up if its so cold Potter, it won't do good for you to freeze yourself to death." His only real answer was a glare. Sticking himself back in the water, he barely held himself under it before jumping back out.
"Son of a jumping Merlin, the water is freezing…"
"Then why don-"
"Because I'm burning up Malfoy! That potion you threw at me made me feel all minty fresh, and now its making me feel like it's a sauna in here!"
Draco brows came together in thought. He didn't like the idea of Potter receiving a fever from his potion. It wasn't even all that warm in the room, and if Potter was correct about what he was saying then Draco could get in serious trouble if anything actually happened to the wonder boy.
Stepping forward Draco put his own hand into the water stream, bracing himself the icy cold of the water. He was more then surprised to find that the water was actually luke warm, only slightly chilly actually.
"What are you doing M-"
"The waters not even cold Potter. Its practically room temperature." Harry's face showed confusion. Stepping forward to stand beside Malfoy, he too put his hand in the water only to once again pull it back from the shock of touching something so chill.
"Feels damn cold to me Malfoy."
Draco was not starting to get worried, the water was if anything a little cold, but no where near the icy cold Potter was talking about. If anything it should be just fine if he's suffering from a slight fever, and if his fever was more severe then the water should be too warm if anything. Reaching for the knob, Draco turned the water temperature down a bit, until it was about a normal temperature of cold. Nothing shocking, but the type of cold that felt good after a long quidditch practice on a summers day.
"Something's not right, try this Potter, tell me what it feels like now." Harry once again placed his hand inside the water stream, only to pull it back faster then ever. His entire body shook with a shiver that caused his limps to flail about, nearly smacking Draco in the face, if he hadn't caught Potter's hand in his own. All at once Draco felt the heat coming off from Potter's body, and it confused him. If he had been feeling that warm, a cold shower would of felt blissful, not terrifying. Draco removed his hands and failed to notice that Harry was much calmer then he had been for the last several minutes.
"Wait-what. What did you do?" Harry's voice seemed to be loosing some of its strength as his eyes drooped.
"Potter?! Whats going on, you need to tell me what you are feeling."
Draco started to feel panicked in earnest now, as the boy started to look like he was loosing strength right before his eyes. The boy was practically swaying as he struggled to stay standing.
"I feel really weak all of a sudden, but your hand felt amazingly cool. What-wha-did-d you Malfoy?"
"I didn't do anything potter, I just grabbed your hand so you wouldn't hit me."
Confused Malfoy felt out of his limit, here he was more or less entirely responsible for doing something to Harry Potter, and he had no wand to even begin to correct the fact that the boy looked like he was going to pass out in front of him.
"mmh" Harry mumbled as his entire body slumped forward, falling directly into Draco, which pushed him back into the stream of chilly water.
Catching the boy as he fell into him, Draco once again was surprised and somewhat fearful of the heat emanating from him. Like the boy had a warmth charm on him, Draco could almost feel the heat through his clothing. The blast of cold water the hit him when he stumbled back was a massive wakeup call to him, and to Harry would started practically screaming as he struggled to get away from the cold. Draco more out of instinct then anything else, twisted the knob on the shower wall until it was nearly on the hottest temperature. Suddenly everything seemed to change, the icy cold water which was drenching Draco, his cloths, and the near comatose naked Harry Potter, turned at once into a fierce yet wonderful waterfall of warmth.
Harry seemed to wake out of his mini slumber, as he let out a sigh of pleasure that Draco had mentally released. Trying not to think of his probably ruined soaking wet clothes, Draco tried to just get the naked man who was slumped over on top of him to stand properly.
"Come on Potter get up, I can't hold you ass here all night." Draco slipped on the wet floor and suddenly the next thing he knew he was now on the floor with Potter on top of him, the hot water flowing down on the both of them.
"Ouch" mumbled Draco, the air knocked out of his lungs.
"Oh…uh…that feels really good…Malfoy what did you do?"
"Uh water, I think you need warm water for some reason." Potter just let out a groan that Draco took to be some sort of sign of approval.
Shifting around, Draco tried not to think how awkward the situation was, he also tried not to think about how he had a wet naked extremely warm body on top of him. But with the closeness between the two, Draco couldn't help but feel the levels of heat protruding off the of Gryffindor, that coupled with the warmth of the water, made Draco feel like he was encased within a warm blanket, albeit a wet one.
"Potter I think you nee-" trying to push the boy off of him, Draco barely got he boys head off his shoulder when he caught sight of his eyes. Never having been this close to him before, Draco was surprised by just how green and yet out of focus they were when the most unexpected thing happened. Potter kissed him.
Shock, confusion, these were not words that could describe fully what was going through Draco's mind at the time. It took more then a moment for his mind to catch up to what exactly was going on, before he made the effort to break off the kiss.
"What the bleeding fuck was that Potter?!" Draco managed to yell, still trying in vain to get the boy off him.
"Um…I dunno, it feels good?" Draco didn't know why it sounded like a question, and was about to start smacking his fellow student around when the unexpected happened again. Potter kissed him again, and again, and then broke off the third kiss and proceeded to kiss a trail down his cheek to his jaw line, then down to his neck. "Dammit Potter, what is wrong with you!" He didn't answer, only continued to molest parts of Draco with his mouth. Struggling to push the boy off him Draco was stunned in place when he felt Potter's hands start to move on him. His mind stopped working properly at this point leaving him unable to think of anything except how much the boy's kisses left a scorching mark of heat on every part they touched for the briefest moment afterwards, and where Potter's hand was going to go next. Draco was having the hardest time thinking coherent thoughts until he found himself being kissed on the lips most fiercely by Potter for the fourth time in less then a minute.
They continued like that for a moment or two, as Harry's body started to get some life back into it, his hands and arms started moving grasping whatever they found. Draco against his own will he was sure, found himself somewhat turned on by these rather strange events. But his mind kept telling him it was due to the warm water, and the fact that any man would be attracted to a wet naked body on top of them leaving scorching kisses all over his exposed skin.
"Potter I think the warm water is doing something weird to you, or maybe the potion, or hell maybe it's a full moon. But this isn't like you, and I-I think you need to stop before anything else strange happens." Draco felt Potters hands moving down his shirt and towards his waist. He held his breath as he felt Potter tugging around his trouser waist, only to bring his shirt out from his pants and start running his hand under his shirt. Oh bloody hell I don't think I like where this is going.
Draco tried to shut his eyes and wish of easier things, hoping for some strange reason this was just some awkward dream. No, nightmare this would definitely qualify as a nightmare. Not a dream! But when he opened his eyes all he saw was Potter's face and those bright green eyes as the boy closed down on him and tried to kiss him once again. But he didn't go for his mouth, instead the boy veered to the side and stopped just shy of Draco's ear.
"Just you wait and I'll give you something strange." Potter then of all things licked Draco's ear, before going back to what he was originally planning on doing, and kissing Draco something fierce, it was sometime around the point where Draco drew in a sharp intake of air due to Potter nipping ever so slightly on his lip that Draco lost all sense of himself and did the unthinkable. He kissed back.
Harry tried not to think of why the silence in the locker room was so awkward as he was pulling up his pants. He tried not to think of what just happened, or of the slight soreness he felt in certain parts of his body, nor the marks he was sure to have the following morning.
Sneaking a look over at his companion, he noticed more then a couple scratch marks on the boys pale back, before Malfoy threw a shirt on and started buttoning it. Harry winced at the sight, but he wasn't quite sure why exactly. Reaching for a sock that he wasn't quite sure was his or not, Harry decided that enough was enough, and some time of understanding of not just plain confirmation had to take place. Taking a deep breath, Harry continued to tell himself he was a Gryffindor for a reason. Gryffindor's were supposed to be brave.
"So…"
"Yeah." Was Malfoy's response. Harry tried not to think how stupid this whole thing sounded. And he wondered briefly what must be going through Malfoy's mind. Unknown to him, Malfoy was unable to really decide exactly what he thought about the events of the last hour. His mind was stuck somewhere along the lines of. I just fucked Potter…I just…I…Fucked….Potter…We had sex…me and Potter…fucked…
Minutes later found the two students fully dressed and silently leaving the locker room, bypassing the other three rooms, they made their way to the quidditch pitch.
The night was still dark, as no more then three hours had even passed since they had first entered the pitch with nothing but detention on their minds. Harry stopped for a moment to take in the cool night air, so refreshing after going through whatever strange effects the botched potion had left on him. Like having my whole body on fire, except the only thing that can cool me down is heat…It was an odd set of circumstances that brought him to this point in time…and yet.
He looked over to his side to notice Malfoy was already leaving the pitch, water bucket left at the door. Deciding that he really didn't have much left to loose truthfully, Harry braved another sentence.
"You know we never did finish cleaning really any of the locker rooms." The sentence hung in the air for a moment, but Malfoy did stop walking.
Harry decided it was best to keep going before he stopped himself.
"And uh, that means we're going to have to come back here and clean them all over again tomorrow night." Harry thought about his wording, but that just caused him to think over his own sanity.
"What's your point Potter?" Malfoy's voice lacked its usual sarcasm and drawl, he sounded tired and different to Harry's ears. Harry licked his suddenly dry lips, trying not to think about what he was going to say. He hadn't even really thought it out, didn't know if it was something he really wanted, would live to regret or not.
"Well, um. Would you want to. I mean, well, um. Fuck it, would you like to do this again?" Harry tried not to think how stupid that sounded, how insane, and ridiculous, and pathetic, and how stupid he must look, he tried not to think of a million things. Looking over at the other boy, he couldn't tell at all what was going on in his head, except the expected laughter or insult hadn't come. Harry was about to try and repeat himself when Malfoy finally spoke.
"Sure."
A/N: Ok everyone, I hope you liked this little one shot idea that's been flying around in my head for awhile. Technically it was designed to be more then just a one shot, but like I said, I don't have nor will I probably ever have the drive to continue this as I would of wanted too. Either way though, tell me what you think, leave a response. And in case the title confused you the next "Chapter" will be another one shot, by the name of "Most Potent Potions Professor." Give me any ideas you might have for other one shots you might like to see, I think I might take some requests and see what I can do with them. Thank you.
oh and just plain reviews are awesome too, thanks again.
-Sises