Disclaimer: We don't own any of the characters in this fan fiction as we do not own Twilight!

Author's note: Our names are Bella (yes, yes… that is my real name.) and India. This story is the result of an English lesson watching ourselves on the TV performing a Midsummer Night's Dream…..not as exciting as you think, in fact very embarrassing. We each wrote about a paragraph and then passed it on to the other person to continue the story. We loved it (not meaning to brag) so much that we published it and read it to all our friends (TESSIE!!!) Who for some reason did not share our thorough enjoyment! Dammit! Indy stop rambling But I love rambling. Anyway….

Just to clear things up:

Bold writing = Bella's part of the story or Bella talking (Hi!)

Bold writing with an underline= Bella interrupting the story

Italics = Indy talking or Indy's part of the story

Italics with an underline = Indy interrupting the story.

Once upon a time in a far away land named "Forks" lived a vampire, who everyday must face the problem of being a social reject. His name was Egeus. Egeus hated the name he had been born with so instead told everyone that would listen that his name was Edward. Edward was best friends with two werewolves from La Push, the much hotter, Jacob and Seth …..died in a freak accident whilst lifting weights. Now poor Edward roams the corridors of his stingy high school searching for his one true friend, who would not only put up with, but enjoy his company. He was about to give up forever, but wait! On the first, rainy day of the school year came a student by the name of Bella Swan. The instant Edward saw Bella he knew what his life ambition was to be! His life's calling was to stalk Bella Swan. From then on he followed her everywhere and every time she turned around he was there staring very closely at the back of her head. He even watched her sleep and when he got bored with that he would go downstairs and watch Charlie sleep.

One night Edward sat in Bella's room staring at her pale, vulnerable figure, squirming as nightmares threatened her sleeping mind. At 3am Edward suddenly heard a loud snore coming from the depths of her doona. *Snore*! Another one! Edward thought. He, being a social reject, had absolutely no idea what a snore was and jumped out the window in fright. What was that noise?! He thought. As Edward reached the ground he had completely forgot about landing. He turned his head only to see he had landed on Bella's father (the chief of police)'s police car (Phew! I thought you were going to say he landed on Bella's father!)(Shut up Indy! Stick to the story) (Fine…. I will continue)- As it was 3am Charlie had gotten up for his morning jog. "You ready for our jog hun?"

"Coming Dad" Bella called as she pulled on a pair of skinny licra (we finally found a word spell check can't spell… and you thought you were so smart, spell checker!!!) (If you are still wondering what the word is it is pronounced lie-kra)

She jogged down the stairs and saw Charlie staring at Edward Cullen! Edward's cheeks were bulging. It looked as though he had put a car in his mouth!

(Myyyyyyyy turn!)

"Edward! How are you dude", asked Charlie saying dude is the first step to being cool! Thought Charlie. Edward could only respond by nodding his head.

Edward started to panic and even though he had been taught that it is forbidden for vampires to eat human food, or a car at that matter, decided the only option left was to swallow the car.

As the muscles in his throat pushed the colossal car down his skinny, wee throat he felt the siren become stuck in his oesophagus. (I learned that word in science today!)Oh my god he thought I am choking! (Vampires can't choke we know but this is a fan fiction so anything can happen!) Of course the only sound that he could make came out as a muffled gurgle.

"HOLY MUFFINS!" yelled Charlie "he's choking!"

If you want to read more, more, more, more… MORE! Please review  We hope there is at least one person who reads this. We'll put you in the next chapter (that's us trying to bribe you into reviewing us). Shout out to Tessie! You know who you are! One more thing did we mention you need to review this? No, well please do!