So it turns out that going to college and having a boyfriend at the same time is much better than most people think. Yeah, maybe she doesn't get to do all the things she did when she was single but honestly, she likes it better this way. She can go out to the bar, or a party, and not have to worry about who's bed she's gonna end up in the next morning. (Shut up, it's only happened a few times.) Plus, she can always count on Finn to make sure no creeps try to hit on her or whatever. She has to admit, it's pretty fucking hot when he gets possessive and shit. Like when they were at a party last weekend. Some douchebag came up to her and tried to cup a feel of her ass but before she could kick his ass, Finn walked up behind her, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulled her back against his chest. And if that didn't get her panties wet, what he did next definitely did. He didn't even speak to the dumbass in front of them, he just straightened his shoulders and narrowed his eyes as he slipped his hand into the side of the shorts she was wearing and stared the kid down. The kid literally went running for the hills after that. The fact that he ran into a chick and made her spill her drink all over her only made it better. And before Santana even realized it, she was dragging him to the nearest bathroom and pushing him inside as her hands reached for his belt.
He made her come twice in that tiny ass bathroom, okay? Oh and has she mentioned how hot it is being able to watch yourself get fucked? Because it is.
But yeah, having a boyfriend in college is kinda okay with her. Kinda.
At least it is so far. It's only been a few weeks since they got back.
When summer was over, they said goodbye to their families in Lima then packed up Finn's truck and drove back to OSU. The ride wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. Usually she doesn't like taking road trips because she normally can't stand to be in a confined area with one person for too long. It's a thing of hers. Shut up. But apparently that problem doesn't pertain to Finn because she was just fine. They talked some, stopped a few times to grab food or whatever, she didn't try to kill him, and may have introduced him to the benefits of getting road head. (Every guy has to experience it at least one time in their life. It was only natural for Santana to be the one to introduce him to it. She did take his virginity all those years ago...) Finn was definitely grateful and when they finally got closer to school, Santana told him where her apartment was and told him that they could chill there for a little while.
She stayed in the dorms last year. She lasted a whole three months. No surprise, really. The girl who she was sharing a dorm with had to be the least fun person she had ever met in her life so she got the hell out of there real quick. Her dad agreed to pay for an apartment for her as long as she promised to study hard in school. Which she does already so that was an easy one.
Her apartment is really nice. It's in a nice neighborhood, close to school, and she has it all to herself. She loves that she can just come home right after classes and not have to deal with anyone bothering her. She can just plop down on her couch and relax. Well, she doesn't do that much relaxing. Her classes are hard as fuck and she spends most of her time either sleeping or studying and that's about it.
Life of a college student.
Finn found her apartment really easily though, surprisingly (come on, it's Finn) and pulled right up to her building. He helped her get her things out of the back and carried them up for her. He's really sweet like that and she opened her door for him and smirked at the low whistle he let out. Duh. Her apartment's fucking awesome. They kind of just spent the rest of that day lazing around and stuff after that. Santana was tired from the ride back and she was sure Finn was too. He spent most of the day with her before telling her had to do some school stuff tomorrow morning and that he should get going. And, okay, no she didn't pout but she was kinda annoyed that he was leaving. But it's not like she would've let him stay over or anything. They're not at that point yet which is totally fine with her. She likes her privacy and moving in with a guy seems like a pretty big commitment that she's just not ready for.
So he left.
She fell asleep on the couch.
Now, school's back in session and Santana's kind of excited for this year. Even though her classes are hard, she enjoys them. Like, really enjoys them. She wants to be a doctor like her dad so she's taking all these really cool classes that'll help her with that. When she first told her dad she wanted to be a doctor he seriously picked her up and swung her around. He was that happy. Her mom was too but Santana could tell she was a little sad she decided not to be a lawyer like her. Frankly, Santana thinks that being a lawyer is tough as fuck and she gives her mom some serious credit. It doesn't matter anyway because they're both supportive of her decision and have been encouraging her every step of the way and she really appreciates them for that shit. It's hard sometimes being alone with no one around. But she has Finn now so that should make a difference.
Hopefully.
After her last class on Friday, she pulls her phone out of her purse and calls Finn. She knows he only had one class this morning so he shouldn't be busy. (And no, she doesn't carry around his schedule in her notebook, she just happens to know because he told her a few days ago, so shut up.) But even if he was busy, she's pretty sure he would drop everything if she needed him to. Which, no, she doesn't need him to but it's always nice to know those things.
He picks up after the third ring and says, "Hey, beautiful."
She rolls her eyes because he is literally the sappiest person she has ever met. (She likes it). "Stop being such a girl and meet me at my place in fifteen." She hears him laugh through the phone and maybe it makes her smile. A little itty bitty one but she wipes it off her face almost instantly because people are looking at her funny. Asses.
"Well with an invitation like that how can I refuse?"
"Exactly." She says, climbing into her car. "Oh and bring food. I'm fucking starving."
"But of course. What would the lady like to eat?"
Santana pulls out of the parking stall and starts toward home before saying, "I don't know. I'm kinda in the mood for pizza or something."
"Pizza. Got it."
"Oh and don't forget the-"
"Extra mushrooms, I know." Fuck. Is it bad that she thinks it's sweet he knows that?
"Just get the food and meet me at home, okay?"
Shit. Did she just say that? She didn't mean to say home. It just slipped out. Fucking hell. She's gonna pay for that one. And knowing Finn he totally caught that.
"Did you just-"
"Shut up. I didn't."
"Santana-"
"Bye, Finn." The last thing she hears before she hangs up is his loud sigh. The entire ride back to her apartment she thinks about what she said. Well, what she let slip. It just felt so natural for her to say it. Why? She has no idea. She's pulling into her building's parking lot when she realizes she's over thinking this whole thing way too much. It was a simple slip of the tongue. No biggie.
Shaking her head, she heads upstairs to her apartment, ignoring the weirdo in the elevator who lives two floors above her, and undoes her jeans as soon as her door is shut. She slides them off, along with her shoes, and leave them by the door. She'll get to them later. Probably. So what if she's just wearing boy shorts and a tank top. It's only Finn coming over and she's at home. She could walk around naked if she wanted to. But she won't.
Actually, if she did that, Finn would probably forget all about that little slip earlier. Peeling her shirt off, she walks towards her bedroom and pushes the door open with her foot. She grabs her phone out of her purse then drops the bag on her desk before climbing up on her bed. She shoots Finn a quick text telling him that the door's unlocked and that he can just come right in when he gets there. Of course, because he's Finn and he worries too much, he sends texts back telling her that it's not safe for her to leave her door unlocked because anyone could just barge right in and steal her or something. She rolls her eyes and tells him to shut up and just get here already.
She reaches behind her and snaps her bra clasp off and throws it off the side of her bed before laying back and waiting for him. Thankfully (for him anyway) she hears the front door open, about two minutes later, and then slam shut. There's a little part of her that's freaked it isn't him but when she hears the loud ass footsteps up the hall, that can only belong to one giant and one giant only, she sits up slightly, leaning back on her palms as she puts on her hottest sex kitten face. Not like she needs to try all that hard though. She's already hot as hell and Finn always tells her. (She kinda loves him for that.)
Finn pushes open her door, she smirks up at him, lifting her finger and motioning for him to join her. She hears him growl under his breath and she's not gonna lie, it sends a gush of wetness through her and she knows her panties are probably soaking already. He affects her that much.
Shit. She's in trouble with this guy.
But Finn's ripping off his shirt and tossing it to the floor before walking to her and she pushes everything out of her head and focuses on how good he's about to make her feel. He bites down on his lower lip as he undoes his jeans and steps out of them before climbing up on the bed and pressing his lips to Santana's. He runs his hands up and down her sides and it sends chills down her spine. She tangles her fingers in his hair as her tongue sweeps against bottom lip before sucking it into her mouth. Finn's hand finds it's way to her panties and Santana moans as his fingers brush against her core. "Finn."
"You're so wet, Santana."
Okay, yeah, she knows. Thanks for her reminding her though, Finn. She's been wet since he walked in the door and if he doesn't do something about it soon she's gonna hit him. Hard. And when she tells him this, he just laughs all gruffly and leans down to nip at her neck. She hates how well he knows her. He knows all her spots and all the places she likes to be touched. It's really not fair, if you ask her. All he has to do is brush his lips or his thumb across a certain spot and she'll be arching her back off the bed and begging, actual fucking begging, for him to touch her. And he knows that too. She doesn't really like to admit that she finds it sexy though. It'll just be her little secret.
"Touch me, Finn." She finally begs as she pushes her hips against his and buries her face against his neck. She can feel how hard he is through his boxers and she knows he can tell how wet she is. Fuck, he could probably tell since he walked in the room.
But he's still not touching her. Why? She has no idea. He likes to think it's funny to torture her or something. (He doesn't find it funny when she tortures him, though so he has no right to tease right now.) "You want me to touch you, baby?" He asks in this innocent little voice that he should not be using right now. This is nowhere near innocent. Actually, it's the complete fucking opposite.
She reaches down and grabs his hand and pushes it straight into her panties. "Yes, Finn. Fucking touch me already." Finn smirks down at her as he starts to stroke his fingers along her soaking wet pussy. "God." She moans as she wraps her legs around his waist and runs her nails down his back. Her own backs arches off the bed as Finn pushes one finger inside her and starts to thrust in and out of her.
Finn attaches his lips to her neck, sucking and nipping at the soft, silky flesh there as his fingers work her up. Her neck is definitely one of his favorite places to kiss on her body. He bites down a little harder as he adds another finger to her and smirks when he hears her moan. The sounds she makes when they're doing this never fails to cause a chill down his spine. Kissing down her neck, he starts to thrust his fingers faster and deeper inside of her as his mouth continues down her chest until he reaches her tits, where he wraps his lips around her nipple and begins to suck hard.
"Oh god, Finn."
Santana digs her fingers in his hair, pushing his face against her tit as her hips buck up against his hand. She can feel her muscles tightening and she knows she's close. Tightening her hold on his head, she pulls him up and crashes their lips together, immediately pushing her tongue inside his mouth and tangling their tongues together. His fingers start to go faster and deeper inside of her and holy fuck she has never been finger-fucked so good before. She knows how that sounds but she doesn't really give a shit right now. Finn is touching her in all the right places and she's about two seconds from exploding on his hand. "Finn. Fuck. I'm close."
"Let go, Santana." He mumbles against her lips, his fingers going faster and deeper into her pussy. "I know you want to, San. I wanna feel you cum on my hand. Come on, Santana" His fingers hit her spot one more time and she's gone. She moans loudly, his name falling off her tongue as her hips continue to move against his hand. Her juices are flowing out of her, coating his hand in her cum and she feels so good right now she can't even form fucking words.
Finn continues to pump his fingers in and out of her, making sure she comes down easy and only when her hips stop moving against him does he remove his fingers and pop them in his mouth. Fuck. She always tastes so good and he has no idea how she does it. Santana takes deeps breaths as she watches Finn lick off her juices from his hand and it is literally the hottest thing she's ever seen. (Other than her, of course.)
So, like, obviously she has to have him again.
She's not an idiot.
(Plus he's seems to have forgotten her little slip up earlier so she's happy. And horny.)
Finn calls her at the fucking ass crack of dawn one morning and she wants to kill him. Just rip his stupidly nice face off and throw it out a window. She's that annoyed. First of all, she told him, repeatedly, that she had a test tomorrow and that she was going to need as much rest as she could get so he shouldn't call her. She told him that. More than once.
And yet, here he is calling her at two fucking thirty in the morning when she specifically told him not to. And no, she is not gonna answer. He must be out of his mind if he thinks she would. With her eyes still closed, she reaches over and turns her phone off before throwing it back on the nightstand and cuddling back into her bed.
Whatever the fuck he was calling for can wait until it's a decent fucking time.
She turns on her phone, for the first time since she shut it off this morning, only after her test is over and she's positive she totally aced it. She walks toward her car as she waits for it to power up and rolls her eyes at how many missed calls she has. Finn called her twenty times, (what the hell could be so improtant?) her mom called her twice and she even has a few missed calls from Quinn. An alert pops up and tells her she has eleven voicemails and they're all from Finn. Wondering what the fuck could be going on, she gets into her car as she dials Finn's number and waits for him to pick up.
He doesn't pick up and she stares down at her phone for a few seconds before scrolling through her missed calls and calling Quinn.
She does pick up.
"Hello?"
"Quinn? What's the hell's going on? You called me like five times in the last three hours." Quinn is silent on the phone and Santana's mind is going insane trying to figure out what the hell is up with everyone today. If this is some joke, she's not laughing.
When Quinn finally decides talk she's soft and sounds defeated or something and Santana still doesn't know what's going on. Which needs to change. Like now. "Did you talk to Finn?"
"No." Santana says, leaning forward to start her car. "He's not picking up. What the fuck is going on?"
"You should really talk to Fi-"
"Quinn Elizabeth Fabray if you do not tell me what the fuck is going on this instant, I will drive to Arizona right now and chop all your hair off. It will be like senior year all over again. Do you want me to do that, Q?"
"Burt had another heart attack, Santana. It's not looking too good."
Santana doesn't hear anything after 'Burt' and 'heart attack' because her phone is already on the floor of her car and she's speeding toward Finn's dorm.
She is such a fucking bitch.
When she gets to his room, she lifts her hand and starts banging on the door, yelling, "Finn!" but when his door swings open, it's not him. It's his dumbass roommate. That she hates. "Where's Finn?"
His stupid roommate, Derek, shrugs his shoulders. He looks high as fuck and Santana can practically smell the weed that he was no doubt smoking just a minute ago. "Frankenstein's not here."
Santana lifts her hand and slaps that dick across his face. "Don't ever call him that again or I will turn you into Frankenstein." She glares at him one more time before yelling, "Fuck!" storming back down the hall and rushing out of his building and running straight to her car to get her phone. She unlocks her car quickly and bends down to look for her phone that she dropped and finds it instantly and dials Finn's number. She leans against the side of her car, running a hand through her hair as she waits for him to pick up.
She breathes a sigh of relief when he finally fucking answers. "Finn? Baby, where are you?"
"Lima."
Fuck he sounds so tired and worn out and it automatically causes her to feel a pang of guilt in her stomach. She is literally the worst girlfriend in the world. Just give her the fucking award already. "Are you okay?"
"No."
"Do you need-"
"I've been calling you." Fuck. His voice is raspy and she just knows that he's been crying. It makes her want to cry. "Where have you been?"
"I-I had a class and I had my phone off. I'm so sor-"
"It's fine."
Santana rubs a hand across her forehead, biting down on her lower lip. "Finn-"
"I gotta go."
"Wait, Finn-" The only thing she hears is the dial tone. She hits her hand against her car before getting in again and starting it up. Once she's home, she throws all her shit on the kitchen table before storming to her bedroom and slamming the door behind her. Whipping off her clothes, she can feel the tears streaming down her face before she even realizes she's crying. She climbs up into the bed and angrily dials Quinn's number again.
"I'm a bitch." is the first thing she says when Quinn answers. It's true, though. Finn is always there when she needs him. Whether or not she actually tells him she needs him, he always has a way of just knowing. The one time he needs her, she ignores him completely.
"I know this."
"He hates me."
"No, he doesn't."
"Yes, he does."
"Santana, Finn loves you. He's just worried about his family right now. You have to give him some time."
Santana rolls her eyes as she leans back against the headboard. "What do I do now?"
"Say you're sorry?"
"Tried that." Santana tells her, replaying the conversation in her head. He totally hates her. (She doesn't blame him.) "And back to my previous sentiments, he hates me."
"Santana he does not hate you. He's just hurt. You're his girlfriend and he needed you and you weren't there. It doesn't mean he automatically hates you."
Santana throws her head back and groans. "I know. I'm a horrible girlfriend." She sighs, staring up at the ceiling. "How do I make this better?"
"I think that's something you have to figure out for yourself, sweetie."
"Quinn." She whines. "You always know what to do. Just tell me."
She hears Quinn giggle a little on the line and she narrows her eyes at the wall because Quinn obviously can't see her. And she's lucky. This is most definitely not a time to be laughing. "Honestly? I think you should take a drive on down to Lima and just be there for him. Be his shoulder to cry on or whatever it is you'll be."
Santana shoots up in her bed and snaps her fingers. "That's it!" She says into the phone and gets up from her bed. "Thanks, Quinn. Love you. Bye." She throws her phone on the bed before rushing to her closet and digging out her duffle bag.
She really needs this to work.
This is the best relationship she's ever had and she wants to keep it.
Did she ever mention how much the drive from the University to Lima sucks? Because it does. It sucks hard. Especially when you're driving by yourself.
The first thing she does when she gets to Lima is stop at her parents house. Her parents greet her with open arms and worried faces. She assures them that she's fine and takes her bag up to her room. She has a quick shower because that drive made her feel disgusting and she wants to at least look presentable when she sees Finn. He doesn't care much about what she looks like, he always tells her she's beautiful no matter what time of day and that she doesn't need to dress up for him. Still. She wants to look okay. Her mom insists she have something to eat before she leaves but Santana tells her that she stopped for food on the way here and that Finn needs her right now. Her dad tells her that he saw Finn and his mom at the hospital before he left and that they should still be there. She gives them both kisses on their cheeks and tells them not to wait up for her before heading to her car and driving toward the hospital.
She makes it to the hospital in record time and parks in the visitor's parking before rushing inside. The nurse at the desk tells her what room and floor Burt is on and she makes a beeline for the elevator. The fucking elevator seems to go extra fucking slow tonight because it feels like hours before she gets to the right floor. She hurries down the creepy as fuck hallways until she finds the right room number and she knocks lightly on the door before going in.
The first thing she sees is Finn's tired and bloodshot eyes and it immediately causes her heart to tighten. "Hi." she says softly, lifting her hand to wave a little.
Carole comes out from around the curtain and immediately throws her arms around Santana. The last few days before Santana and Finn left last summer, she and Carole had gotten very close. Even now, while they're away, Carole will call Finn randomly and ask to talk to Santana. They talk on the phone for hours every time before Finn starts pouting, saying that Santana is taking his spot as Carole's favorite. Can you tell he's dramatic? But anyway, Santana loves the woman to death and that only adds to the guilt she's feeling right now. She wraps her arms around Carole's shoulders and holds the older woman tight against her. They stay like that for a little while before Finn pulls his mom off of her.
Santana glances at him smiles slightly but he doesn't return it. He just stands there, his arms around his mom, with a blank expression on his face. So Santana looks back to Carole and leans down to take her hand. "I'm so sorry, Carole."
Carole wipes at her eyes with her hand as she squeezes Santana's with her other. "Oh it's alright, sweetheart. I'm just glad you're here."
"There's nowhere I'd rather be."
Finn clears his throat from behind his mom and looks at her with narrowed eyes. "Why are you here, Santana? Don't you have a test or something to study for?" Ouch. That one hurt. He's obviously pissed.
"Finn Hudson!" His mom snaps, turning around to slap his arm. "What is wrong with you?" Finn whines as he rubs his arm, glaring at Santana the entire time.
"It's okay, Carole." Santana tells her softly, not daring to look at Finn. "I deserve it."
Carole swivels around to face her. "You most certainly do not." She says and Santana keeps her eyes downcast as Carole turns back to Finn. "I don't know what you're problem is, Finn Christopher Hudson, but this is not how I taught you to treat women. Now you need to take a step outside and don't come back until you've calmed yourself down." Finn opens his mouth but Carole just shakes her head and points to the door. Finn brushes past her on his way out, storming into the hall.
Santana stays quiet even after Finn's gone and just stands there with her head down. She knew he'd be mad but she didn't know he'd be this mad.
"Sweetie-"
"I'm okay." Santana says quickly, looking up at Carole with a sad smile. "He's hurt and I wasn't there for him when he needed me. I think he's allowed to be a little mean right now."
"No." Carole shakes her head and wraps an around Santana's shoulder. "I don't know who that guy just was but it wasn't my son." Santana allows Carole to lead her over to the chair beside Burt's bed and Santana pushes away her own problems and takes the older woman's hand.
"How are you holding up?"
"I'm hanging in there."
"How's he doing?" Santana asks, nodding her head toward Burt. She glances at him and can't help but frown at the sight of all the tubes and wires connected to him.
"The doctors are saying he's going to be alright. He's just gonna have to take it easy for a few months."
Santana smiles softly and gives her hand a gentle squeeze. "That's great. If you ever need anything, you know I'm always here. I'm only a phone call away."
"I know, sweetheart. Right now I think that someone else needs you more." She tilts her head toward the door and Santana nods once before getting up from the chair and heading toward the hall. She looks right first and then left and sighs a little when she sees him sitting against the wall. She walks toward him slowly and quietly and sits down next to him.
"This seat taken?"
"S'not like I can say yes."
Santana looks over at him, shocked that he's still so mad at her. She gets it. She sucks as a girlfriend but he doesn't have to be such a dick about it. She moves to stand up again and says, "Let me know when you wanna stop being an ass and talk to me about this." She starts to walk away, but stops when she feels his hand grab hers.
"I'm sorry. Don't go."
He's looking up at her with his watery, bloodshot eyes and there's no way she can say no. So she sits back down next to him and pulls her legs up to her chest and rests her chin on them. They sit in silence for a while. Just staring at the wall in front of them. Santana glances at Finn from time to time but doesn't say anything. She doesn't even know where to start.
"I needed you."
It looks like she doesn't have to now.
"I know, Finn. And I'm so sorry." She tells him, turning her head to look at him, letting her cheek rest against her knees.
"I needed you and you weren't there."
"I know."
"Why?"
Santana gulps so loud she's pretty sure everyone on this entire fucking floor hears her. "W-Why what?"
"Why didn't you answer when I called? Why didn't you call me back?" He asks, his voice low and firm. If she's honest, it's kind of scaring her. "Fuck, San, a freaking text message would have been enough."
"I just thought you were calling for something stupid." She tells him honestly with a shrug. Now that she's actually said it out loud she feels like the stupid one. "I turned off my phone and didn't turn it back on until my class was over."
"Something stupid." He repeats, his eyes staring straight ahead. "Of all the stupid things I could call about, this was probably the least stupid thing."
"I know, baby." Santana scoots closer to him and hesitantly puts a hand on his shoulder. She feels him stiffen under her touch and it literally hurts her heart. "You have no idea how sorry I am that I wasn't here with you. If I had known-"
"But you didn't. Because you turned off your phone and ignored me for twelve hours."
"Finn, I'm sorry. How many fucking times do I have to say that?"
"You don't have to stay here." He says harshly, "It's not like you actually need to be here."
Okay. That one hurt. She loves Burt. He's super awesome and hilarious and never fails to bring a smile to her face. And she loves Carole, too. The woman is practically a second mother to her and Santana worries about them. And she loves Finn. (Even if she hasn't actually told him yet.)
Santana opens her mouth but Carole comes rushing out announcing, "He's awake!" with a huge smile and tears streaming down her face. Finn shoots to his feet, leaving Santana there without another thought, and rushing toward Burt's room, wrapping an arm around his mom and hugging her close to his body.
Santana sits back against the wall, letting her head fall back as she thinks about what the fuck just happened. He's obviously still mad at her and what he just told her ticked her off a little. She wants to stay. For Carole and Burt. For him too. But if Finn doesn't want her here, she'll leave.
Making up her mind, she pushes herself up off the floor and slowly makes her way back to Burt's room. She walks in quietly and smiles at the bright smile on the older man's face. "Hey, old man, how're you feeling?"
"Santana!" Burt greets happily, opening his arms for her. She can't not go to him so she makes her way to his side and gives him a long, warm hug. "Did you come all the way out to Lima just to see little 'ole me?"
"You bet your ass I did, Hummel." She teases, as she stands next to his bed. Finn is across from her on the other side, next to his mom, shooting daggers at her. She can feel them. "You're a pretty special man."
"Aw." Burt clutches his chest, "I'm honored." Carole and Santana laugh as Burt smiles at all of them. If you were to see him right now, you'd never guess he just had a heart attack.
"Well, I actually have to get going." Santana says, "But I'm glad you're okay."
"You really have to go so soon?" Carole asks and Santana nods, a sad smile on her face.
"Yeah. I have a test to study for." Carole instantly picks up on her tone because she turns to her son and glares at him. Finn cowers away from her and moves to sit in the seat against the far wall. "I'll be back though."
Burt leans forward and takes her hand in his and gives it a small squeeze. "Thank you for coming, honey."
"No problem." She kisses his cheek before doing the same to Carole. She glances over at Finn, who's staring out the window and she thinks about giving him a quick kiss but just sighs softly to herself. "Goodnight."
She'd be lying if she said she didn't let a few tears escape on her way to her car. She'd be telling an even bigger lie if she said she didn't cry the entire drive back to her parents house.
It's the weekend so Santana decides she'll just stay in Lima for a day and drive back tomorrow. It was a little stupid of her to expect a call from Finn when she woke up this morning because she didn't get one. Not even a fucking text. She knows he's mad. She understands why he's mad. What she doesn't understand is why he's being such a gigantic asshole to her. This is a side of Finn she has never seen before and she hates it. She wants her old Finn back. The guy who knows that she likes extra mushrooms on her pizza without having her tell him. The guy who calls her beautiful all the time, even if it annoys the shit out of her (not really). She wants that Finn back. So, like, how does that happen? Whatever the fuck she has to do to get him back needs to happen fast because she misses him.
Her mom makes her eat a huge ass breakfast that makes her feel twenty pounds heavier. They chat for a little while about school and stuff before Santana tells her that she really needs to go. She stops at the Lima Bean first and picks up coffee and muffins and bagels before heading over to the hospital. She runs into her dad on her way up to Burt's room and he tells her that he heard from a colleague of his that Burt will be able to go home by tomorrow. Santana thanks him and presses a kiss to his cheek before stepping off the elevator and going straight to Burt's.
She hits the door with her boot a few times before walking in and giving them a big smile. She notices immediately that Finn isn't here and maybe she breathes a sigh of relief. But Burt and Carole both give her warm smiles as they usher her in. "Good morning." She places the coffees and bag of goodies on the rollaway table. "I bought coffee and breakfast." She tells Carole before turning to Burt. "How're you feeling?"
"Better now." Santana laughs as she takes her cup out of the holder and brings it up to her mouth. "But enough about me, what I want to talk about is you, my dear." Carole nods her agreement and Burt pats the space beside him on the hospital bed. Crap.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Santana." Carole says in that voice that she has that just gets her every time. Every single time. It's the same voice her own mother has. It must be a universal mother thing. "We may be old but we're not blind just yet." She pats the bed again and nods her head toward it. "Come talk to us."
Santana's shoulders drop as she trudges her way to the bed and lifts herself up on it. Burt scoots over a little and Carole moves the seat she's sitting in so she's right next to the bed. She keeps her head down, playing with coffee cup in her hand until Burt puts a hand on her shoulder and she just lets go. She tells them everything from Finn calling her till two in the morning up until she left the hospital the night before. Carole's hand finds it's way to her knee while she's telling them what exactly went down while they were out in the hall last night and Santana has to swallow a sob that almost threatens to escape her.
"I just-I just don't know what to do or say to make this better." She sighs heavily and slouches down further. "I told him how sorry I was but...nothing." Burt's hand tightens on her shoulder and she looks at him over her shoulder first before turning to face Carole. "You know him the best. What do I do?"
"I think you just have to give him some time, sweetheart."
"Time?" Santana furrows her eyebrows. "How much time can I give him? He's gonna think I really don't care if I start to avoid him."
"He knows you care, Santana." Burt's voice rings in her ears and she bows her head again.
"Can I tell you something, honey?"
"Of course."
She watches as Carole glances at Burt before taking a deep breath and saying, "Hospitals are hard for Finn. When he was a little boy, his father was hospitalized for a really long time." Santana stays quiet as she waits for Carole to continue. "For three years straight, Finn and I spent everyday in this hospital. It had become kind of like a second home almost." Santana lets a little smile creep on her face as she imagines a miniature (well, not so miniature) Finn running up and down the halls of the hospital and his gigantor feet making him bang into things. "The day his father died, I had left to go home and get some more clothes and Finn begged to stay so I let him. He watched his father die and had nowhere or no one to run to."
Santana's mouth falls open slightly as she feels herself gripping Carole's hand tighter. "I had no idea."
"You couldn't have." Carole tells her, smiling at Burt. "But I think the fact that he was here all alone again the other night caused some unwanted memories to resurface. He had no one to comfort him again because I was obviously too distraught to do it myself because I was worrying about this one here," she points toward Burt, who sticks out his tongue at her, "I think that all he really needed and wanted in that moment was his girlfriend."
"And I wasn't here." Carole nods sadly and Santana moves to lean back against the hospital bed next to Burt, staring up at the ceiling. "I suck at this whole girlfriend thing."
Burt chuckles and Carole shoots him a glare telling him to be quiet. "No you don't, honey. Relationships are about learning as you go. You just have to give him some time and I'm sure he's gonna be back to same old goofy Finn."
"I hope so. I don't think-" She sits up when she hears the door open and sees Finn standing in the doorway. He's got a confused look on his face but it still isn't the same one he usually has when he's confused. She can't believe she's saying this, but she actually misses that face. "H-Hey."
"Hi."
"I, um, brought you some coffee. Caramel Cappuccino. Your favorite. And I brought some bagels and muffins, the one you like with the nuts-"
"I already ate."
"Oh." She looks over at Carole before climbing off the bed and picking up her purse from the ground. "I have to meet my mom for some bonding time." She jokes, trying to laugh a little but it really just comes out as a pathetic little chuckle. "I'll see you guys later." She pats Burt's hand before giving Carole a hug then walking over to Finn. She stops right in front of him and hesitantly leans in and gives his cheek a small kiss. "Call me later. Please." Finn doesn't look at her but he nods once and Santana feels her heart sink. She turns and waves to Burt and Carole before walking out of the room and closing the door softly behind her.
She doesn't hear from him.
No calls.
No texts.
Nothing.
It fucking sucks.
Sunday morning, her parents wake her up early and take her to breakfast. They go to her favorite little diner and she polishes off a stack of pancakes by herself. Her dad tells her, once they're back home again, that he called the hospital earlier and found out that Burt had been released early this morning and should be home by now. Santana smiles at him, thanks them both for breakfast before heading upstairs and getting washed up. She packs up the few things she bought with her and pulls on a pair of jeans and a top before heading downstairs. She tells her parents that she's gonna just stop by the Hummels before heading back to Columbus so they do their goodbyes before she tells them she'll call them once she's home.
She drives to the Hummel home but stops to pick up a pie from the bakery first. Pumpkin. She knows for a fact it's Burt's favorite because Finn told her one night that while they were arguing over whether or not they used actual pumpkin in pumpkin pie. (They don't by the way. It's fucking squash.) Anyway, she won that argument (like always) and they fucked against the kitchen counter all night long. It was a good night and the fact that she couldn't walk the next day proved that.
She gets to Finn's house a few minutes later and adjusts her top before reaching up and knocking on the door. She stands back and waits until the door opens. When it does, it's Finn who answers and she smiles brightly at him. "Hi." she greets, holding up the dessert. "I brought pie. Pumpkin. Burt's favorite."
"Er. Thanks." Finn says, reaching forward to take the pie from her. "I'm sure Burt will love it. He's resting now but I'm pretty sure he'll swallow this entire thing when he gets up." He chuckles and Santana feels herself smiling a little wider.
"Can I come in?" Finn nods, stepping aside to let her in. Santana scans the room for a minute, smiling at the homey feeling she immediately feels. She turns around when Finn closes the door and tells him, "I'm driving back to school today."
"Have a safe trip." Fuck. Maybe she thought he might ask her to stay or something, she doesn't really know what, but fuck, she was definitely not expecting him to just wish her off.
She looks down at her feet before looking back up at him. "Are you coming back anytime soon?"
Finn puts the pie on a hall table and leans against a wall, crossing his arms over his chest. "I want to make sure my mom and Burt are okay first." She nods as she rocks back and forth on her heels. "I'll most likely be back by the end of the week or so."
"Okay." Santana says softly, looking up at him. She doesn't really know what else to say and it's kind of just fucking awkward silence for a while. "Where's your mom?"
"She ran out to the grocery store. Burt has to be on this new diet thing so she has to basically restock the entire kitchen."
"Oh. That's good I guess."
"Yeah."
The only thing she wants to do right now is throw her arms around him and kiss the crap out him. But she obviously can't do that, now can she? She hates this. What things have become. They suck. She can feel the tears pooling in her eyes already and she wants to hit herself for being such a huge fucking baby.
"I-I should go." She says quickly before pulling open the door and running straight for her car. She doesn't look back once and she's kind of glad because he definitely didn't chase after her like she was hoping he would.
You know what's worse than having to drive to Lima alone?
Driving back alone.
Three days.
That's how long it takes her to pluck up the courage and call him. He might be the only person she hasn't called over the last three days. She's talked to Quinn a few hundred times, she's talked to her mom, hell, she's even called Carole once or twice. But every time she dialed Finn's number she fucking chickened out and hung it up before he even answered. Like, what the fuck is she? A teenage girl?
But after talking to Quinn, she finally got the courage to pick up her stupid phone and call the guy. She's sitting on her couch, a beer in her hand, as she holds the phone up to her ear.
He picks up and Santana feels her throat go dry. "Hello? San?" Damn. She didn't realize how much she missed hearing him call her that. Even if when he first started to all she wanted to do was ring his neck. Now it's kind of an endearment.
"Y-Yeah. Hey."
"Hi."
"How are you?"
"I'm good. I didn't realize how much I missed Lima until now."
Santana giggles a little and tries to calm her nerves that are going crazy right now. "And Burt? How's he?"
"He's doin' okay. He hates the new diet the doctor put him but mom's not having any of it. She practically had to force feed his dinner to him last night." He laughs through the phone and it makes her laugh. Shut up. It's a good sound.
"I miss you." Shit. She didn't mean to just blurt it out like that. But it's not like she's lying or anything. She misses him. A lot.
He doesn't say anything for a little bit but when he does his voice is all soft and gentle and it just makes her feel really good, okay? "I miss you too, San." She lets out the breath she didn't even know she was holding because, fuck, that's the best thing she's heard all week.
"When are you coming back?"
"I drive back tomorrow." He tells her and she can't believe how big she's smiling right now. "I should be back by nine-ish."
"Do you wanna come by my place on your way to the dorm? I'll cook for you."
"You don't have t-"
"I want to."
She hears him sigh over the phone and she almost wants to tell him to forget about it but he says, "Okay. I'll be there." and some hope is restored. Some.
"Okay."
"I gotta go. I'll talk to you later?"
"Yeah. Bye."
"Bye, San."
So she's not nervous or anything. Nope. No nervousness whatsoever.
Fuck.
Who the hell is she trying to fool? Of course she's fucking nervous. She hasn't been alone with him like this since before all this shit went down and she's freaking out a little bit.
She made his favorite. Chicken Parm. And yes, it's the shit. She can cook, okay? Her mom taught her when she was younger and she just kind of grew up experimenting in the kitchen. She likes cooking. It's fun and messy and you can mix almost anything together and get something new. She knows that Finn happens to love her Chicken Parm because she made it one night they were both studying at her apartment and he told her it was the best he ever had and she was definitely gonna have to make it for him often. Oh, and then he went down on her while they were sitting on the couch, telling her it was a thank you for making something so amazingly delicious.
She's not hoping that happens again but she sure as fuck won't stop him if it does again.
When ten o'clock rolls around, she figures he's not gonna show up. Figures. He probably realized she was a crazy evil bitch and no longer wants anything to do with her. She stands up from where she was waiting on the couch and heads toward her bedroom when she hears a knock on her door. Her face perks up as she races to the door, but stops to calm herself. She doesn't wanna look like a eager fucking girl.
She takes a deep breath before pulling the door open. "Hi." Finn smiles his stupidly cute smile at her and she can't help but smile back. "Come on in." She holds the door open for him and waits until he's inside to shut it.
"Smells good in here."
Santana chuckles a little as she walks up to him, crossing her arms over her chest. "I made Chicken Parm."
"Yeah?" Santana nods, a little smirk on her face. "Can we eat then? Cause I'm fucking starving." Santana laughs as she turns toward the kitchen and motions for him to follow.
"Come on, Frankenteen." Finn pinches her hip earning him a slap to his shoulder. Finn laughs behind her as she makes her way into the kitchen and grabs them some plates. She hands one to him before pulling the pan out of the oven and setting it on the stove. "How was the drive?" She's just trying to make conversation. She knows they have to talk about everything that's happened but she doesn't want to just yet. So she's stalling. Sue her.
"Alright, I guess." Finn shrugs, holding his plate out for her to put some food on it. Which she does. "I didn't realize how long the drive from Lima to the university was. It sucked."
Santana chuckles as she reaches over to grab two forks out of the drawer. "I know what you mean. That fucking drive killed me." Finn laughs again and Santana looks up at him through her eyelashes. She smiles at him before grabbing his hand and leading him over to the couch and plopping down on it. She picks up the remote and holds it out to him. "We can watch whatever you want."
Finn shrugs as he starts digging into his food. "Anything's fine with me."
Santana rolls her eyes. "Try not to eat the plate and fork while you're at it, Huddy." She laughs when he glares at her and she just continues to scroll through her movies. She finds the Rocky Horror Show on and she squeals. Fucking squeals. "Look." she hits his arm. "Rocky!"
Finn chuckles. "It must be a sign." He leans forward and sets his plate on the coffee table before standing up. "Want a drink?"
"Yep."
She doesn't take her eyes away from the TV when he leaves or when he comes back and sets a can of diet coke on the table for her. She leans back against the couch, pulling her legs up under her and setting her plate on her knee, as she keeps her eyes focused on the TV She and Finn sing along to every song and laugh about everything. Santana's reminded of that one night they were at her house last summer and they watched this exact movie and did the exact thing. She also remembers how that night ended. That's actually the night she realized things between them were more than just a fun times.
She looks over at Finn and asks, "You done?" nodding toward his empty plate in his hand. He nods and Santana grabs it before standing up and heading to the kitchen. She drops the plates in the sink before leaning against it. She takes a few deep breaths. She has to do this. Walking back to the living room, she chew on her bottom lip as she sits back down next to him. Only after they've finished singing 'Toucha, Toucha, Toucha, Touch Me' does Santana clear her throat and ask, "Are we gonna talk about all of this or are we gonna keep pretending none of it happened?"
Finn turns away from the TV and looks at her. "We can talk."
Santana nods once and shifts on the couch a little. Neither of them say anything at first and she's just looking everywhere but at him. "Are you gonna start or do you want me to…?"
Finn chuckles a bit and Santana takes that as a good sign. Sort of. But he looks over at her with a sad little smile and says, "I'm so sorry, babe. I've been acting like a complete ass and I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you."
Santana pouts a little as she scoots closer to him. "You were being really mean."
"I know." He wraps an arm around her shoulders and drags her closer to him. "And I am so so sorry for that. I was just-"
"Scared?"
"Yeah." He nods, looking down at her. "I hate hospitals so much."
"I know." Santana tells him, laying her head on his chest. "Your mom told me about your dad."
"She did?" She nods against his chest and nuzzles her nose into him. She definitely missed this. Silence washes over them and Santana just continues to lay against him, listening to his heart beat beneath her.
"I'm sorry, too."
"Santana-"
"No." She sits up, looking him right in the eye, "I should have been there with you and I wasn't. The one time you needed to lean on me, I let you fall. So I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." She feels tears pool in her eyes but she does nothing to hide them. Finn leans up and wraps his arms around her. Santana buries her face against his neck as tears stream down her face. "I missed you so fucking much, Finn, you have no idea."
Finn shushes her, rocking her back and forth, his hand massaging her scalp. She doesn't think she's ever cried like this before. "It's okay, baby. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."
Santana wraps her arms around his middle, her forehead still in the crook of his neck. She places a kiss to neck. "Finn." she whispers, her breath hitting his neck. They stay like that for a long time before Santana falls asleep against him. She feels Finn shift beneath her and move her into his lap before tightening his grip on her and standing up. She wraps her arms around his neck and keeps her face against his neck as he carries her to the bedroom.
He lays her down on the bed once they're in there and she moves up slightly to crawl underneath the covers. He's just standing there and he kind of looks confused so she pats the spot beside her and says, "Sleep with me." Finn smirks at her and reaches behind him to pull his shirt off and then sheds his jeans off before climbing in next to her. Santana curls up beside him and wraps an arm around his waist. "I love you, Finn."
"I love you too, San."