Tumnus knew he only had a matter of minutes before she left. He and Lucy had been sitting in the library, comfy in front of the fire, there chairs but a few feet apart. They had been avoiding a Christmas party Susan was holding. Peter and Edmund had been with them too, and the four of them had been laughing and talking.
But now that they had left, Tumnus and Lucy had lapsed into silence. And as Tumnus sat there, he felt as if he was suffocating. His thoughts were a jumbled mess and his heart pounding.
He would run out of time if he didn't start talking. She wouldn't wait forever. She asked him once, and he had refused. He'd been scared.
Flashback
"Tumnus, can I talk to you?"
Tumnus turned around and smiled. "Yes Lucy. Why don't we walk go to the library?"
Lucy nodded and followed Tumnus as he led her to the large library. They sat down in a couple of chairs, facing the fire, although there was no blazing fire.
Tumnus smiled at Lucy, unsure what she wanted to talk about but he could tell she was nervous about something.
"I just wanted to say, well, I just..." Lucy trailed off. "It's complex. I-I can't say."
Tumnus rested an elbow on his armchair. "Just say it Lucy."
Lucy took a deep breathe. "I hope you don't find me stupid but, I love you."
Tumnus felt his heart drop. This couldn't be happening. He loved her too but it would never work. He was a fawn. Nothing more.
Standing up, Tumnus started to back out of the library, unable to say anything.
"Tumnus, what's wrong?" Lucy asked, turning in her chair to see him.
"I just, Lucy, you, I, we can't."
Lucy stood up. "But why Tumnus? Are you saying you don't have feelings for me? I could have sworn you did."
Tumnus shook his head. "No, I don't."
It killed him to say that, tore his heart in two, but he knew they both would be hurt even more if they couldn't be together. Tumnus wanted to laugh at the irony. It didn't matter if he said yes or no, they still couldn't be together.
Tumnus quickly started to walk away, not stopping when he heard Lucy calling, "Tumnus, please don't leave. Tumnus!"
He should have stopped, he should have gone to her and explained. But being the coward that he was, he couldn't. He just kept walking. Out of the room, out of her life.
He knew she must have been thoroughly embarrassed. They could have talked about it, but instead, they let it go.
End Flashback
And now, two years later, after it had been forgotten and buried, Tumnus wanted to bring it up again. He had realized that he couldn't live without Lucy. He wanted her by his side, always...forever.
And as they sat by the fire, Tumnus knew he was running out of time. Not just in the sense that she would get up and go to bed, but in the sense that life was short. He didn't have forever. She could get engaged the next day, or he could die in his sleep. One never knows when life may end. He had waited two years already, why should he wait any longer?
Tumnus knew he should have told her the truth two years ago, told her he loved her too.
Now was the time. And if she didn't love him anymore, he would forget about. He would stop thinking about her, stopping obsessing over the life they could have together.
"Lucy?"
Lucy looked at him, a sad look on her face. "Yes Tumnus?"
"Do you remember that day two years ago when you said you loved me?"
Lucy laughed. "How could I forget it? I made such a fool of myself."
"No, you didn't. I was the fool."
Lucy raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean Tumnus?"
Tumnus slid from is chair to the floor, kneeling before Lucy. Reaching up, he took her hand and held it to his heart.
"I am so sorry for rejecting you Lucy. Can you ever forgive me? I was wrong. I, I didn't tell you the truth that night. I love you. I always have. I just..." Tumnus shook his head. "I didn't think we could be together. I had this notion that your siblings would object. But I realize now that I was wrong."
Lucy had tears on her face as she said, "Oh Tumnus. I always thought you considered me a child. I never knew."
Now Tumnus was crying. "I'm sorry Lucy. Forgive me?"
Lucy nodded and joined Tumnus on the floor. "I forgive you."
Tumnus gently wiped away her tears and leaned in to kiss Lucy lightly.
Tumnus pulled Lucy against him and they sat with their backs against the chair, watching the fire. It crackled in front of them, the heat warming their faces. They sat together in the night, with only the fire to light the library. Silence threatened to remain all night until Tumnus finally spoke. Leaning in close he whispered into Lucy's ear, quietly, just loud enough for her to hear.
"Will you marry me Lucy Pevensie?"
From where his view, Tumnus could just barely see her smiling. She rested her head against his shoulder, looking up at him and said, "Yes Tumnus. I will."
Tumnus felt his heart bursting with happiness. He had waited for this day, yearned for it. Prayed to Aslan that it would come. And it had come. And just at the right moment.