Me:Merry Christmas, readers!
Rocky:Happy Holidays!
Bardock:I don't get a line?!
Me:Yes you do!
Bardock:I'm NOT saying that!!
Me:Yes you are.
Bardock:Rrrrrgh...
Me:SAY IT!
Bardock:Feliz Navidad...
Me:Not so hard, now was it?
Bardock:But now I get the disclaimer, right?
Me:Yup!
Bardock:KidGoku13 doesn't own DB, DBZ, DBGT or anything related. This includes some OCs.
Rocky:Let's just get started...
Me:This has probably been done before, but I don't care! I'm doing this!! Besides, I doubt someone's ever done 'A Christmas Carol' during with the BARDOCK CAST involved! MWAHAHAH!!
A Saiyan Christmas Carol
Original Concept by;Charles Dickens
Twisted FanFiction Version by; KidGoku13
Vegeta was being his normal self; alone in his Gravity Room, secluding himself from EVERYONE. Even Trunks and his brother Table. Bulma decided to get him out. After all, it was Christmas Eve! She knocked on the door to the Gravity Room.
"What is it?!" Vegeta barked, not stopping his training in 600x gravity.
"If you'll come out I'll make the Gravity Room able to go up to 5000x gravity." she offered.
"You already said you'd do that, woman. Better luck next time." he laughed triumphantly.
"Ooh!! YOU ARE SO IMPOSSIBLE!!" she screeched, "You ARE coming out of there!!"
"Make me."
"Fine, I will." she smirked from the other side of the door, "Oh Goooo-kuuuu!! Vegeta said he wants to train with youuuu!!" Bulma bluffed.
"Send him in. A sparring match would be interesting."
"VEGETA COME OUT RIGHT NOW!!" Bulma bammed on the door.
"Not a chance." and with that, Bulma stormed off, fuming with rage. She was GOING to get her revenge. She had to think of a way to first, though.
.~*Merry Christmas*~.
In Other World, King Yemma had summoned Bardock and his crew. They reported immediately.
"I have a 'special' assignment for you and your crew, Bardock." King Yemma said, getting straight to business.
"Special how, sir?" Bardock asked respectfully.
"Listen closely..." King Yemma then began to explain his plan to them.
"With all due respect, sir..." Bardock began, "What do we get for doing this?"
"Two words you've been dying to hear." King Yemma said, "Visitation rights."
"R...really?!" Bardock exclaimed. Yemma nodded, "Alright guys, we got ourselves a prince to scare!"
"But only 3 of us have to go..." Tora began, "Let's draw straws..."
"Suit yourselves. Fight over the other two spots, but I'm going."
And so Fasha, Tora, Borgos, and Shugesh drew straws.
"IT WAS RIGGED I TELLS YA!!" Shugesh said.
"You lost fair and square." Fasha said, "Look, if Borgos can take defeat honorably, so can you." Shugesh gave a sigh of defeat.
"As your ruler, I am going!" a voice said. It was King Vegeta.
"Says who?" Fasha said, crossing her arms.
"I'm the king, AND I'm Vegeta's father. Therefore I can scare him."
"You couldn't scare a fly, 'your majesty'." Bardock said, "Besides, you're dead like us. We're all even in the rights department. Actually, wait...we ended up in a higher level than you."
"Which makes us above the king." Fasha smirked.
"Owned." said all the ogres.
"SHUT UP!!" King Vegeta yelled and stormed off.
.~*Merry Christmas*~.
Vegeta, so determined to not let Bulma win, slept in the Gravity Chamber that night. Table, knowing his very stubborn brother, decided to bring him a pallet to sleep on, because he thought that the floor wouldn't be very comfortable. Vegeta gave a grunt instead of saying 'thank you', but Table said 'you're welcome' anyways.
Vegeta fell asleep with a smirk on his face, knowing that he had won the battle AND the war. He heard a voice.
"Oooooh...I am the ghost of Christmas paaaast!! Feeeeeear meeee!!" at hearing this, the Saiyan prince sat straight up.
"Very funny, Table."
"Not Table. Tora." Tora corrected, appearing before him.
"What the heck?!" Vegeta exclaimed, "Wait...Tora...didn't you DIE?"
"You don't have to be mean." Tora frowned, "Have you ever read the book 'A Christmas Carol' before?"
"No...why...?"
"Oh good, this'll all be from scratch." Tora cracked his knuckles, "Come on, I have to take you to the past to view your past Christmases."
"Not a chance."
"You have two choices here; One, go peacefully. Or two, I MAKE you go."
"Or number three, I stay here and you go back to wherever the heck you came from."
"Wrong answer." Tora smirked and grabbed Vegeta by the hair, dragging him along behind him.
"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!" Vegeta said, breaking free, "I'll go peacefully!!"
"Good boy, Veggie." Tora teased, "Now then...he-hem..." Tora walked through a door frame standing in the middle of the room, "Come on."
"What's in there?" Vegeta asked.
"A million puppies." Tora said sarcastically, "The past, you idiot."
"Don't call me an idiot! I'm the-"
"The almighty prince of all Saiyans...yes, yes, I know. I swear, you're JUST like your father..."
.~*Merry Christmas*~.
Tora and Vegeta went into the room. They were in the time when Vegeta was on Earth, and learned what Christmas was from Bulma. It was just before Trunks was born.
"Vegeta, I got you something special." Bulma smiled, handing him a neatly wrapped box. Vegeta tore it open, looked inside, and pulled out a picture of them hugging.
"Hm...yeah...great..." he rolled his eyes in near disgust.
"You don't like it...?" Bulma asked, hurt.
"Not really." this reply got him smacked in the face.
"Not one of your better moments, was it?" Tora asked.
"Shut up!" present-times Vegeta said, "Can they see us...?"
"Nope. Now onto Christmas Blooper number 2!" Tora snapped, and the scene changed a little bit.
"What year is this...?"
"This is 8 years ago."
"Dad, Dad, open mine next!" Trunks, who was 2, said happily, handing Vegeta his present. Vegeta opened it and pulled out a coffee mug with 'Universe's Best Fighter' written on it.
"Hm...yeah...great..." Vegeta said, looking it over.
"You like it?!" Trunks asked, starry-eyed.
"Yeah, sure..." this got him another smack from Bulma. Trunks didn't understand...his dad had said he liked it, so why did his mother slap him?
"I bet you'll regret what you got her this year." Tora joked(because Vegeta had gotten her a new spatula)
"Oh no...what have I done?!"
"And this is why you never get women anything they can use to beat you to death with! Okay, well, I think we've seen enough..."
"Yes, please take me back to the present!" Vegeta pleaded. Tora snapped and they were back in the Gravity Room.
"I've got about 5 minutes left before 'Present' gets here..." Tora said, "So, what've you learned so far?"
"That I shouldn't get women things that are easy to use as weapons?"
"Yes...wait, NO!!" Tora said, "You're supposed to learn that you're a greedy, self-centered jerk!!"
"Hm...nope, didn't learn that at all."
"Why you-!!" Tora was about to yell, but a timer beeped, "Up, that's my que to leave."
.~*Merry Christmas*~.
Vegeta sat up in bed, breathing heavily.
"Phew...just a bad dream..." he sighed, "Stupid woman and her stupid eggnog..."
"Don't blame Bulma for your problems." a voice said.
"Oh God not again..." he sighed.
"Oh yes, yet again." Fasha appeared.
"Who are you?!"
"Guess."
"Hm...oh wait, now I remember! Fasha!"
"In the weird ghosty-flesh stuff." she shrugged, "And I'm supposed to show you what's going on during this present Christmas."
"No. I'm not going on another crazy ride."
"Wanna bet?" she said, pulling out a butcher's knife(Chi-chi has the frying pan, Bulma has the spatula, but Fasha has the butcher knife of doom).
"I'll be good!" Vegeta nearly screamed, then stood up.
"Alright then. Let's go." she said, walking through the Gravity Room's door(without opening it), "Don't worry, no one will see us."
"Fiiiiiiine..." he sighed and followed, noticing that he too could walk through the door. She led him to Bulma's room. She was pacing back and forth.
"I'm SURE you know who she is, don't you?"
"Of course. She's the woman."
"What's her NAME then, smart one?"
"Uh..oh, you said it earlier! Why do I have to answer?"
"You don't know her name, do you?"
"Of COURSE I do!"
"Nice try." Fasha said, "It's Bulma. Do you know what she's doing?"
"Excersicing?"
"Nope. Plotting."
"Plotting what?"
"How to get back at you. You've given her nothing but trouble EVERY Christmas. Now she's trying to think of a way to return the favor."
"Then shouldn't you be lecturing her?"
"No. YOU'RE the one that's pushed her to this." Fasha explained, "You COULD be a little nicer."
"Me? Nice? Ha!"
"Men..." Fasha sighed, "Come on." she went upstairs to Trunks' room. He was asleep in the middle of the floor, with markers and colored paper everywhere.
"Why here?" Vegeta asked.
"Look at what he was doing." Fasha said. She picked up a piece of paper from next to Trunks.
"What is it?" he asked, looking at it.
"A home-made Christmas card for YOU." she explained, "Because every year you act uninterested in his gifts that were store-bought, he thought that maybe something hand-made would be more to your liking."
"It looks like crap." his saying this got him smacked.
"It's the thought that counts, you moron!!" she then snapped her fingers and they were in Goku's house. Goku and Chi-chi were quietly putting presents under the tree.
"What are THEY doing?" Vegeta asked, scoffing at their stupidity.
"Doing something you never did. Playing Santa."
"What in the world is a Santa?"
"Someone who gives gifts to children. It's something that kids look forward to EVERY year on this planet. But it's actually just parents doing this." she said.
"What a chore." Vegeta said.
"Look at those two. They're HAPPY to do it. And the best part of it all, they're not FIGHTING like you and Bulma."
"Bulma?"
"The woman..."
"Oh...riiiight...."
"THIS is how a family should function on Christmas. Not the way you and Bulma carry on."
"Oh boo hoo, cry me a river."
"I'll get the knife."
"Ack!" a timer dinged again.
"See ya later." Fasha said angrily, then snapped her fingers.
.~*Merry Christmas*~.
Vegeta awoke in his bed yet again.
"Is it over?!" he asked. No reply. It was completely silent, "Finally...That was annoying." he turned around, and saw a cloaked figure in all black. He was holding a scythe, "WHO ARE YOU?!"
The figure slowly removed the hood.
"The ghost of Christmas Future." said Bardock.
"Kakarot?!"
"Nope. Guess again."
"Wait...that scar...you're..."
"Bardock."
"So, what crazy trip do YOU have planned?"
"One to a cemetery."
"A cemetery?!" Vegeta exclaimed. Bardock snapped and they were in a cemetery in the future.
"Look there." Bardock said, and pointed to a tomb stone.
"Why...?" Vegeta asked, almost scarred.
"Just look!!" Bardock barked. Vegeta walked over, and read what the tomb stone said.
Here Lies Vegeta,
Not much of a father or husband, but an okay fighter
Vegeta moved some snow at the base of the stone.
Chopped to pieces by wife
"Eeeegh..." Vegeta said.
"That's what happens because you're so MEAN to Bulma."
"But...she would never KILL me!!....would she....?"
"Oh, you'd be surprised what she'll do when pushed." Bardock said, "Oh look, here she comes now, and with her new husband no less."
"Huh...?" Vegeta looked over. There was Yamcha, with his arm around Bulma. They looked happy together.
"She re-marries after she kills you."
"Wait a minute...wouldn't she be in JAIL for killing me?!"
"Nope. The cops understood how bad you treated her. They actually gave her MONEY for the deed."
"That's just wrong..."
"Yes, but what YOU did was wrong too."
Bulma looked over at Vegeta's grave. She didn't look a bit sad. She Frenched Yamcha on the spot, then flipped Vegeta's grave off. Vegeta stood in awe.
"Wait, there's more." Bardock said, sitting back to watch.
"Are you ENJOYING this?!"
"Well, yeah, actually. You've
gotta admit, it's pretty funny."
"Rrrrrgh..."
"Too soon?" he asked, "Oh look, there's Trunks and Goten!"
Goten and Trunks were running, playing in the snow. They were having a snowball fight.
"Bet ya can't hit me!" Goten teased.
"Be YOU can't hit ME!" Trunks challenged.
"Care to make it interesting?"
"How so?"
"Whoever loses has to dig up your Dad and kiss him for 5 seconds." Goten laughed.
"No thanks!!" Trunks said, and hit Goten in the face with a snowball.
"Scardy cat!" Goten said, running off to build a fort. Trunks did the same. Then the true battle began.
"So NO ONE respects me while I'm dead?!" Vegeta asked, turning to Bardock.
"No...two people do."
"Only two?!"
"Hey, don't whine." Bardock said, and pointed. Table and Grey were coming up to pay respects.
"Those two...?" Vegeta asked. Bardock nodded.
"Makes you feel bad that you don't treat your little brother better, doesn't it?"
"Psh. Why should I care?"
"Alright, this is going no where..." Bardock sighed, getting up, "Do you know what happens to YOU?"
"What do you mean?"
"You. As in your soul. When you die."
"Uh..."
"Exactly what happened the last time you died."
"Nooooo!" Vegeta gasped in horror.
"Yes."
"How much longer do I have to live?!" Vegeta begged.
"2 more years. Unless you change your ways."
"It can't be done!" Vegeta sighed.
"Yes it can. You just have to start with being a little nicer."
"I...rrrrgh...oh fine..." Vegeta sighed, defeated. A timer beeped again.
"Alright, time's up. Let's go back." Bardock snapped and they were both back in Vegeta's room. Vegeta, again, awoke in a heavy sweat.
"You're still here?!" Vegeta asked.
"Yup. I get to see Kakarot today because of what I did." Bardock smirked, "So I guess I should be thanking you."
"I should thank you for letting me know what'll happen to me if I don't change my ways."
"You're welcome."
"Wait...oh no!"
"What?"
"I didn't get Bulma a present!!" Vegeta exclaimed(as usual).
"There's still time." Bardock explained, "It's still Christmas Eve night. It's about 11 o'clock."
"Then there's time!" Vegeta said joyfully. He dashed out of the Gravity Room and shook Table.
"What's wrong...?" Table asked groggily.
"Table, you've got pretty good taste when it comes to what women want..."
"Yeah, because I actually listen to what MY wife says." Table said.
"Look, could you go get something for me to give to Bulma?"
"You?! Giving BULMA a PRESENT?!" Table asked, "Holy crap,
where's my brother you impostor?!"
"Table, it IS me!"
Vegeta explained, "Please! I'm BEGGING you!"
"Okay, really Vegeta, stop with the act." Table said. Vegeta gave him the most sincere look he could conjer, "Alright..."
"Table, what's going on...?" Grey asked sleepily.
"Nothing. I have to go somewhere for a second, okay? Just go back to sleep."
"Alright...be careful..." Grey said, drifting back into sleep.
.~*Merry Christmas*~.
Vegeta was waiting in the living room. Table came back holding a box wrapped in silver paper.
"I got her a diamond necklace with matching earrings...now can I go back to bed? Please?"
"Yes...thank you, Table."
"Boy, now I've seen it all..." Table laughed, "You're welcome."
"Good night." Vegeta said, going back to the Gravity Room.
.~*Merry Christmas*~.
"Wake up! Wake up! It's Christmas! It's Christmas!" Goten yelled happily, jumping up and down on Goku and Chi-chi's bed.
"Goten, what time is it...?" Chi-chi asked.
"Christmas time!" Goten grinned.
"No no...I mean the ACTUAL time..." Chi-chi corrected.
"6:30..."
"A.M?!"
"Yeah..." Goten said.
"Ah, let him go ahead and open his presents. We're both already up." Goku tried to convince her.
"Well...okay." Chi-chi finally gave in.
"Hooray!!" Goten chirped and ran to the tree. He looked through all of the presents for his. He tore through the paper and ran off with his loot. He encountered Gohan on the stairs.
"Good morning Goten." Gohan yawned.
"I got a skateboard!!" Goten grinned from ear to ear. He then ran to their room. Gohan went downstairs and opened his presents.
"Aw, sweet! A new laptop!!" he exclaimed, "Thanks guys!" he then went to go hook it up.
When Goten got into the bedroom, he saw 'Goku' sitting on the bed.
"Thanks again, Dad!" Goten smiled. 'Goku' tilted his head to the side a little. Then Gohan came in. The visitor and Gohan blinked, confused, at each other.
"Who're you?!" Gohan finally asked.
"Gohan, what are you talking about...?" Goten asked.
"At least you noticed..." Bardock said, and began to explain. After asking about a million questions, Goten and Gohan came up with a genius plan that involved their father, their grandfather, and a big to/from tag.
.~*Merry Christmas*~.
Goten and Gohan ran downstairs.
"Okay, Dad, now time for YOUR present." Goten smiled.
"Huh...?" Goku asked.
"Come on, come on!" Goten urged and dragged Goku by his arm to their room. Goten led Goku to the closet, "Open the door!"
"Okay..." Goku said, and opened the closet door. There stood Bardock.
"Aw...you took the bow off!" Goten frowned.
"Hello." Bardock said, ignoring Goten's comment.
.~*Merry Christmas*~.
After a few hours, and another million questions, everyone had headed off to Capsule Corp. for the annual Christmas party. Everyone was shocked by Vegeta's extremely up-beat behavior, but for the most part, they liked the new Prince of All Saiyans.
.~*Merry Christmas, and God bless us all, everyone!!*~.