Hello everyone! My name's Kris Maria, and I'm finally writing again :D
I've been off this for too long, just working on other stuff, sorry! Well, for those of you who don't know me, I'm Kris Maria, as I just said. If you go to my profile you'll see I already have a story, which is somehow really famous, and is also why I know like, half this fanbase. Since THAT was such a booming success, I'm HOPING this will get as good as that.
Moving on to this story! The idea for this was given to me by a friend on here, and she's pretty cool! Her pen name is MetaGiga, so go check her out. This story is…how can I say this…magically scientific? To sum it in a few words, Eridan fucked up. Big time. But, when has he not? Anyways, the main POV is Sollux (he's like, my favorite, so… ._.), I'm not sure if the POV will change, but if it does you'll know. NONE of the humans are in this, and there is NO SBURB or Prospit or Derse.
I guess you could call this a sort of sequel to The Problem with having a Seadweller Girlfriend. If you didn't read that prior to this, I won't yell at you about it. I honestly don't think you're missing too much, just relationship statuses. It's not that the relationships are confusing, it's just that you take in the personalities of the characters, and…they're all a bunch of stubborn sons of bitches (*gets shot multiple times*). Honestly, just think about it. Sollux and Karkat are way too stubborn to call themselves matesprits (although according to TPWHASG they both think otherwise), so thoughts asides, here they're moirails. Moirails with benefits ewe …yeah, no.
I don't own Homestuck or any of the characters. Enjoy the story!
~oxoXoxo~
Sollux's POV:
"Why are we here, again?" I ask KK. He and I are standing outside Eridan's hive.
"Cause he has something of mine I want back and I don't wanna be alone with him." KK keeps his arms crossed tightly against his chest. Ever since that time back when the incident happened (to me, might I add), whenever KK needs to go over to Eridan's hive he always wants me to go with him. I don't know why he does this, it's not like I hate it but…I don't know. It's weird, I guess?
"Ampora! Open up!" KK bangs on the door again. It was only a while ago that KK started calling fish fuck by his last name. Sometimes I do it too, but not all the time. KK might have warmed up to him a little but I haven't. Wait—HAS KK warmed up to fish fuck? Jesus, I hope not…ugh, now I'm all paranoid!
"I'm comin'!" Fish fuck yells from inside. I look down at the water splashing around our feet. I remember the last time we were here was when it happened. I can't even describe how happy I am to not be a half-fish freak anymore, or anything else. No fins, no gills, no…chest attachments. I'm not tiny, or in someone else's body. I've finally been able to relax since then. But remembering to back when Eridan 'helped' us… I'm just glad it's all done now. The door opens and Eridan sticks his head out. What was he doing? He looks like hell. "Hey Kar, Sol." He says.
"You have my books." KK shoves past him. He blinks lazily as I walk in after KK. His entire hive is a mess, what the fuck has he been doing?
"Sorry Kar, I wwas meanin' to get 'em back to 'ya earlier," he pinches the bridge of his nose (A.N: yup, still using those 'blueblood' terms).
"What the fuck have you been doing?" I ask him, he groans.
"It's a long fuckin' story, just don't trip ovver anythin', alright?" I nod. I kinda feel sorry for the poor bastard, he looks like he hasn't slept for weeks (A.N: is that even a thing in troll time? You know what, here it is).
"Where'd you put my books?" KK asks him.
"They ain't here?" KK shakes his head; Eridan closes his eyes as he thinks.
"I left 'em dowwnstairs then." He means the underwater cave under his hive. He turns to go into his respitblock, KK follows and I tag along after.
Eridan opens the secret entrance in one of his closets and walks down into the cave with me and KK closely behind. Everything is a complete mess down here. What the fucking hell happened?
"Ampora, what the fuck have you been doing?" KK asks.
He sighs, "I'vve been testin' out different spells an' elixirs. Yesterday I tried out one that had sopor in it, and…well I just wwoke up a feww hours ago." Sopor, huh? I guess that explains the mess. On the several desks by the far wall are various bottles filled all kinds of liquids. Strewn about the cave are tons of his shitty wands and most of the books are open to random pages lying about in random places. Even that huge glowing gem imbedded in the wall has a crack and a wand stuck inside it. "Hold on, I can find 'em." He stumbles off to go look in a pile of books.
"What the fuck happened down here?" KK asks me.
"I don't wanna know." Something catches my eyes. On a desk there's a book open with an empty bottle sitting on the pages like a paperweight. In the book the open page reads something in a different language, not Alternian language, something different, older-looking even. The image by the words is two bodies with arrows pointing both ways to their hearts.
"Here Kar," Eridan gains my attention again. I've noticed the color in his hair is dull and hanging in his face, and he has dark circles under his eyes, which are magnified by his cracked glasses. KK glances at me with small books in arms.
"Uh, you know Ampora, we could help you clean up." KK says. What? I don't wanna be here any longer than I have to! And now we're done, right? Let's fucking LEAVE.
"Really?" fish fuck's dark eyes light up.
"Don't take that the wrong way, fish fuck." KK glares at him but he smiles anyways.
"Wwell thanks anywways, Kar." He grins. He looks at me then with that stupid happy face.
"If you're thinking about hugging me, think twice fish fuck." I scowl at him.
"Wwhatevver. Thanks." He says. KK are you fucking SERIOUS about helping this fish freak? Geez…the one time KK chooses to be nice, the one time…!
It's been a little while. Almost everything is back in its place, and I am ready to fucking shoot myself. How did I get caught up into this? Can someone tell me again, please? I never asked to be here, Jesus Christ! We're back down in fish fuck's cave, we just finished putting most of the books back so now we can walk and not trip over something.
"Hey what's this?" KK asks sucking me out of my thoughts. Fish fuck and I crowd around him, me with a book in my arms. Hey, that's the book I was looking at earlier.
"Yeah, what ith that?" I'd be lying if I said I weren't curious.
"A different spell I wwas tryin'. I can't finish it myself, I think I need someone else to help me out." Well, looking at the picture that's kinda obvious. I shrug and put the book I'm carrying on one of the shelves.
"There anything elthe?" I ask. He shakes his head but doesn't look up from the book.
"No, thanks Sol" Being polite won't make the pain hurt less, dumbass.
I roll my eyes, "KK let'th go." I tell KK.
"Yeah, we're leaving. Don't make another fucking mess, alright? Cause next time you do I'm not helping." He yells at fish fuck. Then he looks up from the book. He looks better from earlier when we came here, his hair back to the asshole style it was and the circles under his eyes almost gone completely. The only thing that's really bothering me is his eyes. They look…dull. The yellows of his eyes are dark, like he's sick. Well I wouldn't be surprised, he said one of the elixirs he tried on himself had sopor slime in it so he probably is sick.
"Thanks." He says.
Walking out into his respitblock, I blow up on KK. "What the fuck, dude? The ONE TIME you choothe to be nice for a thecond, you uthe it on Eridan? What the fuck!"
"I wanted to go through his shit, is that too much to ask?" he snaps back.
"Why would you want to go through fish fuck'th thtuff?" (A.N: I love that goddamn lisp x])
"I was trying to check if he gave me back all the books, which he did." He holds up a bag full of the books he got back earlier.
I sigh, "All that torture jutht to check if he gave you all your damn bookth back, really?" We're standing in the entrance of fish fuck's hive now.
"Yes, really." He opens the door. "Hey, isn't it late?" he asks. I look up to the sky and see it's dark.
"Yeah. It'th thupposed to be almotht thunup." Why is the sky so dark? Then a bright white crack flashes across the atmosphere and is quickly followed by a booming thunderclap. KK jumps at the crash.
"O-okay, let's go back inside." His voice shakes as he turns on his heels back into Eridan's hive. Is he seriously afraid of thunder? (A.N: I've always thought of Karkat to be afraid of thunder. I don't know, he seems somewhat childish like that, doesn't he?)
"Dude, we can beat the rain if we book it back to my hive." I tell him.
"Don't care!" what—he's going back to the cave! What the hell, KK?
"Wwhat's up?" Eridan raises his eyebrows at us as we walk back in the cave.
"It'th a thunderthtorm, tho apparently we can't leave." I snap while glaring at KK, whose eyes are wide.
"Are you fucking DEAF? Didn't you hear the thunder out there?!" he's gonna start yelling. I roll my eyes at him and pull up the only chair that isn't covered in books.
"Do you twwo wwanna sleep ovver or somethin'?" Eridan asks. I open my mouth to say 'no' but a loud clap followed by a dull roar from up top cuts me off.
"U-uh-huh." KK is under a table looking like a little wiggler. Well, I'm staying in the hive of the one person I HATE because my best friend is terrified of thunder. Great.
The rain hasn't let up; I can hear it from down here. KK has made himself a little panic room with Eridan's books under that damn table. Since when has he been afraid of thunder? I am bored out of my damn mind, and my ass hurts from sitting in this chair.
"Hey Sol," Fish fuck calls me. He has his nose in the same book as earlier when KK and I were going to leave. He looks like he's sick; shouldn't he be in his recoopercoon?
"What do you want, fish fuck?" I get up and walk over to him. He shoots me a look and shakes his head. Hey, this might be something to do besides wait for my butt to go numb.
"Wwould you mind helpin' me out wwith this spell here?" he points to the open page. It's the same one I was looking at earlier.
"Uh, yeah I would mind. Bethideth, how can I help you? Thith thciency-magic bullshit ith your thing." Why would he need my help with his shit? More importantly, why would he ever think I'd help him?
"Oh, come on, it wwon't hurt."
"You don't know that."
"Sol~" he's WHINING. UGHH, SOMEBODY JUST FUCKING SHOOT ME ALREADY. I jam my fingers in my ears to try and block him out, but he just keeps getting louder. What the flying fuck is his issue—I don't even wanna BE here, just leave me alone already!
"SHUT UP!" finally I scream. He stops and he stares at me. "Look, shut the FUCK up and…" dammit, why me?
"And?" he says while leaning close to my face. He's touching me with his fins!
"I'll help you, alright, now get off me!" He jumps off with the most stupid grin on his face.
"Thanks Sol." I will KILL him if he does something weird to me—AS GOD AS MY WITNESS I WILL KILL THIS MOTHERFUCKER. He grabs one of his wands from the nearby table and holds both the wand on the book in front of him. "It says here to relax your body an' mind."
"Fine." I close my eyes take a deep breath and try to calm myself down. I should think about something else, something like…fuck, I don't know, uh…KK. He's been hiding in his makeshift panic room the entire time. I remember earlier I saw light coming out from a crack in the books, maybe he's messaging Kanaya? Yeah that makes sense; he usually goes to her when he needs to calm down. I guess he's still talking to her. Well, if he calms down maybe we can leave, that's a good thing.
"You ready, Sol? I'm gonna start it." Eridan says. I open my eyes again and see he's holding the wand upright between our faces.
"Yeah, whatever. Jutht get it over with." I'm nervous again. What if something weird does happen? Well fish fuck better be capable enough to damn well put us back to normal, that's all I know. I hear him start chanting in some language I don't recognize. This is stupid, why is he trying? Then it gets cold. It's slowly getting colder and…god, I'm tired. Not sleepy tired, just tired tired. What the hell? I can't keep my eyes open. My fingers go numb, then my hands, and slowly my arms…it's like my whole body is just falling asleep. Eridan's voice is wavering, or is it my hearing going out? I try to speak but I can't muster up the strength to make noise. I feel like I'm falling…
I open my eyes to the cave ceiling. The dull roar has stopped, I guess it stopped raining. Everything is all blurry, where are my glasses?
"Finally you're up!" KK yells. I sit up and see a figure walking over to me, must be KK. "What the fuck have you done now, huh?" he asks in his usual pissed off tone.
"I didn't do anything." I say. Wait…what's wrong with my voice? That didn't sound like my voice.
"I don't know fish fuck, mind tellin' me?" Fish fuck? Why is he calling me fish fuck?
"KK, what are you talking about?" Aw jeez, my head hurts. I lift my hand… Hey, I was NOT wearing long-sleeves. I look down at myself… why the fuck am I in Eridan's fucking clothes? I feel around the ground for my glasses, I find them but as I put them on I can't see out of them. Everything's still blurry and, red and blue, what the fuck?
"Quit fuckin' around with Sollux's glasses, you're gonna break them." I can do whatever I damn well please with my glasses. KK shoves something at me. "Here." I trade him my thin glasses for the thick one in his hands. I put them on and I can see perfectly. "Now get up and help me wake up Sollux."
"KK I'm right here, what are you talking about?" what the hell is up with my voice! I think…no. THAT didn't happen, THAT couldn't happen!
"Are you honestly this fucking stupid? You are the hopeless, annoying, the now even more stupid than before, Eridan-fucking-Ampora. Could I be any more specific?"
…what. I scramble over to a puddle in the ground and… Eridan's face is staring back at me. I look around and, there's my body. There's MY BODY, lying on the ground. My chest is rising and falling slightly, at least. Wait, that's not the point! My BODY is lying on the ground and I'm not in it!
"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit," My hands curl into fists as I close them over my temples. I'm in fish fuck's body? What the fuck!
"Now what's your problem?" KK asks annoyed.
"No, KK, it's me. It's Sollux." I grab his shoulders and almost lift him up to my face. Eridan's strong, why didn't he say anything before? (A.N: I believe since Eridan's high on the hemoscale-thing it makes sense that he'd be strong. I mean, Gamzee and Equius (somewhat) are high on the scale and they're strong, so it makes sense, right?)
"What the fuck are you doing?" KK looks at me weirdly.
"I'm Sollux, not Eridan." His expression stays the same. "KK you have to believe me, I'm serious!" Oh my god, I sound hopelessly desperate. With Eridan's voice… Is my torture FUNNY or something?
"Ohh, my head…" My voice says. I look over and see my body moving on its own. God, that is so fucking creepy. It…or I guess he since that's Eridan, grabs my thin discolored glasses and meets eyes with me.
"What the bloody fuck!" he yells. "It—I…what the fuck happened!"
"You tell me, you're the one who did this!" I let go of KK and turn to yell at him.
"I didn't…"his shock turns to realization. "Thith ith what that thpell doeth?" is he serious!
"You don't know what your own fucking spells do? What the hell, fish fuck!"
"Don't yell at me, I can fix thith!" hearing my voice talk without making me make it is so creepy.
"Then fix it!" His face goes blank. Oh my god, I'm gonna be stuck like this!
"Uhh," KK speaks up. "So…what I've just gathered is, Sollux is in Eridan's body and Eridan is in Sollux's body, right?" I nod. I forgot he was there. He slaps his face with his hand. "Alright, we gotta fix this bullshit somehow." But how? Mind telling us the FUCK how? Jesus Christ, I KNEW something bad would happen!
~oxoXoxo~
And, that's the first chapter! I think it turned out okay, what about you guys? Either shoot me a PM or leave a review please :] Thanks for reading, make sure to share your thoughts. I'll upload chapter two soon!
~Kris Maria -^w^-