A/N

Hello to you all, before I forget, I am not Joanne Rowling, but rather myself. (You are getting no more information than that)

This is a story about Lily sort of looking back on how she has been treating others, and how she responds to that.

This story really didn't come out like it was supposed to, so the beginning might sort of conflict with the rest of it, but whatever. :P So anyways, on with the story.

Lily Evan's Point of View

"Urg! Why does he always do the most arrogant things? Even if I just want to have a civilized conversation with him, and maybe put all of our "conflicts" behind and become friends with him, like you," here I pointed a finger at the girls sitting on the beds in a line inside the sixth year girl dormitory. "Keep on telling me to, because he "keeps on making stupid mistakes around me, because he loves me so much" I was getting very sarcastic and bitchy now, and I knew it. But I was just so wrapped up in my emotions, I couldn't control it. Here Marlene interrupted.

"We never said that! That was probably Remus!" Mary perked up at the mention of her long time crush, showing that she wasn't even listening to me; I took this opportunity, and used this to my advantage.

"Oh, don't worry Mary; your crush hasn't done anything wrong. Just you, not listening to me rant about Potter!" I was almost hysterical. Mary looked terrified. And so did Marlene and Alice for that matter. Dorcas was apparently practicing her poker face, but I couldn't let that bother me.

Trying to get myself together to be able to throw my next accusation about Potter at the girls, I sat down on the bed and thought about what I had just said. As my own words sunk in I realized just how terrible I was acting to my friends, the people that calmed me down when Potter did something horrible to me, like the last time, turning my eyes that marvelous caramel brown of his own eyes. And saying that that is what our daughter would look like when she was our age. My eyes wouldn't turn back to normal for a WEEK! Wait, did I really just think that? That Potter had marvelous eyes? No, no, he's an arrogant to-rag, a selfish little git, a, a, oh god no!

"Lily? Lily? Are you okay? You've been crying and rocking back in forth for the past five minutes," Alice, the most timid of us all, notified me.

I snapped out of my reverie, and noticed that she was correct. Tears were streaking down my face, and the other girls were looking at me with a look that was half terrified and half concerned. Looking at their faces I really saw just how scared they were of me, as if I was a bomb that could go off at any second. I was used to the students younger than us looking at me like that, hell; even some of the older students looked at me like that sometimes. But friends shouldn't be scared of their friends. "I'm sorry," I sobbed clutching onto the closest person to me, which unfortunately for Dorcas, was her.

"Why are you sorry Lily?" she persuaded me, clearly understanding the array of emotions that had probably just been displayed across my face.

"Friends shouldn't be scared of friends, and all of you are terrified of me," I looked up at all of them sorrow in my eyes, silently pleading with them to forgive me.

As the four girls glanced at each other, I closed my eyes, too scared to see the judgment on their faces. When Marlene softly said, "Lily, look at us," and unclenched Dorcas form my grip, turning me to look at her, "Lily, we aren't scared of you, we're just, um . . ." she looked at the others for assistance.

"Cautious?" offered a meek Mary.

Marlene snapped up the word, "Yes, yes, that's it Lily, we are just a little cautious of you at times." In a tone that was obviously supposed to be reassuring; but in reality, was anything but. She still sounded scared of me.

Myself, still emotionally spent, and the tears still coming down my face, responded, "Oh come on Marlene, don't even try to make me feel better, I'm a horrible friend and I know it, I scare you and yell at you when you do nothing wrong. No one should do that. I'm even harsher to Potter than he deserves. So what? He does some pranks, so do others, but do I yell at them like I yell at Potter? No. I'm just not being just." All the girls looked at me as if I was an alien that had come from the moon. "What?" I asked them, one hundred percent confused about why they were looking at me that way.

Dorcas piped up, "Um, Lily, are you sure you're okay? You just talked about James without yelling."

"See, this is exactly what I'm talking about, and if I even bring him up any more people expect me to start yelling. I have to go apologize to him." After a moments silence, I continued, "anybody know where he might be?"

Alice was the first one to respond, "common room?" she suggested.

I stood up and was about to leave to dorm, when Marlene blocked me way, "oh no you aren't," she said.

"Mar, let me go, please. I have to do this." I was practically begging now.

"Oh, I'm going to let you go alright, James deserves an apology. But I can't let you go looking like that." She continued.

"Looking like what? I look fine." But out of the corner of my eye I saw Mary, Alice and Dorcas shaking their heads at me, and that let an inkling of suspicion enter my voice.

Marlene dragged me over to the bathroom, and her stash of hair supplies and make-up. But before she did anything, she positioned me in front of the mirror and demanded, "look."

I did what she said, and looked. In all honestly I didn't look that bad, I mean, people could look worse, and I sure knew that the quidditch players did after a practice in rain. See the problem is not something that I really did, if I was to talk to James, then why not let him really see me? But by Marlene's standards, I was probably a negative one hundred on the beauty scale at the moment, and no guy was to see me like that. And I knew, that this would turn into a big and bloody fight if I put up a fight, so I relented, and told her, "You can fix my hair, to make it like I normally have it, and if you want get the tear streaks to disappear, and even deruffle (A/N is that even a word?) my clothes. But under no circumstances are you to "beautify" me in anyway, other than the things that I just listed. Is that understood Marlene?"

I could see the internal battle that she was having within herself, but in the end, she agreed to my terms, with a small, "okay," that somehow managed to convey just how much she wanted to put some makeup on my face.

As I walked down the steps to the common room, I could hear Potter and Black laughing at something, hearing them, reality sunk in, and I really realized that I was about to apologize to Potter, the guy that the whole school knew I hated. The guy that forced Severus to call me that name. The guy that has asked me out or tormented me in some sort of way at least once a day, that was the guy that I was about to apologize to.

I saw Alice out of the corner of my eye, and she gave me a small nod, along with the words, "You can't back out now Lily, and you apologizing to him will only make you stronger in the end." Somehow, those words reassured me, and I went around the final curve with renewed confidence in my step. I knew that it didn't seem as if I had been crying my eyes out just ten minutes earlier.

As I walked into the common room, I spotted the Marauders, Potter was sitting on the chair closest to the fire, with Remus sprawled on the floor in front of him, reading a book, and Black was conversing with Potter and sitting on the arm rest of his chair. Peter was nowhere to be found.

As I walked to them, the girls went off to our usual spot to wait for me, and supervise. The closer I got to Potter the more people looked at me, because it had become an usual occurrence for me to have a yelling throw down in the common room with Potter, usually either starting or ending with him asking me out. But this time, I didn't have that mad glint in my eye, this time, I was calm.

When I was just a couple steps away, I saw Black nudge Potter and say, "Prongs, I think Lily-flower there finally broke, she is coming to you voluntarily."

This caught Remus's attention; he looked up, and commented, as if on the weather, "She isn't mad at you this time, try to keep it that way, will you?" before going back to his book.

Hearing this, I smiled. Remus was the one marauder that was actually okay, I wasn't really sure why he hung out with the rest of them. Of course, I knew about his lycanthropy, and that he was an amazing person with a great heart. Maybe there was something more there . . . Lily! Focus! You are to apologize to Potter. I chided myself.

As I stopped in front of him, he opened his mouth to start speaking, but I got there before him, "don't speak," I warned, "or else I might get to angry to tell you what I want to tell you."

"I would listen to her if I were you," Remus interjected, before Potter could get anything in.

I looked over to the girls to steel myself for the reactions that were sure to come, and I saw that now the whole common room was deadly silent, and still, all eyes, locked onto the foursome that we created, Potter, Black, Remus, and I. But as my eyes locked with Alice's' she gave me another reassuring nod, and I looked back at Potter. Took a deep breath, and began.

"Look Po-Ja-Potter. I just wanted to say," I took a deep breath, "that I'm sorry for how I have acted to you for the past approximately, really just a little less, than six years. I have yelled at you for the smallest actions, actions that everybody does. Heck, even I probably do them. I have yelled at you for doing things that I was wishing that I could do without ruining my image. Some of the time I yelled at you was just to keep up the image of myself that I had created." Looking the shimmer of hope that had entered Potter's eyes, I quickly added, "No this does not mean that I will go out with you," as an afterthought, I added, "at least not now," but it was so low that I don't think anyone could of heard it. Not even Remus with his enhanced hearing. I continued on with my tirade. "So I was hoping, that maybe, I could stop yelling at you as much, if you maybe stopped pranking harmless people and asking me out as much. So I guess I came down here for two reasons, to ask for forgiveness, and also to propose that both of us sort of calm down in our own areas and have a sort of truce." I took another deep breath, "again, I'm sorry."

I slowly turned around through the mass of staring bodies back to my dorm. But before they boys got out of my hearing range, I heard Potter ask the rest, "So what am I supposed to call her now? Lily? Evans? Lily-Flower?"

Remus replied, "I don't know, why don't you ask her, just don't ruin it for Merlin's sake! She is finally being nice to you!"

In reply to that, Potter yelled out, "OI EVANS! What am I to call you now?"

I slowly turned around, and glared at him, "Evans, Potter, you are to call me Evans, and I will call you Potter, and you shall not scream at me when I am still only about twenty feet away from you, seeing as all these people are perfectly quiet," I now pointed at the masses surrounding us, not even trying to cover up the fact that they were staring. I again turned around and walked back up to my dorm.

The second I turned to corner, the common room was buzzing, and I heard the portrait of the Fat Lady swinging open and close a couple times. Great I thought this will be all over the school in less than half an hour and we still have dinner. Thank goodness we have class tomorrow. There is no way I could be holed up in the dormitory all day tomorrow. I had sunk to the floor, and I now stood up, climbed up until I reached my dormitory, and collapsed on my bed. The door to the dormitory swung open and Marlene whooped, "you did great Lily" Way to show all those people that there are other sides to you than the girl that always yells at James!"

"Mar, that made no sense." Dorcas said for me, "But Lily, you did do great, all those people were so stunned by what you did, it was awesome!"

As Mary and Alice also gave their input, both very similar to Marlene's and Dorcas's, I laughed and said, "Thank you all, just can I rest now? I have to start being nice to Potter at dinner tonight, which is in about an hour, and I really need to let that sink in some more." As they let me be, I leaned back, thinking, what have I done!

Oh, and I might of created an OC (Mary) I'm not sure if she actually exists in the Harry Potter world. But whatever, I know that Marlene, Dorcas, and Alice are all real.

Anyways, can you all please review this story, and then also go on to my FictionPress account (same user-name) and look at my stories there.

In your review, tell me if you want me to continue this (there would only be one more installment most likely), or is it okay as it is? Also if no one says that I should continue this, I will put it up for "sale" and you can take this idea and morph it into your own story.

One more thing, this wasn't betaed, so all mistakes are mine, and mine alone.

P.S. Hi, I have just updated this, and really, if you read it all again, then I applaud you, and I realize that I should put this at the top, but I don't feel like it, so I just want to say that all this is is me fixing a few minor mistakes, and then also changing Mary dating Remus, to Mary just having a MEGA crush on Remus.