Title: Price of Service, The
Round 24: Team Angst – Rare Pairings/Anomaly
Author: lilacs_roses/jadvisioness
Pairing/Characters: Colby Granger/Ian Edgerton; Ian Edgerton/Don Eppes
Rating/Category: PG / implied slash
Spoilers: the 'spy' storyline – Janus List, Trust Metric
Summary: Colby's been incarcerated and Ian can't handle it
Warnings: tissue warning! partner betrayal; major character death; couple of bad words
Beta: Rambler, Laura_Trekkie
Anomaly – noun: a deviation from the common rule, type, arrangement, or form.
Author's Notes: I've only participated in two of the writeoff's – this being the second – and when I saw it was to be the last, I really wanted to do something; then I saw it was for 'rare pairings,' and my mind automatically went to some mix of Don/Ian/Colby.
This particular piece comes from a story that is in my 'to be written' folder – an excerpt of which is in my LJ – but with a completely different twist. This wrote itself – taking me only about an hour to get the major stuff down and when I asked Rambler to read it, she said, and I quote: "… took my breath away [almost made me cry]… tissue warning definitely in order… it's good!"
Many heartfelt thanks to my wonderful readers/betas for everything. You are all wonderful and awesome!
This fic was written for the Angst vs Schmoop Challenge at numb3rswriteoff. After you've read the fic, please rate it by voting in the poll located here, (your vote will be anonymous). Rate the fic on a scale of 1 - 10 (10 being the best) using the following criteria: how well the fic fit the prompt, how angsty the fic was, and how well you enjoyed the fic. When you're done, please check out the other challenge fic at numb3rswriteoff. Thank you! [Those reading via will have to go over to LJ to activate the links due to FF disabling them.]
**N3**
He could still remember that day. How Ian had taken him in the stairwell just off the seventh floor of the FBI building… using gun oil for lubrication. Colby knew that Ian hadn't meant it to go beyond that – that it was just to get him to stop making goo-goo eyes at the man – but… it didn't; it didn't stop there because something had happened, something that had surprised both of them – for different reasons.
And then, over the course of the next few months, whenever Ian was in the area, they got together. It might have started off as some type of weird fuck buddy situation but it didn't stay that way for long. Within the year, they'd agreed, in a round about fashion, to be exclusive – something that Colby didn't have any problem with at all considering he hadn't been intimate with anyone, let alone dating, since before his time in the military. However, it surprised him that Ian would want to do anything like it, let alone that it had actually been Ian who had suggested it.
Now, a year down the road, Colby was in the interrogation room, but not as an agent this time… this time, he was the one being questioned… questioned hard by Special Agent Don Eppes, his boss… his co-worker… his friend.
Spy.
Traitor.
It was hard enough dealing with his co-workers; having to look at them and pretend to be what he was supposed to be – he had a job to do; almost three years of undercover work would be blown, right here, right now, if Colby didn't make all of them believe that he was working for the Chinese.
But having to face Ian… the man that he loved with everything he was… was… Colby thought he'd break right then and there.
Seeing the emotions swirling around in the eyes of his lover, Colby knew that, no matter how the mission went, Ian would never forgive him for his deception. That even when – or if, what he was doing was dangerous – it was found that Colby was only undercover, that he was one of the 'good guys,' he and Ian would never be the same. This assignment would be the culmination of the best and worst of his life. It had led him to his lover, someone who he could see himself growing old with, and it would rip him away from Colby as well.
Colby's mind and body might not have broken there, but his heart certainly shattered when Ian's eyes shuttered to him and the man turned and walked away from him.
While Colby had known that any relationship he had had with the sniper would be null and void, he hadn't expected for the man to… move on so quickly to someone else. And he'd certainly not expected to walk in on them having sex in the bed he'd shared with Ian for almost two years, especially after just getting out of the hospital and still recovering from the torture he'd gone through on the freighter.
And last, but certainly not least, Colby had never expected to find the man he loved, and lost, to be having said sex with his boss.
Twenty-seven years later…
The Assistant Director in Charge of the Los Angeles Federal Bureau of Investigations office and his husband felt obligated to attend the funeral of Senator Colby James Granger. They hadn't spoken to the man in well over twenty-five years and now, whatever may have been said would never be voiced.
It was a funeral with all the pomp and circumstance that was deserved for a man of Granger's reputation and importance. And thus, to those who knew the man – or in their case, had known him – it was something he would have hated. His coffin was draped with the flag and was adorned with pictures of him – one in uniform and one in a suit, shaking hands with the President – as well as some of the more important medals that had been given to him throughout his career in both the military and the FBI.
As his widow – they had been married for only three years – sat in the first row of foldable chairs near the coffin, her eyes bright with unshed tears but sitting strong and tall, a variety of people took their places around her.
It seemed to take forever but then the Folding of the Flag was finished and the flag was given, with all due ceremony and respect, to Mrs. Granger, who nodded her head and laid it in her lap, her hands curled lightly around two of the three cornered sides.
They were there, but did they have any need… or right… to give her their condolences? They didn't know anything about the woman other than what was available to the public, and any relationship whatsoever they had had with Colby had long since died.
The decision was taken out of their hands when two men approached them and asked if they would accompany them to see the woman. When they came to stand in front of her, curious, she gave them each an intense look and smiled slightly; a smile that didn't reach her eyes and seemed to be there only because of the need of being in public.
"My husband thought you might attend his funeral, for whatever reason, whenever it was." The woman had a pleasing voice that was marred by the obvious emotions she was dealing with. Holding out an envelope, she gave it to Don. "This is for Mr. Edgerton." Before Don could do anything else, the woman was already speaking again. "It was Colby's… wish… that this be given to you also." And with that, she rested the precisely folded flag into Ian's hands and took a substitute from one of the men who'd escorted them over to her. Without so much as a nod, Mrs. Granger turned from them and made her way over to the black limousine that waited at the curb.
Don and Ian were left stunned, blinking in her wake. Ian looked down at the flag he held in his hands and swallowed. Don put a hand up to his husband's shoulder and turned them to head to the car they had rented at the airport.
Once safely behind the heavily-tinted windows, Don looked to Ian and his husband nodded. Handing the envelope to him, Don watched as the other man set the folded flag in his lap and then carefully opened it and withdrew the paper inside.
Ian,
If you are reading this, then I'm gone and someone, Sarah probably, has made sure this has gotten to you per my wishes.
I know. It's been a long time since I've spoken with you but I needed you to know that… I never stopped loving you, Ian. My marriage is in name only; Sarah and I have never even shared a bed. She knew that my heart belonged to someone else and that I would never be able to love anyone else. However, she also knew that I needed 'a wife' in my life to go along with the image of a Senator. It took her a long while to convince me that she would be the perfect cover….
While I know that you have never forgiven me for my deception, I have forgiven you for… believing that deception and for everything that led you to move on. I am glad that you and Don have managed to have the relationship that you do, that you obviously love and cherish each other and are content.
That said, I could never be happy with… what happened, and I can't ever forget. It's the reason why I left LA and cut all ties with those I once knew there.
I knew that following the Granger way into service would demand a lot of me, but I had no idea that I would have to give so much. I not only gave up my life on that freighter or when I went back into the service after leaving the FBI and LA, but I was forced to give up my heart and my spirit as well.
I can only hope that everything I did made some difference, because it killed me in the end.
Know that I love you, Ian, still, and that I have loved you with everything I had in me.
I can only wish you and Don the best and hope that whatever comes your way gives you a good and happy life.
Yours.
Always,
CG
Tears that had made their way down his face, fell from Ian's jaw and onto the paper. As the last was read, Don reached out to him, putting his hand on his thigh.
Ian bowed his head, his shoulders began to shake a little and Don simply moved over and folded his husband into his arms.
**N3**
Author's Notes addendum: For those of you who may recognize the brief description of "… How Ian had taken him in the stairwell just off the seventh floor of the FBI building… using gun oil for lubrication…." congratulations :) For those who didn't, I simply decided to use one of my one-shots as the basis for their getting together.
Second, for those who didn't understand how 'anomaly' fit in – (as noted by Rambler) 'not many people love only one person like Colby loves Ian' and 'for Colby to be a spy… his behavior would be an anomaly from his real behavior.'