Goodbye Cruel World.
The inspiration for this story came from a mix of things, but mainly, because it's my first story, I wanted to try my hand at angst and well, I thought this would be a good start.
Warning: Character death.
His mind was racing. His heart pounding. Logan Mitchell couldn't cope with the fame that Hollywood brought him. Sure, he loved spending time with his friends, but Logan always felt that life wasn't for him, especially under the revelation that he was gay. Like he didn't belong. He never had any ambitions, dreams or goals.
He never looked forward to the future, including Big Time Rush. It was like he was stuck in a forever turning cycle of depression. And he needed a way out.
He never thought he could do it, didn't think he'd have the guts to down 8 tiny pills in one go. But he did it. He did it to end the suffering that was his life. But as he zoned out, his eyes growing dark and the colours of the world turning a hideous grey, he felt at peace. He felt.. at home.
He laid there, spread out on his bed, 4 envelopes scattered around him as his body shut down. He took one last breath before closing his eyes and never waking up. Serene and peaceful.
The 4 envelopes contained letters to his closest friends. The people that have tried to help him, encouraged him to enjoy life. He thought that he at least owed them a reason for his decision to end his life. And that's what he did..
Dear James,
You were always annoying and repetitive with your constant obsessions on your Cuda products, your lucky comb and 'The Face'. But that made you unique. Special. You were always there for me, even sitting up with me all night when I first attempted to end my life, to make sure I wouldn't try again. I remember your exact words.. "You're suppose to be the smart one so stop being an idiot". You were always caring to everyone around you. Taking the time to help them out despite your own troubles. I couldn't have asked for a better friend.
Dear Kendall,
The leader of our pack, the only that kept everyone from killing each other. You were always such a good listener and always had the time to listen to my fears and worries. You always had such good advice, as if you've experienced it all before. Everytime I looked down, you always threw your arms around me and pulled me in for a hug. You always seemed to make me feel safe and protected against the world that seemed to hate me. You were my rock.
Dear Camille,
Sure we've had our ups and downs. You took my coming out really well, despite us being in a relationship at the time and you always were there when I needed a shoulder to cry on. You tried to help me out, a lot, helping me come to terms with my feelings and overall need of love. You became like a sister to me, someone I could always trust. You made sure that I was never alone, forcing one of the boys to stay with me or you doing it yourself, and I'm forever grateful for your help.
Dear Carlos,
This is gonna be hard for you to come to terms with. We've always been the closest out of the group, best friends in fact. You were everything I needed in my life, to help me cope with the rollercoaster despite your own fears. I never got the chance to say this to you Carlos, but when I came out, my feelings for you grew. I loved you Carlitos. I loved you more than anything in this world. You were literally my only reason for staying alive. But it was tough, knowing that you didn't feel the same. I'm sorry for doing this to you, but, I hope you can one day forgive me.
Logan's lifeless body laid softly on the bed, his face overwhelmed with peace. For once in his life, Logan was finally happy..
Yeah, so, hope this was okay for my first story!