It was still early morning, the light of the young sun drifting softly through the partially opened blinds of the old kitchen the only source of light as Remus moved softly around. He never particularly enjoyed being up this early - he was certainly not a morning person - and he avoided excess light at all costs. Maybe he needed to be up, but that didn't mean he had to be happy about it.

A soft mutter escaped him absently as he accidentally burned his finger on the kettle, his lips quirking into a slight scowl as he glared in irritation at the offending object. The finger raised to rest in his mouth for a moment before he returned to his task of preparing tea, this time taking much more caution with the movements.

He was due to head north today for the Order, some task he was assigned by Dumbledore. He dreaded the journey, as he knew it was a moot point continuing the tasks he had been engaging in, but the headmaster had been quite insistent that he go anyway. None of these 'special missions' had been fruitful in months and he despised the cold, but Dumbledore's word was absolute.

His hands gripped his chosen mug firmly at the reminder of the frigid temperatures he would have to face in only a few hours' time, a small part of himself hoping that he could somehow steal the heat from the tea to keep himself warm.

The almost inaudible pecking at his window caused the werewolf to jump, his attention so firmly set on both preparing his drink and his thoughts that he had almost forgotten the outside world.

Both the kettle and his mug were set aside as the young man turned to regard the source of the noise – a medium sized, black owl sat was perched on his windowsill, it's dark brown eyes staring almost unnervingly at him. It was Sirius' owl, no doubt about it.

Remus found himself frowning slightly at the bird, but he moved to open the window to let in it regardless. It had been months since his friend had sent him anything through owl mail, as their last few interactions had not gone exactly smoothly, and he was secretly relieved to see that it wasn't a howler attached to the bird's leg. He'd received a fair amount of those from the dark haired male and they were never pretty.

Snapping his beak in obvious distaste with how slowly Remus was moving, the bird glared at Remus until he finally reached forward and untied the letter from its foot. The owl is just as impatient as it's master, the werewolf mused as he grabbed an owl treat with his free hand. The messenger owl gladly accepted the food, lightly nipping at Remus' finger in thanks before he was off again.

At least the bird was better at getting over its temper than his friend, the man smiled, his fingers deftly untying the string of the paper so that he could read the neat scrawl,

Remus,

Be around your place at 5 today, we need to talk. It's important.

A bemused frown immediately painted the werewolf's scarred visage as he read and reread the incredibly short letter, his eyebrows furrowing as he struggled to process just what was going on. Sirius hardly ever sent a short letter, especially not one that seemed so serious.

"What on earth is he up to…?" The man mumbled mildly to himself, the last traces of sleep fogging his brain fading only to be replaced with anxiety.

Sirius certainly did not seem happy; he had even used Remus' first name to address the letter. Sirius always titled his letters with the nicknames he and his friends had used at Hogwarts. There was no room for argument, that was clear, and the werewolf found himself uncertain of what to do. He was supposed to disapparate to the North before noon to find the pack he was meant to interact with. They didn't know he was coming – they never did, much to Remus' discontent – but Dumbledore had wanted him to get there at a certain time regardless. Something about how they were running out of time to make allies and so they had to act with careful haste. However, he hadn't really spoken to any of his friends in far too long – with Sirius constantly on his own missions, James in hiding with his wife and son, and Peter off on tasks and doing whatever it was he did with his free time.

The idea of seeing his dark haired friend pleased Remus, despite the fact that their last meeting had resulted in the werewolf's angry departure. Sirius had seemed to hold some form of anger towards Remus, for reasons he couldn't even begin to guess at, and Remus had been too tired from the past day's full moon to care. Tensions always ran high during times of war and Remus had figured, later, that that was what had caused Black's outburst. His best friend was being threatened and Remus couldn't fault him for his unease.

Perhaps they could make amends for that unfortunate meeting that day if the news Black was bringing wasn't too bad.

Setting the mail down, Remus returned to his tea, his mind made up. He would simply meet up with Sirius at 5 and then depart for the North. It wasn't exactly what Dumbledore had wanted, but it would work out. It wasn't as though the headmaster would know anyway.

Xxx

The rest of the day passed slowly. Remus, having been planning to leave much earlier, had already packed the night before, leaving him with nothing more to do than tidy up his rather beaten up apartment, drink tea, and read.

He was just preparing another cup of the beverage when there was a knock on his door. A discrete glance at his watch informed the werewolf that it was 5:08 – that must be Sirius.

With a small smile pulling at the corner of his lips, Remus set the kettle down to instead grab the door. A quick glance was cast to the peephole – because one could never be too careful during a time of war – before the door was opened.

Sirius Black stood at his doorstep with a decidedly blank expression that did not falter even when Remus smiled at him. He looked thoughtful and determined and Remus felt his smile disappear. What was going on?

"Sirius, it's been a while." Remus greeted politely as he stepped aside to let his friend in, his gaze curiously following his friend's back as he entered and headed straight towards the kitchen table, "Is something wrong?"

The animagus appeared to not hear him as he disregarded both of Remus' comments. Instead he merely sat down at the kitchen chair closest to the door and took to staring at the werewolf immediately afterwards. His gray eyes were hard and devoid of the amusement that usually caused them to sparkle in the light.

Something was very wrong.

"Padfoot…" Remus said softly, his attention flickering from his friend to his half prepared tea in uncertainty, "Would you like some tea? I was just making some when you knocked."

"No. Thanks." Sirius' voice was gruff and to the point and Remus knew better than to argue.

"Alright…"
It was silent as Remus finished making his tea and quietly sat next to Sirius, an eyebrow raising as he leveled his friend with an expectant look.

"Where have you been, Remus?"

The mug that he had started to rise to his lips paused at the direct question, his attention immediately flickering from the dark liquid to instead stare at his friend in surprise.

"What do you mean?"

Sirius appeared to bite back laughter at the response, although he couldn't detect a trace of mirth on Sirius' features, nor could Remus even begin to fathom what would have been funny.

"Don't play ignorant with me." Sirius frowned, his elbows moving to rest on the table as he leaned closer to Remus, "All those Order meetings that you missed, where we you?"

The werewolf paused at the demanding question and he lowered his mug to rest on the table, his fingers still curled around it. He wasn't allowed to answer that question, Dumbledore had warned him not to, and Remus struggled to find a way to answer it without flat out fibbing to the other.

"I've been on missions; you know that Padfoot."

The nickname was used in an attempt to calm his serious friend, but, if the sudden tensing of his posture was any hint, it did exactly the opposite.

"Bullshit. If you've really been on missions than what were they? Where did you have to go?

"I can't tell you." Remus replied shortly, his gaze refusing to meet Sirius' narrowed eyes as he thumbed his quickly cooling cup of tea uncomfortably, "I told you… I promised I wouldn't, not yet."

"You promised, did you?" Sirius' voice was uncharacteristically cold as he spoke, the hands resting before him on the table clenching into tight fists as he just barely managed to resist the urge to punch his friend, "And that promise is more important than the promise you made us, huh? To be loyal and never join them!"

Remus felt as though Sirius expected him to understand his vague accusations, but he could do nothing but stare blankly at him. He doesn't know what his friend wants from him, but, if it was an apology for their last conversation, Remus certainly didn't felt as though he was the one that ought to give it.

"Just what is it that you're accusing me of doing?" Remus asked cautiously, his tone and expression apparently far too calm for the other because, instead of placating him, it seemed to anger him even more. His gray eyes were glaring far too harshly at the tawny haired man and he began to feel uncomfortable, though he refused to show it. He met the fiery gaze with his own defiant one and that appeared to be what finally cracked Sirius' already weak self-control.

Within seconds Sirius was standing from his chair and throwing himself towards Remus, the conversation and Remus' refusal to back down seeming to only fuel his ire. The movements all happened so fast, faster than either of the men could really fully acknowledge. There was the sharp clatter and splash of a mug full of tea smashing onto the floor, littering the otherwise clean kitchen with the cool liquid, before the clanking of chairs falling and two heavy bodies hitting the floor echoed throughout the sparse apartment.

"How could you do it, Remus?!" It was the first time in years that Sirius actually used his first name, and the intensity in gray eyes now hovering inches over his own brought Remus to silence, "How the hell could you side with him?!"

They lay there, surrounded by broken glass and fallen chairs, Sirius's tackle having resulted in his pinning Remus to the ground as he glared at the still shocked man below him.

Remus couldn't wrap his head around the whole thing, his gaze still a bit fuzzy from the assault his head had taken upon his initial landing on the floor, and it took a few long blinks before the werewolf could finally see his seething and hurt friend's face clearly.

What was he talking about? Remus breathed, brow furrowing and pinned arms twitching as he attempted to figure out why Sirius was so angry about him helping Dumbledore. Certainly his being around other Werewolf colonies wasn't any of their concern, and honestly he couldn't even begin to figure out how it was that his friends would have even learned about that. Dumbledore had made it clear that his being a spy was to be kept confidential from everyone, even his friends.

"Sirius, I don't…" Suddenly breaking off mid-sentence, Remus's light eyes widened in a melancholy combination of disbelief and realization, his gaze meeting the other man's although he's hardly about to acknowledge what he was seeing. His stomach, currently holding most of Sirius's weight, dropped as he finally acknowledged what his friend's accusation really meant, "Wait, you're accusing me of being the spy. You think I'm the one that has been telling Voldemort about James?"

The grip on his biceps tightened uncomfortably at the mention of James' name, and Lupin couldn't mask the grimace that seized his features at both the grip and the furious look Sirius was directing at him. He's never seen the other man level one of those glances at him before, and, instead of infuriating him, he feels himself deflate.

If Sirius was confronting him about this, it meant the others must have already known and thought the same thing. His friends had already decided that he was guilty without even asking Remus and that realization hurt him more than any physical damage an angry Sirius could deal him.

"Don't you dare say his name." Sirius growled, face lowering closer to Remus's in a clear threat, "Are you denying that you are?! Then for once in your life be honest Remus! If you want me to believe that your disappearances haven't been to see Voldemort, where have you been?"

For months, at Dumbledore's commands Remus had been disappearing for days on end to meet with the small packs of werewolves throughout Europe. Dumbledore had enlisted his help to attempt to convince them to, if not join their side should Voldemort start a war, to at least not join his. Dumbledore had insisted that, if they had any chance of ever gaining their assistance, it would only be through the negations of a fellow werewolf and, fortunate or not, Remus had been the only candidate Dumbledore knew he could trust.

"Ask Dumbledore…" Remus finally said weakly, his teeth gritting as he struggled internally with what to do. If he told Sirius the truth he'd be betraying Dumbledore's trust, but, if he lied, he'd lose the best friends he ever had.

Dumbledore would have to understand. I don't have a choice.

"Where I've been is with other werewolf packs." A pregnant pause full of tension had lapsed through the air between Remus's initial response and his new one, his tone wavering in thinly veiled pain, "Dumbledore gave me a special mission that I wasn't allowed to tell anyone about, not even you guys. He made that clear. With Voldemort rising in influence and promising dark creatures perks for joining his cause, Dumbledore was afraid that he'd be able to get a lot of the more neutral packs to join him. So, he sent me to try and convince them to join our side."

A hollow laugh escaped Remus before he could help it, his eyes closing in exasperation as a small, mirthless smile quirked the corner of his lips. Above him he felt Sirius's stance waver and the grip on his arms became nearly nonexistent.

"A lot of good that did us." Remus chuckled dryly, the burning sensation of someone watching him convincing him to keep his eyes closed as he continued. He couldn't meet Sirius's gaze now or he was afraid he'll lose all ability to continue telling the story, "The wolves may not like Voldemort and his cause, but I think it's pretty safe to say they hate wizards even more. Not that I can blame them, really. What can I really offer them, after all? Voldemort has promised them potions to help with transformations and equal rights. What do we have for them? Prejudice and hate? I dare say the only thing a lot of them hated more than wizards was a werewolf who let himself become their 'pet'. Some chased me right out, and I couldn't blame them, but there were some who let me stay around, though I don't think I got anywhere with them either."

Remus allowed silence to lapse around them for several moments before he finally opened his eyes again, a part of him almost afraid to see Sirius's reaction. Would he believe him? Or did they already hate him so much that they wouldn't believe anything he said?

The sight that met him didn't help the nausea settling deep in his gut. Before him still sat Sirius, although he didn't look nearly as angry as he had. Instead his disposition screamed skepticism and mistrust and the werewolf found himself once more incapable of holding the dark haired man's gaze. That is the look that everyone gave him once they discovered what he was, a monster, a freak, and, seeing it on the face of the man he secretly loved was too much for him.

Took him long enough to finally see me for what I am, he couldn't help but think sardonically, his head lolling to the side in defeat. They finally realized dark creatures couldn't be trusted and, if I'm was honest, I can't blame them.

"…Do you have any proof…?"

The question was uttered so softly that Remus almost thought that he imagined it, his head snapping back to look in bewilderment at his friend.

"…Ask Dumbledore…" He found himself repeating, his voice almost as soft as Sirius's own, "He's the only other person who knows about what I've been doing."

"No, I don't have time for that. If you aren't the spy, then it means I've made a mistake that I have to fix immediately. Find another way to prove it."

Eyebrows furrowing in evident confusion, Remus leveled a bemused glance at his suddenly stiff friend. What did he mean that he made a mistake? What was going on that he wasn't aware of?

"Okay…" The werewolf slowly agreed, opting to hold off his own questioning until his innocence was proven, "But, in order to do that, I'm going to need you to get off of me."

Immediately Sirius' expression morphed back into one of distrust, his chin tilting up as he regarded Remus from the corner of his eyes,

"Why? How do I know the moment I move you won't hex me and run off to your leader?"

"Because…" The sneer came out dry and hurt as Remus glared at Sirius, "In case you haven't noticed, I haven't got my wand on me. If you're so intent on detaining me at least just shift your weight off my stomach so I can lift my shirt – and, before you say anything, it's just to show you the proof you want."

The dark haired male visibly hesitated at the request and, after apparently deeming the request alright, gave a slight nod before he moved to adjust his position. Instead of sitting on Remus' stomach, he moved to kneel between his legs, his arms raising off of Remus only to swiftly pull his wand from his pocket to point it at the werewolf. Remus steeled his features at the display of blatant hostility, refusing to allow the other to see just how much it pained him.

"I told you the communities weren't happy when I visited them as a human. So, Dumbledore thought that, perhaps, visiting one on the full moon might allow my wolf self to fall into a pack dynamic with them. He hoped that, if their wolves bonded with mine, they would be more in favor of listening to what I had to say." Remus snickered softly at the sheer memory of the story, even now realizing how ridiculous it sounded. But, he supposed, Dumbledore had been desperate when he had the idea and Remus had been too, "Turns out their wolf selves hated outsiders even more than their human parts did."

Without further ado the werewolf sighed and, sitting up, lowered an arm to grip the corner of his shirt before yanking it up with a quick movement. There was a gasp of shock that reverberated from the dark haired male and, despite the fact that Remus refused to look at either his stomach or his friend, he knew precisely what inspired the reaction.

"Admittedly, I'd never known much about werewolf culture. I never really cared to. These trips helped me learn a great deal, though. I can't blame wizards for hating us."

Remus stopped himself before he could continue, certain that Sirius was no longer paying any heed to his voice. Instead he seems transfixed on the still healing wounds lacing Remus' pale, white skin. Remus had always had scars littering his lithe body, white, ghostly lines that reminded him every day of what he was, and Sirius had seen all the wounds more times than he could count. Every full moon he would awaken as Padfoot, wrapped around the cold, shaking and naked body of Remus, and he had once admitted that he had come to memorize the imperfections. Years before Sirius had revealed that he had grown to see them as accentuating Remus' good looks rather than taking away from them, though the werewolf never could say he agreed. It gave him a certain ruggedness that his rather timid and uncertain body language hinted the opposite of.

Now, however, there were fierce red lines overlapping the past scars, the bright color an alarming contrast to the fading purple and green bruises covering the vast majority of his stomach. He knew it wasn't these marks that caused Sirius to gasp though, as he had seen wounds like these numerous times in the past when Remus' wolf-self had been particularly angry at himself. Instead, it was the fresh bite mark that was placed directly on top of the one Fenrir had given Remus when he was merely four years old. The wound was a brighter red than the other fading cuts, and the distinctive outline of teeth – canine teeth – can still be distinguished through the mess of healing skin.

"Merlin Remus…" Sirius finally breathed after moments of silence had transpired between them, pausing only a second longer before he carefully lowered a hand to hover above the vicious bite, "This… This is the same exact kind of bite…"

"Yes, it's remarkable how well they managed to replicate it," Remus mused bitterly, silently relieved that the other man had finally said something to break the uncomfortable silence that had fallen over them for the past few minutes, "Hurt like hell, but, on the bright side, I didn't have to worry about the side effects of the bite like I did last time. Can't turn someone who's already a beast."

Sirius seemed to acknowledge that Remus was attempting to crack a joke, but the slight break in his even voice as he uttered the word 'beast' no doubt made it clear to the dark haired male that he didn't find anything about this conversation even remotely amusing.

"You're telling the truth…" The words were uttered in such sheer disbelief that Remus could tell he spoke without thinking. His gray eyes widened as he turned his attention finally away from the wounds to stare at Remus' face, "You're… Bloody hell, you're telling the truth… And I was sitting on that, gods Moony, why didn't you tell me!"

"You weren't exactly keen on listening to me, now were you?"

Swiftly scrambling fully off of the downed man, Sirius moved to sit just off to the side of him, his mind running wild as he contemplated just what all of this meant.

There was only one creature that could have replicated a bite like that, and there was no way Remus would have been able to bite himself. That means he really is telling the truth and damn it, that meant that Moony really wasn't the worm. It also explains why the last full moon, which had been two weeks prior, had been one where Remus insisted they needn't come.

It means that Remus was innocent – he didn't turn on them, turn on him!

Before he could help himself Sirius wrapped his arms around the younger man's shoulders, his head nestling in dirty blonde locks as he dragged his friend's head against his chest in sheer relief,

"Merlin I'm so sorry Moony! You were just always disappearing for long periods of time with such piss poor excuses that I thought…. Shit, we thought you betrayed us, but you didn't, because you're Moony, and I'm a bloody idiot…."

"Well, I can't exactly argue with that…" Remus chuckled breathlessly, still slightly taken aback by the abrupt change in his friend's attitude. He went from willing to curse him to embracing him so fast that, had he been anyone other than the dramatic Sirius Black, Lupin would be concerned for his mental health, "Sometimes I think James is right – you would make a better dog than human. At least then you'd be a tamable idiot."

Another joke, Sirius realized, and his expression fell into one of concern at the small voice Remus was still using. The dark haired male had just accused his friend of committing one of the worst acts possible – betraying their family.

"I just thought… It just made sense…" The words didn't make any sense, neither in his mind nor aloud, but the animagus didn't appear to care, his mind racing too swiftly for his jumbled up speech to even really register, "They seem to know all of our personal information… Stuff that only the four of us would know… The rat couldn't have been James, his family is the one being targeted for merlin's sake, and you kept disappearing without saying why. Then Peter…"

The minute the name slipped past his lips everything fell into place and, had Sirius not still been holding Remus, he thought he may have thrown up.

If Remus was going on undercover missions for the Order, and he and James weren't the spy, that could only mean…

"It's Peter…" Remus forced his face away from his friend's quivering chest when Sirius spoke, his own visage morphing into one of befuddlement as he acknowledged how pale his friend had become, "He's the spy… He must be… But then… SHIT!"

Before the werewolf even knew what was happening Sirius bolted upright, sub sequentially yanking his friend up with him as he seemed to forget that he still held Remus in his grip.

"We have to go – No, I have to go. You have to rest, and I… Oh Merlin I hope I'm not too late…"
Sirius was already sticking his wand back into his pocket and was halfway to the door before Remus mustered up the ability to speak, his brain still failing to actually compute just what the hell was going on.

"Wait, what are you talking about? If it is Peter you should talk to Dumbledore, or, hell, even Peter himself. You're the secret keeper, so it should be fine if-…"

"I'm not."

"Pardon?"

Boot clad feet uncomfortably shifted from one to the other as Sirius stared anxiously from the door to his bemused friend. He knew Remus deserved answers, real answers, but he just didn't have time now. Not when he so royally screwed everything up.

"I- shit Moons – I thought you were the rat so I- I convinced James to change secret keepers. Damn it, I don't have time to explain right now, but I need you to know that I'm not the secret keeper. Peter is. I thought he was safe and that you -… I'm such a god damn fool!"

A hand thrown through the fading, dull gray wallpaper of Remus' apartment caused Remus to jump and Sirius to wince in slight pain, though he knew he deserved it.

"Peter, that rat, is the secret keeper, which means he's no doubt gone off and told Voldemort exactly where to find them and I can't let him get to them first Remus. I have to go."

With that Sirius was out the door, leaving a perplexed and pale werewolf in his wake.

"He's innocent," Remus almost snarled, the anger he was barely suppressing making itself known by the clipped edge in his usually even tone and the tightly clenched fists at his side, "He told me that the Potters changed secret keepers! They changed it to Peter because they didn't think they could trust me."

His voice wavered at the last word and he involuntarily winced at the memory of Sirius' furious and accusatory words, but he continued nonetheless. Now isn't the time to dwell on that, he reminded himself. Now he had to convince Dumbledore that Sirius was innocent and, as a result, should be released immediately. It had been three days since the event that turned his life upside down and it was only now that he had finally managed to get into contact with Dumbledore.

"H-He went to the Potter's the minute he realized that Peter was the spy but he -…" Remus' words trailed off at that, his hand gesturing vaguely towards Dumbledore in silent explanation. He knew the Headmaster could figure out what he was attempting to convey- the guy was smart and, honestly, Remus still couldn't bring himself to outwardly admit what had happened to the Potters. It was almost as though saying that they were dead aloud would make it more official than it already was and Remus couldn't – wouldn't deal with that right now. James and Lily, as much as he loved them, were beyond his help right now. But Sirius, there was still a chance the werewolf could save him.

Harry too, Remus suddenly remembered, his light eyes meeting Dumbledore's own as that realization suddenly dawned on him. Harry's parents weren't around anymore and Sirius, his legal godfather, was in prison. There was no one to take care of him.

As though aware of the inner turmoil boiling behind the slowly slipping façade of the other man, Dumbledore slowly sipped on his cup of tea as he allowed him to slowly center his thoughts. With how calm and collected the elder looked, Remus almost though they were discussing nothing more than the weather, and the werewolf felt his temper rise.

"I believe you." Dumbledore finally replied when several moments of further silence elapsed and the werewolf made no further move to speak, "However, this situation is a terrible one to be in, I'm afraid. As far as I and the other Order members are aware, Sirius Black was the secret keeper for the Potters and, while I do believe what you say, I fear others may not. Black actively sought out Pettigrew and, as many eye witnesses claimed, killed him. That does not look good for him nor does it assist in adding credibility to his story."

Remus' stomach dropped at the pitying tone in the Headmaster's voice and he gulped, the stiffness previously strengthening his posture all but disappearing as he slumped despondently onto the chair he hadn't so much as glanced at since he walked in.

"But I know, I can tell them. They can use whatever they want to make certain I'm not lying. I even-…" Remus paused abruptly as he watched Dumbledore raise his hand up in a clear order for him to stop, his eyebrows furrowing together in confusion. However, he did as he was told and took to merely staring at his past headmaster.

"Remus, as much as I know this pains you, I need to remind you of not only the position Black is in, but also the one you will be putting yourself in if you choose to associate with clearing his name. While I, who has known you since you were a child, know better, I cannot say that other Ministry officials will not regard your word with considerable suspicion. You have no evidence other than Black's word and I, regrettably, most remind you of your condition. People would be skeptical to believe a memory of Black entrusting me with that information, but, for a werewolf…" The older man trailed off with a small, sympathetic frown, his hands clasping on the table right beside his empty cup of tea, "They may very well believe that you had something to do with the betrayal, as the Potters themselves suspected that of you."

Remus winced at the reminder but Dumbledore continued nonetheless,

"My boy, I am truly devastated over what has taken place, however there is little even I can do to ease the situation. The only advice I can offer you is to recover and do not lose hope. I have a feeling one day a situation will arise that will allow us a better course of action, but, as of now, you can only save yourself. I can assist you in escaping questioning from the Ministry as an accomplice of Black, but only if you do not try and incriminate yourself by repeating to anyone what you have told me."

Before he was fully aware he was making the expression, Remus blanched, not able to believe what he was hearing. There's nothing Dumbledore can do? So he's willing to allow Sirius, the most loyal, amazing, innocent man he knows, to wallow away in that hell hole? Why? Why is he so insistently cryptid with his words?

"You aren't going to help him…" Remus murmured more to himself than Albus, his previously clenched hands raising to shakenly rub at his face, "What of Harry, Dumbledore? What has become of him?"

"I arranged for Hagrid to take him to live with his Aunt and Uncle. He should be there by now. Lily died protecting her son, so the blood protection will do well to protect the boy should anyone decide to attempt to attack him again."

Remus lowered his hands just enough to reveal his tired eyes once again as he considered Dumbledore's response, the dark bags under his eyes making him appear years older than he actually was.

"His Uncle and Aunt…" Remus repeated dryly, tired mind foggy as he mulled those words over in confusion. James was an only child and his own parents had passed away already, as had Lily's. That could only leave….

"You cannot be serious!" The werewolf shot up from his seat once again and he felt his blood run cold as he glared at his past headmaster in sheer outrage, "You can't possibly believe leaving Harry with Petunia and her husband to be the best course of action. Lily told me how much her sister abhorred magic, as did her husband!"

"I know, Remus." Dumbledore attempted to reason, his smile attempting to placate the other man, "But it is the safest place for him right now. Voldemort might be weakened now and for the foreseeable future, but there are many death eaters still at large that would like nothing more than to be the one to end the life that killed their leader. The blood protection that Lily left for Harry will keep him protected better than any spell you or even I could cast. I'm sorry, Remus, if I could give him to any other family I would, but the fact remains that my hands are tied."

"That may be so," Remus conceded, his gaze settling entirely on the headmaster, "But is allowing the boy to endure years of abuse really worth that protection? I know Petunia, Professor, and I know that Lily would never want her sister to raise her magical son."

He paused for a moment, trying to piece together his argument before he continued,

"I know I wasn't his godfather – that was always meant for Sirius, but I'll take care of him. Please, James and Lily both would prefer that over the alternative, given the circumstances."

Dumbledore's eye soften at the plea and Remus knows he already has a rebuttal to his request. His empty stomach dropped– he hadn't been able to keep anything big down since their deaths- and his hand reached down to grip the arm of his chair tightly.

"Remus, there is nobody else out that that could be as sure as I am that you would make an excellent father, however I must remind you of the strengthening werewolf regulation laws. To get them to allow you to adopt any kid, let alone the 'boy who lived' would be near impossible. Not to mention your financial situation…"

The headmaster's voice softened at his last few words until he eventually trailed off, his blue eyes glistening with the same sympathy that Lupin always hated.

"Is there nothing I can do…?" His spoke so softly that he wouldn't be surprised if the older male didn't even hear him, but at that point he wasn't sure he cared or even wanted to know the answer, "Is my only option truly to just move on from this? To allow two of my best friend's son to grow up in a home where he is not welcomed?"

Appearing to take mercy on the slowly deflating man before him, Dumbledore intertwined his own hands and rested them under his chin,

"The best thing you can do now, Remus, is, as I said, to heal. Harry will need you one day, though I'm afraid that day may not be as soon as you may like. It is, however, crucial that you do not do anything rash until then. We do not want Harry knowing anything of his magical heritage until the day he joins Hogwarts, for his own safety. Be patient, my boy. I understand that what I am asking of you is something I have no right to, but I must regardless."

Numbly, Remus nodded and stood up from his seat. Dumbledore had made his stance on the matter very clear.

"I see. I- I have to go."

With his brain whirling and limbs feeling heavy, Remus rose from his chair and was halfway to the fireplace before Dumbledore spoke again,

"Please take care, Remus, and remember what I have said to you this night. We have already taken far too many losses; we cannot afford to lose you as well."

"I-… Yes, Professor. Good night."

Floo powder was scooped and thrown into the fireplace in silence. Remus waited for the flames to turn green before he stepped in and shouted the location of his apartment. The world spun around him and he felt weightless and numb for a moment, one glorious moment, before his feet met the wood of his floor roughly enough to jar him. He blinked, once, twice, before he could clear his bleary vision enough to make out the old furniture mere feet from him.

It was only now, when he had escaped the penetrating gaze of Dumbledore, that Remus allowed himself to truly feel. His hands rose to grab at his hair and his vision was once again blurred, though this time by tears.

In one night he had lost everyone that he held dear and, now, the only person he believed to be able to help him had flat out insisted that there was nothing to be done. Sirius would remain at Azakaban for a crime he would never commit and Harry, young Harry, faced a life of neglect and abuse.

So now, his options exhausted, Remus felt the adrenaline that had been surging through his veins since he had learned of their deaths disappear and he suddenly felt nothing but empty. Wet sobs rocked his body and he barely managed to drag himself to the couch before he allowed himself to wallow in the pain. He would never be able to visit the Potters again, never be able to discuss books and joke with Lily or talk and play games with James. He would never be able to hold Harry in his arms and read to him, nor would he be able to meet up to grab a coffee with Sirius when the missions got to be too much. Peter, one of his best friends, had taken all that from him.

Peter, Remus suddenly thought, his watery eyes flickering up to gaze at the flames still dancing in his fireplace, he must still be alive. Sirius may have had a temper, but there was no way he would have killed Peter by setting off an explosion that would have also killed innocent bystanders. Besides, his body was never found, a suspicious fact, and Remus momentarily nursed the likelihood of Peter faking his own death.

Peter always clung to those that he perceived to have the most power, which would explain why he had turned to the side that he thought was winning. It hurt the werewolf to admit it, but he supposed that hindsight was really 20/20. His loyalty to his friends had blinded him from realizing that Peter, by sheer personality, would betray them with the drop of a hat if he believed their side to be losing. He valued self-preservation above all else, and, now that Voldemort had been 'killed' by the boy Wormtail helped him get to, Remus imagined that the death-eaters wouldn't be too happy with him anymore. They would no doubt blame him for their leader's fall, leaving Peter in a rough spot.

But then, if Peter had not been killed by Black as everyone thought, what had happened? Wormtail's body had been nowhere in sight, save for his finger, so what became of him? The muggles had not reported hearing a loud crack, so he couldn't have disapparated, and he was cornered, so there was no way he ran…

That is, unless he ran as something that wasn't a human… A human running from the scene would have been sighted, but a rat… In a dirty, old corner of a muggle street, no one would have batted an eye at seeing a rat…

Remus' blood ran cold as he realized what had happened and he felt his tears decrease as his thoughts took a turn. That was the only thing that could have made sense, he was sure of it. Sirius wouldn't have lied to him like that if he was the one guilty of murdering his friends. If anything, if it really had been Padfoot that was a mass murderer, why would he not have killed Remus before he left? During their confrontation Remus was not in possession of his wand, as it had been left on the counter while he was brewing his tea. There was nothing stopping Black from murdering him before he went off to kill Wormtail.

His hands rose to roughly wipe away the warm tears still slipping down his cheeks, his sadness swiftly morphing into anger. If his suspicions are correct, and he truly believed they were, then that meant there was still hope, however faint.

If he could locate Peter and turn him in, then he could prove Sirius' innocence. Then, once Sirius was free, they could fight to get Dumbledore to allow Sirius guardianship of Harry, as he was his rightful godfather. By catching Peter, he could, at the very least, save the two people that were not completely lost to him quite yet.

Now, the only problem was, how?