"Don't touch anything. Don't say anything. Don't look the Tallests in the eyes. Don't stare at the Tallests. Don't speak to the Tallests. If the Tallests speak to you, you can only say "yes, my Tallests". Don't be rude. Don't be smart. Obey my every command and don't contradict Zim or I will rain down a hail of DOOM upon you!" Zim piloted the Voot Runner closer to the Massive. "Do I make myself clear?"

Gir nodded.

"Good. And you Earth-monkeys just be good."

"Call me that again, Zim," Gaz stood, rolled up her sleeves, and clenched her hands into fists.

"Gaz, we're in the middle of deep space and he's the one driving the ship. Do you really want to start this now?" Sam hissed.

Gaz gave her a look so dark that Sam reeled backwards and hit her head against the window.

"There are video games on that stupid space ship thing, right?" Gaz asked, crossing her arms and sitting back down. She missed her video games more than she missed her own father.

"Games? There will be no time for games! We will be starting a new mission as soon as we get there," Zim said.

"Do you really think they'll give you another one?" Dib asked.

"Of course! My Tallests wish there were more of me to give even more missions to."

"One of you is plenty," Sam scoffed.

"I really am amazing. Glad you agree." They could almost hear the wooshing sound of the insult going over Zim's head.

"Are we there yet?" Gir crawled over the seat and peeked over Zim's shoulder, his little arms clinging on to his master's back.

"Almost. The Massive is just up ahe-"

"Are we there yet?"

"Gir, I just said-"

"Are we there yet?"

"Yes, Gir! We're there! Alright?"

Gir squealed and broke for the button that opened the window. The Earthlings in back shrieked and yanked him away.

"But master said-"

"Your master's a dirty rotten liar!" Sam said.

"Hey!" Zim called back. "Remember who's suppose to be a respectful human slave."

"Sorry, our master is a dirty rotten liar."

Dib laughed and Gaz smiled. Gir looked sadly to Sam. "So, we're not there yet?"

"Nope."

Gir sat down and folded his hands. "...Are we there yet?"

"I don't know, Zim." Tallest Red walked by the line of humans to examine them like show dogs. They were in the control room, where the Tallests always seemed to be, and Zim had just told them the story he and the humans had agreed upon. "They seem kind of...small. What makes you think they'd be good help?"

"Small? They're the same size as me, my Tallest."

"As I said, what makes you think they'd be good help?"

"Wait," Purple cut in. "Did you say you left Earth because it was no good?"

"My Tallests, they may not be the brightest and one might have a freakishly large head-"

Dib was about to protest, but Gaz pinched his arm.

"-but I assure you, with my brilliant brilliantness I will be able to train them to be the best slaves the Irken race has ever seen."

"I don't know. We've had a lot of slaves," Red said, skeptical.

Purple looked to Zim. "How is Earth no good? Weren't you completely obsessed with it not even a few days ago? What changed?"

"My Tallests, with my superior leadership skills and intellect, these filthy worm-babies will surpass all the other slaves put together!"

"Can they talk?" Red waved a hand in front of the humans' faces.

Gaz, Sam, and Dib had been standing very tense and very still, looking forward. They had to in order not to laugh at Zim's ridiculous self-praise and to keep themselves from interrupting the conversation. They relaxed slightly when Red got close to them.

"Hello, humans," he said slowly as if they were foreign speakers.

"Hi," Sam said.

"Hello," Dib said.

Gaz growled. She was going through video game withdrawals and it was not pleasant.

"All your reports made it seem like Earth was a great place to conquer," Purple continued. "And why didn't you warn- uh, tell us ahead of time that you were coming back? It would've been nice to get a heads up."

"Purple, can I see you for a second?" Red pulled the second Tallest aside and dropped his voice so Zim and the humans couldn't hear. "We can't have Zim back here! Operation Impending Doom 2 was just starting to get serious! Zim will mess it all up again!"

"Then let's give him a new planet to take over and send him on his way."

"There are no other planets. Earth was found by mistake, remember? And I am not letting him get a planet we targeted for Doom 2."

"Then give him something to do here that will keep him so busy he won't have time to mess anything up."

Tallests Red and Purple thought for a minute, then perked up as they both got an idea.

"Alright, Zim," Tallest Red said, coming back to the group, "since you were the one who brought these, uh..."

"Wonderful additions to the Irkens' slaves," Zim said.

"Yes, that. Since you brought them, we are giving you the exclusive honor of training them. Teach them how to clean and build stuff and whatnot."

"They already know how to do all that," Zim said. "Don't I get a new planet to take over?"

"But this is far more important, Zim!" Purple said. "Everything will crumble if our slaves aren't trained to perfection! Even a tiny mistake will...will make things crumble!" Zim didn't respond. "And if you train them well, we will let you train all the future slaves."

Red made frantic "no" gestures behind Zim's back, but was too late.

"Hmm," Zim said, "an army of Irk's pathetic and defeated enemies under my amazing rule? Obeying my every command? Yes! Yes, I'll do it! Thank you, my Tallests! You will not be disappointed!"

Red and Purple forced a smile. "Great," Red said through clenched teeth. "Well, off you go then. I'm sure you have a lot of training to do." He quickly ushered the group to the door. "Bye now."

"Thank you again, my-" The door slammed shut.