The Ice Man Bringeth… The Pain!

** PERSONAL JOURNAL OF JOHNNY SNOW SUPER HERO EXTRAORDINAIRE**

July, 24

So I think I finally figured out this whole super hero thing. Cool super hero name, check. I mean come on, Johnny Snow; I was born for crime fighting. Cape, double check, found a cool one with a hood built right in. Super hero lair, still working on that one, mom says I can have the garage if I'll just clear out all of my action figures and get a "real job". What does she know? How can I work at some soul crushing minimum wage hellhole when there's evil lurking the streets just waiting for the cold clammy hand of justice to come crashing down. I mean come on, it's right there in the word. What do you need to stop crime and evil; "Just-ice". Speaking of which, super awesome catchphrase, check.

Now all I have to contend with is my absentee nemesis, Dr. Horrible. He still won't return any of my e-mails. Probably too busy not taking over the world. I waited for over 45 minutes in Dooly Park and nothing. I think another strongly worded e-mail on that joke of a blog of his should do the trick.

** PERSONAL JOURNAL OF JOHNNY SNOW SUPER HERO EXTRAORDINAIRE**

July, 25

Tried to confront the good doctor today, but was jock blocked by that wannabe tool Captain Hammer. Captain Hammer, What kind of hero name is that anyway? He doesn't even carry a hammer! Where is the hammer you giant bastard?

Anyways, downloaded the plans for sweet snowball cannon from a guy in China. Just have to find a way to keep the snow… you know… cold. Right now it's more of a "lukewarm water cannon". While inconvenient, it doesn't really strike fear into the heart of anyone. Well, except maybe Cat Woman. Ha! I'm so clever.

Chapter 1

A Hero and His Cape

"Really doctor, there's kids in that park?" Johnny said turning from his monitor in disgust. "Do you see this crap Ryan?"

"What the hell bro? I'm trying to raid here!" Ryan said not looking up from his own monitor. "You're supposed to be healing us. Game face bro!"

"I have more important things to worry about right now." He said as he stood up and threw open his closet.

"More important than me kicking your ass for bailing on us? Damn, you just got us all killed!" Ryan screamed. To a normal person, what Ryan saw when he turned around would have been shocking. " Oh balls, not this again!"

Standing before him was Johnny Snow super hero extraordinaire. Or, as he was known to the rest of the world; Jonathan Snowitski III… in painted rain boots and a parka. This whole get up was a recent obsession of Johnny's that his family was choosing to ignore.

"That's right friend, wherever there is crime, wherever a child cries out in pain, wherever there is…"

"Shut up dude." Ryan interjected. "You know your mom will kill you if she sees what you did to her parka, right?"

"Fear not citizen, for I purchased this with my allowance. And it's not a parka, it's a cape." Johnny said irritated.

"What are you doing? We have work in an hour."

Moving to the window and preparing to jump, Johnny said. "Justice waits for no man!"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Ryan tried to warn.

"To the Snowmobile, hiya!" Johnny said leaping.

With a crack, a thump, and the sound of shattering lawn gnomes, Johnny landed in the yard below. Ryan poked his head out. "I tried to warn you."

"I think… I broke… my pelvis…" Johnny said weakly.

"You fell five feet, onto grass, and rolled into those gnomes. You're good bro." Ryan said.

"Shut up and get the first aid kit, you ass!" Johnny yelled stifling a sob.

After patching his various boo-boos, Johnny continued on his journey. He was headed to The Sanctum, a meeting place for heroes such as himself. Situated in the stockroom of his local comic store, it was the one place he knew he could go for help with his dreaded nemesis. It may not be as fancy as Captain Hammer's command center, Johnny thought, but was the command center next door to a pizza hut. I don't think so.

Johnny entered the store and heads turned as he made his way to the back.

"Halloween isn't until October dude!" A customer said as he passed.

"Up yours good citizen," Johnny called over his shoulder, adding under his breath. "You'll rue the day you douche."

As he entered The Sanctum he noticed that it was fuller than usual. At the head of the table sat DJ Red Chariot, MC and de facto leader of The Sanctum. The true leader in The Sanctum was Gay Batman, but he was banned from the store for reasons unknown. Seated to the DJ's right was Chives, his faithful butler and friend. Johnny thought it was strange that someone who could afford a butler was using the rundown store room of a comic shop as a base of operations.

"Ah, Mr. Snow, good of you to stop by," Chives said hefting himself out of his chair. "To what do we owe the pleasure sir?"

"I've finally had it with Dr. Horrible." Johnny said. "I need your help DJ."

"Yeah!" Said the DJ.

"How can we be of assistance sir?" Chives sighed disinterestedly.

"Well, so far my efforts with the snowball cannon have been less than fruitful," Johnny said.

"Word!" The DJ interjected.

"And Dr. Horrible seems to be getting better equipped every day." Johnny continued eying the DJ. "I saw that you were able to help the Blonde Bombshell with her jetpack design, and I was wondering if you could do the same for me and my snowball cannon."

"Cold!" Replied the DJ.

"I think we can assist you." Chives added. "Laptop sir?" He said to turning to the DJ.

"What?" Asked the DJ.

"The laptop sir, can you hand it to me?" Asked Chives, annoyed.

"Cool!" Said the DJ handing him his laptop.

After a bit of searching Chives found the correct file. "Is this to your liking sir?" He asked turning the laptop toward Johnny. On the screen were the plans, not for a new and improved snowball cannon, but an ice beam.

"Of course," Johnny said excitedly. "What do I owe you for this?"

"Nothing sir, our reward is success in defeating Dr. Horrible." Chives replied, handing Johnny a disk of the schematics.

"What!" Replied the DJ.

Johnny got up and headed for the exit before they could change their minds. Finally, Johnny thought, with these I'll be able to stop the doctor for good. Now he just had to make it to work on time.

"Copy Hut, ho!"

A/N: This is my first fic, let me know what you think.