"Birthday Dance Party"
A/N: I was bored at work and started listening to some music. I remembered I had just seen White Chicks and this idea popped into my head. I wanted to see how Shepard would be like if she was all girly and stuff. Don't hate me if get some things incorrect. Remember to never drink and drive. Or in this case fly a very large ship.
Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect and their characters. They belong to Bioware tears. I just like to make them do the things my weird little mind comes up with. XD
Nobody likes to get reminded of how old they are becoming. Shepard dreaded the thought of her upcoming birthday. She would rather get spaced again than be reminded that she was well into her thirties. She thanked her cybernetics for at least giving her a younger appearance. Somehow Garrus had convinced her to take a few days off and celebrate appropriately. Shepard was digging through her closet looking for something semi appropriate to wear. Outfit after outfit she scattered her clothes about the floor. Nothing. She had absolutely no item of clothing fit for going to a club. They had docked on the Citadel not long ago and the crew was getting ready for shore leave. Who could she ask for something to wear? As athletic as she was, she was still very petite. She couldn't ask Tali. An exosuit wasn't really something she would want to wear. Miranda? No. Her clothes would be too big. She might be skinny but her boobs and ass were huge. She doubted Samara had anything and she was definitely not going to ask Jack.
Garrus was working on some calibrations when he heard the door hiss open behind him.
"Something you need Shepard?"
"Gaarruuss!" Shepard sounded like a little child. "I have nothing to weeeeaaaar!" She dragged her feet towards Garrus and rested her forehead on his chest. "Get me something to wear!" She pouted and looked up at him with sad puppy dog eyes. Garrus flinched at her tone of voice and remembered how pampered she had been. Her parents were both in the Alliance and as an only child she was used to getting everything she wanted. She was indeed a tough and fearless leader but strangely was still the girliest woman he'd ever known. Garrus rubbed his forehead and looked down at her.
"I don't think you'd fit into anything I have Shepard." Shepard smiled and looked up at him. Garrus knew that look. She was about to ask him for something.
"I know! We're gonna go SHOPPING!" Shepard wiggled her fingers next to her face.
Oh no. Here we go again.
The last time he had gone shopping with Shepard she gave a woman a bloody nose because she was trying to buy the last set of black stiletto boots in her size. Of course she ended up getting them only to decide she didn't want them later because they were not in fashion anymore.
Shepard pulled Garrus along going in and out of store after store not finding what she wanted. Garrus was ready to hold Shepard back when the clerk at the store they were in informed Shepard that the woman who just left had purchased the last pair of red stilettos in her size. Shepard was insanely obsessed with shoes. As much as she complained about not having anything to wear her closet was stacked and cramped with shoes. Garrus couldn't comprehend why she needed so many. It's not like she could wear them out on missions. Who could possibly be able to run around killing enemy's in six inch stiletto boots? He was surprised that Shepard didn't react to her imminent loss. His surprise didn't last long as he noticed that Shepard had actually shifted her attention to something else. She stepped out of the store and started walking towards a store across the ward. Her eyes glistened as she entered the store. The store was dedicated to 21st century designer clothes. Shepard always thought that the clothes and shoes they had not were very boring. Everyone dressed the same and she always made it a point to stand out. Her eyes got wider as she spotted the perfect pair of shoes.
"Garrus! I love these!" She picked up a pair of pink Christian Louboutin glitter pumps and hugged them. And much to her luck they were exactly her size. Garrus nearly choked when he saw the price. Luckily Cerberus was picking up the tab. Miranda would be so pissed off that she had wasted thousands of credits on clothes again. But then again, Garrus didn't really care for Cerberus. Shepard walked up to the clerk and handed her the very large credit chit and stepped out of the store with a grin from ear to ear. They both walked from store to store for what seemed to Garrus like an eternity. Shepard purchased a few more items and with Garrus at her side they made their way back to the Normandy.
1-1-1-1-1
Tali was brushing Shepard's long black hair as they were chit chatting about the event. Tali mentioned to Shepard that she wished she could wear pretty dresses like her to which Shepard responded that she looked beautiful just as she was. Tali and Shepard had become best friends ever since the first Normandy. When Shepard and Garrus got together Tali was the first to know about it. The previous day she had gone shopping for a new outfit and today was the day she would show it off. As Tali placed rollers on her hair Shepard powdered her perfectly tanned face. She outlined her baby blue eyes and brushed her eyelashes with mascara. Shepard inspected her makeup as Tali snapped the last roller in place. She stood up and walked towards her closet to grab the newly added outfit.
Garrus was in his room fidgeting with the watch Shepard had bought for him yesterday. Turians didn't wear this stuff he thought. But lately he had found himself doing things he normally wouldn't do. Since meeting Shepard his life had gone upside down. He loved the woman to death but sometimes she could be so unbearable. Upon Shepard's request Garrus exchanged his usual armor for a civilian outfit she had bought for him a while back. She said it made him look 'sexy'. Whatever that meant. Garrus finished grooming himself when Shepard entered his room. Garrus was in awe. She looked beyond beautiful. Her long black hair had thick curls and she was wearing a tight, black tube dress that was barely at mid thigh. And of course, Garrus looked down, her pinky Christian Louboutin pumps, that matched her pink lipstick.
"Wow… Shepard… You look amazing." Garrus felt a flush of heat creep up his face.
"Aw. Really? You're so sweet!" Shepard reached up and kissed Garrus.
Tali was waiting for them near the airlock. Her usual purple suit was replaced by a white and pink exosuit still as tight as usual. They exited the airlock and walked towards the nearest rapid transit station. Shepard had invited the crew to celebrate with her but only a handful had accepted the invite. They took several shuttles and made their way to the club. Shepard had called ahead of time and made arrangements with the owner. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she was looking forward to the celebration and had the club decorated to her specifications and chose the music she wanted played. Shepard was a big fan of 21st century artists and she made sure they had a wide variety available for her.
Garrus noticed the stares they were receiving as he stepped in the club with Shepard hanging from his arm. He was past feeling uncomfortable now. He ignored the glare and made his way towards the VIP section of the club. Soft pink lights adorned the walls and the tables were covered in pink glitter.
I'm assuming Shepard REALLY likes pink.
Shepard sat down next to Garrus and motioned for the bartender to bring them drinks. Tali sat next to her and the rest of the crew was scattered around the club. Some were already dancing and others were standing next to the bar chatting. The waiter approached them with a tray and placed their drinks on the table. In addition to the drinks the Turian waiter handed Shepard a small, pink, glittery bag. She squealed and wrapped her pink polished fingers around it. From the bag she took out a sash that said "Birthday Princess" and a shiny, encrusted tiara. Immediately she placed the tiara on her head and propped the sash over her shoulder.
"Oh, Keelah! You look so cute!" Tali squealed as she fixed the tiara atop Shepard's head. Shepard sat at their table drinking her fuzzy navel when she suddenly jumped up and screamed.
"Oh my goddess! I love this song!" She grabbed Tali's hand and pulled her to the dance floor. The two women started to dance moving their bodies along with the music.
Garrus was mesmerized. He couldn't help but stare at his lover. The way her body swayed from side to side, the way her hips moved hypnotized him. Her hair flowed like water as she danced in perfect rhythm with the music. Shepard had asked him to dance with her before but he had refused. Turians didn't dance like this. Their bodies were built differently and there was no possible way he could imitate any of the moves Shepard was making. All he could do was stare in awe.
Shepard's back was against Tali as they moved their hips from side to side bending their knees and getting closer to the floor. Her hair was flowing left to right as she raised her arms above her head and moved her body in sync with the music. She enjoyed dancing very much. During her time in the Alliance, dancing was the one thing she could count on when she felt stressed. As Tali and Shepard dominated the dance floor a group of Asari made their way to the dance floor. The girl in the middle of the group raised her hand and the music suddenly changed. Some techno stuff started to play and the women began to dance. As they twisted their bodies the Asari who had motioned the music change gave her a challenging glare. Shepard looked back at Tali who was standing with her arms crossed. She couldn't see her face but she knew she was glaring right back at them.
"They wanna battle. Bring it." Tali raised her hand and motioned the DJ to change the music. Suddenly the club was filled with fast electro techno. Tali stepped to the middle of the dance floor and the dancers moved away encircling her and the group of Asari. With a quick motion Tali began to Rave to the music. The Asari that was obviously the leader of the group motioned a yawn and stretched her hand in front of her as she approached Tali. Tali stepped back and the Asari began to dance. The crowd was cheering and the Asari sent another challenging glare towards Shepard. Shepard just stood there leaning on her hip with her hands across her chest. The music changed and Tali once again took the dance floor. Her movements were fluid and in perfect sync with the music. Tali could see the annoyance in the Asari's face as she stepped forward and motioned the DJ once again. This time the music was something sexier and the two other Asari's stepped in. They pressed their bodies together and moved their hips from side to side. Their arms moved in motion with the music, running up and down their bodies and the bodies of each other.
Garrus stood up to see what was going on when he caught sound of the commotion. She noticed Tali was in the middle of a crowd dancing as Shepard stood off to the side. The look on her face made Garrus shiver. The look on her face was the same one she had when she was about to go into battle. He couldn't understand what was going on. He walked down the stairs from the VIP room and made his way towards the dance floor. He noticed that the music changed and now a group of three Asari's were dancing. Garrus gulped as they grinded their hips together and their hands moved about their bodies. He made his way to Shepard and was about to place his hand on her shoulder when she raised her hand and signaled for him to stay back.
Tali was watching the women dance and suddenly stepped back. There was no way she could match their moves. After all it was only her out there. She started to wonder why Shepard was just standing off to the sides. A rush of anger came over her as she realized she had been defeated. The Asari leader walked towards her with a smug look on her face. She placed a hand on her hips and with the other shoved Tali back.
"Ugly girls like you should just stay inside their cages." Tali could feel her blood boil. She was about to punch the Asari when she felt a hand hold pack her fist. Shepard stepped up and stood in front of the Asari. She placed her hand on her hip as she leaned on it and raised a finger.
"I know you hookers don't think this is over." Shepard motioned the DJ. "Let's krump it!" As the music began the Asari group jumped back staring at Shepard in disbelief. She started to krump and the crowd cheered wildly.
Garrus took a step back as he saw Shepard begin to move wildly about the dance floor. He had never seen a human, scratch that, he had never seen ANYONE move their bodies like that. He heard the crowd go wild as she rolled her body and shook her hips rapidly. He couldn't help but feel aroused. He took a step forward and suddenly felt Tali rush past him. She stood a step behind Shepard's right and began to move in the same manner. He saw as the Asari group dropped their jaws and stared at each other.
Shepard stepped up to the Asari leader and pushed her chest forward stretching her arms out to her sides as she tilted her head slightly.
"Can you keep up?" With that the Asari stepped up and tried to imitate Shepard's movements. The other two Asari stepped in but failed. Shepard was staring at them with her arms at her hips and a smug look on her face. Tali stepped forward and waved them off taking a stand in the middle of the circle. Shepard walked up to her side and rested her weight on her left hip. Motioning the DJ she took of her shoes and handed them to Garrus along with her "Birthday Princess" and tiara.
"It's time to kick it old school." The music changed and Shepard began to move. Tali joined in and suddenly both women began to break dance to the 21st century hip hop blaring thru the club. The Asari women were shocked. They had never heard this music or seen anyone dance like that in the hundreds of years they had been alive. Tali dropped into a turtle freeze and worked her way into a windmill. Shepard gave her pace as she six stepped off into a coffee grinder. Simultaneously both women worked into a baby freeze and ended with a backspin and the final freeze. Shepard was glad the floor was polished and waxed or her back would be burning. Her hair was all over the place and she could feel sweat dripping down her face. The crowd went wild. Shepard and Tali were lying on the floor catching their breath as they noticed the Asari leader frown and motioned for her group to leave. As they stormed off Garrus helped Shepard to her feet.
101010101
Shepard was resting her legs on Garrus's lap as Tali sat next to her sipping on a drink. Their dance off had tired them worse than running around the collector base. Shepard could feel the drinks finally creeping up on her. She motioned the waiter for another drink. After a couple more drinks Shepard put her shoes on and pulled on Garrus's arm.
"What's going on on the floor? I wanna dance! I think I've had a little bit too much though." She laughed and dragged Garrus to the dance floor.
"Ah, Shepard. You know Turians can't dance." Garrus wined as Shepard began to move to the music. She placed her hands on his waist and slid her body down arching her back as she rolled her body back up.
"It's gonna be okay. Just dance." Shepard turned her back to him and pushed herself against him. She moved her hips against his and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I'll do the work. You just stand there."
Garrus couldn't help himself. He dragged his hands up and down Shepard's body. He placed his face in her neck and she moved her arms up to wrap them around his neck. Tali was at the bar chatting up the bartender. Garrus watched the other male patrons as they danced and tried to imitate their movements as best as he could. After a few songs Garrus felt Shepard starting to stumble in his arms. He knew the alcohol had finally taken full control of her. He pulled her out of the dance floor and into a stool by the bar. Tali walked towards them and Garrus noticed she was stumbling herself. Most of the Normandy crew that had been present was already gone.
"I think it's time to head back to the Normandy." Garrus was a little intoxicated himself but managed to help the two stumbling woman back to the docking bay. They entered the airlock and Shepard briefly passed out standing next to him as they waited for the decontamination sequence to finish. The airlock finally opened and Garrus helped the women inside. They made their way to the elevator and Garrus punched the button for the crew quarters. He leaned Shepard against the elevator wall as the door opened on the Crew Deck. Garrus grabbed Tali and helped her to the crew quarters. He helped her into her bed and with a barely audible 'Thank You' Tali passed out. He walked back towards the elevator and as the doors opened he saw Shepard had slid down and was now sitting on the floor her head resting against the wall. He punched in the button for Shepard's cabin and then helped her back up on her feet.
Garrus half dragged, half carried Shepard to her bed. She tossed herself on the bed and Garrus sat down next to her. He picked up her feet and removed her shoes and placed them carefully on the couch. He turned to look at her and she was staring back at him. Garrus reached over and moved some strands of hair out of her face. He could smell the alcohol on her.
"Thank you for making me celebrate Garrus." She slowly sat up and leaned her head onto Garrus's shoulder. "I'm so fucked up. I need to take a shower. I stink of alcohol and sweat." Shepard stood up and stumbled towards the stairs when Garrus caught up to her and wrapped his arm around her waist to help her up the stairs. They walked into the tiny restroom and Shepard leaned against the wall. "You know I might need some help in here." Shepard looked up at Garrus as she reached for the clasps of his shirt. Garrus stared down into her baby blues and ran his talons thru her hair.
"I think I can manage to help you." Shepard leaned in to kiss Garrus and pushed him against the shower. The shower suddenly turned on and a gush of water rushed them. Gasping from the coldness of the water Shepard wiped her face and looked up at Garrus.
"This was the best birthday ever."