Happy Holidays!
One mug of beer, one piece of mistletoe and one hyped up ninja
"What about this one!" Marlene pointed at the biggest tree she could spot.
"Marlene are you joking? That would not fit in." Barret said solemnly looking at the tree she had pointed out. It was Christmas Eve and unfortunately for Barret he had been chosen to buy the Christmas tree.
"Ok what about this one?" She pointed to a lower one, not much taller than her.
"Marlene that's too small." Barret said, getting already irritated. Christmas usually irritated him, he hated deciding on what presents to buy, he hated decorating the furniture, he also hated sending out pointless Christmas cards, but what was the thing he hated the most? Yes you guessed it! Buying the god forbid Christmas tree…
"I WISH TIFA WAS HERE!" Marlene sighed and folded her arms tightly.
"Yea' me an' you all'!" Barret said, looking around at random trees trying to spot which one was 'ok'. It all started over dinner the night before. Tifa had complained and complained about always buying the Christmas tree every year. To be honest, no one really cared they were all more interested in stuffing them self's up with dinner. So Tifa asked Barret whether or not he would be able to buy it this year. Unfortunately for Barret he had not been listing to her and simply mumbled 'yer' not even bothering to ask what the hell she was on about. And that was how poor little…or large Barret was at the Christmas tree store, accompanied by a very impatient assistant, Marlene.
"I still think we should get a fake on… Less pine to take care of and you don't have to pick the specific height." Barret pointed out, folding his arms, it wasn't because he liked fake Christmas trees, it was because he was too lazy in getting the right real Christmas tree.
"But Christmas isn't Christmas if we have a fake tree!" Marlene said looking up to him.
"Yer' whatever you say…" Barret said bluntly, already tired from looking at so many green trees. Marlene walked off searching for the right size tree, shortly followed by Barret, who was now learning how to sleep with his eyes open.
"DAD! WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE?!" She quickly piped up. Barret didn't even check it this time, he just told the shop assistant to wrap it up in special netting.
"But… Dad you haven't even looked at it yet…"
"This one will do. I have faith that you chose the right one." he said lazily, picking it up and already walking off to the car.
"Ok…" She said, feeling a tight tugging in her stomach.
"Hope In." Barret said opening the door to the car.
"Jingle bells, jingle bells Vincent smells…" Yuffie sung, dancing around the tables in the Seventh heaven. If you thought Yuffie was hyper on a normal day you should see her on Christmas…
"WOO! I'M SO EXICTED! AREN'T YOU?" Yuffie questioned rather loudly, looking at Denzel.
"Yeah!" He answered.
"I want my presents now now now!" She declared, skipping around the bar.
"Why the fuck would you fucking think that you got any fucking presents?" Cid answered sharply, sitting on a stool and sipping his beer.
Yuffie suddenly stood to a halt. "Don't take that TONE with me Cid!"
"I can have any fucking tone I want! Thank fuck!" He sourly said, returning to his drink.
"Dam bastard…" Yuffie whispered to herself, walking towards Cloud who was sitting on a stool drumming his fingers on the counter.
"Hey Cloudie Cloudie!" She said, patting him on the head.
"Hello annoying girl…" He said, now turning his head to face her.
"Gots' any clues where Tifa is?" She asked, now sitting on the stool next to him.
"Dunno' she went out somewhere…" He said. Yuffie breathed out slowly and rolled her eyes.
"Okie dokie!" She said cheerfully. "I wonder if there will be any mistletoe this year…" She said sneakily grinning.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he said now fully turning around.
"Oh you know EXACTELY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT." Yuffie said, still grinning.
"…Huh?" he said again, raising one eyebrow.
"YOU DUMB THICKO! Sheeeez… She's you're lobster DUUH!" Yuffie exclaimed, now standing up.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" He screeched raising his voice.
"I said she's you're lobster…" She repeated, now getting irritated.
"Yes. I know what you said but what did you mean by that?" He asked getting more irritated.
"Oh! Haha… You see when lobsters find their soul mates they stick together forever! And if you squint your eyes real close you can see them holding claws and…" She was shortly cut off by the door opening to reveal Tifa standing the door away carrying a couple of boxes and bags.
"Honey I'm home!" She said jokingly, shutting the door and waving one free hand towards the group.
"Hey honey, fancy lobster for dinner?" Yuffie whispered behind her breath but just loud enough for Cloud to hear. Yuffie giggled and ran towards her.
"Hey! Tifa! Whats' you gots' in there??" Yuffie questioned, leaning inwards to try and get a sneaky peek at to what was inside the bags.
"Just some decorations…" She simply said, making her way towards the stairs.
"BORING! I WANT PRESEANTS!" Yuffie screamed once again.
"Well I want you to shut the FUCK up. What do you fucking say to that?" Cid said again, drinking his third beer.
"Shut up you ARSE HOLE!" Yuffie screamed, stomping her feet on the ground.
"Enough already!" Rude shouted, rubbing his temples.
"OI BE QUIET BALDY LOCKS AND THE THREE HAIRS!" Yuffie screamed once more. Tifa rolled her eyes and peeled off her scarf and gloves.
"Shut up bowl head!" Reno suddenly said, standing up and defending his friend.
"AAAAARFG!!!!!!!!!!!! RENO! YOU STUPID SHIT HEAD STOP TRYING TO GETTING INVOVLED!" Yuffie boomed, making everyone in the room jump out of their skins. "SILLY TWAT!!" She screamed once more, pushing him over. Unfortunately for Reno he lost his balance and fell flat on his face.
"You…Bitch!" He screamed, getting up and combing his hair with his fingers.
"Bring it on red Rudolf!" She said, glaring at him. He breathed out slowly.
"As you wish." and with that he tipped his beer all down her. She automatically started screeching like a wild banshee, running around the pub covered in beer. Cloud, Cid and Denzel had to put their arms over their mouths to stop laughing, seeing this, Yuffie screamed once more and torpedoed up the stairs.
"Nice one Reno." Tifa said bluntly, following her friend up the stairs. With all women out of the room it was clear for all men to start booming with laughter.
"Nice fucking one!" Cid roared, slapping his knee practically choking up fits of laughter. "Her fucking face was unforgettable!" He said again.
"That will teach that bowl head not to mess with me." Reno said, sitting back down on his stool.
"That…Arse crack made me look like a total moron!" Yuffie whined, getting a towel from the rack and wiping her face. Yuffie had made her way up the stairs and legged it to the bathroom with Tifa in pursuit.
"Well if it's any constellation I thought that was totally out of hand." Tifa said solemnly. "One it's a waste of GOOD and EXPENSIVE beer and secondly he is such a coward!"
"You got that right! Next time I serve him anything I'm gonna' give him a smoogy!" She said nodding.
"What the hells a smoogy?" Tifa asked, looking a bit confused.
"Well, it's a mixture of beer, beer, and SPIT!" She declared grinning.
"Yuffie, that's disgusting…" Tifa said, feeling ill.
"Exactly." She agreed, Tifa paused,
"Yuf? Have you ever given anyone a smoogy before?" Tifa said, looking worried. Yuffie laughed evilly.
"Tifa, Tifa, Tifa, My dear Tifa, I have given smoogies to four people in the past."
"…May I ask who?" Tifa asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well. The first one was the best! It happened to be our dear Aeris. She pissed me off big time so I spat in her drink. Next was Cid, ahah that SUCKER!" She started to raise her voice. "NEXT WAS VINCENT AND LAST OF ALL WAS BARRET!"
"Yuffie! You rebel!" They both laughed, walking out of the bathroom and now going down the stairs.
"Hey we're off guys, have a merry Christmas and all that crap." Reno said opening the door.
"Bye Rude!" Yuffie said, waving at the top of the stairs.
"Good bye Yuffie the bowl beer master." Reno said, flashing an evil grin.
"Yeah! See you at new years where we can drink LOTS of beer for free…" She said, looking at Tifa and grinning. Reno was stumped then shook his head and walked out the door shortly followed by rude.
"Stupid dong…" Yuffie said, giggling behind her hand and walking over to his seat. "Dong face left his purse…" She said hooting with laughter. "WHAT GUYS HAVE PURSES?!" She screamed, laughing hysterically.
Tifa grabbed the 'so called purse' and walked out the door in pursue of Reno. As she opened the door Reno stood at the other side.
"I left my…" He looked down and saw Tifa holding his wallet.
"Eurm thanks!" He said swiftly snatching it out of her hands and putting it in his pocket.
"That's not mine…Its Rufus's…" He said.
"YEAH RIGHT YOU PRAT!" Yuffie screamed with laughter. Reno rolled his eyes looking up at the ceiling so no one could see his red face.
"Hey mistletoe!" He said joyfully, now looking at Tifa.
'Oh my god! I'm gonna' kill the person who put that up!' Tifa thought, laughing nervously. Yuffie meanwhile laughing harder and harder falling on the floor and kicking her legs.
"Pu…Pu…puCKER u…u…p TIFA!" Yuffie screamed uncontrollably, laughing so hard she had to reach the wooden stool for comfort.
'Shit fuck shit fuck!' Tifa thought taking a step behind her while Reno stepped a step in.
Yuffie screamed with even more laughter, then swiftly sneaking a peek at Cloud. He was not looking at all happy. This thought made her laugh even more.
Reno bent his head down, suddenly Tifa grabbed his arm and pushed him out the door.
"THAT'S NOT MISTLETOE IT'S ROSEMARY!" She said.
"Better luck next year!" She said joyfully and slammed the door on his face.
"Ewwww!!!" She said shuddering.
"Now that's what I call a rejection!" Denzel said.
"TOTALLY!" Yuffie agreed, finally calming down.
"That was the grossest thing ever…" Tifa smirked.
"I AGREE!" Yuffie agreed, making sick noises. "Who would wanna' kiss that geek?"
"A beaver probably." Denzel said, flashing a grin.
"HAHAHA! I WISH THAT BEAVER A LIFE TIME OF HAPPYNESS!" Yuffie declared.
"No fucking offence but I don't think Reno even stood a fucking chance." Cid said, making everyone shoot his way. "Tifa is pretty and Reno is FUCK ugly" He stated.
"Cid that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!" Tifa smiled, looking at Cid. He smiled and then suddenly did a manly coughed.
"And that's the fucking last thing." He blushed and returned to his drink.
"Cid does have a point." said a voice coming from the shadows.
"Vince, I always have a fucking point." Cid stated.
"Unfortunately…" Red said, shaking his head. Cid ignored this comment and lugged down his beer.
"What idiot put that up there?" Tifa said, glaring at all people in the room. She looked around, face like a slapped arse, examining them all.
Yuffie stepped up, shaking with nerves.
"I did…" She said quietly, biting her lower lip.
"AND WHY EXACTLEY?" Tifa put her hands on her hips.
"Cause'…" She looked over at Cloud. 'Now shall I a be a bad girl and say something that will make the environment awkward or be a good girl and get told off?' Yuffie thought.
"Cause' I wanted to…" She bit her lip hard. "Bring a little romance into Christmas?" She said, putting on the fakest smile she could.
"…Well next time INFORM ME FIRST!" Tifa roared, walking behind the bar and cleaning up a couple of glasses.
"Okay keep your hair on…"
"NO I WILL NOT KEEP MY HAIR ON. WHAT IF YOU WERE IN THAT KIND OF SITUATION?" Tifa would not drop the subject.
"Well… it would depend on who the other person would be." Yuffie said, sitting on her stool again.
"Ok. What would happen if it was…" Tifa paused and thought of any random name that would come to mind. "Cid?"
Cid was in the middle of drinking his beer, when that comment hit him like a baseball bat and started to choke.
"EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!! I GET YOUR DRIFT! THAT THING GETS BURNT!" She screamed, racing up to the door and ripping it off.
"See, not preety." Tifa said dryly.
"Indeed!" Yuffie replied, going to the bin and throwing the mistletoe away. Silence shortly followed… until Yuffie got another scheme.
"Hey Cloud can I borrow your phone for just one sec?" She said in the calmest voice she could. He turned around and raised an eyebrow.
"Why?"
"Erf… Can't you trust me or something?!"
"Actually I can't" he said sarcastically smiling.
"AWW COME ON YOU…" She stopped and then put on her calm look. "Lovely person…" She gritted through her teeth.
"…Here." He handed her his phone and turned back round.
'HAHAHAHA SUCKER!' She thought, resisting the urge to smile.
She made her way to the kitchen and shut the door behind her.
"Finally!" She whispered to her self, she sat next to the door and rested her head on the handle. She got her phone out and took the sim card out.
"Tee hee!!!" She giggled. Both hers and Clouds phone were the same make. The only difference was Yuffie's cell phone was orange with stickers stuck on it and Cloud's was plain black. Having the same phone had its advantages…
"Let's do a swap!" She got out Cloud's sim card and slotted it in her phone and slotted her sim car into Cloud's phone. She giggled to herself.
"I finally have that video of Cloud on that roller coaster!" She whispered to herself. "But that's not the only thing I can do…" She evilly laughed turning on Cloud's phone and deleted all her pictures and videos. She then turned on her phone and sent all the pictures, sounds and videos to her sim card so her sim card was identical to his.
"Crap the contacts!" She said, scrolling down her contacts in Cloud's phone. She looked at Clouds contacts and copied them all into her contacts. Finally the evil plan was set. Yuffie had swapped sim cards with Cloud's phone and copied everything into her sim card making both hers and Clouds phone identical but the only thing that wasn't changed was all of Cloud's stuff that was stored on his sim card which was safely inside Yuffie's phone.
"He will never know…" She yet again laughed evilly, while putting her phone in her pocket. She opened the door leading towards the seating area and saw Barret and little Marlene.
"Hey guys! I didn't hear you come in." She looked at them both and smiled, her eyes followed Barret going back outside.
"He's going to get the Christmas tree out the boot." Marlene Said. Yuffie nodded and made her way to Cloud, who was still sitting on a stool.
"Thanks!" Yuffie said grinning so hard she thought her teeth was break. She handed his phone back and sat on the stool next to him. He carefully narrowed his eyes and turned his phone on. Yuffie's heart skipped a beat. 'Crap! Please don't find out please don't find out!' She thought to herself. He shut his phone and put it back in his pocket. 'Bingo!' She thought again, sighing with relief. Her plan had succeeded and no one had a clue. 'Hahah! The mistletoe plan did not succeeded but the mobile plan defiantly will' Yuffie thought, mentally smiling…