Rated T for safety (drinking) possible SLASH. One-Shot
Disclaimer: Don't own them. Please don't sue. Don't take away my favorite past time. :)
Summary: Drake deals (or not) with Josh leaving for college and being alone in his room after the past few years.
A/N: This was not written as SLASH really but it seems to kind of imply it the more I read it. This inspired by the country song "Till I Can Make It On My Own". I listened to it on You Tube and it seemed so perfect. Hope you enjoy. It is a One-Shot as of now. I think it could possibly be more but not sure (What do you think?), so for now it is one. Also I try to correct the errors I see since I have no Beta, hope I got them all.
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Till I Can Make It On My Own
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Josh was making sure he had everything the day he left for college. He noticed the pajama top that Drake wore the night before was thrown near but not in the hamper. He walked over and picked it up and breathed in its scent, his scent. He smiled and put the shirt in his suitcase.
Drake wasn't home. He had to leave that day. He couldn't face him when he said goodbye. For the past few years he shared his room and his life with Josh and now Josh was leaving, leaving his room and his life empty.
He used a gig as the excuse to not be there so they all wouldn't suspect anything but instead his car was parked around the block and he sat in Robbie's tree house remembering.
He remembered everything about them building the tree house. He remembered Josh walking into his life and how he really wished he wasn't getting a brother. In the end, he would discover he in fact wasn't getting a brother; he was getting a best friend, which in fact is better than a brother.
Now though, his best friend is leaving and he has no idea how to cope. He always heard of empty nest syndrome that parents faced when their children were grown and gone and they were left at home and wondered why nobody preparedhim for this feeling. He wasn't a parent but it was his house that was empty, or at least his room.
Josh left and after a few days of being gone, late one night he got a text message from Drake "I'm sorry I didn't see you when you left. I'm sorry I haven't called yet. This is much harder than I thought".
Josh read the message and dialed the number. Drake didn't answer. It went to voice mail. Josh left a message that it was okay and it was hard on him too. He told Drake to call him when he could.
Josh's phone rang a few minutes later.
"Hey Drake" Josh said when he answered.
"Josh?" Drake said in an unsure voice even though he knew who it was since he was the one that called. It made Josh almost chuckle.
"How are you?" Josh asked.
"Is it different?" Drake asked.
Josh sighed, "Yeah it's different," he said.
"It's different here you know," Drake said in a shaky voice.
"I know," Josh said "I know it is. Hey Drake…" he started to say until Drake interrupted.
"I'm sorry Josh," Drake said and it brought the memory back to Josh of Drake apologizing to him in the chemistry lab. He knew that broken voice. That is a side of Drake that Drake didn't let show very often and only very few got to see, except the day in the lab.
"Sorry about what?" Josh asked.
"Sorry I lied to you when you left," Drake said sniffling, which caused the tears to finally fall from Josh's eyes too.
"Lied about what?" Josh asked clearly having no clue what was going on in Drake's mind "Are you drunk?" he asked.
Drake was silent.
"Drake? Hello are you still there?" Josh asked.
"Kind of" Drake said quietly.
"Kind of?" Josh asked "how can you be kind of there"?
"No I mean the other thing that you asked," Drake said.
"You are drunk?" Josh asked.
"Mm hmm" Drake answered.
"You don't drink Drake. We don't drink' Josh said.
"Then I'm sorry about that too," Drake said "I had to do something though. I don't know how to do this," he was obviously crying at this point.
"How to what? Drink? Because you seem to have done a pretty good job of it," Josh said.
"No. I just don't know," he said.
"Drake please stop talking in code. I mean if you are that drunk and cannot talk then I am going to hang up and talk to you later," Josh said.
"No! Please don't hang up. I'm sorry" he apologized again.
"Why do you keep apologizing?" Josh asked.
"Because I keep doing the wrong things," He said.
"What?" Josh asked.
"When you left, I lied. I wasn't at a gig. I was in Robbie's tree house," Drake confessed.
"Okay, seriously, you couldn't even say bye to me because you wanted to go play in the tree house. You couldn't have waited until after I was already gone" Josh said being hurt and offended.
"No I couldn't" Drake said. "I couldn't watch you leave. I couldn't say bye to you. I couldn't watch you walk out of the room. I hate it here Josh I hate it. It's not the same but it is the same and I hate it. It's different for you. You don't have memories of me. You don't have me there, all I have here is you," Drake said.
Josh smiled somewhat because Drake didn't know about the shirt Josh stole from the floor just so he could have a part of him with him.
"Do you hate me?" Drake asked.
"No. Drake, I'm sorry, okay. I didn't realize how hard it would be to be there alone. I'm sorry," He told Drake as he wiped more tears.
"See, I had to drink. I had to take it away," Drake said.
"That's not how you do this though. You can't do that to yourself," Josh said.
"I know it's not right. I'm sorry. I'll try to find something else," He told him.
Josh sighed relief "okay," he said.
"Hey Josh?" Drake asked.
"Yeah," Josh answered.
Drake sighed into the phone. He kept trying to say something and stopped himself.
"Drake what is it? You know you can tell me anything. I'm here for you," Josh told him.
"You are?" Drake asked.
"Yes man you know that. I will always be here for you. I always have been haven't I?" He said.
"Cept the last couple days, yes" Drake said.
"So tell me," Josh said.
"Um, can I call you?" Drake asked.
"Drake, you just did," Josh said.
"I mean can I? Can I call you?" Drake asked again.
"Anytime," Josh answered "Anytime" he semi whispered.
"I'll call you every night. I don't know how to live without you here so I'll call you every night until I figure out how to do that, okay? Until I can make it on my own, right?" Drake said.
"Call me every day, and every night and whenever you want to. I'll be here. I'll help you," He told him. His heart broke that he didn't see this coming. His heart broke because he got to have the change of scenery to make everything easier for him. How could he be so blind, he thought.
Josh was never selfish, especially when it came to Drake, but somehow he felt selfish and like he abandoned him.
"Josh?" Drake asked.
"Yeah?" Josh said.
"I'm sorry I am not as strong as you," He said "I'm sorry you have to be here for me even when you aren't here. I'll try harder okay".
"Drake, come one. Stop it please. You are strong. This is my fault. I let you become dependant on me and I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have done everything for you the way I did. You are strong. I was just so happy to be brothers and have you as a best friend," Josh said.
"I like you doing things like that though. I never had anybody to really do anything for me before. Don't blame yourself. Besides most of the stuff I talked you into doing anyway," he said in a smile.
Josh smiled.
"I miss you," Drake said.
"I miss you too," Josh told him. And he did. Just because he had new surroundings didn't mean he wasn't homesick. Where everything was familiar, where everything was home.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow right?" Drake said.
"Yeah, if you need me I'm here" Josh said.
"Okay, thank you" Drake told him.
"You're welcome,," Josh said.
"Josh, I love you," Drake said.
"I love you too," Josh started to say but realized Drake hung up on him.
Josh looked at the shirt he took that was in a chair beside the bed and at home Drake was looking at one he stole from Josh that he put in Josh's bed.
--END--