A/N:

Well, My PC died on me on Christmas Day of all days and I had several one-shots planned for some good friends on here. So, they're going to be a little sloppy, but I hope they make sense and that they do come across as a tad bit funny.

Anyway, this one goes to IceyPassion. Epic chick, I tell you, go read her stuff! She's the one who pioneered in NigaitoxHaku and I'm in love with those two. *u*

Oh, and be wary of Piko's, Pikan's, and Lily's language. That and if you're a guy, some girl things will be touched on and it's the uncomfortable kind. I blame these conversations on the ones that I have with my friends (that are girls of course).

Face blue and ears ringing from the voice and the booming music coming from inside the building, my hand had just barely scraped the door a second time when Miku had somehow launched her whole body and knocked the wind out of me.

"Pikan!" she squealed in girlish delight. "I'm so glad you could make it! I was beginning to think that you weren't going to come at all! You know, since you've missed out on the last twenty-seven sleepovers and stuff, but hey, who's counting?" The tealette chirped before clapping her hands together.

The way she was looking at me, I'm pretty sure that she was waiting for me to give her my input. But I thought that it would be a lot safer if I didn't, so she took it as her cue to continue.

"Oh my glob, you have, like, no idea just how excited I am that you're here this time! We're going to have a whole lot of fun, I promise, you'll see. We're gonna do our nails, have some of that cake that Lily made," she leaned in close to whisper in my ear,"though I wouldn't recommend it. I still have to go every Thursday to work on my English VB, so I'm pretty sure that I need to still be alive by then." She pulled away and winked at me with a faint smile, probably laughing on the inside about her own joke. "Pffft, if we stay out here much longer, I'll chat my voice away! Come in, come in!"

"E-err, y-yeah, thanks Miku." Oh dear Kami. . . I had to force the corners of my mouth to give way so that I could give Miku a smile, but she grabbed my wrist and hauled me inside of the building before I could do a thing. My heart was going a hundred miles an hour, I was breathing at a rapid pace, my palms were sweaty. . .

This is so wrong, so very, very wrong on so many levels. . .

xXx

"G-get off of me, dammit!"

"Just one night, I promise!"

"Like hell I'd ever do that!"

"Oh come on! Quit being such a girl!"

"You've got some nerve saying it like tha - "

"Stop whining like a woman and put the damn thing on!"

Oliver, Len, Lui and Ryuuto were watching with mild amusement on the sidelines. I, unfortunately, had been an unsuspecting prey when I walked into the kitchen, hoping to find somebody to ask for some scotch tape to fix a problem that I had and that needed my immediate attention. Unfortunately, Pikan had taken the time to walk to my home, sneak through the back door, and wait until I was probably within arm's length. With a loud war cry, she jumped out of her hiding area, tackle glomped me to the floor, and forced me into submission.

So, there we were, on the cold kitchen floor tiles, with Oliver munching away on a chocolate chunk cookie, Lui sucking a strawberry and banana shake that he was sharing with Len (they each had a straw of their own), and with Ryuuto chewing on a granny smith apple. Yep, shows were so much better with a snack, weren't they? I so fucking hope that they were enjoying themselves.

Thanks to the position that we were in, I tried to shove her off of me, but she proved to be a challenge as she latched onto body and dug those ridiculously long nails into my clothes. They were even long enough to stab my skin. That's how freaking long her nails are. Damn me for wincing because I fell back to the ground.

As much as it ached every fiber in my body and killed whatever pride I had left after all of the torture I have to endure at the hands of Miki, Lily and Iroha, I caved in. "FINE! I'll wear the fucking skirt! Now get your fat ass off of me, bitch."

"Uh, no I'm not. Last time I checked, bitches referred to dogs, which is what you're into."

"CATS! There is a distinct difference between the two! And I hate dogs! You like them so that means that you're the bitch!"

"Correction, you're the bitch, my bitch to be exact, all right? So stop talking and let me take your pants off."

That was all it took to send the boys choking on their beverages because they were laughing so hard.

"Len, Len!" Lui cried, elbowing the fair-haired youth. "Please tell me you got all that?"

"Like I'd miss something like this!" He responded, his eyes gleaming with mirth, phone positioned in his free hand that was recording the whole thing.

I swear, I think my eye twitched while I drummed my fingers on the floor to distract myself. "Very funny you guys. Sure, you can just stand there, eat my food and not give two shits that my sister is being a jerk again."

Lui sent me an eye roll and flipped his hair out of his face. "Oh, don't be like that, Pi-chan~," he cooed. "We're just having some fun. Anyway, that is the reason why we stopped by. We were bored and we wanted some entertainment and you, my dear, are the star of this show. Please, don't stop on our account!"

If only Pikan would loosen up her grip for two seconds, maybe then I would have been able to get off and strangle that effeminate boy for his overly exaggerated form of speech and for that annoying heterosexual hair flipping that he does. I'm absolutely positive that he only did that to annoy the heck out of me. But Pikan wasn't a mind reader like our other cousin, G Biki.

Pikan beamed. She nuzzled her face into my back while crying out,"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Thanks to that, she was distracted long enough so that I could shove her off and pick myself off the ground. Gosh, she was so annoying. . . For a moment there, I actually felt a little pity for Luki. The mess he had gotten himself into. . .Oh well, his funeral, not mine. Before I could straighten out my shirt, Pikan dug her nails into my wrist and whisked me away to the restroom. The boys, not wanting to waste precious time, quickly followed suit and did the best they could to cram themselves into the small restroom.

Next thing I knew it, she threw me into the chair that mysteriously had strappings all over it and tied me in. Okay, don't panic, panicking is very bad. Especially since Pikan's nose is pretty sensitive, she could probably smell it off me soon. "Okay. . .remind me again why you're doing this to me."

Pikan took out a curling iron, gel, hairpins, pink hair dye, eye liner, eye shadow and some more pieces of makeup that I couldn't recognize, clip on earrings. . .

I gulped. Pikan was gonna go the whole nine yards for just one, flippin' night. FML.

She rolled her eyes before flipping her hair out of her eyes. "Because, he's still all depressed and all that good crap from his breakup with Miki last week."

"I thought it was Miki who called it off? You and I were the-"

"So, I figured I'd help him get back on his feet by taking him out to eat at his favorite Thai restaurant. And then maybe later we can go and rent movies, head on back home and get all cozy so that we can do -"

"Finish that sentence and you can forget about going at all."

"Yeah, well, I just remembered, like, thirty minutes ago that Miku invited me to her weekly slumber party last week and that I had my date with Luki arranged on the same night at the same time."

"Oh shut up! You've never been to a single one of Miku's parties. And how the hell could you forget when she invites you every week?"

Before she could undoubtfully shoot a snarky comeback to me, the famed harridan reared his ugly head in.

"Oh, oh, oh! Can I help you with him, Pikan?"

Please don't let him, oh please don't let him help you, Pikan. Please give me a reason to actually like you! Please don't let him, please don't let hi -

"Of course you can! The more the merrier, I always say~ . . .Except when it comes to dates. Never, ever double date, Lui. Trust me."

Oh yeah. Lui will one day die a slow, horrible, painful death with the use of maple syrup, toothpicks, and a whole lot of duct tape. By my hands. And Pikan will be strapped to a chair, eyelids pulled back so she would never blink, forced to watch a half nude Kaito with his scarf stuffed into Miku's panties - that he's wearing might he add - with Gakupo by his side wearing a miniscule blue bikini top and unbuttoned short shorts. Crack, pure and simple, with Miku and Miki singing Love is War in the background. Two octaves higher. Blood will be spilled.

"Yay! Thank you very much, Pikan! I wish I had a genderbend like you, but Luise is such a bore. I mean, she doesn't do anything but just sit at home, having a 'conversation' with her bedroom wall - "

I tuned them out. I seriously didn't give a flip about what Lui's "sister" did or didn't do. I just wanted this to be over, to get back to his life, and finish that plan that involved peroxide and Lui's hair dye. Or maybe he should put it into his shampoo. . . What a surprise he'll get once he starts to preen himself in front of the mist covered mirror. But the prick deserves so much more. . .

"P. . . oll . . ft . . .ress. P. . .ko. . .ple. . .Piko, pl. . .be a do. . . lif. . . y. . .r. . .d. . .ess. . . PIKO!"

I guess I was to busy with my internal rant that I didn't notice that Lui was talking to me. The young boy's cheeks were flushed pink, hands crossed over his chest, hip jutted out from the left, accented with a heavy pout. Oh dear Kami. . .

"What do you want?"'

He stomped his foot. "You weren't listening to a damned thing I was saying, weren't you?"

Surprise, surprise. "Was it that obvious?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Piko, will there ever a day where you can just cooperate with me? I mean, my glob, is it really that difficult of you to just please lift up your dress?"

. . .I think a vein popped on my temple. "For the last time, Lui, it is not a dress, it's an over sized windbrea -"

"Yeah, yeah, you keep telling yourself that. That is definitely an over sized shirt and not something that remarkably looks similar to Miki's tube dress." he unnecessarily stressed the last word.

Five seconds, just five seconds is all I'm asking for. It'll take me just one second to jump out of this chair and four seconds to enjoy the look on his face when he's struggling for some air. But nooooo, Pikan just had to tighten the restraints on the chair and tilt my head back into the sink. She turned the tap on and grabbed four different kinds of shampoos to do whatever the hell she wanted. I was at her mercy.

I tightly shut my eyes to keep myself from looking into the mirror, because I was deathly afraid of what I was going to see. After having my hair tugged, the air sucked out of me, my face dried and powdered, lips puckered and slopped on, Pikan finally gave me the A-OK.

And what I saw made me want to cry.

"Don't be such a baby! You'll run your mascara!"

"I look like a clown, Pikan! What the hell did you do to me? !"

The ends of her lips curled up. "Well, I washed your hair and I had to use some hair spray and the blow dryer to give your hair some extra volume since it's soooo flat and then I dyed the tips pink. I also had to some trouble finding the right shade of foundation for your skin tone since you're paler than me and I also had to lengthen your eyelashes with mascara -"

"Don't forget his brows~"

"You're right! Holy Mother of Santa Maria, you're eyebrows were just horrible. I wasted an hour of my time just plucking out those furry caterpillars."

Breathe in, breathe out. Slowly. Okay, Pikan can join Lui later, but right now, just ignore them, ignore them both. . .

"-least you have nice legs. Almost identical to mine. And I highly doubt that any one of them is bright enough to tell the difference. Well, I gotta run, Mikio must be waiting for me at the mall. Now remember, be nice, don't piss Miku off, enjoy some free yuri from Rin and Gumi, and don't, and I repeat, don't let any of them sit on your lap."

"Like hell I'd let one of them near me!" Seriously, I had no intention of being in the same room as any of them. I might as well spend my night in the Crypton waiting room. Or the studio. It is soundproof. And why the hell did I want to see yuri of all things?

I didn't have time to say anything else to her because Lui reached over and grabbed my waist and flung me over his shoulder. How that boy managed to get the strength to do that is beyond me, but he went on as if though I was as light as a feather. Of course, I kicked, swore and complained the whole time we were in the elevator and I had yet lost my voice when we had reached the door. Lui threw me down to the ground and shot me a heated glare.

"Don't you dare screw this up," he said in a low, threatening voice,"or my face will be the last thing you'll ever see. This date is important to Pikan and I don't think for one moment that I wouldn't do anything drastic. You may not love your sister, but I do, so you better be on your best behavior or Kami help you-"

"Yeah, I get it. Suck up to the Diva and Pikan's good for another week, I get that. Now get your skinny ass out of my house."

He huffed and crossed his arms across his plucky bow. Very masculine, by the way.

"Fine, I will. But you have to promise me this."

This night couldn't get any worse, so I took the bait. "That depends. . ."

These were one of those rare moments in my life when Lui actually shows some form of insecurity as he nervously tugged on a piece of hair that was at the nape of his neck. Whatever he wanted to me to promise him sounded important since it scared him. He even had to take a deep breath to steady himself as his glare bore into my eyes.

I almost flinched. Almost.

"Do not speak to Iroha-chan. Got it?"

Blinking is bad, even if you're confused. All of those muscles that become strained can give you premature crows feet if you overwork them. Regardless, I did it anyway because I was confused. Very, very confused. And curious.

"Uh, why?"

"Because I said so!" he screeched, his shoulders tensed and his face flushed. "Now get out or you'll be late!"

He really didn't give me much of a choice as he used the silver heel of his fancy, luminescent boots to kick me out of my own home. Surprisingly enough, I wasn't as pissed off as I had originally believed that I would if he had done that. Instead, a smile found its way on my face while I clopped down the side walk in a pair of hideous three inch heels.

Apparently, Lui isn't as subtle with his weaknesses after all.

XxX

And so here I was, in the middle of the room, wedged in between Ring and CUL who were idly talking about the latest things that's been going on with that Western prick Justin Beiber, while I had to withold the urge to drown them both with the sake that Meiko gave me.

I shivered. The pink skirt was ridiculously short. My legs felt so exposed and I had to borrow a blanket from Yuzuki to keep my warm.

"I-Is something the matter, P-Pikan?"

I didn't respond right away, so I felt a tap on my shoulder. Oh that's right, I'm Pikan for tonight. Of course I have to get used to that, you gullible sonofa-

"P-Pikan?"

Right, she's trying to talk to me. "Yeah? What's up, SeeU?"

She lightly nibbled on her lower lip. Kind of a cute habit, the way she's dressed up in her PJs. A pumpkin orange tank top with black trim, a pair of fleece short-shorts with little pumpkins and black cat ears on top, and her wavy platinum blonde hair was pulled up with black ribbon. The way it was tied made it look like she still hadn't ditched her headpiece.

"I-I just wanted to ask that i-if you're o-okay. . ."

Just smile and shrug, Piko. Just smile and shrug. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit tired, that's all."

"O-oh."

The answer seemed satisying enough and we sat there in comfortable silence. Well, as comfortable as it can get when a certain wannabe Platinum Kittyler comes up and wraps you close with the other kitty character that is.

"Hey Pikan! Hi SeeU! Wow, do you have any idea just how weird and almost redundant that is? Hi, SeeU! Hey, see you! Hi -"

"She gets it," I snapped.

Iroha's lower lip jutted out in annoyance. Ugh, girls and their pouts.

"You're so crabby, Pi-chan. You and your brother really need to hang out with Iro and me one day so that we can teach you two how to have fun!"

"Uh yeah, no thanks. I think I'd much rather eat glass and stab needles under my fingernails."

SeeU winced at the mental image that I painted in her innocent mind while Iroha rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, you and your creepy threats. But don't think that for one second I've given up on converting you into one of us!"

If there ever was a person who could twist me and get me to bend down on my knees, besides Pikan, Lily and Miki of course, it had to be that shrimp. The girl that Lui is obviously fond of. Well, speaking of which, I ought to repay him.

"Say, how're you and Lui doing Iroha?"

The pout that she had previously plastered on her face vanished and her cheeks turned a soft pink. She narrowed her amber eyes at me suspiciously. "What do you mean by that?"

I shrugged. "Oh, it's just that I notice that you two sneak out a lot during rehearsals. That, and the fact that you two share your snacks pretty often. And don't let me forget all of the times you two laugh at each others jokes, whisper in each other's ears and the way he likes to wrap your hair around his fingers."

Damn, how could I have realized all of this just now? It was so blatantly obvious! SeeU must have had the same idea because her signature cattish grin came up and giggled. Iroha, of course, wasn't amused.

"So what if we like to do that? Can't a girl be friends with a guy and not hold any romantic feelings about him?"

"Yeah, quote your best friend on that."

"Shut up! You know that you and Piko are cousins with her, so it doesn't make sense at all." she retorted.

SeeU and I exchanged looks.

"Oh, we believe you, Iroha-chan. So I guess mutual friends give each other kisses, too, right? Or is that some kind of Japanese cultural thing that I'm not familiar with?"

Woah! Okay, rewind and play!

The look on the Kittyler's face was priceles. "Wh-what are you talking about? Wh-what kiss? Y-you're making that up!"

"Okay, so when we met up last week, Lui didn't pull you away from everybody to take you into the next room and cup his hands around your mouth to 'secretly' kiss you? Or did he have to whisper something to you and that's a new method of secrecy?"

Oh, gossip. Now I'm starting to understand why sissy and Mi-chan like it so much. Juicy.

"Lies! Lies, lies, lies! We did nothing, nothing at all! You've been wearing your nekomimi speakers too tight!"

"What ever happened to Ryuto?" I couldn't help but join in on the fun.

I never got an answer because she got up and stomped away from us. SeeU and I turned to look at each other and grinned. I think I came to have a new friend. Well, Pikan that is. I'll be sure to ask for her number before this is over. Just as we were getting comfortable talking about random tidbits(she likes pumpkin pie and cream puffs, wears an XXS, has a secret glasses fetish, and she owns an American Shorthair and a Persian), Miku came up to us in the same manner Iroha did.

"Hey chicas! How's the party, you two having a good time?"

"It's all right, I guess." I have to admit, it really wasn't that bad once I got past the fact that I'm the only boy in the room and that if any of them found out, I would more than likely be mauled, eradicated, and SeeU would never speak to me ever again.

"You see? I told you should have been here before!"

Before I could say a thing, Lily came over and lightly nudged Miku's hip with her shoe. "Yo, Gumi and Rin invaded your room and are having a serious one-on-one session in there."

"Are you serious? Why couldn't Rin just drag over to her place?"

"I don't know! Something about how yours was closer or something."

Girls are crazy. That's something I was beginning to realize. While I was deep in thought, I almost couldn't tell that my face was covered in the plush carpet.

A high, slightly raspy and childish voice was ringing in my ears."Pi~kan!"

Miki. My annoying older cousin Miki.

"Get off of me!" Deja vu?

She giggled and helped me up. "Hai nai! So glad to see you!"

SeeU's ears actually twitched. "Hm? Yes?"

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean you. . .," Miki's face glowed a light pink in embarrassment from her mistake. "Well, anyways, did Lily tell you what happened to her today when she and I went shopping?"

"PC shopping. Miki wouldn't let me take her to Forever21 and Papaya because she thinks I can't pick any good shit for her."

"I-it's not that, Lily. . ."

"Alright, so what happened?" Since those two were as close as conjoined twins, I was gonna hear it one way or another because they went everywhere together. This was going to be something I had to tell Pikan when I get home since they're definitely going to talk about it again.

"Yeah, well, anyways. At the Apple store in the mall was holding one of these nerd competions with a smart computer and a chess board. So, Miki and I made a bet that if I could beat it, I'd take her shopping and get her to wear whatever shit I buy her."

"And if I won, Lily would have to give up swearing for three days and let me teach her how to cook."

"So ya'll can understand the issue of that, 'cause I ain't gonna let her get the better of me. So, I walked up to the manager and convinced him to let me play against it."

"And we all know how convincing Lily is with men," Miki said with a wry smile.

Lily beamed from the "compliment". "Yeah, so, the computer, Davis was its name, and I went on for like, almost -"

"Five minutes."

Lily shot a glare at Miki who looked up at the ceiling like it had the world's answers on it or something. "So like I was saying before I was rudely interrupted. . . Yeah, too short for anything, the motherfu-"

"Fudger!" the smaller girl squeaked.

Now the glare had blood tipped daggers. "A computer can beat me at chess, but it sure as hell can't beat me at kickboxing. Internet should be getting a bill from them some time soon. Just sayin'."

Ay Lily, how we love thee. Miku's a little lacking in the brains, so she somehow found it to be hilarious and was laughing her ass off. We kind of stared at her for a moment and then, this made me wish I had my blackberry with me, she snorted. The Diva, Otakus Idol, our motivation to get ahead of her, snorted. Miss Piggy!

We all joined in and, now I know why Lily hates to laugh, the two of them had something like a snorting contest. Why in the world would Pikan want to miss out on any of this? It wasn't that bad at all! Once you look past the fact that CUL had just shoved Ring into the chocolate fountain and were now wrestling in the mess (look away, just look away), while Yuzuki was waving fans around like an rabid fangirl with her new little sister, Yuki, and little Aoki was timidly trying to mop the mess up. The whole shin-ding was silly. I think the flashing lights and the loud music had something to do with their confusion.

And then it happened.

Miku's laughter had weakened and she winced.

That didn't go unnoticed by my cousin."What's wrong, Miku?"

"Oh, it's just cramps," she said with a faint smile and I feel my blood run cold.

"Ugh, I hate that!" Lily cried. "Hurts your legs, your back, your stomach and your va-"

"Lily!" hissed the innocent redhead.

". . . And that area, too."

DEAR KAMI, HELP ME!

"Oh yeah, ditto on that!" Gumi had suddenly popped up out of nowhere with Rin at her side, hands intwined. "You know, I heard that period cramps are like really weak contractions. I so never want to have a kid!"

What the - I don't need to know any of this!

"The period itself is way more annoying, especially at night when you can't use tampons," Yuzuki walked in and added her two cents. "You sleep wrong and it's like a murder scene on your bed in the morning."

KAMI, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?

"What are you talking about, tampons are awesome!" Lily cackled.

Yuzuki and Miki raised knowing brows and grinned mischievously at each other. "Of course they would. Bet they definitely slip right in because of all of the after school 'activities' you and Kiyoteru get involved in."

DID YOUR INNOCENT MIND DECIDE TO CLOCK IN FOR LUNCH? WHY CAN'T MY LEGS MOVE? ! BAD IMAGES, BAD IMAGES!

SeeU blushed. "You guys are lucky. At least you have another person to ask for some advice. I was shocked that we could do that since we're, you know. . ."

"Those perverted Masters. They went too far on trying to make us realistic. I mean, yeah, looks are fine and so are our voices, but those kind of. . . functions, I mean, really? Are they really necessary?" Miku whined.

My hands were shaking so badly that I nearly slapped SeeU when she touched me. "What about you, Pikan? Do the female Fanloids and Pitchloids have that problem, too?"

All eyes were on me, expecting an answer that I could would never supply. Where the hell was Haku and Neru? Oh yeah, probably stuck in a closet somewhere, too. My voice easily went up two octaves. "B-bathroom!"

Nobody stopped me as I ran out of that room and down three flights of stairs, tripping on my heels before kicking them off and seeing them make a dent in Kaito's prized white 2001 Toyota Celica. That didn't stop me as I kept running and running and running off. I didn't get far when Miki "magically" teleported in front of me.

"What's the matter Pi-chan? You past the restroom two floors ago. Or did you want to use a tree? Why's your face all red? Why did you kick your shoes at Kaito's car? And why did you slam Miku's picture down to the floor?"

So many questions and no answers to any of them. My tongue refused to move and she smiled sympathetically at me. "You know, if you weren't comfortable about that topic, you could have just said so and we could have talked about something else. It is a little embarrasing, but we're all just girls. It's perfectly safe to talk to us."

Pffft, yeah, I totally have women accessories.

I never got to actually say that because she hugged me tight and teleported me back inside. Everyone had the same look on their faces and I got to hear the whole apology speech all over again. It took a while for the stuffiness to go away. I was just getting ready to sneak my way out again when I heard SeeU's voice.

"H-hey, um, Pikan?"

I bit back a exasperated sigh and turned around. "Yeah?"

"Could you help me clip my bra? I can't reach it. I think it broke. . ."

. . . Maybe being the only boy at an all-girls sleepover isn't such a bad thing after all.

A/N:

Luise is a name that I think that Lui's genderbend could have. Lui's personality just came to me since he has girlish manners and he looks very effeminate, I kind of figured he'd have a flamboyant kind of personality with a haughty nature to boot. That, and my head cannon is that he isn't Len's "shota" rival or anything but more like Piko's. It isn't like he doesn't like him personally, he's just jealous that Piko looks "prettier" than him. And if I still like Piko's voice after listening to Lui's (which still isn't decided yet), he'll probably try to outdo him vocal-wise as well. Or maybe he just wants to be his friend but doesn't know a different method on approaching him. Iono, but I think I'm going to use this kind of personality on him the most. I think, maybe, I've inadvertently made him ambiguously gay in my mind, now. . .

Oh, when it comes to nicknames, Piko is also called Pi-chan but it's pronounced differently from Pikan's. His is "pee-chan" whereas Pikan's is "pie-chan", like the math symbol. I think I should have said this in the first Author's Notes. .A.

To understand Piko's threat to Pikan's sanity:

h t t p : / / f a v . m e / d 3 3 e o 9 0

Take out the spaces. That is all.