Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Fred Weasley George Weasle, Blaise Zabini, Professor McGonagall, or Professor Dumbledore. I don't own Hogwarts. I own a slinky.

Characters:
Ron: ChudleyCannonsRock
Hermione: Noxisacoolword
Harry: TheInvisibleMan
Ginny: MadSkillz
Draco: SneakySnake / iamthebomb / shutupgrangerimawesome / DragonFyre
Fred: Georgeisagirl
George: FredEatsDirt
Blaise: DragonFire / PhoenixFlame
McGonagall: FierceFeline
Dumbledore: ObsoleteDingbat

The Short Life-Span of Hogwarts Instant Messaging (HIM)

Noxisacoolword has signed in.
TheInvisibleMan has signed in.
MadSkillz has signed in.

Noxisacoolword: MadSkillz?
MadSkillz: oh yes…
MadSkillz: Do you even watch me during the Quidditch games?
Noxisacoolword: Sort of.
TheInvisibleMan: I watch the Snitch, like I'm supposed to.
TheInvisibleMan: And Hermione watches me.
Noxisacoolword: Harry! I do not watch you!

SneakySnake has signed in.

MadSkillz: Yeah, she watches Malfoy!
SneakySnake: What about me?
Noxisacoolword: I do not!
Noxisacoolword: Malfoy…what the heck?
SneakSnake: What the heck "what the heck"?
MadSkillz: *smacks forehead*
Noxisacoolword: Do you know what "sneaky snake" is a reference to?
SneakySnake: Me being sneaking and cunning
SneakySnake: And in Slytherin
TheInvisibleMan: It's a muggle song.
SneakySnake: WHAT! You're lying Potter!
Noxisacoolword: Fraid not.
Noxisacoolword: Google it.
SneakySnake: No way.

SneakySnake has signed off.
MadSkillz has signed off.
Georgeisagirl has signed in.

TheInvisibleMan: George?
Georgeisagirl: Nope…Fred.
TheInvisibleMan: Oh good, I was almost about to worry there.

iamthebomb has signed in.
ChudleyCannonsRock has signed in.

iamthebomb: Weasley: can't you even try to be original?
ChudleyCannonsRock: what?
Georgeisagirl: Your screenname, you dolt. It's lame.
ChudleyCannonsRock: You're agreeing with him? But that's obviously Malfoy!
iamthebomb: Brilliant deduction dunderhead.
Noxisacoolword: hey Holmes…that's still a muggle-referencing screenname.
iamthebomb: it is not!
Georgeisagirl: No, it's true. The girl I was out with last night must've said it half a million times.
iamthebomb: what is this?! Blaise already stole the name I wanted.
TheInvisibleMan: haha…
Noxisacoolword: Draco = *pouting*
Noxisacoolword: like a little muggle girl
iamthebomb: Malfoys don't pout!
Georgeisagirl: Yes they do!

FredEatsDirt has signed in.

Georgeisagirl: Right George?
FredEatsDirt: Right what? I'm not a girl.
Noxisacoolword: but Malfoy is.
FredEatsDirt: Right.
TheInvisibleMan: (vote) Right.
Georgeisagirl: Right.
ChudleyCannonsRock: Right.
Noxisacoolword: Right.
Noxisacoolword: haha, Malfoy's a little pouting girly wimpy muggle-loving ferret!
iamthebomb: Hey!

iamthebomb has signed off.

FredEatsDirt: So Harry, what's with the screenname?
Georgeisagirl: Invisible, you are not.
TheInvisibleMan: Cloak, boys, cloak. Also, I wouldn't mind being invisible.
Noxisacoolword: The Invisible Man is a muggle reference to a television show by the same name.
FredEatsDirt: Dad loves televisions!
Georgeisagirl: I've only just got the hang of them.
FredEatsDirt: All those buttons…and the people don't even talk to you.
Georgeisagirl: I get more excitement out of a portrait.
Noxisacoolword: ANYways…The Invisible Man was a guy who was invisible, so he wrapped his head up in bandages and wore a trenchcoat.
ChudleyCannonsRock: Trenchcoats are cool.
Georgeisagirl: Agreed.
Noxisacoolword: Are you even going to bother paying attention?
TheInvisibleMan: When he wanted to be invisible, he would take off all his clothes and no one could see him.
FredEatsDirt: You go around naked?

shutupgrangerimawesome has signed in.

TheInvisibleMan: I do NOT go around naked!
shutupgrangerimawesome: I, for one, am relieved.
shutupgrangerimawesome: I'd rather see a basilisk's eyes than you without pants.
Noxisacoolword: but you wouldn't mind seeing him without a shirt?
Georgeisagirl: ooh!
FredEatsDirt: ooh!
shutupgrangerimawesome: that's not what I meant…besides, it's not like I haven't already
ChudleyCannonsRock: did NOT want to know that
shutupgrangerimawesome: shut up Weasley.
Noxisacoolword: You saw Harry without a shirt?
shutupgrangerimawesome: jealous Granger?
Noxisacoolword: Hardly.
Georgeisagirl: Awww…
Noxisacoolword: Shut it Fred.
FredEatsDirt: Yeah Fred.
FredEatsDirt: So tell us, Malfoy, when did you see Harry without a shirt?
shutupgrangerimawesome: Quidditch change room
shutupgrangerimawesome: when they switched it from separate team rooms to separate boy/girl rooms
FredEatsDirt: they separated the boys and girls?
Georgeisagirl: I liked it co-ed.
Noxisacoolword: Fred!
Georgeisagirl: what?

MadSkillz has signed in.

MadSkillz: Malfoy, what's with the new name?
Georgeisagirl: He's proclaiming his secret love to Hermione.
ChudleyCannonsRock: Ewww
FredEatsDirt: except it's not a secret
Georgeisagirl: He just thinks it is
MadSkillz: nice
shutupgrangerimawesome: I do not!
MadSkillz: that's not what I see…

shutupgrangerimawesome has signed off.

MadSkillz: what a lame-o

DragonFire has signed on.
DragonFyre has signed on.

DragonFire: Draco, you're so lame.
Noxisacoolword: That's what Ginny said.
TheInvisibleMan: haha
DragonFyre: I think it's cool.
DragonFyre: And I'm not allowed to change it again.
DragonFire: You're allowed to change it three times!
Noxisacoolword: He already did! :P
FredEatsDirt: haha
Georgeisagirl: You're like little girls who want to feel special
FredEatsDirt: and buy all the same stuff so they match
DragonFire: Draco, you dirtbag! Now I have to change.
DragonFyre: Good, I wanted this name anyway.

DragonFire has signed out.

ChudleyCannonsRock: spelling fire with a "y" is lame.
DragonFyre: shut up
DragonFyre: only morons support the Chudley Cannons
FredEatsDirt: "moron" is a good way to describe Ron
Georgeisagirl: Yes.
ChudleyCannonsRock: oh shut up you gits
FredEatsDirt: no, Percy's the git…

PhoenixFlame has signed in.

DragonFyre: PhoenixFlame?! Phoenix?!
PhoenixFlame: They're cool.
DragonFyre: Not as cool as dragons.
PhoenixFlame: But I'd rather have a phoenix.
DragonFyre: What!
PhoenixFlame: Yeah. I won't die if I try to pet it.
DragonFyre: "Pet" it! What are you…Hagrid?
PhoenixFlame: Maybe I'll be half dead and if I pet it, it'll cry and heal me.
DragonFyre: Or maybe it'll purr and you'll die.
PhoenixFlame: That's a cat, moron.
FredEatsDirt: Well I hate to break up this little lover's spat, but…

FierceFeline has signed in.

Georgeisagirl: uh oh
FierceFeline: What are you all doing up at this hour?! Professor Dumbledore didn't create HIM so that students could stay up half the night chatting away.
DragonFyre: Then why did he make it?
FierceFeline: To encourage inter-house unity and to serve as another resource for educational purposes.
DragonFyre: well he should've known we'd abuse it.
FierceFeline: One more word out of you, Mr. Malfoy, and you'll be in detention.
FierceFeline: And the rest of you! Get yourselves to bed!
Noxisacoolword: Yes, Professor.

Noxisacoolword has signed off.
PhoenixFlame has signed off.
MadSkillz has signed off.
TheInvisibleMan has signed off.
DragonFyre has signed off.
ChudleyCannonsRock has signed off.

FierceFeline: Freg and George! Get to your dormitories!
FredEatsDirt: We're not students anymore, professor…
FierceFeline: Then what are you doing here! HIM is supposed to be a closed system!
Georgeisagirl: uh…

FredEatsDirt has signed off.
Georgeisagirl has signed off.
ObsoleteDingbat has signed on.

ObsoleteDingbat: What imaginative names these kids create for themselves…