Summery: A letter killed him. Could one really bring him back?

Mailbox Misery – Chapter 1

By strawbeby

The twenty five year old beauty of a girl walked down the sidewalk of the town that had been her home for a couple of years. She strolled as if her body was a feather, being especially happy at aceing her really hard bioethics exam. The young lady didn't feel like going straight to her apartment, where she would most likely see her best friend and roommate, Serena storming around it because she had gotten a D and a "See you after class" from the teacher. Usually when that happens, Serena goes around saying things like "These teachers don't teach the subject properly. It's like they are just learning it from the teacher's book then telling us what it says," or "Those nit wits can't do this to me!"

Personally the girl loved bioethics. She was trying to get her masters to become a forensic scientists, and studying what they think that biologists should and should not do was fascinating to her. Serena, though, was getting her major in law, since she was always confident that she would win whatever argument she could get in. Other people's thoughts just didn't seem like a necessary to her, but she took the class because her father, the rich business owner, wanted his daughter to have a "rich knowledge of a variety of areas", as well as a masters degree.

'I love Serena to death, honestly,' the girl thought to herself. 'But she'll end up including me in her list of who to curse at for being better than her.' So she was in no rush to go back. 'Instead, why don't I take a walk around town.' She daydreamed as she walked to her favorite spot in the whole town, a little bridge that crossed over the tiny brook that was next to the school and was hidden by thick over growth. She sat delicately on the bridge that had been sprayed by water in an October rain earlier that morning.

The young lady let her thoughts pleasantly flow to what ever they wanted. Her father had recently joined an Alcoholics Anonymous group and had made an effort to clean up his act and be more professional of a detective. The girl was really proud of his decision, because since her parents were legally separated, she had spent the better part of her childhood years learning how to be the "adult" while he was off getting drunk.

This girl's mind went to the memory of the boy that her father had often taken advantage of. Eight years ago, Conan Edogawa had been as close to her as her own heart had been. He had seemed to understand everything that she was feeling, whether joy or depression. But then one day...

FLASHBACK TO EIGHT YEARS AGO:

Rachel shuffled through the morning mail, and to her surprise, a letter had arrived for Conan. Little boys do not only usually receive mail, but Conan wasn't even a permanent resident there. He just stayed there until his parents recovered fully from their car accident. After staring at it puzzledly for a couple of moments she handed the letter to the boy. Conan didn't even react though, like he received junk mail every day. He just opened it up then read the contents. It was only then that he showed a little boy's complete enthusiasm for getting mail.

"What did you get?" Rachel asked.

Conan looked from the letter to Rachel as if he was surprised that she was still in the room then replied with, "Aww, it is just junk mail. It just says 'Be clean not mean.' Nothing special." He left that day with out throwing the letter out, though, and he practically was clicking his heels as he left.

That was the last time Rachel had ever seen the little boy who was so close to her. Her principal approached her around the end of the day with sorrow as she told the eighteen year old that the boy had committed suicide by jumping off of a tall skyscraper. Rachel didn't even get to see the boy's face once more as the people at the morgue were already in the process of cremating him, a wish that was made in his will. And Conan's parent's could not even attend his funeral, as Rachel had been informed later that they had both died the same day from the critical conditions that the car accident had left them with.

END FLASHBACK

Rachel sighed with loneliness. It might have been a better life if she could have Jimmy here with her. But as she inquired about him a week or two later to Dr. Agasa, the Doc told her sorrowfully that Jimmy had gone to a better place while on case. She could even remember the old man giving all of his will power, trying not to cry as he spoke. "His body has been completely mutilated, poison running through his veins, then he had been defaced by those selfish son of a....who did it. So there will just be a memorial service." It was a wet night as she tried to sleep in her bed, her whole body fighting the tears to get sorely needed sleep. Rachel couldn't even bring herself to calm down during the service, though, and Serena had to hug her tight to get the girl to calm down even a bit. It couldn't have been worse if someone had stabbed a dagger through my heart. Why did they both have to be taken away from me?! Both had an unspoken power over my emotions, though in different ways. Both lines of the ones I held closest were cut and left me out to dry. It doesn't seem right.

Rachel couldn't even brace herself to cry, it happened so suddenly and hard. Flowing ribbons of emotions streamed down her face as she tried to be ashamed, but found that the rest of her feelings took up the space. She stared down into the brook to calm herself. Crying won't bring them back, Rachel. I've got to move on.

But she couldn't. She couldn't even move her personal life to go on a single date. Rachel felt so guilty whenever she accepted one, thinking to herself that she was forgetting them so easily. She just ended up canceling the date, and instead watched whatever love sick movie was on TV feeling sorry for herself in a quart of ice cream.

Rachel remembered the last full day that Jimmy and her had spent together. She grabbed his hand "in fear" on the roller coaster, and kept it there until the ride ended, when they discovered a dead man a couple of rows ahead of them on the ride. He kept his cool while he was inspecting the murder, though Rachel had broken out in tears. She followed Jimmy through the condescending crowd, knowing that he would never let anything ever happen to her. She had yelled at him afterwards for not feeling anything toward the people that the murder involved, but Jimmy just knowingly replied "I can't let the job get to me Rachel." His eyes showed deep regret in knowing that he let her down. She would have given anything to take back her sharp tongue just then, but she got distracted by a broken shoe lace. Jimmy then ran off to see what a suspicious man in black was doing.

That was the one of the last times she had ever fully seen him. She held his hand in the dark before. Rachel had seen his shadow a couple of times. She heard him talk on the phone often. Once he even came for, what, an hour to solve a case for a stupid diplomat then he disappeared, hacking his lungs off. But something happened. He changed. She couldn't get close enough to tell exactly what, but he knew more of how he felt about her, though she still couldn't tell exactly what side he was on. He even seemed more grateful for time being with her. But then he would go months of a time with out letting her know he was alright, scaring her out of her mind. She would try to forget him, but she just couldn't.

The little boy arrived right around the same time that Jimmy had left. He was a God send to me, a consolation while Jimmy was gone. Conan was so bright and clever, but he was never cocky. He always knew what was going on without having to be told. Somehow, he fit right in, wherever he was, whether with kids his own age, with Dad and I, or with a group of high class adults. Everyone loved him, and he was forever oblivious to it, like it was something natural to him. He looked up to Jimmy like a friend, though he had never met him, and he defended him like the end of the world. He was always so fond of me, as well, and I can clearly remember those times when he had risked himself to save me. I did the same for him in return, but he did it first, like it was expected. There were times in the beginning that he had reminded me so much of Jimmy, the way he acted, the things that he was interested in, his ability to make up what I know were excuses. I felt positive that Conan was really Jimmy, though I didn't know how. I had been proved wrong, though, and more than once. I should have then felt reassured, but it left me puzzled, and then going into the never ending cycle of worrying.

No matter how hard she tried, Rachel just drove her thoughts around in circles thinking about those two. She commanded her self to stop fortunately by thinking. Stop it, Rachel! They are dead and nothing you can ever do will bring them back. Nothing! You came here to not become depressed, and you did it to yourself again! I ought to just go back to my room and get yelled at by Serena, just to get my thoughts away from them!

So she just picked herself up, more of her body forcing her mind to leave the state she was in. Rachel stormed herself back to her dorm room expecting Serena to jump down her throat as soon as she opened the door. She then fumed her away across the room and fell heavily onto her bottom bunk bed and stared up at Serena's top one, expecting Serena to start ranting to her from the chair that she was in.

But all Rachel heard was silence. She glanced over at Serena and what she saw was not the fire ball side of her best friend. What Rachel saw was a Serena who had been struck with an awesome surprise, too great to even remember the stupid bioethics exam.

"What's the matter?" Rachel asked with concern.

Serena stared at an envelope in her hand then looked over at her friend and meekly said, "You got a letter."

Rachel was exasperated at her friend's surprise that she had gotten mail. They were forever getting things like junk mail and stupid bills now that they were considered adult. They each even corresponded with some American pen pals Serena had gotten them both to try and unsuccessfully get Rachel's mind away from the tragedy. Rachel snatched the envelope from Serena and saw the front. In a swirly, large handwriting, the author of the letter had written Rachel's name and address. The only thing that she saw written where the return address should be was a name. A large swirly familiar name.

Jimmy Kudo

Rachel stared at the letter with disbelief along with that long ago crushed hope that she had. Jimmy? But...he's dead. He's been dead. What if it's some crackpot stalker? But how could he imitate Jimmy's handwriting so accurately and precise? I've even tried to write that way and I always miss some zing. But it's here. This is really his hand writing.

"I bet it's some crazed lunatic, Rach." Serena said. "I wouldn't even open it. Jimmy's gone. This letter means nothing. Someone is trying to frazzle your nerves. I would just throw it away without even opening it." Serena had spent forever trying to get her to forget about Jimmy. She knew that the attempt to get Rachel to get rid of the letter before opening it was futile, but she didn't want Rachel to get upset again. Serena looked straight into Rachel's face and already knew that she had wasted her breath on the concerns. Rachel had been upset since she had walked into the door.

Rachel ignored her friend as she ripped open the letter. She then poured over what it told her.

Dear Rachel,

I know that right now you are staring at this piece of paper like it wasn't real. But it is, Rachel. I'm alive. I will see you soon. I'm sorry Rach, that I had to leave you like that, but I couldn't risk you knowing where I am. But now, I have an ally here. He is reliable, and the one who delivered this letter for me. I promise, soon this whole mess will be over with, and we will get to see each other once more. If only soon could come quicker though.

Jimmy Kudo

Rachel finished reading the letter, and read it over again, and again, until she fully comprehended what it said. Jimmy? Where are you? Why now, of all times? Why did you ever put yourself at risk? Why did you write this? It's not right, you always leaving me with questions. When am I going to ever see you again, Jimmy?

At the same time in a manor 30 minutes away from her college, in a secret room of a large manor that had over 200 rooms in it, Jimmy Kudo was told that Rachel had received the letter.