This morning, I decided that the worst part about being a vampire is that you couldn't fake being sick because vampires never get sick. Sure I missed being able to sleep, eat and drink sometimes but today I really wanted to play sick. I knew exactly what Alice had planned for the day and I wanted no part of it. Christmas shopping in Seattle was not my idea of fun and since we didn't need breaks she would have us shopping from the moment the stores opened until the last store locked the door with us inside to ring in whatever it was she deemed necessary. My shield was up and my enamorous husband was still trying to read my mind. You'd think by now he'd recognize my annoyed and extremely grumpy look. I kissed him back because I wasn't an idiot but he could tell something was off. I got out of bed and went to check on Renesmee who was sleeping peacefully in her bed undoubtedly dreaming about the day she had planned with Jake.
Edward had finally relaxed about his daughter spending time with her favourite playmate. Jake would do anything Nessie wanted and my sly daughter knew it. She took full advantage of her power and I don't think I ever heard Jake be so grateful when she told him that she was so over the princess dress up phase. Emmett looked the silliest but he never once complained while Jake never stopped. Hmm Em, he might be the only person who could rescue me from today and the mood it has put me in.
"I'm going up to the house to see a man about a horse," I stated.
Edward smirked at me, "Which man? I can tell you where he is."
"I'm pretty sure I'll find him in the basement playing a game."
"Ah, should I be worried that he is your go to guy?"
"Well we do love each other an awful lot," I teased back.
"I guess you had to find someone to replace Jacob with when he became a slave to our daughter."
"Em is actually more fun, he's got less common sense. He's very smart but he fears nothing. A day with Em is a day working without safety nets and I need that every so often. You still worry about me too much."
"Fine, go have your fun with my brother. He can protect you from the evil pixie too."
"See, you are too soft on Alice. You give into her easily. She's your favourite sibling."
"True, just do me a favour and put something on over that tank or Em will be looking at your boobs all day long and that my dear wife is my job!"
"Please he's got Rose."
"You are a change in scenery to him."
"Fine, I'll go throw a top on." I grinned to myself; Emmett had told me I had great boobs on a few occasions. I always reminded him that Rosalie could be a Playboy bunny. He'd waggle his eyebrows and get lost in a little fantasy involving Rose for a few minutes.
I tossed on a long sleeve T-shirt and my boots then went straight over to the main house. Esme was sitting in the living room trying to decide what colour theme she wanted the Christmas decorations to be this year.
"Bella, what do you think of various shades of blue and silver?"
"I think it would look very nice but we all know that you'll change it if your granddaughter wants something different. I don't think it will be pink and purple this year since she's getting over her princess phase."
"I might just put my foot down and tell her no. She can dictate your tree this year."
"Fine by me. Did you know that she sent Aro and Markus a Christmas card? She told Aro to tell Caius that he was mean so he doesn't deserve one. I think the less we remind them we still exists the better but she insisted."
"That is so precious, Aro might actual enjoy it. If she gets a card back then I'd say we could breathe a little easier."
"That's what Edward begrudgingly said too."
"Did you come over for a reason Bella?"
"Yes, I wanted to ask Em a question."
"He's in his usual place."
"I figured as much. I'll talk to you later."
"Okay, Dear."
I zipped down the stairs and stood in front of the big plasma screen. When I didn't move Em put the game controller down and looked up at me.
"Yes Bello Jello?"
"I was wondering when you last played in the snow? Fort and snowman making and a snowball fight are some of the activities I'm wondering about."
"I made several snowmen with Ness about a week ago but it's been about a year since I really played in the snow."
"Interesting."
"Since Rose is going shop…oh yes I think I'm going to have fun in the snow today but I need a playmate."
"Protect me and I'm yours."
"Oh we are going to have so much fun," Emmett stated while rubbing his hands together as if he was making an evil plan.
"Isabella Marie Swan Cullen!"
Before I could finish rolling my eyes Alice was in the basement looking very hostile. Emmett got up from the couch and stood behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist to protect me. I laughed when he rested his chin on my shoulder, which only made Alice's glare more deadly.
"You are not spending the day in the snow you are coming shopping."
"Alice, I'm finished all my Christmas shopping so there. I haven't even worn half of the things in my closet so I don't need any new clothes either. You and Rose will have a wonderful time power shopping instead of dragging me along with you. You always complain because I'm bitching and moaning anyway."
"Bella makes a good point and last time I checked this was a free country Pix."
"Stop calling me that you overgrown monkey!"
"Doesn't bother me Pix."
"Arrrghhhh! I hope you break something!"
"Did you know Pix was a pirate Bells?"
"Em, enough! Let Alice be."
"That is not getting you off my naughty list Bella. Some best friend you are."
"Enjoy your shopping Alice. Come on Em, I want to see my daughter off then we can start our day."
As soon as Renesmee saw us heading to the cottage she ran towards us shouting out Uncle Em, Uncle Em. I smiled as my daughter launched herself at him and Emmett caught her in his arms twirling her above his head with ease while she giggled in glee.
"Uncle Em, more like Aunty Em when he was wearing that ridiculous princess dress for her," Jake snorted.
Bella approached her old friend and smacked him upside the head; "Don't make fun of Emmett he would do anything for Renesmee WITHOUT complaining about it and he didn't imprint on her!"
"I wouldn't say that out loud Jake unless you want Bella to crush a few random bones," Edward warned having heard his thoughts.
"Anyone ever tell you how damn annoying your power is?"
"Jake?"
"Never mind Bells. Ness flip down off Emmett and go get ready."
"I am ready, daddy said I was dressed for the snow or the beach. Uncle Em will you help daddy put the Christmas lights all over the cottage? I want colored lights not boring white ones daddy."
Emmett and I both chuckled because we knew Edward had bought white lights. Emmett promised he'd help Edward even though it would only take ten minutes at the most to do the entire house at vampire speed.
"Jake have her home by eight and she is only allowed to eat people food today," Edward stated.
Once our daughter was gone Edward grumbled about having to go buy colored lights but he went back in to the cottage to get his wallet and car keys. I heard movement and turned just in time to get a snowball in the face.
"Emmett!"
"What? A snowball fight isn't any fun if the start time is established," Emmett laughed as he bent down to make another one.
I zipped behind him and dumped a large handful of snow down his back and prepared myself to get tossed into the snow. I was on my back with Emmett hovering over me, water from the snow in his hand dripping down my face when I heard my husband groan.
"Only I would walk away from my wife and brother in a very compromising position. Would the two of you please go play in the forest far away from the cottage. I don't want either of you two children to break a window with a snowball," Edward stated with an eye roll.
"Em get off of me, I want to kiss my husband good bye."
"He'll be back in an hour Bells."
"Off my wife before I pull you off her doofus."
"Doofus, oh that's rich Eddy. You use to swear more before Miss Bella came along."
"Get the fuck of my wife, Emmett before I fucking rip you a new asshole!"
I started laughing and managed to roll out from under my crazy ass brother in law leaving him face down in the snow. Springing up, I wrapped my arms around Edward's neck and kissed him deeply. "Em doesn't know what a dirty mouth you really have," I whispered into his ear before lightly nibbling on it.
"Your play date ends at four. You are all mine until the rugrat comes home wife."
"Yes, husband."
"Both of you are freaks," Emmett muttered as he made a snow angel.
One last kiss then I flopped down near Em and started to make a snow angel of my own. We made a circle of them in the backyard and two right outside of Renesmee's window before heading out into the forest to continue the snowball fight. Em made snowballs twice as fast as me but my aim was more accurate. We were laughing like loons and I had a hard time remembering when I had so much fun that didn't involve Edward and sex.
"We need to get Ness out here before Christmas and teach her how to enjoy the snow."
"I agree but you have to remember that she is still a child and you can't pelt her like you are pelting me. Well that is when you can actually connect… Ouch, watch the boobs Em or I'm going to start target practice on your balls."
"Truce, how about we go get some of Esme's pots and make an igloo?"
"Cool but we won't go past the back deck. I don't want to track water onto her floors. I'm sure she'd be happy to get them for us."
Twenty minutes later Em and I were lying in the snow underneath a large semi circle admiring our work. We'd used Rose's propane torch and Emmett's brut strength to make the bricks and built an igloo large enough for five or six people to comfortably lounge in. I went out to gather enough pine bows to cover the floor of the igloo and planned on bringing in some blankets to make Edward and I more comfortable at four.
"Em, don't even think about coming out here later unless you want to…just stay away!"
"Planning a little surprise for Eddy? I can't believe I once thought you were an innocent little doe. You are more like a naughty minx."
"Edward corrupted me what can I say?" I replied with a sexy little smirk.
"I think it's the other way around Bells and shouldn't Edward be back with the lights by now? I did promise Ness to help him."
"That right there is why I love you Em. You are this big hulk of a man but you're nothing more than a wise cracking teddy bear with a potty mouth."
"I also happen to love your daughter as if she were my own."
"I've noticed that. Let's go find my husband."
"Hit me with that snowball and I'll rip your arm off Em," Edward warned so Emmett hit me in the back instead. I turned around to give him a dirty look but the full dimpled mischievous grin on his face made me laugh instead. I picked up a bit of snow and tossed it at my husband.
"I will punish you for that later Bella."
"Mmm promise?"
"Will you two cut it out?"
"Em, shut up!" Edward retorted and laughed as I jumped on his back. He quickly spun my body around so I was in his arms and gave me a long kiss that made me want to take him right there, Emmett's presence be damned.
"Lights, for your daughter…What? I can have full custody of her for the rest of my life and you'll pay me to…"
"Nice try Emmett. The lights are in my car with waterproof extension cords. I'll be there in a minute after I deal with my naughty wife."
"A minute? I'm so disappointed that's all the time you'll need," I teased.
"You are always such a bad girl after spending time with Em."
"What can I say, he brings the naughty out of me. He called me a minx earlier."
"A naughty minx; yes I can totally see that, " Edward answered before nibbling on my lower lip and sucking it in to his mouth. We were still involved in a heavy make out session when Em came back to tell us the house was done. The entire house had been trimmed with lights including doors and windows. Every bush and tree was also fully decorated.
"Wow, it looks fantastic Em."
"I know and I'm taking full credit for it."
"I'll give you full credit man," an impressed Edward responded.
"Bells, we've done snow angels, snowballs, an igloo instead of a fort all that is left is snowmen. How about we make Ness a Cullen snow family?"
"She'd like that. I'm going to go up to the house to collect an article that can easily be identified and you and Edward can start making the family."
I chatted with Esme for several minutes and left my boots at the door so I could go find items. Esme helped me and fifteen minutes later we were both standing in our front yard admiring the boys work. Em had given Rose huge breasts and made Alice flat as a pancake. I warned him that they'd both see red but he simply shrugged and went back to working on Jasper. Esme and I made a snow Carlisle and then tossed a scarf around his neck. I went around accessorizing all the snow Cullens and convinced Edward that our daughter would expect to see a snow Jake. Edward insisted on making him in his wolf form and Emmett made another Ness riding on his back.
"I'd kill for a hot chocolate right about now," I muttered.
"I'll make you a mug but we both know you'd only end up throwing it up," Edward reminded me.
I know, there are parts of being a vampire that suck and I'm not trying to be ironic."
"It is ironic Bells," Emmett laughed.
"Let's show them our igloo Em."
"Just don't show up unannounced between four and eight Esme or you be hearing the soundtrack of a porno."
I made a very large snowball, called Emmett and got him right in the nose. He made a weak threat of retaliation but with Edward there nothing was going to happen to me. Esme was impressed with our igloo as was Edward and the four of us ended up taking a rest inside of it while Esme peppered me with questions about my Christmas' as a human.
"I'm going to head back to the house kids. Carlisle should be home in less than an hour and I think we should have some fun in the snow ourselves. I can't remember the last time I made a snow angel or a snowman. Where are my pots Emmett?"
"I'll go grab them and walk back up with you mom. I had fun today Bella, we have to do this with Ness later this week."
"I had fun too Em. Thank you for running with my idea and protecting me from Alice. Not that she could have forced me to go against my will. I think she looked into the future and saw that there was no way in hell I was going with her and Rose."
"I like riling the Pixie up, it's fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do Eddy, that wife of yours is one naughty minx."
"Emmett leave them alone. I'll see the two of you for Nessie's bedtime story. It's my turn tonight."
"See you later Esme, get lost Emmett," I teased.
"I know you love me Bella so don't even try to deny it," Emmett chuckled and crawled out of the igloo after Esme.
"Edward stay here and I'll be right back, make yourself comfortable."
Three minutes later I was back with pillows, a few blankets and the large faux fur throw Rose had given us last Christmas. After setting the stage I took my shirt off and thirty seconds later I was naked underneath my husband. As Edward was telling me how beautiful I was it dawned on me that snow days as a vampire were even more fun than the ones I had while I was human.