Song: Lillium Music Box (Rainy mood remix)
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It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre In this kingdom by the sea.
The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.
But our love it was stronger by far than the love Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.
For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.
- - Edgar Allen Poe
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I'm sitting on the clock tower, where me and him often sat, watching.
He ran with that group that we had often watched, that care-free group of kids that ran all around this town, the one forever bathed in the golden light of a sunset. They looked so happy, and it had made me jealous back then. Now, all I felt while looking at that group, now including Roxas, was sadness. I shouldn't feel that way, but it is very hard not to, looking at his familiar face, filled with happiness. He looks...content. Nothing like the troubled looks he often had while being in the Orginization.
He's so at peace; you can tell. He's not expecting anything suprising or different to happen to him.
He doesn't know, and he is filled with as much naivete as the rest of those kids down there.
I want to jump down from here, grab him by his shoulders, and shake him, willing those memories of everything that was before back to him, before he left.
I want to say that he left me, but that's not the case, is it? And even if he didn't leave just me, it still is hard to cope with, his absence.
It was hard to cope with, still is. I know when he left that the moisture that dripped from my eye, down the right side of face, wasn't just any water or sweat. I know it was a tear, because my chest was hurting, my eyes stinging with keeping in other tears. I held back sobs. I was crying.
And now I sit, close to tears once again, watching him, so...dare I say it? Beautiful. Yes, he is very beautiful. His sad blue eyes look so happy now, a complete contradiction from before.
Makes me a bit mad. That I couldn't really do anything back then to cheer him up much.
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When he says he doesn't know who I am, that makes me want to scream, loud, and set the nearest thing on fire. I absolutely HATE the confusion in his eyes, no recognition at all. How could he not recognize me? For God sakes he is my best friend.
When I tell him this, he refuses, and that breaks me.
Now I'm not going to dare tell him anything else of what I think of him. If I told him I loved him, he would never respond to me. He would simply run, and be gone from my life again.
So, I start a fight.
Because it is better that he hates me than not knowing me at all.
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"Where is XIII?" Saix had asked me as I returned from that day, the day that everything was ripped from me.
I just looked at him, seeing no trace of the friend that I saw when our Somebodies had been close friends. Just a cold, hard, professional stare that at any other moment I would have teased just to make him angry. Now I didn't feel anything. Nothing. It was the first time I had felt without a heart at all.
"Gone." I mumbled, walking to my room. I expected him to come after me, press me for more information, but he didn't. Maybe some sentimentality had stayed within his stern frame from before.
That's when I cried.
I cried for what felt like days, angry, hot tears that seemed to sizzle on my skin. He was gone. That I couldn't get out of my head. Never again would I pull him close to me in a one-armed hug. Or eat sea salt ice cream with him. Hold him close to me in those too-brief moments in battle, when he was injured.
In a way, he was dead.
And at the moment, the only one I could blame was Sora.
Roxas had returned to him, only because Sora made him. I knew that wasn't true, but who else could I blame?
That boy had taken away the boy that was saving me from becoming an empty shell, had taken away my angel.
I didn't understand it. I didn't want to.
I just wanted to blame someone, and to cry over Roxas for as long as I damned wanted to.
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So, I watch him here.
Watch his happy face, watch him and his "friends" play Struggle, eat ice cream, play games that kids did.
I never want to take that happiness from him. I want him to be happy forever, for as long as he lives.
God or whoever knows I would give my life for that smile of his.
I want to leave him alone, in this psuedo-Heaven of his, leave him to be just a regular boy. And let myself heal possibly.
But I know I can't let that happen.
I am going to get him back one day, even if it means my own death.
Just to prevent my angel from dying and forgetting me again.
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"And all I loved, I loved alone."
- - Edgar Allen Poe
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A/N: Wow. Two E. A. P. references in one fic. I love Edgar Allen Poe, and the reason I put Anabelle Lee in this fic is because it reminds me of Axel and Roxas. Terribly sad, but sweet all the same. This came to me at about three in the morning last night/this morning whatever you call it. Lillium seemed to go well with this fic too, with it's wistful, sort of sad lilt to it.
Well, I hoped you liked it!
Flamers, I'll have Larxene maim you if you flame anywhere near my fic. ^^ 3
- - Yuki