The world took one look at Tony Stark and saw a man who thought he was too good for everyone.
The world took one look at Tony Stark and didn't see that that same man actually thought that everyone was too good for him.
And when Tony Stark found himself doubled-over and laughing his heart out with the man who symbolized America's hope, he took a second to breathe and feel the warm, steady hand on his shoulder and thought:
'I love him.'
But, being Tony Stark, he took that love, took all those feelings, and tucked them away beneath fake smiles and sarcasm, burying them deep along with the rest of those emotions that would only end up hurting someone else.
When he realized that he was in love with Steve Rogers, Tony Stark squared his shaking shoulders and told himself once more that 'You have enough. Don't be greedy, Stark.' and pushed that love away. He learned from Pepper, and he wasn't going to do the same thing to Steve.
Because he was a sinner, and all he deserved was everything but happiness. Atonement was a long process, and Tony had gotten so used to making up for his mistakes, he didn't know when to stop anymore.
Perhaps he didn't deserve to stop?
Either way, Tony had too much, and he wasn't going to allow himself to have Steve. Good, good, handsome Steve, whose blue eyes lit up like the sun, and whose smile could melt anyone's heart.
It melted Tony's non-existent one, anyway.
And when he finally got himself to stop laughing, and look up a the man who could, should, never love him back, Tony felt the hole inside him open up even more, and another large part of himself withered up and crumbled away into it.
That's okay, though. As long as he still got to see those eyes, that smile, he didn't really mind.
Beggars can't be choosers, after all.