Waves Hello! I come bearing the gift of fanfiction! Ok, so mayhaps it isn't too big a gift. But it's still fanfiction. That counts for something right?

-Runs away-

Oh yeah. I forgot.

-waves hand- I disclaim.

Dedicated to PrettyGothGirl, simply because I can.

Dirty Deeds

Chapter One: Dachi schemes

"He's an insufferable jerk." Rikku mumbled angrily, one small fist pounding into her pillow, the other fisted tightly into her bedsheets.

Dachi gave a small sigh before taking a seat on the bed beside her. "You already knew he was a jerk, remember? It's one of the reasons you're chasing after him."

"I'm not chasing anyone!" The other man gave her a look, and she gulped in response. "At least not anymore. Honestly, all I wanted to do was say hi. It's not often that I get to stop off in Djose anymore."

Dachi nodded, urging her on.

"How was I supposed to know he was going to have his tongue crammed down someone's throat? Does he really think I would've chosen to interrupt something like that?"

"I doubt he even stopped to consider that walking in on them upset you in the least bit. You're pretty good at acting happy, even when you aren't."

"I know." She replied honestly, eyes filling once more with tears, "But that doesn't change the fact that he didn't even care that I might've been hurt."

"That's stupidity talking. Gippal would kill anyone that was trying to hurt you, and you know that."

"I'm going to rip out his good eye and feed it to a Shoopuf. We'll see who's hurting then."

Dachi merely shivered at the rather disturbing mental image before standing, and pulling her to her feet with him. "All I can honestly tell you is that Gippal cares for you very much, I just don't think he knows. Or knows what to do about it."

"How can you care about someone and not know? I'm fairly certain that love isn't something you can just not realize is happening. Besides, we've dated before. This isn't exactly new ground we're covering here."

"Such is the difference between men and women." He responded with a smile and handed her a tissue to dry her eyes. "Now, if you're through pummeling your blankets into submission, I think I might have a solution to your problem."

"What's that?"

"You want Gippal to notice you, right?" At her nod, he continued, "Well then, all we have to do is make him."

"And how do you propose we do that?"

"Shh, I'm getting there. Guys tend to be territorial creatures. Get another guy into Gippal's personal space, and poof, you have your proof that he still cares."

Rikku merely blinked.

"What I'm saying is that you act like you're dating some other guy. Give him a dose of his own medicine."

She blinked again.

"For Spira's sake, Rikku! You take a guy, shove your tongue down his throat a few times, and make Gippal the jealous one for once."

"O...kay.. And where am I supposed to find a guy willing to let me use him to make my ex boyfriend jealous?"

"I honestly don't think you'll have too much trouble." He replied, his eyes running down her smaller frame quickly.

She resisted the urge to smack him. Barely.

Dachi chuckled, a deep rumbling sound, before leaning in closer to her. "I can help you out if you want."

She narrowed her eyes slightly as if sizing up the other man, "What's in it for you?"

"Nothing at all! Merely the company of a pretty lady!"

Her eyes narrowed further.

"Honestly!"

She cracked her knuckles.

"Fine! A lady friend of mine might have been a wee bit upset after we broke up. And she might have started a few rumors that I'm having trouble quelling."

She raised an eyebrow, "What kind of rumors?"

"The kind that you don't need to worry about."

"If I'm going to make out with you in front of Gippal, you're going to have to give me a better answer than that."

"Rikku..." His tone was firm.

"Dachi..." Hers was firmer.

The man gave a deep sigh and dropped his head before speaking, "The kind of rumors that involve myself and a hypello."

She blinked again. "You're right, I don't need to know."

"I thought you might agree. I need help straightening people out, and you need help getting Gippal to notice you. It's a win win situation for both of us."

She chewed her bottom lip for a moment as she considered the proposition. She wasn't sure what worried her more, the fact that Dachi was suggesting that they should mock-date, or the fact that it actually seemed to make sense.

Reluctantly, she extended a hand to him.

"We have a deal, then?"

"Deal. But I swear, if you make me regret this, I'll make you regret me, understand?"

"Sure thing." He replied as he shook her hand. He gave a small little wave then, before heading to the door.

Her voice stopped him before he could get all the way out. "Dachi.."

"Yeah?"

"How long have you been planning this?"

"Weeks. I just had to wait for him to mess up badly enough to talk you into it." He replied with a grin before stepping into the hallway, the door sliding shut with a soft woosh behind him.

Rikku groaned. "What the hell have I gotten myself into?"

Gippal checked under the bed once more, in the off chance that a small Al Bhed girl had managed to magically appear there in the last thirty seconds.

She hadn't.

"Where the hell did she go?" He mumbled to himself, rather grumpily.

So he had overreacted a teenytinylittle bit. So maybe it wasn't her fault that he was making out with someone in the middle of a hallway in the temple where anyone could've seen them. And honestly, if it had been anyone else, he probably wouldn't have blown up the way that he had.

But somehow, having her catch him with his hand up some girl's shirt simply didn't evoke the best feelings in the world.

She'd merely stood there for a moment, jaw slightly agape, an expression on her face that he was almost positive matched his own. Her gaze had unconsciously started to travel downward, and that's when he'd freaked.

Because it was better for her to be furious with him than for her to see where the other girl's hand was at that moment. Or more importantly, what that hand was doing. So he had snapped at her, and asked her if she minded giving them a little privacy.

She had blushed slightly before flashing him a smile and heading back off in the direction she had come from.

At which point Gippal had quickly dislodged himself from the girl, whose name he couldn't even remember at that moment, righted his clothes, and taken off after her.

Because Gippal might've been an asshole, but he wasn't stupid, though any idiot could see that she had been upset that he had snapped at her.

The only problem was that, for the life of him, he couldn't find her anywhere. It was like she had disappeared off the face.. of.. the.. planet..

That's precisely when it hit him.

He couldn't find her anywhere because she wasn't currently on the planet. She was above it, and he had a pretty good idea as to where.

The commsphere buzzed twice before she answered it, doing her damndest to hide the grimace she knew she was sporting.

"Gullwings. Rikku speaking."

"I can see it's you, kid. You didn't have to tell me."

"You called the hotline number. How was I supposed to know it was you?" Of course, this was a lie. She knew damn well it was him before she even contemplated answering. The little flashing light on the panel located right next to Djose had told her as much. But there was no point in telling him that. "Did you need something?"

It was then that Gippal discovered perhaps he hadn't thought this plan out as far as he should've. He had been running on pure.. nonthought.. when he had decided to call her. And honestly, he had expected getting her on the phone to be a bit more of a struggle than it had been, so he was completely unprepared as to what he should do next. "I was just wondering where you ran off to, that's all."

Oh yeah, he was smooth.

"Aww, how sweet, you were worried about me!" She chirped and placed a hand mockingly over her heart.

Gippal gave a small snort, "Hardly. I was more curious as to what the hell you were doing here in the first place." Real smooth.

"Just dropped by to say hi. Oh, plus Pops asked me to remind you that his birthday party's coming up next week, and he expects to see you there."

"Pfft. As if I could forget. He only reminds me every fucking day."

"I know, I know. But he's getting old. It's possible he forgets that he's reminding you." She added with a giggle. It was at that moment that she felt an arm slide around her waist from behind.

Needless to say, it was all she could do not to scream.

She steeled her nerves quickly, however, upon realizing that said arm was dark brown.

"There you are, I was wondering where you had run off to." She felt as much as heard him speak, his voice rumbling into her back.

"Sorry, the hotline rang, and I had to answer it."

She gave a glance up to the commsphere then, curious as to what reaction, if any, Gippal might've had.

If he was the least bit surprised, he wasn't showing it. And Rikku was, to be honest, a bit let down. Perhaps he simply didn't care who she dated.

"Hey, if it isn't Mr. Faction. How's it going?" Dachi asked the other man, his hand never leaving it's position.

"Not too bad on this end of the world. How've things been with you?"

"Couldn't be better." He answered with a grin before pulling Rikku further back into his chest. "Oh man, I'm sorry Riks, was I interrupting? I can go if you want." He glanced between the commsphere and the blonde girl quickly as if just realizing that there was a conversation being held before he popped in. He started to pull away from her.

"No!" She answered quickly before pulling him back to her. "I mean you don't have to go, we're pretty much done here anyway, right Gippal?"

Gippal merely nodded in reply.

"Great, then we'll see you at Pops' party next week." She finished with a smile before severing the link between the commspheres.

Once she was sure that the connection had been broken, she stepped away from the embrace. She pinched her nose between her thumb and forefinger thoughtfully for a moment before giving a small sigh. "I don't think this is working."

"And how do you figure that?"

"He didn't even freaking blink." She groaned and slumped over into the captain's chair.

"Did you act upset when you walked in on him earlier?" Dachi asked, eyes full of what she could swear was amusement.

"Not exactly, but I don't see..."

"Precisely, you don't see. Just because he didn't act upset, didn't meant he wasn't upset. We just have to wear him down a little bit. You can't expect the man to just fall over and admit his undying love for you after simply seeing someone hug you. Especially me. Think about it, I've been around you for longer than even he has, and that's practically forever. It's possible that he interpreted it as nothing more than a hug between friends."

"But, I don't want him to think it was a hug between friends." She whined, sounding more like a stubborn 4 year old girl than a mostly grown 18 year old woman.

"Which is why I'm here, remember? I'm here to make him realize he doesn't want to lose you. As of right now, I'm not Dachi, I'm the other guy. And I'm going to make him work for it."

Rikku merely grimaced, 'This can't end well...'

Contrary to how it might seem for the first few chapters, this really won't be a heavy angsty drama ridden fic. I can't write drama or angst, so I don't even try. I'm a sucker for happy endings, and I like my fluff extra fluffy.

Granted, I've got to get to the more lighthearted bits. But they're coming, I promise! In the meantime, see that little button down there? If you push it, and tell me what you thought, I'll give you a cookie.

Please? I have Oreos! Anyone?

'Til next we meet! Chante