Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls

A/N: I hope you like it. It's Jess' thoughts about Rory as he tries to write a book. In this story, Jess never told Rory that he loved her, and didn't find her at Yale. Please Read and review.

He was at a loss. As hard as he tried he could not find an idea for the story. He knew what he wanted to write about, and he knew some paragraphs that would go in. But, he couldn't figure out how to start it. The story was going to be about his, and Rory's relationship, about what really happened and about what he wanted to have happened, his plans and his thoughts about everything. When he was trying to sleep, the whole story would run through his head but, as soon as he would run to find paper, the thought would be lost and, he, frustrated.

He knew what he needed. He needed her, the only person who believed in him, and in his writing. But, that was unrealistic. He had blown it, and he knew this all too well. He had left, her, her life, and any chance of a life with her. So, here he sat, in the darkness of his candlelit room. He had forgotten to pay his electricity bill again and the lights were out. He decided to try and start the story. He looked at the crossed out ideas on the sheet of paper that lie in front of him.

Once upon a time in the small town of Stars Hallow

As she sat there

From the first time I saw her

All, the things that he had written were too cliché. He wanted something that she would be proud of. That she would read for years and years to come. That is, if she ever read it.

He looked at his watch and saw that is was nearly midnight. He decided to go to bed, and took some paper with him, just in case he had another idea. No ideas came and he drifted off to sleep.

*Ring!* *Ring!*

"Hello?" He asked sleepily

"Jess?"

"Rory? Wha- how's it um…going?"

"I love you."

"What?"

"I want you. I miss you. You are everything to me. Come to New Haven, come to Yale…please? I need you here. My life isn't the same without you. Please come."

Jess just stood there, stunned. Had he really just heard that? Was Rory really asking him to come to her?

"Rory, I-"

He woke up in a sweat. 'Crap! It was a freakin' dream?!' But, it gave him an idea. He would go to Yale and ask her to run away with him. 'No, that's crazy! She would never go with me! I left her! I can't go back!' So, instead he went into the kitchen and poured the left over coffee from yesterday in to a mug and lit the candle from earlier and sat and read 'Howl'. She had given him the book about a week before he left and had answered the thoughts he had written in there so many years ago. Written on the inside of the back cover she had written:

"Jess, I want you to remember that no matter where life takes us, I will always believe in you."

~Rory

He wondered if she had found someone new at Yale. Someone who would be good for her. Someone who would be dependable. She deserved a guy like that; he wasn't good for her. That is why he left. He wanted her to have everything she could possibly have and if she didn't, it wouldn't be his fault.

But, somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that if he came back and he explained himself, she would take him back, at least as a friend. That was all he needed, to see her, make sure she was ok, and that she was the same Rory that he loved. But, for now he was stuck here, in his tiny rundown apartment, trying to write a book that she would be proud of.

Days, weeks, and months past, and he had written the middle and end of the book, but he still couldn't write the beginning. As soon as he was about to give up all hope, an idea hit him. IT was the beginning of his story, and it was great. He quickly typed it up at and started to read through the whole story. It was good, it was really good, and that is in his completely biased opinion. He sent it to his publisher and went back to sleep.

Morning came and, there was an e-mail from his publisher saying that his book was accepted and the first publishing would be in three months. He was so excited that he completely forgot that he and Rory hadn't spoken in years and went to go call her, as the phone was looking for service he remembered and quickly pressed end.

Realization had hit him again; he wasn't with Rory and would probably never be. Even though it had been years since he had seen her, he still couldn't get over the fact that this was it. She probably had a new life, and forgot all about him and their past.

But he had an idea. He would dedicate his book to her. So, he sat down at his computer and typed:

"I dedicate this book to Rory Gilmore, the one who always believed in me, even when I did not. This book is couldn't have been written without you in the world."

A few months later, his publisher informed him that his book had been published and he was to be given a few copies. He mailed one to Luke, one to his mom, and one to Rory.

A/N: I hoped you like it. I'm sorry if there are any mistakes, It was the middle of the night when I wrote this. Please review and tell me what you thought. Good or bad, just don't be too mean.