Another wonderful fic written for me by the most awesome Jason! =D This story is based off the 90's cartoon God the Devil & Bob! The devil in this was always so emo and in need of a spanking, and so, Jason made it a reality for me! Yea! Hope you enjoy!
Lucifer side-stepped to the right, and a fallen cherub struck the ground where he had been standing. His narrowed eyes swept the field of battle, gauging the state of war. His demons flooded heaven, the pearly gates lying twisted and broken upon the ground, great gouts of flame signaling his army's advance into the sacred realm. The angels had not expected this, everyone thought him complacent of late, they did not realize his intent until it was far too late. God was away on a ski trip with Bob, Heaven had never been so open to attack. Lucifer had been clever. He knew God was omnicient, so he had carefully cropped his own thoughts and actions so as to make this as unpredictable as possible. He had not been sure that it would work, but at he gazed out upon his legions tearing down the pristine towers of this holy land his heart leapt with satisfied pride. His dark eyes passed across the sky and he observed the Seraph angels as they amassed for battle. The Devil turned to a small grinning demon at his feet, ''Smeck, fire the catapults!''
The little demon saluted his horned head, ''Aye aye, sir!'' The creature motioned with one clawed hand, ''Fire!'' and huge machines fired huge barrels of industrial fly-paper into the air.
Lucifer laughed as he watched the surprised looks on the Seraph's faces as the fly-paper jammed thier wings, causing them to plummet from the skys. ''Now this is entertainment!'' He grinned widely, his fangs shining with reflected light, ''See, Smeck, I told you it would work! Now send some reaver demons in there to mop up the rest!'' Smeck nodded vigorously then scampered off with the message.
Satan walked amoung the ruins, relishing the screams of battle, when a voice pierced the smoke.
''Lucifer!''
The Devil jumped, his eyes widening in fear as his head twisted left and right to until his gaze locked onto God's approaching form. The very clouds roiled around God as he rapidly advanced, and Satan was overwhelmed with a sinking feeling in his stomach. ''Oh no...''
Lucifer's hands and legs pumped, his head leaned back and his mouth a tight line of strain as he ran as fast as he could back towards the gates to heaven. God stood next to him despite his speed, keeping pace without moving his legs with his arms folded and a look of annoyance on his elderly face. Lucifer nearly jumped out of his skin when he looked over and saw God was right next to him, ''Ah!'' Satan stopped running and squinched his eyes shut, his hands balling into fists and his whole body shaking as he bent his knees and leaned slightly forward. He stood thus shaking with effort for a few moments before peeking out with one eye.
''Your still here, Lucifer.'' God sighed at him, ''Remember, your powers don't work here, you can't teleport to hell on this side of the gate.''
Lucifer's eyes looked forward to the smashed gates longingly, and his licked his lips, gulping as he realized that as close as he was, he would never make it. His eyes returned nervously to God, ''I-I can explain...''
''Lucifer, I'm God, what the hell do you think you can say that I don't know?'' God pulled his shades off, slowly folding them before placing them in his pocket as the Devil began to sweat. Those eyes were so angry, he was really in for it this time.
''You haven't tried this in quite a while, Lucifer, but it's obvious you didn't learn from being tossed out on your head the last time.'' God glared at him and Satan shuffled his feet anxiously, ''What do you think I should do to punish this utter stupidity?''
The Devil smiled weakly at him, his eyes apologetic, ''How about a slap on the wrist and a very stern remand?''
God studied him, scratching his thick white beard with one hand as he thought, ''Hmm... slap. Yes, perhaps this has been a long time coming.''
A small chair popped into existance and God reached foward, snatching Satan's wrist as Lucifer's eyes widened in confusion. ''Hey, wha...?'' God sat down and with one motion threw the Devil across his lap. ''What are you doing?!''
God's bushy brows drew down, ''Something I should have done a long time ago. I'm going to punish you for invading heaven.''
The Devil chuckled nervously as he looked back over his shoulder at God, ''Your going to spank me? ...you can't be serious... God?'' Satan felt a drop of sweat roll across his face as God ignored him, pulling his pants down to expose his ass to the air. ''Wait! There has to be some other way!'' The Devil's gaze swept nervously across the battle still raging around them, ''Someone might see!'' he whined.
God scowled at him, ''Should have thought of that before you barged in here, breaking my stuff.''
The Devil howled as God lifted his hand, aiming a first slap, ''But your the Creator! You can just make it all again, easy!'' Sweat really poured down the Devil's face now, his voice wavering.
God shook his head, ''That's not what it's all about. It's about the priciple of the thing.'' With that he brought his hand down with a hard swat, and Lucifer squeeled, shooting his hands back to protect his rear. ''Now now, you cover up like that and I'll make this much worse for you.''
Lucifer craned his head back, whimpering, ''B-but it hurts! Please reconsider?''
God fixed him with an even stare, ''Nope, and I mean it, put those hands forward or your going to regret it.''
Satan whimpered again as he slowly extended his hands forward, his eyes tightly shut as he anticipated the next strike. A few seconds passed and he had begun to peek back when God slapped him again. ''Ah! That smarts!'' Tears of pain began to form in Satan's eyes as God slapped him hard then waited a few seconds to swat him again. Lucifer struggled with his impulse to cover his pained rear, his hands jerking back a little more each time as God swatted the same tender area over and over again, each strike doubling the pain. ''P-please tell me we are almost done?''
''Nope.'' God leaned over to lock eyes with Satan, a serious look in his eyes, ''I want to make sure you don't forget this time, I don't want to deal with this every three thousand years or so because it 'slipped' your mind.'' God swatted him and the Devil cringed.
''B-but I'm the Prince of Darkness! I'm supposed to be evil!'' Lucifer shook with the effort of keeping his hands forward as God continued to steadily slap him.
God sighed, ''That's not the way it works, you know that. You leave heaven be and I leave your hell alone, that's the rules.''
Lucifer clenched his teeth against the pain, his eyes pleading, ''I didn't realize that, I got a little fiesty! You have to let this one slide, it was an honest mistake!''
God scowled, ''I know your the Lord of Lies and all, but you know better than to try to pull one over on me, Lucifer, you know I know better.'' God slapped him hard and Satan yelped, his hands shooting back again. ''I told you about those hands, Lucifer!''
Satan cried, tears streaming down his face now, ''I-I can't help it! You know I don't have a very high pain threshold...'' Lucifer sniffled as he covered his ass with his hands, relishing the respite from the stinging slaps.
''Very well, Lucifer, you give me no choice. Lucifer, I command you to reach forward.'' The Devil's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open as his hands shot forward, his fingers splayed. ''Oh no, please no!'' God began swatting him again, each swing punctuated by a cry of pain from Lucifer as his eyes bulged, his mouth wide as he screamed his hurt. ''Oh, God, please stop!''
God simply shook his head, ''Nope.''
Satan kicked his legs up on each swing, but the angle at which he sat kept them from really getting in the way, so God kept on slapping one cheek then the other then both, the rythm maddening in that it hurt more each time. After a time of this, Satan began screaming and kicking, squirming this way and that in futile effort to get free as his body spasmed in pain.
God stopped and the Devil continued to sob, his breath hitching as he cried. ''So, Lucifer, what brought on this attack, hmm? You're usually pretty much a coward, what made you decide to come gallavanting in here setting things on fire?''
Satan looked at the floor, his head bowed as he sobbed for a long moment. He raised his head to peer back at God with tear-stained cheeks, ''I... I don't know... I guess I don't feel like you pay me much attention. Maybe if I destroyed heaven you would notice.'' The Devil's bottom lip trembled as he said this and he bit it.
God's expression softened, ''I see. I suppose you don't really know any other way, huh? Still, you've made an awful mess here, and your gonna need to be diciplined with a firm hand if I'm gonna get this this rule through to you.''
Lucifer's eyes widened as God summoned a long slender paddle into his hand, ''W-wait, I can't take any... ah! ...no please, ow!'' God struck him squarely as his cheeks quivered compulsively in pain, ''Stop! Stop! Ahh!'' But God did not stop, slapping his reddened ass in that same slow rythm, each time giving Lucifer time to thouroughly fear and anticipate the next swing. ''Oh please God have mercy!''
God only humphed as he continued the punishment, laying lash after lash upon Lucifer's burning cheeks. Lucifer really squirmed now, trying with all his might to escape the mind-numbing pain, but a hand rested lightly in place on his back secured him as if it were a vice. Lucifer panicked as the pain increased with the growing sensitivity in his already welted ass, and the knowledge that he was pinned with no hope of getting loose until God chose to release him made him scream out in agony, his voice going hoarse with the repeated shouts, his throat sore. ''Ahhhhhh!''
God changed the pace suddenly, striking faster and harder in rapid fire and Satan's eyes bulged as his face flushed red, his whole body rigid with shock, his mouth hanging open in a silent scream, his lungs unable to create air. Then God focused on one cheek, hitting the same exact place rapidly and Lucifer found it in himself to scream anew, tears flowing down his cheeks in rivers. When that pain had begun to become a overwhelming to the point of being numb, God switched to the other cheek and repeated the process with new pain, and Lucifer's yells became even louder. ''Well, then, Lucifer, what have we learned here?''
God stopped slapping him and Satan's voice hitched as he tried to speak with a dry mouth and sore throat, ''I-I am never t-to try and invade heaven e-ever again.'' Lucifer continued to sob, his lip quivering in abject misery.
God smiled down at him, ''That's good. Now get yourself back to hell and torture an evildoer or something.''
Lucifer simply nodded, the tears on his face drying. God let him go and he stood slowly and painfully. Satan's eyes widened as he realized that the fighting had stopped. The heavenly host and the fiends of the underworld both watched him in silence. Lucifer covered his eyes with his hands as he ran towards the gate, yelling, ''Oh God! I hate you all!''