Good day all. I am new to this fandom, but have known about the series for years. I am writing this now because I am rather sick and when I am sick I get all emotional about random things like how pretty the flowers are or that Fruits Basket is over. I will probably continue and add random one-shots to this series that I will actually call Random One-Shots. Each chapter will have a different rating.

This story is rated T for content.
I do not own anything, so if you sue me all you'll get is a smile.

/GG/

The Talk

"I would have thought we would have been having this talk with orange hair right before the wedding." Uptoni murmured as she and Hanajima walked silently from the station.

The trip had been rather arduous and more than one passenger had declined sitting next to the pair. Why had that orange brat taken their Tohru so far away? Saki had foreseen it and there was very little they could do about it now. Still…what in the hell was the reason for needing to come and have this talk before the wedding.

"I have already told you Arisa, there comes a time in every parent's life where they have to speak to the one who is taking their baby. Since Tohru doesn't have those parents we have to fill in."

The rain started to drop sporadically as the two made their way toward the dojo. Tohru wasn't going to be there; she had gone to visit Kisa for a middle school graduation.

"That doesn't answer my question." Came an irritated reply. "Did you see him dishonoring her in some way?" The thought hit Arisa like a sledge hammer as she quickly tried to erase the thought of Sohma and little Tohru together out of her mind.

"You're one to talk." The deadpanned answer caught both women off guard.

"If you weren't one of my best friends I would bitch slap you."

"I know, but it's that I am one of your best friends that I can speak to you like that and you won't. Besides, we are not actually going to have this talk for real; this is just to help keep things simple a little while longer."

Arisa nodded; she understood.

The remainder of the walk was in silence as the rain fell down from overhead. Normally they would have called, but this was too important a discussion to have over the phone. Sohma-san needed to listen.

/GG/

Kyo sat in his room, completely comatose. He'd thought that with the lifting of the damn curse the rain wouldn't bother him anymore, but no. Instead he got barometric pressure headaches. What he wanted was to take a large dose of Advil and sleep for a few hours until his head adjusted to the change.

Of course that wasn't going to happen, now was it?

After being summoned he put on a fresh set of robes and went to the meeting area. He passed the students practicing and smiled. It reminded him of when he was younger and trained with Hatsuharu. It almost seemed like those days were a whisper on the wind.

The two women sitting in the dojo meeting room almost made him wet himself.

"Uotani-san, Hanajima-san?" Then the worst thought popped into his head. "Is Tohru alright?"

Both women smiled at his words; yes, they liked Sohma Kyo-san very much.

"Tohru is fine. Why didn't you go with her to the graduation party?" Uotani asked.

"I managed to get her a job cooking and cleaning here, but if one of us isn't around to help out with the chores then the dojo closes until we get back." He answered with an air of maturity neither woman had seen in him before. "I couldn't do that to the students."

"Good answer." Uotani smiled.

"We need to have a talk Sohma-san." Hanajima stated simply.

"Jumping right into business are we Saki?" Uotani asked with raised eyebrows.

"We don't have much time if we want to make the last train that will make it home."

Kyo shivered as he listened to those words come from her mouth. It wasn't very often Hanajima spoke about future events, but if she did they always came true.

"So what's this big talk you had to travel all the way here to speak to me about?" He was both curious and nervous at the same time.

Hanajima closed her eyes for a moment and concentrated. "I like your waves right now; they tell me what I wanted to hear."

Kyo eyed her warily, "What are you talking about?"

"You know our girl is a virgin, right?"

Kyo didn't know whether to piss his pants or vomit, so he just turned a bright shade of red instead.

Uotani smiled. "See, I told you he was honorable. He hasn't done anything worth worrying about yet."

"Um…can we not have this conversation?" Kyo asked looking at both women. Had it been before the curse had been broken Kyo would have changed into a cat and for a microsecond he wished he'd still possessed that ability.

"We will have this conversation because we want to make sure you treat Tohru like a lady." Uotani stated matter-of-factly.

"Wait a minute, why do I need to discuss my sex life with…" He couldn't finish the sentence because the look from both Uotani and Hanajima was enough to curdle milk.

"I am guessing you are still a virgin too." Hanajima said taking a sip of the tea in front of her.

Kyo shifted uncomfortably on the floor and tried to look anywhere but at Tohru's friends. What in the hell was this kind of talk?

"That answers that question." Uotani smiled evilly.

Kyo put his finger up to protest at their forwardness.

"Masturbation doesn't count."

Kyo wanted to die. That wasn't even on his mind at the moment. He was so frustrated and embarrassed he couldn't help himself.

"Look you two!" He snapped, even startling himself. "I appreciate you coming all this way to protect Tohru from big bad me, but I have only honorable intentions in mind. Whether you want to believe me or not there are things in my past I am still trying to come to terms with. Sex is not at the forefront of my mind right now, though I will admit it has been there in the past."

He eyed them warily. Both were looking intently at the man who was spilling his guts for them to see.

"I can guarantee you this though. When Tohru and I are ready, both of us, we will do what we please. And it's none of your fucking business when that time happens to be," he slammed both hands down on the table, knocking over one of the cups of tea. He felt the liquid surround his fingers as he finished his tirade. "Got it?"

Hanajima smiled at Uotani and nodded. "He has very good waves right now."

Kyo wanted to strangle the both of them. How could they be so calm and collected after coming all the way to give him the sex talk?

Uotani leaned over and ruffled Kyo's hair.

"Relax orange-boy. We knew you were honorable. We just wanted to see how you'd react."

This caused Kyo to sit down, hard, on his butt. "So this was all to get me worked up…again?"

"You are too easy and too tense." Saki said as she helped herself to a cookie that hadn't fallen into the spilt tea. "But we do care about Tohru, so we expect to hear only good things."

"Let's go Saki before he hocks a hairball." Arisa giggled.

The ex-cat didn't even get up to show them out, he was so shocked, embarrassed, and in a completely undignified pose. He got to his knees and clasped his hands together.

"Please, please, please let Tohru not speak to those two about our bedroom life when it happens."

/GG/

"I think we had his attention and now I am certain he will wait till the wedding."

Hanajima and Uotani boarded the train and took their seats.

"He really isn't that bad of a person." Uotani said as she turned around and stared the man smoking a cigarette behind her down.

"No, he is a good person, but more importantly he is good for our baby Tohru. And one day, when our baby becomes a woman, that boy becomes a man it will be with love and respect."

"So how about you and Kazuma-sama?"

Hanajima sighed, "Wouldn't you like to know."