Title: Aftermath
Author: CosmicalMadison
Summary: The Doctor cries for everything he has lost. JE spoilers.
Rating: K
Genre: Angst
When the Doctor returned to the TARDIS after bidding Donna's grandfather goodbye, it only took a matter of moments for him to break down. He cried for all the things that are, the people he had lost, and what was to come in the future.
Rose, his lovely Rose. He had felt more alive seeing her finally than he had since their first time on Bad Wolf Bay. It had hurt him incredibly to leave her on that beach with his double, though he knew it had to be done. He could still see so clearly the tears on her face as she said she didn't want to go back, that the man he was leaving with her wasn't him. He agreed, and he couldn't deny the spark of jealousy he had felt when she had kissed him - imagine, jealous of himself! - but it had to happen. In order to keep the universe together. That was infinitely more important than the emotions of two insignificant people.
Jack, Martha, and Mickey, they had gone better. He had felt all right watching them walk off in Cardiff, moving on to other things. Other adventures, maybe less dangerous than their ones in the TARDIS, but maybe just as exciting.
Then there was Donna. He couldn't explain how much it had hurt when he had come to realize what he would have to do. It was almost as painful as losing Rose all that time ago, like one of his hearts had stopped beating. In a way he'd been happy to learn that she had absorbed some of him from his clone. Finally, someone who could understand him. But, like everyone before her, it couldn't last. It took little time for him to realize that letting her stay that way would have meant her death, and soon. He had, once again, had no choice. The look on her face, her anguished cry, when he raised his hands to rid her of the knowledge still haunted him. The way she had looked at him when he left her house, not even knowing him, cut deep.
He wondered what would happen now. He knew there were those out there who still needed him, but he could barely face the thought of traveling on alone. He couldn't select a new companion right away, either, though. He needed time to mourn, and he wouldn't force that on anyone.
Perhaps one day he would meet someone else, someone as good for him as Rose or Donna. He hoped so. That hope was dim now, but maybe it would grow brighter in the coming years. He hoped it would.