Hello! I'm back. I hope you all enjoy this. Please excuse my grammar mistakes.
I grew up with a life set up for me. People have many expectations out of me. It feels odd since my opinions were never asked for. Which led to broken hearts because I am not who everyone wants me to be. It makes me feel bad, but then I remember that I have no obligation to be who what others want me to be, no matter how important that person is to me.
The first one was being expected to grow up to be a doctor. My dad is a doctor and my mom is a nurse. I suppose that because I am surrounded by medicine and medical terms, my parents just thought I would follow their footsteps. The only grades they ever worried about was for my science or math classes. Every once in awhile, they would talk about medical school and how amazing it would be if I apply to their old university. I could easily receive a legacy scholarship. They were so invested in the concept that I finally had the awkward talk with them during my freshman year in high school.
Needless to say, they were utterly disappointed. It wasn't only because I don't want to be a doctor, but also because I have no idea what I want study in college. I mean, I was a freshman in high school. Yea, we don't talk about my future career anymore.
The second expectation that I shattered was from Mikasa. She and Armin have been my best friends since kindergarten. To me, they both are like my siblings. However, I guess it wasn't the same for them. I don't know where in our lives did the structure change but it did.
During middle school, Mikasa started acting weird around me, which I guess was fine. The female population go through puberty during that time. However, when I turned 15, I went through puberty. I had a growth spurt that I prayed every night to stop. Thankfully, I stopped growing at 5'7", but my voice became a little lower.
Anyways, I don't know why, but it was expected of me to date Mikasa. It was the most awkward conversation I ever had, especially because it was at the lunch table with our other friends. The school dance was coming up and as the lame sophomores we were, we were going to attend it. Casually, Mikasa asked me to go with her as a date. Casually, I said "no," because I wanted to go as a group. The table went silent after that. Mikasa got really upset and kept questioning me why.
At this point of my life (I mean, I had just went through puberty for gods sakes), I knew that I am gay. I got really frustrated because it was assumed that I was straight, like that's some kind of default until changed. Also, even if I was straight, I was expected to date Mikasa. Apparently, being friends since kindergarten allows you to put a claim on a person. Before Mikasa could have a bitch fit, I did. I announced to the table that I am gay and if they had a problem with it, they could fucking choke on a dick. I left the table all irritated and shit.
Thankfully, the next day, I was forgiven for my bitch fit and my sexuality wasn't out in the open with the school or my parents. Mikasa apologized to me and then everything went back to our norm.
However, now I'm a junior and I feel like there's a third expectation that needs to be shattered. There's a pair of baby blue eyes that's always following me, watching my every move. Once I noticed, I instantly felt regret for not explaining why I wouldn't date Mikasa even if I were to be straight. Armin may be my baby, but he's not my baby.
The thing about Armin is that he's cute, so fucking adorable. His blue eyes are huge and full of innocence. His skin is fair and soft like cotton. His nose fits perfectly with the term "cute as a button," because it's so tiny. He's short and soft spoken. He's an intellectual that only speaks with those pretty pink lips when he needs to. When he argues, he always has a valid point. He's such a perfect candidate for a boyfriend.
But the thing is, as much as I love Armin, I also hate him. Even if I was okay with dating a long time friend that I see as a sibling, I can't date Armin. He's not my type. He's everything I want to be.
Cute.
I want to be small and adorable. I'm so fucking petty that I hate Armin for being able to be just that. It's not my fault that I don't want to hold someone and that I want to be held by someone else. But the thing is, no one thinks that the star soccer player wants to be held. No. It's expected for me to take initiative and all that bullshit.
So yea, I'm ready for the third awkward conversation. I'm going to have to start preparing myself, because it looks like it's going to be every year that I have to break someone's heart. Even though I lowkey hate Armin, I really do love him. He's my blonde baby.
"Hey, Eren, what are you doing this weekend?" Armin asks, pulling me away from my thoughts.
"I don't know, probably gonna catch up on homework and shit. I don't wanna fall behind in the beginning of the year just cuz the season is starting," I reply and I twist my pencil around my fingers.
"Oh, well, if you have time, we should catch a movie," Armin says, casually. Ugh, what is with people asking each other out casually? Is it because they're trying to hint at me that they want me to outright ask them out?
"Yea, sure. We'll see," I smile as I turn my focus to my textbook, ending the conversation. Ah, that's right, I have to read this. Amino acids, why must you be a part of biology?
As soon as the bell rings, I stand up with my backpack, startling Armin. I say, "Sorry, Ar. I gotta go to practice. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Ah, wait, Eren," Armin calls before I can turn away. I stare at him, waiting for him to continue. He blushes lightly, and averts his eyes. "Can I… come watch you practice?"
Oh… he's a little more assertive than I thought. Where did this Armin come from? I thought I could ignore this problem a bit longer, but I guess not. I crane my neck, trying to come up with an excuse. All the words I know rushes through my brain, but I can't form a sentence worth saying. I can't find an excuse.
"I guess, but it'll probably be boring," I say.
"That's okay! I'll see you out on the field," Armin smiles with sparkling eyes.
"Alright," I nod before taking my leave.
Fuck. I don't want him to come. Damn me and my less eloquent ways. I have no valid reason to tell Armin not to come.
Following the flow of the herd, I make my way to my locker. It's small and green, the school's official color. I waited for the person below me to finish up with their locker. He's a junior like me and is on the student council. Speaking of which, doesn't Armin have student council? Why is he coming to see me?
With a slam, the bottom locker closes. The ash blond boy stands up and apologizes, "Sorry for the wait."
"No, Farlan, it's okay. I'm pretty sure student council is more important than soccer," I chuckle. "Especially with Brzenska as supervisor."
"Yea, she can be a hardass," Farlan laughs as he starts walking away. "Have fun at practice."
"See you later," I say as I step forward towards my locker.
After doing my combination, I pop the door open. If anyone ever paid attention to my locker, they would be shocked by how much I decorated it. I mean, I can't help it. These seashell magnets are cute. I have mirror, because it was on sale and my locker looked a little bare without it. I have a nice little aqua colored rug. At the top is my itty bitty ribbon chandelier. It has baby fishes and starfishes. It's like my locker is under the sea. Although, I do hate Ariel. If she were my daughter, she would be getting her butt whooped. Yea, anyways, no one can come see my locker. I'm very thankful that my locker is nowhere near anyone I'm close to.
I pack every book I need for the weekend into my backpack, leaving the others lined up in my locker. Slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I shut my locker before walking towards the soccer field.
Upon entering the changing room, I greet my teammates as I go to my designated locker. I put my backpack in it and grab my gym bag. The thing about being gay is that it's a little awkward changing in front of guys. I mean, seriously, it's difficult trying to not develop a hard on when watching guys change. However, if I changed in the bathroom, that's questionable behavior. I'm not saying that I find these guys attractive, it's just that muscles are hot. Even if I can't form abs and lose some of my baby fat, other guys can. I definitely can't develop those thick arms. I guess I really am just a soccer boy.
"Hey, Eren, coach said to start with laps today. Three times around the campus," Jean tells me.
"Alright," I say as I peel off my shirt and, no, I do not miss the sight of Jean checking me out before walking away.
When I came out at the lunch table, Jean, and his best friend, Marco, were there to witness it. The next day, Jean came up to me and told me that he was he was bi-curious. I'm pretty sure that he's no longer just curious. For a while, I was interested in Jean, and I'm really disappointed in myself that. When it comes down to it, I just don't think Jean is anywhere near what I want for a boyfriend. I suppose since I'm gay, I should cut my losses, but fuck that. If girls can wait for Mr. Right, then so can I. I am a supporter of equal rights. That's right, if I have to, I'll punch a girl.
After slipping into my work out attire, I run out to the field. Coach Kenny is giving me the mad dog look, because he apparently can't function without looking constipated. He said it himself. I shift my gaze towards the other field and see a bunch of cheerleaders chatting away. Oh yea, I suppose that the tryouts for cheerleaders are done. My eyes stop for a moment when I see pants in a horde of skirts. My eyes travel up those legs, and... huh? Weird. I didn't know that the cheerleaders have a male cheerleader. And holy shit, he's packing. I turn away when I feel the cheerleaders take notice of me. Embarrassed, I quickly join my teammates running along the school campus.
Hmm… he's pretty short. He's shorter than Armin, which is a hard task to accomplish. Is he a freshman? God, that was so rude. Note to self, when, and if, meeting the male cheerleader, do not comment on his height.
"Yo, Jaeger! Would be nice if you left la la land," a male voice pulls me out of my thoughts as he pushes me away from an incoming pole.
"Gah… thanks, but you didn't have to push so hard," I complain as I side glance to my friend, our team's goalie, Kuklo.
"You obviously weren't listening," Kuklo rolls his brown eyes.
"Ja," I say in a German accent. "I was too busy thinking about the superior race."
"Yea," Kuklo chuckles. "Superior race, huh? How's that going for you, Mister Not So Blonde, Blue Eyes?"
"Not good," I laugh. "I can't decide which gas to use."
"Stop making holocaust jokes. Someone is gonna kick your ass one day," Kuklo laughs along with me. "You're lucky it isn't me."
Because Kuklo is Jewish. He's my best Jewish friend. Full disclosure, he's my only Jewish friend, but he's still the best. He's the closest friend I have in high school. I mean, other than Mikasa and Armin. We bonded over training camp during our freshman year. We shared a tent with a guy who passed way too much gas during his sleep. I might sound like an ass, but seriously, I could not breath. We both had to leave to sanitize ourselves from the lingering smell on us.
Despite how close I am to Kuklo, he has yet to join my table for lunch. Mikasa says that there's too many people at the table for Kuklo to come, so he can stay with his own friends. To which Kuklo claims is an act of anti-semitism. Lowkey, I have to agree because he's my best Jew. Honestly, I'm pretty sure Mikasa only said that because Armin feels threatened by our relationship. Which is a joke, because Kuklo is straight as an arrow and I have a thing where I stop myself from thinking about having relationships with straight men. However, it's okay, because despite the hardships, we'll get through it together. Our friendship will prevail. Insert crying emoji.
"Bro, you're free this weekend, right?" Kuklo asks as we make a turn around the corner.
"Um… yea. Why?" I say. I suppose I can skip my date, not date, with Armin. Well… I wasn't going to go anyways.
"Because I snagged us two tickets to see Imagine Dragons this Saturday!" Kuklo exclaims.
I gasp and then do a double take. Because did I just hear him correctly? I look to my best Jew for a sign but he's just waiting for me to react. Jesus, I'm going to combust with excitement.
"Fuck! Are you fucking for real?! I thought they sold out or were too expensive or whatever the fuck you said before!" I practically scream in a rush.
"I said both, but some people returned their tickets and because the show is this week, the price went down," Kuklo explains. "So, I take it that you're coming with me?"
"Fuck yea! Firebreathers in the house!" I yell.
"This weekend is gonna be fucking awesome," Kuklo proclaims as we run up the field.
"Yea. Thank you so much for thinking of me when it involved Dan Reynolds," I sarcastically express my gratitude as we gather around the group of stretching bodies.
"Well, yea. I know that Dan Reynolds is your highest priority. As your best friend, I obviously know that. Yea, that's right, I expect to be promoted to best friend for this," Kuklo announces as we start stretching.
"Bruh, you is the best there ever is," I reply in broken English as I playfully bow.
"Alright, you little turds!" Coach Kenny screeches, causing everyone to rush to line up. "Our next game is next Thursday. Since most of you opted out of summer practice, I'm going to have to whip you all into shape! Unless you're dying in the hospital, I better not hear any one of you complain!"
"Yessir!" We answer, straightening our postures.
"Alright, split up into two teams and get your asses into position!" Kenny yells. "Except for you two, Jaeger and Munsell. Come here!"
Kuklo and I exchange glances, seeing if the other knew what's going on. We shrug and make our way past the team to Coach Kenny. We lined up and give two very poor excuses of salutes to humour our coach.
"Yessir?" We simultaneously ask.
"You two brats," Kenny grimaces as he glares at our salutes. He hands me a soccer ball. "Head to the other field and practice passes for counter attacks and strategies for breakaways."
"The other field? The cheerleaders have already claimed that area though," I point out.
"I can see that, Jaeger," Coach rolls his eyes. "But as I recall, cheerleaders don't actually have to be on the sports field to practice. They just need grass."
"Okay. I'll tell Coach Reiss you said that if she questions us," I smile as Coach purses his lips. I can hear Kuklo chuckling to himself.
"Whatever. Just get going," Coach Kenny sighs.
"Yessir!" We exclaim as start making our way to the other field.
I don't know the full story, but Coach Kenny knows Coach Reiss's grandfather. Something about being whipped into a presentable man. Anyways, he knows Coach Reiss and he's afraid of her.
We run across the field, approaching the cheerleaders. Most of the girls turn to look at us, their eyes traveling up and down our bodies. God, these girls should at least show some shame, because I am not a piece of meat. I'm not even eyeing their new male cheerleader, because I can restrain myself.
"Wait, Coach said to practice counter attacks… so like, do we need a third or fourth person to play the other team?" Kuklo questions.
"Do we really need to do that?" I ask back.
"I don't know. It makes it feel more real," Kuklo shrugs as he glances back to the team. "Ah, but, they already started. Can't pull out people now."
"Then let's just do breakaways first," I suggest.
"Yea, that works for me," Kuklo nods.
"Can we play our music over here or do cheerleaders need music to practice? Because I need to get my Dan Reynolds on," I say.
"Alright, then, I'll ask Sharle if that's okay," Kuklo huffs out a breathless laugh before running off to find the cheerleading captain.
I roll my eyes, because it is so obvious that he's crushing on Sharle. The person he should be talking to is Coach Reiss, not Sharle. I wholeheartedly support his crush, because Sharle is basically an angel. No, seriously. I was just talking to Kuklo like any other day and then when he left, Sharle asked me if everything was okay. That was the day after my parents went off on me when I told them I don't want to be a doctor. She notices every little detail. I wouldn't be surprised if she has already figured out that I'm gay.
I glance around, absentmindedly rolling the soccer ball in my hands. I know that we can ask the cheerleaders to help us if they're free, but asking for two enabled bodies from a group of three or more people is awkward. They will lowkey give you the stink eye for breaking up their moment. Then they choose the people they like the least to go, causing a rift in their relationship. No. My imagination is not running wild. High schoolers are savages and I'd rather not deal with it. The shit they do when they just don't like you.
I relax my fingers, letting the ball roll off my fingers. It falls with a thud and I put my foot on it. I roll the ball under my foot, feeling for my soccer sense. Then I'm dribbling to the less crowded net, passing the cheerleaders. As I wait, because I know that Kuklo will be taking his sweet ass time, I start juggling the ball.
The thing about ball juggling is that it's fucking hard. It took me a year of constant practice (I had to fucking get it right because it's so goddamn cool to do it) to get it down. Now my control is on par with our midfielder. Not only that, I know exactly how my body is shaped. The flattest part part of my body (when angled correctly) is the front of my ankle. Too bad that using it is too weird when juggling. I make do with my imperfect bumpy sides.
Then I hear it. Them drums. It's always the drums with Imagine Dragons. I turn to see Kuklo running towards me with a huge ass smile. He points up to where the sound is coming from. I shake my head, but I'm also smiling. It's a dream come true because Coach Kenny never lets us play music during practice. He's too old school for that.
I hit the ball up higher with my knee, and then I lift my body. With perfect timing, I kick the ball with the music. Kuklo catches it easily as it went straight for him in the crowd of cheerleaders.
"Oh ooo!" I sing along. "The master of my sea. Oh ooo!"
Kuklo throws the ball up and punches it right back to me. I puff up my chest, letting the ball hit me. Once it falls to the ground, I'm dribbling the ball around to follow Dan Reynolds' basically rap part. Hey man, if I can't sing fast enough to keep up, I consider that shit at least a form of rap. As Kuklo approaches me, I pass him the ball with a back kick.
"Best friend status, right?" Kuklo smirks.
"Oh my god, I already said yes to that. Drop it already," I laugh.
"Alright then," Kuklo smiles with his eyes looking upwards and a slight shake to his head.
"Speaking of Believer, you know, I was listening to the album last night and like… Why is Believer track number three?" I ask.
"I don't know," Kuklo asks with a roll of his eyes. Because he knows my Idiot Logic is coming up. "Why does that bother you?"
"Because the first line is literally 'first things first,' so shouldn't it be track one?" I disclose. "If they did it that way, I would totally be mind blown."
"You are like, the dumbest person on Earth," Kuklo giggles.
"Oh fuck you," I laugh.
"Oi! You two brats better start practicing!" Coach Kenny screams from across the fields.
"YESSIR!" We scream back.
"Can't ever have nice things with him around," Kuklo jokes with a roll of his eyes.
"We probably could if you got the shit out him," I laugh.
"Disgusting, dude," Kuklo laughs as he hands me the ball.
"Hey! He's the one that said that he's constantly constipated," I say.
"He did not say it like that," Kuklo retorts before running to the man the net.
Letting the ball drop, once again, I place my foot on it. I point to my newly crowned best friend. I shout, "Today, I'm kicking your ass. Best out of ten."
"Yea, right, Jaeger," Kuklo smirks. "Just don't cry this time."
I purse my lips, because we do not talk about that anymore. I yell, "You're going down Munsell!"
The thing about Kuklo is that he's actually talented as a goalie. He's aiming to play in the professional world, and I'm not. Out of everyone on the team, I can see Kuklo going pro. I'm positive that Coach Kenny feels the same, which is why he's harsh as fuck towards Kuklo when it comes to training and taking care of his body. I can feel the favoritism, but that favoritism is well earned. However, because he trusts Kuklo, he usually lets up practice by ourselves.
So to clarify, when I said "best out of ten," I really just mean that I get ten chances to score a point. So far, I'm losing. I only have one more chance now.
I dribble the ball around the perimeter of the net, as I try to think of what to do. Kuklo is staring me down like I'm his prey. He's like a titan, ready to beat down my lowly human self. Fuck, I don't know what to do. I used up every cheap trick up my sleeve, because, really, that's the only way I'm ever going to win.
My thoughts are interrupted when I notice what song is playing overhead. I school my face before I can smile, because I can't fuck up. This just might be the day I get to beat him. As the chorus starts up, I rush the net.
A son of a… stepfather. I run to his left, his non dominant side. No matter how much he covers it, it's still his weak side.
A son of a… I'm so sorry. I kick quickly kick the ball, forcing Kuklo to block it with an open a hand instead of catching it. It slams down to the ground near him. He reaches to grab it.
A son of a… stepfather. I run up to his face, preparing myself for the next attack. He looks at me with curiosity, because I never do dangerous plays.
A son of a…
"I'M SO SORRY!" I scream with an overly dramatic face. I even put in two jazz hands.
"What the fuck?" Kuklo breathes out with an amused face.
Alright. Mission accomplished. Taking advantage of his moment of weakness, I kick the ball out of his hands, getting possession of the ball. I pull back a little, getting room for myself. I kick up the ball and kick it towards Kuklo's shocked face. Well, not at it, but close enough. I smirk at him with victory.
Except I don't win. Regaining his composure, Kuklo steps back and punches the shit out of the ball. I duck, because there was no way I was going to be able to stop that. The ball flies past me and lands near the cheerleaders. Holy shit, I guess that's how we're going to start our counter attacks. But goddamn-
"Are you trying to kill me?!" I screech.
"Haha, shit, sorry, Eren. You didn't get hurt, so it's all good, right?" Kuklo laughs. "I guess that means that you lose again."
"Wha-? Fuck! Damn it! It was so close too!" I whine.
"I will admit that was good. You almost got me," Kuklo says.
"Don't flatter me," I pout.
"No, seriously. You should practice dangerous plays this year," Kuklo suggests.
"I suppose," I huff in defeat. "I'll get the ball."
"Alright," Kuklo snickers. "Try to water down the salt before you come back."
"Fuck off," I laugh.
I turn away and start running to the cheerleaders. They're standing around and coversing, so they must be taking a break. I search for the ball in the sea of green skirts, and I find it in the middle. Jesus, do none of them have any manners? They could at least pick up the ball for me. High schoolers these days are so rude. I may be a high schooler as well, but I like to think that I have some manners.
I run up to the ball and stop to see a skirt and… pants! The pants boy leans down to grab the ball. I slowly approach them and both cheerleaders turn to look at me. He may be short, but he has some thick arms. Hot damn, he has a sharp fucking jaw. His sweaty black hair falls upon his pale face messily. His eyes are light grey. It's a smokey color, because he's too fucking hot.
Alright, Eren, act like your normal self.
"Hey, it's the cute soccer boy," the male cheerleader comments in a deep baritone voice. Is his voice dark chocolate? Because that's how smooth and deep it sounds.
Say what?
"Uh… umm…" What the fuck am I doing here again?
"Lee, I'm pretty sure you broke him," the other cheerleader says. I turn to look at her and note that she's a redhead.
"Well, you know me. I don't do subtle," the male cheerleader shrugs his shoulders. "You need your ball?"
Ahhhh. That's why I'm here.
"Y-yes," I answer as I hold out my hands. So much for acting normal,
"Sorry, Jaeger, that's just what all the cheerleaders call you. 'Cute soccer boy,'" the male cheerleader chuckles.
"Jaeger? How do you… know my name?" I nervously ask.
"Who doesn't know Eren Jaeger, the only forward on the team that can score a point?" The male cheerleader rolls his eyes.
"Oh… well, I guess that's true," I nod in understanding. "So… what's your name?"
The male cheerleader observes me with one raised eyebrow. My face heats up, because who isn't embarrassed when someone looks at them so out in the open. Then I realized my mistake. I only asked for his name, and not the other cheerleader next to him. God, that's fucking awkward.
"You too!" I quickly say. "What's your name?! I've seen you around, but I never got your name!"
"Pfft," the redhead girl laughs. "I'm Isabel."
"Oh okay, it's nice to meet you, Isabel," I say and then turn to look at the boy. I wait for him to introduce himself.
"I'm Levi," he chuckles again.
I hope to whatever being there is that I am not blushing, because I think I almost died. His chuckles are so fucking… Jesus, I feel like I've turn into jelly. I'm just a jelly Eren now.
"It's nice to meet you too, Levi," I say.
"I have to say, I agree with the other cheerleaders," Levi says.
"What?" I ask. Did he just call me cute again? Am I cute?
I turn my head when I hear a whistle.
"Our break is over," Levi tells me with a smirk. "I'll see you around, cute soccer boy."
"Bye!" Isabel waves at me.
"Oh, ok. Bye," I say, before running back to Kuklo.
Fuck… he called me cute. My cheeks are so hot. I hope it just looks red from exhaustion.
Once I reach back to my Jewish friend, I tell him about Levi. He tells me (he heard from Sharle) that Levi is a junior that transferred this year. Coach Reiss was ecstatic when he joined the cheerleaders. She's been trying to recruit a male cheerleader the past couple of years.
After that, I tried my best to stay focus on practice until it ends. Kuklo runs to get his phone. I whine to him, because Thunder is on now, but alas, he needs his phone. To make myself feel better, I dance as I strut across the field. I need to relish the miraculous moments when I get to blast Imagine Dragons for the whole world to see their overflowing talents.
"Eren!" Hearing my name, I stop my strut.
I turn around to see Armin waving at me from the bleachers. Oh yea… he's suppose to come see me. Damn it, Ar. It was getting to the best part of the song too. Once again, insert crying emoji. Nevertheless, I jog my way to him. I can't make my blonde baby wait.
Once I reach Armin, the music stops and I can't tell if it's a coincidence or fate telling me that Armin is just not for me.
"What's up, Ar?" I ask. I'm panting, like I lose my breath everytime I see Armin. Which is so wrong, because I'm just tired as fuck.
"I came in earlier, and I just wanted to say that you're really good. It's been a while since I've seen you play," Armin says.
That's it? That's all you wanted to say? Armin, I love you, but practice is hard and I am like going to die pretty soon. I could be in the locker room, bonding with my teammates, because every team needs a flourishing positive rapport. As co-captains, Kuklo and I have decided to get to know our teammates more.
"Yea, it has been a while since you've came to one of the games," I say instead. I turn to see Levi and Isabel walking up the bleachers to… Farlan? Oh, so they know each other?
"Oh yea, I made something to snack on for myself, but I ended up not eating it. If you're hungry, would you like to eat?" Armin asks as puts his backpack down to pull out whatever it is he prepared.
Then I feel my Idiot Logic coming. If I say yes to this, then that means that I accept whatever it is he's feeling. It also means it could be the start of a routine, which leads to comfortability. Which means, Armin will be expecting me to date him, which I will cave in to. Then I won't ever break up with him, because at that point, how could I hurt one of my best friends when I could had prevented it earlier? Then I'll end up marrying him and never be able to leave the relationship, because, although I am not Christian, I don't believe in divorces. If you love someone enough to marry them, then you should already pick the right person to begin with. However, Armin isn't the right person for me. Which just means, I won't ever be happy. That is, if I accept this "snack" that which Armin has prepared for himself, but we all know that's a fucking lie. I'm not fucking paranoid. I can see all the healthy sportsy nutrition food. Banana bread? Lemon water? Nah, Armin, you ain't slick.
"Nah, I'm good for now," I say before Armin can open up anything.
"Oh… alright then," Armin blushes as quickly puts it away. "So, what movie should we watch this weekend?"
"Oh yea, about that… I can't go," I break it to him. "Kuklo and I made plans to go somewhere. Then on Sunday, I have to do my homework. Sorry. I know you were looking forward to it."
"What? No! No, it's alright, Eren. We'll just go next time," Armin smiles as he reassures me.
However, I can see his eyes welling up with tears. I'm about to comfort him, but then another case of Idiot Logic hits me. If I comment on his tears, that means that I understand how Armin feels. It shows that I am sympathetic, so it will give Armin the leeway to cry to me. Which would make me feel guilty. I would change my mind for him since he's my blonde baby. But that… would mean: no Dan Reynolds. Fuck, Armin, you're dangerous. I want to comfort you, but there's more than a fifty percent chance that I'll be hanging out with you this weekend if I did. Just notice that I won't ever like you back, so I can stop being so paranoid around you.
"If you're sure, then okay. I gotta go," I say with a wave.
"Alright, bye. I'll see you tomorrow," Armin croaks out.
Fuck. I feel like an ass. Am I horrible for not liking a person back? I didn't feel this bad when it was Mikasa pining after me. I don't know. It's probably just his baby blue eyes that get to me.
I make my way down the bleachers. I turn to wave at Levi, Farlan, and Isabel. I say, "Bye guys. Be safe heading home."
"Will do," Farlan says. "See ya, Eren. You be safe too."
"Okay, mom, byes," Isabel giggles.
"Bye, cute soccer boy," Levi smirks.
"Y-yea," I reply.
Fuck. I'm so fucked.
Thanks for reading. As per usual, you are all loved! :D
"Idiot Logic" is a placeholder for now.
As for my other stories. I'm probably not going to do any of them or requests for a long while. The only one that I will continue to work on is Being Alive. There's also another story I want to try writing out (but be warned because it has a lot of mature concepts). I apologize to everyone who has been patiently waiting. I'm not going to write an author's note any of them, because I think they give too much hope to readers and then destroys it.