Out of Reach
"Meatloaf… Meatloaf…" Asher muttered angrily under his breath, on his way home, driving faster than allowed. How dare he call him that! Asher would show him! And Frank, eye candy? Frank! Of all people…. A small voice irked him, saying things like jealousy and why exactly did he care so much? Asher most certainly did not want to think about that. He quickly decided to shift his focus to Bonnie… Blond Bonnie… She seemed nearly as unobtainable as Connor though… Asher almost didn't catch the red traffic light thinking that particular thought and had to hit his breaks violently.
Asher seemed to have a thing for difficult conquests… It was his curse… He could quite easily get, well, the easier girls, but somehow that was never truly satisfying. The ones he really wanted to be with were always so far out of reach though… Like Bonnie, for instance…. Cold as an ice cube, which only piqued his interests, and so mysterious and aloof…. Much like…. the C -word.
He, on the other hand, carried his heart on a plate. His opinions were known to the entire world… Although… maybe not all of them… Sometimes he was drawn to other men… He'd soon learnt not to voice that to the world. Asher had once asked his mother—when they were admiring his older sister's prom dress— if a guy could also take another guy to the prom and both she and his sister had firmly told him NO! All that year he had been eyeing the new boy in his class, with his longish brown curls and dark mysterious eyes.
His family's answer sure correlated with that of the rest of his world. The few openly gay and bi people that he knew did not have easy lives… Asher knew what he wanted out of life and that sure wasn't it! Too much trouble for sure… And so it stayed at longing… Irksome, irritating feelings… Creeping up on him when he least expected it.
Before he met Connor, it had been quite a while since he thought of men in that way: there had been this other frat bro in the beginning of his senior year, haunting his dreams, but that was ages ago already…. Asher had firmly believed he had gotten over it, grown out of it. And he had secretly been relieved. Solely chicks for him, thank you very much…
Until he had laid eyes on him…. The moment he saw him, Asher knew he was lost… again! And as if just seeing him wasn't enough, he had to end up in the same group! Asher had hoped to just see the guy in class, ignoring him as much as he could, but no…. they had to see each other nearly every day!
And… and he had to listen to his insults! It was almost unbearable… Connor sure knew how to get him all riled up though, and did so all the ff-ing time… Asher tried to brush it all off as well as he could, succeeding mostly he thought… Yet… Sometimes when he would look at him, it felt as if C knew all his secrets and could see straight through him. Penetrate his soul… Asher shivered involuntary.
He was relieved when he turned into his street. Home again… Hopefully he would have a peaceful, C-free night….