A/N: I mentioned in "The Potion Mistress and her Idiot" that I was slowing updates down so that I could work on a few other fics. And then I proceeded not to do those fics, and sat there twiddling my thumbs while trying to get the two longest chapters I've ever written out. So I decided to finally get started with one of my ideas. Here it is.
"So, Professor Ursula," Akko began eagerly, as the two sat inside Ursula's tower, going over material Akko needed to work on if she wanted to catch up with the other students. While she was leaps and bounds better than she was before, Akko had been prioritizing looking for the Seven Words of Arcturus over her study time and her grades were taking another dip. "Since you went to school with Chariot, and you were close enough that she told you about the Words of Arcturus, and the Shiny Rod, that must mean you know a whole lot about her, right?"
Ursula tensed up, like she always did when Akko brought up Chariot. She wasn't exactly the smoothest actor in the world, ironic enough for an ex-performer, and it always threw her off when she was essentially talking about herself while pretending to be someone else. "Well, I suppose! Depends on what kind of things you'd want to know. She, uh, didn't share everything with me, since we weren't that close."
"Oh, come on, don't be modest! She must have told you everything if she trusted you with what she was doing with the Shiny Rod!" Akko beamed at her teacher in the way only someone like Akko could. "But my question should be easy enough to answer!"
Ursula smiled back, intertwining her fingers together. "Well, I suppose I could answer a few more of your questions..."
"Alright!" Akko cheered, then leaned in close. "Okay, this is going to sound really weird, but... was Chariot into girls? Did she ever have a girlfriend at Luna Nova?"
Ursula blanched. Akko wanted to know about Chariot's love life, of all things? Her thoughts went to Croix, back when the two had been much younger, and fought off a blush. Yes, Chariot had been very gay during her time at Luna Nova. "W-why do you ask, Akko?" she tried to deflect, rather than give a straightforward answer.
"I just really want to know!" Akko insisted.
"Well, uh, I, that is to say... " Akko probably was having some issues about her own sexuality, especially in an all girls school. She would probably take some comfort in knowing her idol and childhood icon was also gay, so she supposed there was no harm in sharing. "Yes, Chariot was a lesbian, and she dated a few girls during her time at school." She answered.
"Yes!" Akko cheered. Ursula breathed a sigh of relief. She had guessed right, Akko just wanted to find some comfort in knowing someone she looked up to was also a lesbian. "So I totally have a shot, right?" Wait, what?
She must have said that last part out loud, as Akko looked a little sheepish. "Sucy and Lotte think it's kind of silly... well, Lotte thinks it's silly, Sucy thinks it's stupid, that I... maybe, sorta have a huge crush on Shiny Chariot." Akko admitted. "And, I have the Shiny Rod, so I know I'll get the chance to meet her some day! A-and there isn't THAT big of an age gap, she's only, like, nine years or so older than I am, so it's not like she's ancient or something." Akko got a dreamy look on her face. "I mean, witches live loads longer than regular people do, so what's a decade or so between star crossed lovers, right?"
Oh dear. "A-Akko, I think maybe you should calm down." Ursula tried. "I'm sure Chariot will be delighted to meet you, but you shouldn't get your hopes up, I mean, she doesn't even really know you!"
Akko nodded, "I know, and I don't expect her to fall for me instantly(though she could, I mean, I'm me!), but once I find all the Seven Words, I know she'll be impressed! And we can talk about both of our adventures in finding them! And we'll be great friends, and I'll give her the Shiny Rod, and be like "I was holding onto this for you!" And she'll be all "Oh, Akko, you're just the coolest and sweetest!" and the more we hang out, the more she'll see just how great a catch I am!" Akko was now standing on her chair, gesturing wildly as she recreated the scene she had in her head, complete with a rather silly voice for Chariot that didn't match what she sounded like at all.
… Ursula didn't sound like that, did she? Oh no, now she was feeling even more self conscious!
"Now, Akko, I don't want to stomp all over your dreams-" The Professor began face as red as her hair would normally be if not for the enchantment turning it blue.
Akko stopped her gesturing to look at the professor, suddenly going quiet. "Hehe, oh. Yeah, I guess you probably think I'm being weird. I-I mean what kind of chance do I have with someone as great as Chariot?"
"T-that's not what I was going to say, Akko." Ursula stood, and placed a hand on Akko's shoulder. Not an easy task when Akko was still standing on her chair. "Chariot would be lucky to have you." She should probably shut up before she made this worse. "Any girl would be lucky to have you, really!" Okay, she needed to shut up now. She hated stomping all over Akko's feelings, but she needed to put a stop to this. Let her down easy, dammit!
"Do you really think so?" Akko asked.
Say no. Or suggest maybe she should try dating girls her own age. "I'm absolutely sure." Noooo! Curse her inability to say anything that could mildly upset this girl!
Akko cheered. "Oh, wow! Thanks for believing so much in me, Professor! My friends always poke fun at me, but I'm glad you listened!"
Akko then began a long rant about how amazing Chariot was, how her body was as hot as the color of her fiery hair, all while Ursula sat in her chair, hands on her knees trying not to have a nervous breakdown. It all made so much sense now. Her constant droning on about Chariot. The obsession with trading cards and memorabilia, the poster she hung up next to her bed so Chariot's face would be the last thing she saw before she drifted off to sleep.
Ursula shivered at the creepy thought. She was never going to be able to show her face around here again, much less reveal who she really was to Akko.
A/N: And now we have the real reason as to why Ursula waited so long to tell Akko who she was. And no, Chariot doesn't return Akko's feelings. Have you ever had someone you just can't say no to, because you feel like it'll crush them and you can't emotionally stand the idea of being the one to crush them? That's Ursula right about now!
This came from the idea that Akko has the hots for Chariot, but funnily enough, just sees Ursula as her rather plain teacher. This was actually inspired from a joke in the Megaman Starforce series, in which a character named Luna has a huge crush on Megaman, but feels nothing for his civilian identity, Geo. Oh, and she knows Geo is Megaman by the time of this joke, which just makes it funnier.
I assume Chariot is 26-28. Croix graduated in 2008 and was a year ahead, so Chariot graduated 2009. Lets be generous and say she was 18 when she graduated(I was 17), and lets also assume that the show takes place 2016-2017-ish. That's 8 years, making Ursula only about 26-27 by my math.