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Douse Me With Your Fire
"I don't rise from the ashes. I make them. I'm the whole fucking fire."
-Eric Van Vuren
The fire around them builds taller and taller, hotter and hotter, and he doesn't think they can get out of it anymore. They're trapped inside a house of fire, and if he can't get her out of here alive, he'll have failed at everything he promised her he would do. He promised her that he'd keep her alive, he promised that he'd keep her safe.
"Jace!" she screams. He turns around, and for a moment he's amazed at how beautiful she is, even with death spiraling around them. She stands in a tattered tank top, runes littering her arms like tattoos. Her black jeans are ripped at the thigh, and he can see the scab from a cut forming. Her black combat boots blend in with the ash on the floor under them. Her hair- God, her hair- is blending in with the fire, and he can't tell what is which. He's lost in her beauty, and that's when he realizes it.
Fighting alongside her was never a danger to his life. Jumping in front of her to keep her alive was never dangerous either. It was loving her.
Loving her was the most dangerous thing he could've done.
The second explosion hits.
"Are you fucking stupid?" she screams, punching his chest. The armor between his body and his shirt keep any type of pain from getting to him, but she still hits him with all her power. "What is your problem? I told you to stay away!"
Jace Herondale shoves her back, tired of her incessant fighting. "Damn it, Clary, I was trying to keep you alive!"
She runs at him again, this time barreling her shoulder into his chest. He loses balance and falls against the line of dummies behind him, knocking all of them down like a set of Dominos. They're fighting in the training room; a place their entire relationship seems to unfold in. The good, the bad, the sex, the fights- it all seems to take place in the training room.
"You can pick it up," Clary snarls, turning around. I don't think so, he thinks to himself.
Jace grabs her arm and yanks her towards him. If they'd been regular human beings, his grip on her arm would've left bruises and his strength would've pulled her arm out of her socket. But because they're Shadowhunters with unlimited amount of runes drawn on their bodies, they have higher levels of endurance.
"Jace!" she shrieks, raising her hand to slap his face. His free hand grips her hand, his other one still on her other wrist.
"Will you stop?" he says, pulling her into him. They're both angry, both fueled with hatred and love and lust for the other one. "You are throwing temper tantrums simply because Valentine and Maryse won't let you-"
Her eyes snap and he can see the anger in them. She struggles against Jace, turning this way and that to get him to let go of her. "Don't fucking-"
"Clary," he tries, swallowing his irritation and anger to try and talk to her calmly. She keeps flailing around, so he takes measures to the extreme, spinning them around and throwing her against the wall.
He grabs her face, taking her cheeks in his palms. She almost immediately calms, her hands coming to rest on his wrists and her eyes shutting. She starts to breathe steadily; in and out, in and out, in and out.
"Stop," he says, quietly. He takes a step closer to her, leaning down so he can whisper in her ear. "I love you."
"Don't," she begs, and he tries to ignore how broken her voice sounds. "I don't need you jumping in the Portal to save me every time I go on my own. I'm nineteen, I can handle myself."
"Can you?" Jace's forehead rests on hers. "You run into the Portal every chance you get just to prove to everyone that you can handle every demon that comes your way, just so you can go on this quest. They're not basing who goes off of how many demons we can kill, how many runes we can draw, or how many fights we can win. It's about who will go and come back alive."
She bites her lip, squeezing his wrists. "I don't want you to go without me."
His frustration with her is gone; she has a way with her vulnerability. An ounce of it will make him feel nothing but protection for her. "Don't worry about me," he whispers, pressing his lips to her temple. "I'll come back to you."
"I'm going with you," she mumbles. "I'm going with all of you."
Jace lets the pad of his thumb graze her cheekbone. "I can't let you do that." She rolls her eyes, but before she can put her two cents in, he plows on. "I love you, I'm not going to put you in danger like that. This mission isn't safe, and I can't handle you being hurt. If I had it my way, I'd want you to come. But I'm not going to let you be hurt, or put in harm's way."
"Stop looking at me like a weak little girl." Clary shoves his hands away. "I am Clarissa Fray, I've handled the worst of the worst and I'm still here. I don't understand why you think you're here to protect me. Protect yourself."
Anger flashes inside of him. He hates when she throws that in his face, as if he's incapable of taking care of himself. "Shut the hell up," he snaps. "You act like you're five, then you wonder why you can't ever leave the damn Institution."
Clary glares at him; to a certain extent, she knows he's right. But she won't give him the satisfaction (or swallow her pride) of admitting it. Balling her hands into fists, she begins to buzz with anger. Some at herself, more at him. "You're an asshole."
"At least I act my age," he throws back. "Which is more than you can ever say."
Clary comes at him, but he sees it coming and pins her against the wall by her wrists. They're body to body again, and neither are sure what mood they're dealing with here.
"I'm still mad at you," she whispers, her eyes flitting between his eyes and his lips. She's hoping Jace picks up on what she wants him to do.
He does. He presses his lips against hers, and they fit together like puzzle pieces. He lets go of her wrists to hold on to her sides, pulling them closer together. Their bodies are on fire; from left over anger and pure lust. She pulls him at the base of his neck, trying to get as close to him as possible. Her fingers tangle in his hair, which is getting longer and wavier by the day.
"I want you," she moans quietly, as he goes from her lips to her jawline to her neck. "Now."
"Tonight," he promises. He kisses her lips one last time before pulling away. "Dinner's in an hour. Will you be there? Or are you still mad?"
"I can handle it," she says, trying to bite back the irritation. He cares about her; she has to remember that. Taking a deep breath, she says, "I'll be fine."
"This is bullshit," Alec Lightwood is saying when Jace walks into the kitchen. "This is not what I asked for."
Isabelle rolls her eyes, sinking into one of the chairs at the long dinner table. "You can't have everything you want, Alec. This isn't like when we were kids and Mom and Dad would make us waffles for dinner. Grow up." She busies herself by turning her water into sugary sweet lemon water, pouring packet after packet of sugar into it. Jace gags.
Sulking, Alec piles the dinner of choice onto his plate; steak, mashed potatoes, and green beans. Jace, who doesn't see the problem with what's on the menu, grabs a plate and gets what Alec gets, but double.
"Hey Jace," Isabelle greets, stirring her water with a knife. "How was training?" She giggles to herself.
"Mind your own business," he says, rolling his eyes good-naturedly. They all know (minus the adults, so really, only them, Simon, Maureen, Maia, Jordan, and Sebastian know) what Jace and Clary really do in the training room. Jace and Clary, him more so than her, find it funny that even though they do more fighting in there than anything else, everyone assumes all it is is sex.
"Where is everyone?" Jace asks, his mouth full of steak before he even sits down. A piece of chewed up meat flies onto the table, and Alec voices his disgust before throwing a napkin at him.
"The boys were in the library with Hodge, I don't know where- oh, here they are." Isabelle waves at Maia and Maureen, both of whom look fresh up from a nap as they wander into the kitchen. Maia nods in response, while Maureen at least tries to wave with half enthusiasm.
"I don't know why Mom and Dad insist on having dinner at six sharp," Alec complains. "No one is ever in a dinner mood at this hour."
Maia snorts. "It's six o clock, what do you expect? I'd rather be asleep right now." She goes light on the steak and skips the green beans entirely, but piles on the mashed potatoes. Maureen goes in opposite fashion, skipping the potatoes and getting exactly three green beans, but three slices of steak.
"Damn, did you save some for the rest of us?" Clary says, walking into the kitchen. She catches Jace's eyes and raises her eyebrows, as if to say 'Can I help you with something?' He holds back a snort and goes back to eating his dinner.
Simon, Sebastian and Jordan finally join everyone else almost twenty minutes late, but none of the adults are in the kitchen to reprimand them for it. Light conversations are going on throughout the table and it's a good dinner; Isabelle, Clary, and Maureen are talking about Church and how he almost killed himself in the training room, Jace, Sebastian and Alec are flinging pieces of steak across the table, and Maia, Jordan and Simon are talking about books Hodge recommended for them. It's rare that all of them get along, but when they do, it's pretty damn nice.
"Are we doing anything after dinner?" Alec asks the main group when the conversations come to a steady lull. Usually after dinner, they head to the main room to watch movies or the training room to play games. Sometimes, they even go into the back gardens, but it's chilly that night and none of them want to deal with unnecessary cold.
"Movies?" Jace suggests, lightly nudging Clary's foot with his own. Movies means it's easier to sneak off.
"Oh yes!" Maia says, through a mouthful of mashed potatoes. "I'll make popcorn and Jordan can find candy and drinks and we can all have a movie night!"
Jordan looks at her endearingly, as does about everyone else at the table. If Maia is notorious about anything, it's her little girl tendencies.
"Okay, movie night it is," Isabelle cheers.
As everyone begins to throw around move ideas, Clary nudges Jace's foot back.
In the main room, while the kids have dinner, the adults are gathered talking about the upcoming problem.
"So are we clear who's going?" Maryse asks, quietly. The main room is right next to the kitchen, and even though every room in the Institution has been marked with runes to ensure privacy, there have been times where people that weren't mean to hear conversations have heard them.
"I still don't think it's all figured out," Valentine says, admiring the new painting on the wall. "I'm not sure how I feel about the combination of people going. I don't understand why Maureen would go but Maia wouldn't, Alec but not Isabelle, Jace but not-"
"We get it," Hodge says, rolling his eyes. Valentine's need to stretch out a point has always been a pet peeve of his. "It's because of personality traits, and compatibility levels. We can't have Maia smart-mouthing everyone, Isabelle is very irrational when it comes to logical decisions, Clary is a ticking time bomb with her emotions and her decisions, and Simon isn't hardened enough to kill."
"Yes, but how can we ensure the kids that aren't going, don't go?" Jocelyn asks, fearful that her daughter will disappear with the others in the middle of the night.
"Isn't there a tracking rune?" asks Robert, a massive cigar dangling in his mouth. It became his signature stress reliever after the First War.
Valentine shakes his head. "The Clave denied it. Violation of privacy, and 'How are we even supposed to make it work?'"
Luke sighs. "I think we should just send the ones off a day earlier then planned. It'll save the sad goodbyes and the arguments."
Everyone voices their agreements. No one hears Clary walk away from the door.
i know nothing was really revealed, i wanted to start off with a cliffhanger!
leave a review? negativity / positivity welcome!