A/N I know, another angsty songfic. Oh well. As usual, I don't own.
Sorrow
Sometimes life seems too quiet
Into paralyzing silence
Like the moonless dark
Meant to make me strong
Familiar breath of my old lies
Changed the color in my eyes
Soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by
Try as he might, Jake could never protect me from all the pain. I always had to face it at night. It had been bottled up for days now, and it all came pouring out as I curled up in a ball on my blankets in a futile attempt to hold myself together. I wished for a stronghold. Abruptly, I was reminded that I had one at one point. He was there to hold on to, to protect myself from this cruel world. Now he was the cruel world, and I had no stronghold this time. No protection.
Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hope for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As you flew right through me
Left alone with only reflections of the memory
To face the ugly girl that's smothering me
Sitting closer than my pain
He knew each tear before it came
Soon He will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by
I always knew I didn't belong next to him. The beautiful creature he was, and the painfully obviousness of me came crashing down on me as a picture swam in front of me. Him, stiffly smiling for a camera with an arm around me. I briefly wondered if he usually did this. Allowed human girls to fall in love with him, decieving them into believing he loved them too, then ripped through all that was good in their life. Probably. I remembered him telling me that his kind were easily distracted, and realised that his was probably all a distraction from his boring day-to-day routine. Pain rippled through me as I considered that probability.
Sorrow last through this night
I'll take this piece of You
And hope for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As You flew right through me
And we kiss each other one more time
And sing this lie that's halfway mine
The sword is slicing through the question
So I won't be fooled by his angel light
I still had a memory of him, but I couldn't usually bring myself to remember it. Now, however, the memories came unbidden. Our last true kiss, me in his arms, and I cried out in agony. Suddenly, I remembered a verse from Renee's religon kick. "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.(Philippians 4:8)" I dimly wondered: What you were supposed to dwell on if everything true, honorably, right, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent, and worthy of praise in your world was gone?
Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hope for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As you flew right through me
And up into the stars
He took everything good about the world with him when he sliced through me and left the shreds to attempt to put themselves back together again, to try to salvage a life from the little bits and pieces remaining. I desperately wanted unconciousness, the sleep that I so desperately needed, to take over. At least then I wouldn't be thinking up these horrors. No, the nightmares would just rampage through me, ripping the hole wide open again as I stumbled through the forest attempting to find my happiness and peace.
Joy will come
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A/N Angsty, huh? Yup, no happy ending this time. Review!