Disclaimer : I do not own Card Captor Sakura, please do not sue me. This is merely for entertainment, nothing else.
Rating : PG - 13
Warnings : Mild - language

Release My Heart

Ch.1

+ Introduction +

by Sakura Maxwell



+~+~+~+

Kinomoto Sakura laughed as she and her best friend, Daidouji Tomoyo, entered the gates of the high school they both attended.

"Sakura, but don't you think that Eriol is just cute?" Tomoyo asked dreamily, hand against her cheek. Sakura smiled and sweatdropped. "Well, I guess.. Um.. I don't know?" she answered. Tomoyo glanced at her. "You know, you don't think anyone is cute, Sakura!" she exclaimed. "The only exception was Syaoran, but you guys decided to break up `cause you both realized you only loved each other as close brother and sister!" Sakura nodded. "Well, I just don't have an interest in anyone right now.."

"Oh really?" Tomoyo asked in a tone that made Sakura nervous as they got in and went to their lockers. "I see that you're getting pretty close to Yue nowdays.." Sakura blinked as she was taking her rollerblades off. "I am?" she asked, confused. "Maybe I'm just attracted to his magic, like how Syaoran was!" She laughed. Tomoyo eyed her, not believing. "I think you like him, Sakura," she said in a serious tone. Sakura at once stopped laughing and looked down at the floor.

Tomoyo looked at Sakura with an almost sad face. "I'm right, aren't I?" she asked softly. Sakura answered back in a soft tone, "I don't know.. He's nice to me I guess.. I don't know. Maybe it's just like with Yukito. Maybe I only like him like that." Tomoyo shook her head slightly. "Well, we better get to homeroom before we're marked late," she said. Sakura blinked, the nodded. "Oh right!" she said, stuffing her blades in her locker and putting on normal shoes. "Okay," she replied, closing her locker. "Let's go."

+~+~+~+

Sakura sat down in her seat in front of Tomoyo and waited for the teacher, Ms. Takayashi, to take roll. After she was done, she told everyone to start reading, or do homework. Sakura gazed out the window, her mind wandering, unknowingly, to a certain moon guardian.
'Is Tomoyo right? Do I really like Yue? ..It can't be. How could I like Yue?! He's the total opposite of me! He's so cold and..well..mean. He still is mean and cold, even after the cards have been turned into Sakura Cards. I guess he's nicer than when I first met him, but still! He's unwilling to open up at all! How could I like him?! It's not logical.'

Tomoyo glanced over at Sakura and frowned when she saw Sakura's frustrated yet sad face. 'Sakura..' she thought sadly. 'Maybe I shouldn't have brought Yue up.. I'm certain that's what she is troubled about..' She looked back at her drawing of an outfit she had been working on. 'But she has to realize it sooner or later.. She's just too innocent to know that she indeed is in love with Yue, and that she has been ever since she met him. She doesn't know it, yet she loves him.. I hope Sakura doesn't get too frustrated with all of this, because it'll be very hard for her. Especially because Yue isn't exactly warm towards anyone.

'Yue.. He protects her, cares for her, would risk his life for her, but that's only because Sakura is his mistress.. Or is it? Maybe Yue loves Sakura also? If he does, he sure has a good way of not showing it. Actually, more like showing the opposite. I know he shuns her at other times, when she doesn't need any help, doesn't need protection, when he's just there with her. From how Sakura acts whenever I mention Yue, I know he acts as if she is nothing. Nothing compared to Clow Reed.. He himself admitted that he loved Clow Reed, that the only person that could defeat him was Clow Reed. Already, Sakura knew that Yue loved Clow Reed, and still does, even though he is gone. It's a sad story.. But can't Yue give up Clow Reed and turn to Sakura? Are they not the same? Sakura and Clow Reed, they are both happy, nice, warm people. Or from what I have heard. But then again, as Yue says he loves Clow Reed, he also acts disdainfully about him.. Once explaining to Sakura why he acted the way he does. I remember being there..'

*flashback*

"Yue," Sakura said softly as she stood in front of the moon guardian nervously, "can I ask you a question?" Yue looked down at her, those cold, disapproving eyes staring into her own nervous ones. "You may, mistress," he answered nonchantly. Sakura cringed at him calling her 'mistress', but ignored it. "Um.. Yue, why do you always act so cold? So emotionless?" she asked, looking at her feet, which shifted around nervously. All of her was nervous, afraid Yue would either forget she was his 'mistress' and kill her, or shun her even more.

Yue was quiet. After a moment of total silence, he answered slowly, "You are too naïve to understand why I act the way I do."

Sakura's eyes widened and she looked up to his cold face. "No, I am not! I am 16 years old! Please tell me, Yue! Maybe I can help you!" she insisted, desperate.

"Do you really think that you, a mere child, would understand how I feel?"

Sakura at once looked back down at her feet, wanting to cry. But she forbid herself to cry in front of Yue. 'He already thinks me as a child.. I can't cry now!' "I--I don't know.. But I want to try!" she said with weak determination.

Yue could almost smirk and laugh at her persistance. Instead, he decided to explain to her why he acted the way he always did, and see if she would be able to grasp the harsh facts of his past.

"I loved Clow Reed. He was my creator, after all. But even still, I loved him with everything I had. But he shunned me, used me, and the worst part about that is that I let him. I acted as if I didn't care, because I just wanted to be with him, I wanted him to love me. But he never did. I was hurt. Always hurting. But I had to hide it from him. I couldn't act weak in front of him, afraid that if I did, he would cast be away in disgust. So when he past away, I told myself never get close to any other person, because they will shun me and leave me alone." He looked back at Sakura and could not see her eyes because she was looking at the ground. "Do you understand why I act the way I do? Do you understand why I feel the way I do?" he asked with a bitter mocking voice. "You can't understand. You're only a child. You're too innocent and pure to understand what I feel--"

Yue stopped abruptly in surprise when Sakura grabbed his hand with her own and held it firmly. "You're right," she said, meeting his gaze. "I don't understand all of what you just told me. But I want to help anyway. I don't care if you didn't feel loved by Clow Reed. I love you. Tomoyo loves you. Yukito loves you. Everyone does! So please try to open up a little more so we all can help you, Yue."

Yue stared down at Sakura's smiling face and could see that the smile was strained. 'Inside, she's probably going over everything I told her with confusion and helplessness,' he thought with bitterness, and jerked his hand away from Sakura's grip roughly, causing her eyes to open. "Yue?"
"I wish to be alone, mistress," he said coldly. "I'm sure I've already taken enough time away from Yukito." He started to turn back. "Wait! Please, Yue!" Sakura cried out, but Yukito was already standing in place of the winged guardian.

*end flashback*

Tomoyo sighed with sadness and turned to look at Sakura. 'Poor Sakura..' she thought. 'Yue didn't even give her a chance. Didn't even let Sakura try to help.' She sighed again and went back to her design.

+~+~+~+

The final bell rang, causing Sakura to snap out of her thoughts. She grabbed her pack and stuffed her text books inside. Somehow, after Tomoyo brought up Yue, she didn't seem alive. 'But it's not Tomoyo's fault,' she thought. 'After all, she wasn't there when Yue...told me why he acted so cold..'

~ "I loved Clow Reed. He was my creator, after all. But even still, I loved him with everything I had. But he shunned me, used me, and the worst part about that is that I let him. I acted as if I didn't care, because I just wanted to be with him, I wanted him to love me. But he never did. I was hurt. Always hurting. But I had to hide it from him. I couldn't act weak in front of him, afraid that if I did, he would cast me away in disgust. So when he passed away, I told myself never get close to any other person, because they will shun me and leave me alone." ~

She shivered. 'I can't believe it. Before Yue told me that, I always thought Clow was good and fair. Kind and good-natured. But now.. Now I know I was serverely wrong. After everything Yue told me in that one short paragraph, I dislike Clow very much. And Yue loved him.. But Clow just used him.. I feel so sorry for Yue.. No wonder he always acts so withdrawn and cold towards everyone. Can't blame him after everything he's been through..'

"Sakura?" Tomoyo's voice asked, her thoughts interrupted yet another time. Sakura blinked and looked up to see Tomoyo's worried face. "Hoe! Tomoyo!" she gasped, dazed. "I didn't know you were here.. Hoe?" She looked around. "Where did everyone go to so quickly?" she asked.

"The bell rang about..seven minutes ago.. Sakura.." she answered evenly like a mother talking to a child who didn't understand 2+2=4.

"Hoooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~!" Sakura burst, her face beet red from embarrassment.

Tomoyo giggled. "It's okay," she said. "Let's go home." Sakura blinked, then nodded. "Yea.. Sorry."

"It's okay!" as they walked from class, out the school gates.

Sakura looked up at the sky and gazed at the white fluffy clouds. Again, Tomoyo noticed that Sakura's face was troubled. "Sakura?" she asked softly. Sakura replied, "What?" Tomoyo frowned at Sakura's voice. It seemed like she was far, far away. "Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"Mind if I ask what..or who you're thinking about?"

"Yue."

Tomoyo's frown deepened. "Why him?" Sakura shrugged, still looking at the clouds. "I don't know. Remember this morning, when you said I liked Yue?" she asked. Tomoyo instantly regretted ever bringing that subject up along with the moon guardian that morning. "Ye-Yes.." she answered hesitantly. "Why..?"

"You were right."

Tomoyo blinked. 'Sakura finally realizes she likes Yue?' "I...was?"

Sakura turned her gaze to the ground they were walking on. "Yea.. I like Yue very much. I just wish I could do something to help him. He doesn't seem to like me try though.." she mumbled. 'So..I was wrong.. She still thinks she likes him as a really close friend..' Tomoyo thought and shook her head in pity for her best friend. "Oh, Sakura.. That's just how Yue is.."
"I know!" she exclaimed. "But I want to help him so he doesn't have to act like that! So he doesn't have to live being afraid of love.." Tomoyo blinked. "Afraid of love?" she echoed. Sakura nodded. "I believe Yue is afraid of love. Afraid of loving someone because the person he loved before..."

"Shunned him, used him, treated him like dirt," Tomoyo filled in sorrily, shocking Sakura.

"You know! How?"

Tomoyo looked away from Sakura. "I was there when Yue explained to you why he acts so coldly. I was trying to catch up to you to ask you if you wanted to come over for dinner and maybe stay for the night, but I ended up overhearing the conversation. I'm sorry if you didn't want me to know." Sakura shook her head vehemently. "No, no! I'm not mad at you, Tomoyo! That's fine!"

"I bet Yue wouldn't like it if he knew I knew what he said to you that day.." Tomoyo said.

"Oh, but I do know that you know," said a very familiar cold voice from above.

The two girls were pretty much used to Yue popping out of nowhere and waited for him to land in front of them. However, Sakura was a bit embarrassed, and didn't know how much of their conversation Yue had heard. "Yu-Yue!" Sakura managed to say, "wh-why are yo-you here?" Yue looked down at her with his trademark disapproving gaze and answered, "So, I was right. You do not feel it." Sakura blinked in confusion. "Feel what?" she asked.

"The powerful aura that just arrived."

"Powerful aura? What powerful aura?" Tomoyo asked. Yue ignored her question and said to Sakura, "So, you must have been concentrating on more..important things.." Sakura flinched at his words. They stung her, and she could feel tears welling within her. "I..I'm sorry.." she whispered. "Oh, don't be sorry," Yue said, almost mockingly, "You're my mistress, so you shouldn't be apologizing to your guardian. I am the one who should be apologizing for making you feel uncomfortable." That last statement broke Sakura, and she let the tears spill. "Don't say that!" she cried out, sobbing. "Don't treat me like I'm superior than you! I just want to be your friend! Not your superior, not your mistress, your friend! But you won't let me! Why won't you let me?!"

Yue kneeled down and lifted Sakura's face to his with his fingers. "I told you before, I will not get close to anyone because they will abandon me. Sooner or later, if I was to let you be my friend, you'll abandon me. I know how much pain I went through, and I don't want to experience it again. I admitted to you that I loved Clow Reed with everypart of myself, with my mind, soul, heart, and all he did was use me, shun me, and leave me. And the only reason I got hurt was because I let him do that to me. I won't let anyone else do that to me again."

"But I won't!!" Sakura cried out, feeling hurt. "Please! Just give me a chance! I want to be your friend! Let me be your friend!! Please.. Please--" Yue cut her off by covering her lips with his fingers. "Be quiet," he ordered coldly. "You're still a child. You don't understand."

"But I do!" Sakura protested with anguish. "I know what Clow did to you! I know! So please, give me a chance. Let me be your friend!" Yue turned his head away from her. "So, you know, do you? Fine. You know. You have knowledge. But you don't have experience. You don't know how it feels. Both physichally and emotionally. Physical pain and emotional pain. You will never experience what I did. You wouldn't want to."

"Show me!"

Yue snapped his head at Sakura, staring with widened eyes. Tomoyo did the same. 'Sakura is still too innocent to know what she just told Yue to do.. Oh no.. Don't listen to her, Yue.. She doesn't know what she is doing.'

"I will not," Yue said firmly. Inside, Tomoyo sighed with relief.

"I command you to show me!" Sakura ordered. This caught both Yue and Tomoyo by ultimate surprise. "Co-Command?" Tomoyo asked, eyeing Yue. "No, Yue, don't listen to her! Please! She doesn't know what she's asking for! She's still too innocent! Please, Yue! Do not listen to her! Just this once!! I'm begging you!"

However, Yue did not heed her pleas.

"I must obey my mistress," he spat with disgust. Sakura blinked and stepped back. "I-I'm sorry, Yue, but that's the only way I could make you show me. After you show me, I can help you." She smiled at him. "I can finally help you, Yue. Cheer up!"

Yue glared at her, disgusted with himself and at her for having to do this. But, his mistress commanded him to do it, so.. He had no choice but to grab both of Sakura's slim shoulders with both hands and press his lips roughly against hers.

+~+~+~+

Aaaaaaaaahhhh!! O_o'' Cliff hanger, ne? x_x Guess what people, next chapter is gonna be rated R. I mean, you had to have not seen all of CCS, or watch the american version (Cardcaptors) to not know what Clow did to Yue. Well, actually, the relationship that was between them. To those who do not know, go ahead and read the 2nd chapter. -_-'' Of course, I make Clow Reed kinda the bad guy here.. o_o''

Please review!

12.10.01 * 9:02 PM *