Hi....So this is my first GG fic and the first fic I've completed and posted in VERY long time. I guess I'm just looking to see if I can still do this and I thought a one-shot would be the best way to go. This idea popped into my head and wouldn't stop writing itself. I would love to know what you think. The title and the last line come from the John Lennon song Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy).
When I was a little girl I had many plans for how my life would turn out. I had hopes and dreams for my future. I had goals I was determined to meet. My life would go according to my plan. School was a top priority. I needed to make perfect grades so that I could be accepted into Yale. I went from the best private pre-school to the best private grammar school. And then of course on to the prestigious Constance Billiard High School. I spend my time after school and weekends working on the other parts of my plan. The perfect boyfriend, Nate Archibald. The perfect status, Queen B. I knew what was expected of me as a daughter, a member of Manhattan Elite, as a best friend and sometimes caretaker to Serena, and as a future member of the Colony Club.
Funny thing is. Life doesn't care about your plans for it. It just goes right along and does whatever it is that it wants to.
XOXO
I always pictured my wedding as the kind of day that would make the front page of the New York Times Society Section. The Waldorf-Archibald union would cement my place as the head of Manhattan Society. I would wear a Eleanor Waldorf original designed just for me. Nate would look ever so dashing waiting for me at the end of the aisle of some fabulously old historic church. He would have proposed in some classically romantic way about a year after college. He would be on one knee, with the Vanderbilt diamond in hand. I would say yes of course. We would be engaged for exactly a year and a half. Enough time to put together the perfect wedding even though I had already planned it down to the seating arrangement when I was 14. I would be married before I was 25 to the perfect gentleman. Ready to begin my life as the perfect wife, hostess, and then mother of 2 perfect children.
Life has a sense of humor.
I never expected to be a bride at 22. Just out of college, and only waiting that long because it was my own condition to the marriage. If it had been left up to my soon to be husband, we would have been married 3 years ago. He'd been out to get me to marry him since his 19th birthday. It was kinda romantic. He tried to make it the proposal of my dreams, he said I deserved that since he wasn't the man I'd been dreaming of saying yes to. He did get down on one knee, and he had bought me a fabulous ring to make up for the fact that it wasn't Anne Vanderbilt's ring. I wasn't quite as romantic in my refusal. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to marry him. I was madly in love. And if I wasn't so scared of the reaction of my family and friends and society in general, I might have given in instead of hitting him with Chanel bag. I told him he was crazy if he thought I was going to get married while I was still in college and not even 21. Two years later on my 21st birthday he was down on his knees again. He said we'd wait till I graduated and then we'd have met my two previous conditions. Again I refused, although I was much nicer about it this time. I told him we should wait till we were both 21. That we should take our time and plan the perfect wedding. On his 21sr birthday I knew it was coming. He didn't even get down on his knees this time. He put the ring box on the table between us and told me he was done waiting. He told me wasn't listening to excuses, and we were getting married. Honestly, I didn't even try to refuse that time. He was right. I was out of reasons not to get engaged. I should have known his brilliantly scheming mind would make sure that not only would I say yes…I would say I do very soon after.
I never expected to get married in Vegas. But here I am, making my way up a cheesy aisle with some internet licensed minister waiting to perform the ceremony in an off the rack white dress. My witnesses were my best friend and his step-siblings, Serena and Eric. And the person I never expected to ever marry is waiting for me with a shit eating grin on his face to say those two little words that would bind me to him for eternity.
I never expected to become Mrs. Chuck Bass. But like I said, life has a sense of humor. It's just funny like that.
XOXO
I always thought that my first time would be ultra romantic. A hotel bed, rose petals, candles, champagne. I also always thought my first time would be with Nate. That he would be the only guy I ever was intimate with.
I thought wrong.
There have been a few. One odd tidbit is the fact that I did marry my first, even if we lost our way for a while and I made a few bad judgments in between.
I always thought my first time as a married woman I would try to recreate my first time. I even had a vision of the perfect white nightgown I would wear. Nate would wait patiently on the bed for me. A flute of champagne at his side. Soft candle light flickering in the room. Rose petals scenting the air. I'm sure Chuck would have very much liked to make our first time as man as wife a recreation of our first time together on the way back from the wedding chapel, but seeing as how Serena and Eric were with us, I don't think they would have enjoyed the show. I could practically feel my dress being burned off me by the heat of Chuck's gaze. Still, I was determined to have my romantic night. I had decided to trade in the white nightgown for a black one, something I think Chuck would have appreciated more. I had arranged for the hotel to have the candles burning, a bottle of their finest champagne chilling, and rose petals scattered on the bed. I had no second thoughts, or thoughts about trading in the man I married for the one in my perfect visions, but just once I would have liked something I had planned to turn out just how I imagined it.
I always thought my first time as a married woman would be a testament to my husband's love for me. He would be gentle and romantic, savoring each caress. I never thought my first time as a wife would be up against the hotel room door, hot, sweaty, my panties ripped, my dress bunched around my waist, and his pants pulled down only just past his hips to free himself. But I guess I never thought my first time as a married woman would be with Chuck Bass. We had dropped off Serena and Eric two floors before ours and from the moment we were alone Chuck had been all over me. Hands and lips everywhere. I don't even remember the trek down the hall to our room or him pulling out the key and opening the door. I just remember him pushing me in the room, throwing the do not disturb sign on the handle, and slamming the door closed.
I never thought 12 hours after my wedding I would be lying in bed, my head resting on Chuck's chest, feeling completely boneless and unable to lift so much as a finger to smooth the unladylike hair sticking to my sweaty neck off to the side. My bag hadn't so much as been unzipped. The nightgown would have to wait for another night. I guess that's what comes from over thinking things.
XOXO
I never imagined that I'd become pregnant my first year of marriage. I would wait a respectable one year before starting to try and assume that when it happened I would be close to or just past my second wedding anniversary. I never imagined that I'd be pregnant at only 22 years old. I had wanted to wait till I was 25. Nate and I would go to the Dr. together. We would hold hands when we were told the most exciting news in the world, we were having a little bundle of joy that would be proof to the world of our love. Then nine months and a lot of drugs later, out would pop a beautiful heir to the Archibald throne. My rich dark hair, his striking blue eyes. Our family and friends would "ooo" and "ahh" and "coo" appropriately and the next generation would begin their introduction into the society to which they were born. We would wait an appropriate three years before more drugs would be administered and a cherubic blonde with wide brown eyes, a pert nose, and pouty lips would join our family and ascend to her rightful place as a new queen.
I never imagined laying down on an uncomfortable table for my first ultrasound with a disgusting amount of goop on my stomach while some slacker technician informs me and my smirking husband that not only were we expecting a bundle of joy in five months, we were expecting two. While I tried to process this information without having a panic and/or heart attack, my husband's smirk grew even larger as the tech told us we should make sure to stock up on a lot of blue clothes. Seems Chuck was very proud of himself for doing such an excellent job at knocking me up. Not only had he managed to get me pregnant with twins, he got two male heirs to his vast empire.
I never imagined myself having twins. Never. I saw 2 kids in my future. Born at separate times, not via a c-section. Preferably a boy and a girl, although I don't suppose anyone has control over that. I never imagined myself as big as a house buying sets of everything. Two cribs, two mobiles, just two of everything. I imagined hiring a nanny for most of their care after birth. I never imagined that some of my most fun and memorable nights could be spent with my husband and two sons and a bathtub filled with bubbles. Chuck with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, completely drenched, and laughing as though without a care in the world. I never imagined myself as the kind of mom who would be taking picture of such events and placing them in a baby scrapbook.
I guess things don't always turn out as you imagined.
XOXO
Ok to be perfectly honest, I never planned far enough in advance to see my 25th wedding anniversary party with Nate. I don't think I ever saw Chuck smirk so wide as he did when I said that to him.. He had asked me a few months before the event what kind of ideas I had jotted down long ago in my notebook for such a special occasion with my perfect prince. When I told him my answer he said it made perfect sense. Nate would have bored me long before we made it to 25 years and we wouldn't have lasted as long. Don't tell him I said this, and if you do I'll deny it till the day I die, but he's probably right. Oh don't get me wrong, Nate is a perfectly interesting person…now. He never would have been half as interesting if he had married me instead of Vanessa. We receive a letter from them about once a month. They've been off traveling the world and spreading the Vanderbilt wealth to the poor and needy for years. Nate left the spot in politics that his family had carved out for him behind after college and joined the peace corps with Vanessa. They married shortly after and had been traveling ever since. One month setting up an orphanage in the Ukraine. The next month promoting better vaccinations and healthcare in Africa. He never would have done those things if we were together. I mean…could you honestly see me on safari?
Seeing as how I had no idea of how to proceed with planning a 25th wedding anniversary as I had not made notes on such an event, Chuck took it upon himself to handle the arrangements and decided to make the details of the party a surprise for me. He and our daughter, yes you read that right, our daughter were planning everything together. Chuck took great delight after finding out that I was pregnant again with telling me he knew for a fact we were having a girl because he knew I wanted a little princess I could impart my social climbing wisdom on. I hate to admit that he was right, but our daughter was perfect. She may have even been a better queen then me if it wasn't for one flaw. Her taste in men was definitely lacking. I love Serena and all, but Evan Humphrey was never going to be a leader in society. I must say though, she had tremendous taste in party planning. I like to think she got that from me. She certainly got her looks from her father. Our children were our greatest joys in the last 25 years. Chuck and I of course had our ups and downs. No couple has sunshine all the time. But as he spins me around the dance floor, smiling that smile that reserves only for me, I think back on our life together and can't believe all that we've been through. So maybe my life hadn't gone according to my original plan, but I like to think that it was much more rich and fulfilling this way.
Its like that line in the song goes….Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.